I'd rather stay here in Karachi

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

ABIW

Aha! You have fallen straight into my carefully prepared trap.

By the simple process of elimination I have now deduced that you are not the person I thought you were.

One down.

149 to go

[THINALBERT]

Advert in Post Office window in Devizes seen many years ago.


For Sale. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Not needed anymore as I have just got married and my wife knows f@$%ing EVERYTHING!

[Navaleye]

I had a similar experience with Spike Milligan many years ago, only this time with the Pakistani Dalek sketch and experienced the same result as yourself.

Truly excellent post - almost worth making it sticky.

[OKOC]

enc brianikka

Thinalbert,

That sign was even closer than Devizes cos Scouser the old stn barber (god bless 'im) had it on his mirror!

Mr LC,

If it helps I\'ve still got my grannies old recipe for "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie" somewhere. Maybe you could tempt Mrs LC to cook it for you instead of your fave "steak au rocquefort, chips and mushy peas".

If she is a little reticent I find the adage "waste not want not" takes the heat out of the situation>
good luck

No flies on Me!

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Ah...The Pakistani Dalek Sketch

(enter Dalek wearing a turban)

'Hello darling how's Mr Banerjee'

'He's...not...very...well'

'Why'

'I...exterminated...him'

zzzzzzapppp!!!

'You've exterminated Granny!'

'Put...her...in...the...curry.'
_________________

And not forgetting the Jehovahs Burglars

'We are being persecuted for our beliefs'

'What are your beliefs?'

'We believe you've got a lot of good silverware....'


Pure genius, but unlikely to be repeated on UK Gold or the Paramount Comedy Channel.

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

At post #7 on this thread I mentioned a Spike Milligan sketch that made me laugh so much I had a coughing fit and threw up.

I found it on the internet a couple of days ago. Here it is:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Libny5i9w

and here is the Pakistani Dalek Sketch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0wK1psQk7s

Enjoy.

What the hell, I might as well chuck in the Monty Python Fish Slapping Dance at no extra charge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

[MrBernoulli]

LAUGH??????? Oops ..... I think ..... I've followed through!

[mcs7]

Why is my missus emailing you

Originally Posted by SirPeterHardingsLovechild

______________________________________________
Right I'm F***ing pissed off with your lawnmower. I tried to get it going last night and almost succeeded first time then I ran out of steam. The same thing has just happened again and it's a glorious evening but I can't mow this b**tard lawn! Don't tell me to go get Alan or Mick to help because they're not in. It's a bank holiday and every one in the world but me is off enjoying themselves. If you're not going to be here for the rest of the summer then I'm going to buy a mower I can use. This is not open to negotiation. I am totally p***ed off with your super duper American heap of sh*t. I only hope I can get the b***ard going some time over the bank holiday, otherwise you'll come back to a jungle

Last time I was OOA I got an email that started exactly the same - when I got back I couldn't find the piece of american crap because it was hidden behind the new Flymo which apparently was also Sh!t, the B & D 4 wheel drive off road all terrain mower that had 3 different interlocking safety devices and a 15 quid blue thing from Focus with some kind of plastic blades that could cut like a Gurkha. The american one started first pull when I tried - that really impressed her.

Any how, does anyone want to buy a mower? I don't need one now I'm living in the mess again.

[brickhistory]

Great, funny posts!

Amazing how universal the circumstances of military folks (serving and family) are....

[Tigs2]

Awesome thread

Loved the Dalek sketch. I read on one of the comments underneath it that on Spike Milligans Gravestone it says 'i told you i was ill'

[flipster]

Apparently, the church authorities wouldn't allow that amount of irreverence on a gravestone.

So instead, Spike arranged to have a Gaelic verse as an inscription, with which the authorities were happy.

"Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite"

Roughly translated, it means.........."I told you I was ill"!


The man was a comic genius!!!!!!

[Rocket Chucker]

The Spike links are st hot - nice one. The worrying part is that Spike looks like the 'sort' I threw the old leg over in Wassenberg on Frau's Night only better looking.

Happy days - those I can remember

[tarbaby]

Sounds like my ex-wife.