Go Back  PPRuNe Forums > Aircrew Forums > Military Aviation
Reload this Page >

Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

Military Aviation A forum for the professionals who fly military hardware. Also for the backroom boys and girls who support the flying and maintain the equipment, and without whom nothing would ever leave the ground. All armies, navies and air forces of the world equally welcome here.

Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

Old 9th Sep 2017, 06:56
  #141 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,880
Pardon the slight thread drift, but with the tales of instructor daring do I'm forced to inquire. Scuttlebutt had it that you chaps did EOLs in the Whirlwind to the ground without using collective, by running it on in the flare on the rear wheels. Truth is what?
megan is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 08:34
  #142 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Quite near 'An aerodrome somewhere in England'
Posts: 25,481
All these posts from people who used to fly those awful clattering devices merely go to prove that, not only are helicopters dangerous bloody things, but QHIs are too....
BEagle is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 09:16
  #143 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 4,627
by running it on in the flare on the rear wheels. Truth is what?
It's possible. but not intentionally. I did it myself on my second solo flight on the Whirlwind.

I had an indicated engine fire at 200ft so being new I went through the full fire drill which included shutting down the engine. By pure luck I arrived at a field at about 45 knots only to find it straddled with power lines. This encouraged a GodAlmighty flare and I stopped, levelled the aircraft and I was on the ground with virtually zero speed.

I got a Green Endorsement; Bacchus got lots of thanks.

Flash forward seven or so years and I landed at Crossmaglen in Armagh, unloaded and reloaded and took off with BOTH fire lights on. I knew why but the VSO in the jump seat didn't and he was having kittens.
Fareastdriver is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 12:06
  #144 (permalink)  

Gentleman Aviator
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Teetering Towers - somewhere in the Shires
Age: 70
Posts: 3,380
The thread is already drifting a bit, so I feel happy to add a bon mot from a student. Some decades ago, when I was that "dangerous bloody thing" a QHI (thanks BEags), I was doing an out-of-phase check or refresher on the mighty Wessex for the Staish, fine chap (now deceased) D*** S******.

The sortie was "circuits and emergencies" at the Secret Shropshire Helicopter Base; since the Staish had last flown the Queen Mother of the Skies, a check of IFF selection had been added at the end of the after take-off checks. The Staish kept missing this out; cue [email protected] crewman - sorry: diligent downstairs professional - declaring on each occasion:

"With the IFF at Standby, your checks are complete Sir!"

Grumbling noise from Staish, followed by:

"Crewman: the IFF IS at standby and will remain so for the rest of the sortie. I shall not mention it again and would be grateful if you did not either!!"

Nice one Sir!
teeteringhead is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 13:45
  #145 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,606
Nav on Chinook sqn to Boss, "Boss, I've decided to PVR."

"D, that is the best decision of your life."

Sadly perhaps the only one as he was killed in a light aircraft crash not long afterwards.
Pontius Navigator is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 14:32
  #146 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Richard Burtonville, South Wales.
Posts: 1,816
Originally Posted by Pontius Navigator View Post
Nav on Chinook sqn to Boss, "Boss, I've decided to PVR."

"D, that is the best decision of your life."

Sadly perhaps the only one as he was killed in a light aircraft crash not long afterwards.
PN, was that the crash out of Popham?

CG
charliegolf is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 15:54
  #147 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,606
I suspect it was, DN
Pontius Navigator is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 15:58
  #148 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Richard Burtonville, South Wales.
Posts: 1,816
Knew him on 230 in Germany.
charliegolf is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 16:37
  #149 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Lincolnshire
Age: 76
Posts: 16,606
CG, can you send me a link?

Looked after his dog once.
Pontius Navigator is offline  
Old 9th Sep 2017, 21:15
  #150 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 538
Originally Posted by Fareastdriver View Post

Who was the third person in the aeroplane?
Obviously a typo as I'm pretty sure you would have noticed someone hiding back there.

