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Managing change?

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Old 10th Dec 2014, 15:41
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Managing change?

Senior management`s nameless employers are currently going through a Restructuring and Transformation exercise, much as the RAF did/are still doing in the 80s, 90s, 00s, and to date. It seems the Yukspeak/buzzword/phrase usage is just as much bo**cks now as it was then and the process reminded me of a yukspeak phrase generator which existed back in the day - I was delighted to discover one lives on in pprune!:

dack.com > web > web economy bull**** generator

Pull up a Sandbag time: During my time at "HQ Glider Command" Br*****n Me and another blue suited engineer were required to contribute to a report on some sort of office/branch/admin/up cock. A very expensive consultancy firm had been engaged to do it but for some reason, the answers were not as required by certain VSOs. So it came back down the line for it to be done again in house. We duly followed our orders and penned our report, inserting in every second section or so, a randomly generated three word phrase (similar to those generated in the dack site) which meant absolutely nothing. We submitted it in draft as a laugh expecting it to be trashed at the next level. However..... it passed several sifts including a few sideways moves `for comment` where it was signed off by several Wg Cdrs & even a couple of GCs (of which there were many) . It was about to go to 1* when our GC (A sharp cookie & FGB as it happens) did the final check...We were invited into his office for an explanatory chat shortly afterwards. No tea and biscuits though.

I guess if things don't change ...they will probably stay as they are

Anyone else used these generators with success?
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Old 10th Dec 2014, 16:18
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might be......a well known UK based multinational oil company?????

For Gods sake don't confirm!!!
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Old 10th Dec 2014, 19:41
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After my time in the RAF (and elsewhere) I finally returned to UK and a job at a flying training establishment south of Bicester. As a sort of manager I was involved with the weekly "management" meetings (along with another ex-Military pilot). So difficult was it to follow some of the "professional" management speak that, in sheer boredom, we found the "game" of W**k word Bingo. Score sheets were passed around to sympathetic members and it took the Senior Management team many weeks before they twigged what the shouts of "Bingo" actually meant! It worked!!
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Old 11th Dec 2014, 04:07
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Had 2 letters signed off at 1* in MoD with "onageristic estimate" in them. The onager being a form of African mule, it means "wild ass guess"!
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Old 11th Dec 2014, 06:03
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Thank you, Ali, I shall use that one at the first opportunity!
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Old 11th Dec 2014, 06:13
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Keep up to date guys; here are some examples of current language mangling (source Daily Telegraph):

One of Britain’s most senior spy chiefs has admitted that his work is laced with incomprehensible American management jargon.

Jon Day, the Chairman of the Joint Intelligence Committee, was accused by MPs of inhabiting a “2014 episode of Yes Minister” after instructing them on stovepipes, back-casting and horizon scanning.

Mr Day’s role involves presenting critical intelligence gathered by MI5 and MI6 to the Prime Minister.

He also chairs Whitehall’s Horizon Planning Oversight Group, tasked with predicting how trends and threats such as new diseases, nano-technology and the rise of social media will change Britain decades into the future.

But in exchanges before the Commons Public Administration Select Committee, MPs said they found the work of the group impenetrable.

Asked to describe how he could improve his work, Mr Day told the Committee: “Each department has its own horizon scanning policy development machinery. If I was to identify the first risk, it is this work is stove-piped.”

Also giving evidence to the inquiry on Whitehall's future, Campbell McCafferty, director of the Civil Contingencies Secretariat, described how senior officials can hold meetings before disasters strike.

He told the committee: “That mechanism starts before the disruptive challenge. Some of the stove-piping is broken down to get departments together about the issues that are approaching.”

Rear Admiral John Kingwell, who runs the Ministry of Defence’s Concepts and Doctrine Centre which seeks to predict the future of warfare, said his committee would conduct “deep dives and experimentation to consider the ‘so-whats’ for defence and security”.

Greg Mulholland, a Liberal Democrat MP, had had enough.

“I hope the panel can understand some of the cynicism that has already been expressed,” he said.

“I just look at some of the documents we’ve had, some historic and some current. Now it’s all about horizon scanning, trend analysis, road mapping, visioning, gaming, back-casting and this morning we are being told it’s about stovepipes.”

“It seems like a 2014 episode of Yes Minister, frankly."

He said independent research had showed there is no "independent evidence of the effectiveness or value of Whitehall horizon scanning". Other experts have warned "the problem is too many overlapping horizon scanning documents," he said.

“What have we really learnt from all this American jargon management speak? And that’s the polite way of putting it frankly. I can think of another, eight-letter word that might equally describe it. What have we really benefitted as a nation, compared to traditional strategic planning across government and responding adequately on the basis of the best information to crises as they develop?”

Mr Day, who was in charge of Britain's nuclear policy at the Ministry of Defence, replied: “I find it hard to disagree with anything you’ve said.”

Mr Mulholland said: “That really is Yes, Minister.”

Mr Day said: “No! Or the answer is, is yes."

He added: "One of the ideas behind the initiative was there was an extraordinary degree of theology behind around was horizon scanning, what was foresight.

"My report starts by saying there is so much theology, what matters is what it achieves rather than how you describe it.”

Theology, the study of religion, is sometimes used as a synonym for theory in Whitehall.

“Stove-piping” refers to the failure of organisations to share and analyse information properly before feeding it to the leadership, and has been used to describe the way the Bush White House was fed snippets of misleading intelligence ahead of the Iraq war. It is also a form of crude urban slang.

Back-casting is the act of imagining the result you want to achieve, and then working backwards to establish how to get there.

Dame Sally Davies, the Government's Chief Medical Officer, was quizzed over the Government’s planning for the bird flu pandemic. Some 150 British people died after £1 billion was spent on vaccines, the effectiveness of which was questionable, following official forecasts of 65,000 deaths. Dame Sally insisted her predecessors had done their jobs properly.

The panel were also challenged over the failure to act quickly enough to stop Ebola, and over the intelligence failings in Iraq and Afghanistan.


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Old 11th Dec 2014, 06:45
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Angel Bullsh1t.

This is a good one. I have used one given to me by a good friend who was a deck orifice with B&I. I shall attempt to post same if someone could,perhaps, explain how one attaches such an item on PPrune.
Given I could digest and memorise bits and pieces from pilots notes various I cannot understand why I have difficulty with what ought to be a simple process. Perhaps it could be that I suffer from "Disparate Multi-segmentational Challenges".
Ah, time for a class of Cote Du Rhone me thinks.
D.
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