What did officers eat for lunch?
As any AT/AAR world traveller who has visited the USofA will know, ordering breakfast in the US is a good grounding in resistance to interrogation. The aim of the game is to avoid being asked any questions:
"Good morning (name), it's a very nice day and we're ready to order!" Use of her name always invites a friendly smile!
"Two fried eggs please" positively invites questioning as the Americans seemingly have a vast number of ways of cooking the simple fried egg. So "Two eggs over easy" is the way of avoiding that.
The next question to pre-empt is "Ham, bacon or sausage?" Beware if you ask for sausage though - that might prompt the supplementary "Links or patties?" question.
Next comes toast. "White or brown" offends woke sensitivities, so it's best to go for "Rye toast please" - but we're not finished there, because you'll need to specify if you want buttered toast. That can prompt a "Regular butter?" supplementary - for the uninitiated, the alternative to 'regular' isn't low alcohol, lead free, low fat or somesuch, it's 'melted'....
Don't think you've aced it yet, because then comes orange juice, or rather 'OJ' - and that can be 'regular or large'...
Finally, don't forget "That's everything, thanks - and we'd like seperate checks please".
A silly crew game played in many a Holiday Inn or the like - but the delightful waitresses were always willing participants.
"Good morning (name), it's a very nice day and we're ready to order!" Use of her name always invites a friendly smile!
"Two fried eggs please" positively invites questioning as the Americans seemingly have a vast number of ways of cooking the simple fried egg. So "Two eggs over easy" is the way of avoiding that.
The next question to pre-empt is "Ham, bacon or sausage?" Beware if you ask for sausage though - that might prompt the supplementary "Links or patties?" question.
Next comes toast. "White or brown" offends woke sensitivities, so it's best to go for "Rye toast please" - but we're not finished there, because you'll need to specify if you want buttered toast. That can prompt a "Regular butter?" supplementary - for the uninitiated, the alternative to 'regular' isn't low alcohol, lead free, low fat or somesuch, it's 'melted'....
Don't think you've aced it yet, because then comes orange juice, or rather 'OJ' - and that can be 'regular or large'...
Finally, don't forget "That's everything, thanks - and we'd like seperate checks please".
A silly crew game played in many a Holiday Inn or the like - but the delightful waitresses were always willing participants.
"I'll have what he's having."
I won many beers with that line.
Beags is losing. his mind it would appear.
No mention of Grits, Scrapple, Country Ham, Steak, Pork Loins, Pork Chop, Home Fries, Hash Browns, Biscuits, Gravy (Country, Pepper, or Red Eye), Hot Cakes, Waffles, Omelets (at least nine distinct choices by name alone), Corn Beef Hash, Apple Butter, Fried Bologna, Milk and Cereal. and then there is Coffee, Decaf, Tea (hot, Iced either Sweet (standard) or Un-Sweet)
You will not be offered Pork and Beans (Baked Beans as you Brits call them) nor will you hear mention of Kippers.
Watching a young Geordie Lady asking about Grits from a young Southern Waitress was entertaining as neither of them ever understood what the other was saying...much less were talking about!
Do keep up will you Beags....if you are going to play a game you should know the bits and pieces of it.
No mention of Grits, Scrapple, Country Ham, Steak, Pork Loins, Pork Chop, Home Fries, Hash Browns, Biscuits, Gravy (Country, Pepper, or Red Eye), Hot Cakes, Waffles, Omelets (at least nine distinct choices by name alone), Corn Beef Hash, Apple Butter, Fried Bologna, Milk and Cereal. and then there is Coffee, Decaf, Tea (hot, Iced either Sweet (standard) or Un-Sweet)
You will not be offered Pork and Beans (Baked Beans as you Brits call them) nor will you hear mention of Kippers.
Watching a young Geordie Lady asking about Grits from a young Southern Waitress was entertaining as neither of them ever understood what the other was saying...much less were talking about!
Do keep up will you Beags....if you are going to play a game you should know the bits and pieces of it.
Last edited by SASless; 14th Jul 2022 at 16:39.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.
Age: 78
Posts: 7,637
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Ah, US Fine Dining. I had managed to erase the memories of the All-Ranks Mess Hall at Camp Robinson, North Little Rock, where I was forced by circumstance to dine on many stressful occasions. Indeed, my first encounter with Grits … and my last! Identifying some of the offer was challenging enough!
You suppose it was the All Ranks thing that killed your appetite rather than the Chow on offer?
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.
Age: 78
Posts: 7,637
Received 82 Likes
on
39 Posts
You suppose it was the All Ranks thing that killed your appetite rather than the Chow on offer?
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
"Right, I'll have a large wholemeal sub, with York ham, cheese - er, Monterey Jack cheese, tom-a-ter [pronounced correctly], iceberg lettuce, and mayo, All in a paper bag, not plastic."
Smiles to colleague.
"Yep. Regular or low-cal for the mayo ... ?"
(Sigh).
You suppose it was the All Ranks thing that killed your appetite rather than the Chow on offer?
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
No Cloth Serviettes...or White Tea Towel over an extended arm of som enlisted swine perhaps....and no China but a plastic or metal tray for the contents?
Please tell me you did not cut in line as our tradition is the Officer eats last or at least in turn if it is cafeteria style.
Horses, men's feet, men, eat.