In spite of that little slip ASN is regarded by many as the go-to resource for accident investigation information, I think it's a bit of a feather in the cap to have your account become unofficial record on the incident, but then that's just me. Nevertheless I was impressed.
Fonsini is offline  
Old 10th Sep 2017, 13:27
  #151 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by Danny42C View Post
Herod (#109),

Hard luck - should've used more finesse ! This afternoon I've wasted an inordinate length of time trying to trace a relevant tale I told on "Pilot's Brevet" years ago (no problem; I am in "boarding kennels" ["Respite Care"] to let daughter Mary, who takes tender care of me, have a few days to herself with pals in the Lake District). Inmates here all brain dead, so my time is my own. Predictably, "Search this Thread" no use at all, Google cannot help, so here it is again, from memory:

During the war, the Grand Hotel in Calcutta would allow through its portals officers and Sgt aircrew (but no other sgts or other ranks); Rs10 a night full board (say 13/-). Only you were in a shared room for two (males only), who you got as a "roomie" was pot luck. On this occasion, I got a friendly young American with an interesting background.
He'd entered the USAAC as a flight cadet (same as me) but got chucked out from Primary with 40 hrs Stearman time, left to go back to civil life (which was his right), trotted round to the China National Aircraft Corporation (that distant forebear of Cathay Pacific), who operated DC-3s "over the Hump" Calcutta-Chunking with American crews - and got taken on as a second dickey !

Really he was little more than a human autopilot minder. His Captain would do the navigation, and all the take-offs and landings. He was there to keep an eye on the autopilot and look out for mountain tops, and for someone the Captain to talk to (and to make the coffee). For this onerous task they were paying him Rs700 a month, which was three times what I was getting as a Sgt Pilot (and getting shot at into the bargain). And I'd completed the very Course that he'd been washed out of ! But it was really "danger" money, for the mountains were about at the ceiling of a heavily loaded freight Dak, weather was dicey and they ploughed in with monotonous regularity.

Now for the beef in the sandwich: occasionally they flew VIPs as well as freight, so of course they then needed a hostie on board. I think they sourced them from Pan Am. In those days it was a top job for a girl, like Top Model today, and there was no lack of applicants: naturally they chose the stunners. For that reason, they never lasted long before they snagged their millionaire, and there was a rapid turnover (no comment, please).The possibilities were obvious: one hairy old Captain devised a Fiendish Plan for each new girl. Picture:

It is a sunny lunchtime; a "slip" crew is chatting idly over coffee on the terrace. the Captain tells a strange story of Old China. Seems that, on another of the Company's routes, they overnight stop somewhere in the firm's "resthouse". This is an old mansion, formerly the residence of the high powered mandarin in charge of the province. Naturally he had a string of concubines, but #1 was getting a bit long in the tooth, #2 was getting more and more attention. This was getting up #1's nose, she consulted the Apothecary, and #2 expired, seemingly of Natural Causes. But the Mandarin queried the verdict, did a bit of digging, and got to the truth. #1 then expired horribly in turn, and #3 took over: what happened to her is not known.

The Spirit of #1, however, did not rest, and on moonlight nights returned to the scene of her former triumphs, and checked the place out to see what was going on. She looked into every bedroom, a girl in bed with a man was no threat to her, but a girl alone was Clear and Present Danger. She appeared to any such, screaming and threatening with claw-like talons to tear her (potential) rival's eyes out. Of course, being only a spirit, she could not in fact do any harm, but the performance was so vivid that the victim (who, oddly, was the only one who could see or hear anything) was reduced to a piteous mass of abject terror, packed her bags and left.

But of course, these superstitious Chinese will believe anything, won't they ? Another coffee all round ? .................Nothing more was said about the story.

What the Captain knew, but kept to himself, was that his crew were due to be swapped onto this very route in a couple of weeks.. Again, nothing was said, and after dinner the hostie retired to her virginal couch at one end of the corridor, the chaps to the other. Now you know how these old wooden buildings creak and groan with the fall in temperature: the night birds call eerily; moonlight shadows move as the night breezes rustle the trees .... and the girl remembers the story. She tries to put it out of her mind. But auto-suggestion is very powerful, pretty soon she is visited by the Demon .... The Captain (whose room is, by chance, nearest to hers) lights a cigarette and waits ...... Eventually a terrified little waif scratches at his door, begging for sanctuary in his bed. .... Let Conscience be your Guide !

In the light of dawn, the now throughly ashamed hostie gives up her job and returns to the States. Her replacement comes out, on a sunny terrace with a coffee .......

Neat, eh ? True ? How do I know ? It's just what he told me.
Danny42C - Brilliant and I am sure that you have lots of these stories to tell - maybe enough for a book ? I do hope that if you have a few days of free time, that you put fingers to the keyboard and get them recorded.
HHornet is offline  
Old 10th Sep 2017, 15:04
  #152 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: AndyCappLand
Age: 98
Posts: 7,642
HHornet (#156), Thanks !

Have told many such since I came aboard five years ago on "Pilot's Brevet" Thread. Started on Page 114, #2262 et seq. Have been told to "write a book" on occasion, but (a) old fingers far too weak and frail, and (b) think that the market for war books is saturated.

And my war is almost as far in the past for today's youngsters as was the Crimean War for me when "I were a lad". (you don't list your age).

Cheers, Danny.
Danny42C is offline  
Old 10th Sep 2017, 20:11
  #153 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: South Africa
Age: 82
Posts: 1,323
Originally Posted by Danny42C View Post
And my war is almost as far in the past for today's youngsters as was the Crimean War for me when "I were a lad". (you don't list your age).

Cheers, Danny.
One of those 'frightening' statistics.
ian16th is offline  
Old 10th Sep 2017, 22:26
  #154 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: West Coast Canada
Posts: 3,519
I was at a party about 10 years ago and got to talking to an elderly American gentleman. He was a retired USAF fighter pilot and somehow the topic got on to flying instructing. I asked him if he had done an instructor tour during his time in the Air Force.

His response was no, he had never been selected for an IP tour although he had asked for one as his last pre retirement posting. He figured that the powers that be, must have thought him unsuitable as he had flown operationally in WW 2, Korea, and Vietnam, and been shot down in all three wars !
Big Pistons Forever is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 07:22
  #155 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 80
The Kirby Cadet Mk111 used in Air Cadet gliding was open cockpit and generally communication from bellowed from the instructor in the back seat to his hapless cadet in front, so those at the launch point could often hear these friendly words as it passed over on the final approach.
Beancountercymru is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 14:38
  #156 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: AndyCappLand
Age: 98
Posts: 7,642
ian16th (#158),
One of those 'frightening' statistics.
Another one: seems London no further from PyongYang than Los Angeles (I read).

If so, the Great Fat Un is as much our worry as Trump's. Uncannily reminiscent of the rise of Hitler in the late thirties - same policy of pushing the boundaries. Who'll "Bell the Cat" this time ?

Danny,
Danny42C is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 18:24
  #157 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
seems London no further from PyongYang than Los Angeles (I read)
Thread drift alert....about 600 miles shorter to London.

Only difference, an ICBM going west about has (most likely ) got to cross a fair size chunk of China and Russia. I don't reckon it will get as far as UK before being dealt with. Followed shortly by the problem in NK going away once and for all.
Wrathmonk is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 18:42
  #158 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Odiham
Posts: 190
Originally Posted by Danny42C View Post
...(I) think that the market for war books is saturated...
Danny,
The last word will never be written on WW2, Richard Overy has recently published a new book on Bomber Command. The appetite is there and your story is definitely worth telling. Maybe get a ghost writer (please?).
Chinny Crewman is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 20:03
  #159 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: AndyCappLand
Age: 98
Posts: 7,642
Chinney Crewman (#163),

My story is out on "Pilot's Brevet" Thread for all who want to read it. It is not a tale of
heroics and "derring-do", which is what a publisher needs for a proper "War Book" to sell.
If I were tempted to self-publish (which, "thank the Lord I'm not sir !"), I would go the Kindle wayto limit my losses.

War Books are still, as you say, being published - but are they being sold ? The clientele will probably be limited to the few of the old-timers who are here already. Look around, how many of our own members are under 50 ?

Over all, I'm too old and too frail to bother any more ! Sorry, Chinney.

Danny.
Danny42C is offline  
Old 11th Sep 2017, 20:09
  #160 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: UK
Posts: 597
Originally Posted by Danny42C View Post
It is not a tale of heroics and "derring-do"...
So you say, Danny. Others may differ.
BossEyed is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.