Is this sort of thing common?
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Posted to that hell hole SCATCC Mil in the late seventies. Work in Prestwick, house in Kilmarnock and no service transport (use the bus laddie). I think they posted all the nasty tw**s of SNCOs etc there because life was a misery.
AMQs looked after by the Navy as we were a lodger unit of HMS Gannet. We had a new carpet laid and them they came and cut a foot off either end because it was nearly a fitted carpet and, as we are well aware from here, ORs are not entitled.
Horrendous march out by the ar**hole of a navy Families Civilian who charged me the earth. Got to next posting, whinged mightily to my new CO who did likewise up the line and eventually had the whole lot written off as ridiculous knitpicking by a vindictive.....etc etc etc.
Last posting at Marham and we moved into our own house that we'd bought earlier in anticipation. Got my first pay slip and had been charged MQ rent. Went over to handbrake house to see what had gone on. Some thick PANDA clerk had decided that as he had no record of me living in, I must be in MQs and charged me thus. I'd have to wait until next payday to sort it out. DN has sense of humour failure only helped by the chief clerk, a kindly elderly sort of chap who said come back in half an hour and he'd give me cash after issuing attitude and trade training adjustment to PANDA (or whatever they'd become by then).
MQs and anything to do with them was still stuck in the eighteen hundreds when I left.
DN
AMQs looked after by the Navy as we were a lodger unit of HMS Gannet. We had a new carpet laid and them they came and cut a foot off either end because it was nearly a fitted carpet and, as we are well aware from here, ORs are not entitled.
Horrendous march out by the ar**hole of a navy Families Civilian who charged me the earth. Got to next posting, whinged mightily to my new CO who did likewise up the line and eventually had the whole lot written off as ridiculous knitpicking by a vindictive.....etc etc etc.
Last posting at Marham and we moved into our own house that we'd bought earlier in anticipation. Got my first pay slip and had been charged MQ rent. Went over to handbrake house to see what had gone on. Some thick PANDA clerk had decided that as he had no record of me living in, I must be in MQs and charged me thus. I'd have to wait until next payday to sort it out. DN has sense of humour failure only helped by the chief clerk, a kindly elderly sort of chap who said come back in half an hour and he'd give me cash after issuing attitude and trade training adjustment to PANDA (or whatever they'd become by then).
MQs and anything to do with them was still stuck in the eighteen hundreds when I left.
DN
Last edited by Deepest Norfolk; 23rd Jul 2013 at 12:56.
One is reminded of when one once lived in MQs at Shawbury
)fedex727
Same thing happened at RAF Shawbury except that the 6" removers made such a hash of it another contract had to be let to remove the ruined carpets* and replace them.
* Offcuts could be bought at 'Whoppey Phillips' in Shrewsbury for any 'remedial' work prior to march-out!!
Old Ned - "Robson Report" - could be the start of a whole new thread. One of the finest men I ever worked for -when he was DDIOT at Cranwell. (Except for his bl@@dy dog). Went on to be DPR (RAF) - watched the Panorama report on BBC1 when he was at Civil Service Staff College lecturing to the Joint service PR Course - he chuckled all the way through - "picked that hint up then", "did not tell them that" and so on. When he was promoted 2 star the headline in the Sleaford Standard was "Local Farmer Promoted" - he kept about 100 sheep around Rauceby somewhere. If the airships wanted a report on officers' careers that did not rock the boat, they should not have asked RR to write it. Smashing bloke - hope he is still around.
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Was OC PMS at Wittering, having recently left DIOT, when Bobby Robson visited to do some sort of "fact finding" tour. I had arranged all the usual things and, as it was a short notice visit, met him at the guardroom to give him a copy of the Visit Instruction.
He took one look at it and then said "Jump in the car Al, you can show me what really happens and bugger the VI".
I did a quick phone call to the boss to tell him what was up and that I would be unavailable for most of the rest of the day and Bobby Robson got the real story which he wouldn't otherwise have got.
Top bloke.
He took one look at it and then said "Jump in the car Al, you can show me what really happens and bugger the VI".
I did a quick phone call to the boss to tell him what was up and that I would be unavailable for most of the rest of the day and Bobby Robson got the real story which he wouldn't otherwise have got.
Top bloke.
We've all got 'em. Here are a couple of mine.
Fined £50 to replace mattress that was 'marked' - I'd had it in its plastic cover since issued and it was unused in bedroom 2 I removed the cover for march out. The 'mark' was where the cover had been taped on.
Fined to polish out a watermark on a dining table, finding a similar mark in mew new home I complained only to be told. We don't polish anymore.
Opened the door to let the SWO in (he did march outs at Mac') to be told. "This wont take long unless you're a dirty B@stard in which case we'll be here all day. He then accused my dog op peeing on a carpet which was damp from my leaking window and tried to bill me for a new one. Cue Barrack Warden to save the day telling him it was issued to an OMQ 30 years earlier.
Fined £50 to replace mattress that was 'marked' - I'd had it in its plastic cover since issued and it was unused in bedroom 2 I removed the cover for march out. The 'mark' was where the cover had been taped on.
Fined to polish out a watermark on a dining table, finding a similar mark in mew new home I complained only to be told. We don't polish anymore.
Opened the door to let the SWO in (he did march outs at Mac') to be told. "This wont take long unless you're a dirty B@stard in which case we'll be here all day. He then accused my dog op peeing on a carpet which was damp from my leaking window and tried to bill me for a new one. Cue Barrack Warden to save the day telling him it was issued to an OMQ 30 years earlier.
Some balance to the argument.....
I don't march out for a couple of weeks, so have that pleasure to come. However, in the last 12 months while living in quarters I have:
Paid £280 a month in rent (ignoring the council tax element) for a 3 bedroom house, the equivalent of which would cost at least £500-£650 in the private sector.
Mentioned a slight fault in the bath (to avoid march out complications) only to have a new one fitted within days.
Had a replacement cooker installed when the old one started to die.
Had an issue with a slow to drain sink outflow, only to have someone come round and rod it within about 3 hours. The date was 31 Jan!!
Had any issue I have had dealt with quickly, efficiently and to my satisfaction. With most private landlords it would have taken weeks.
Delayed my march out at short notice, only to find the system totally accommodating to my situation.
So far all the staff I have encountered have been helpful, courteous, and efficient. But good news stories aren't as entertaining/dramatic......
I don't march out for a couple of weeks, so have that pleasure to come. However, in the last 12 months while living in quarters I have:
Paid £280 a month in rent (ignoring the council tax element) for a 3 bedroom house, the equivalent of which would cost at least £500-£650 in the private sector.
Mentioned a slight fault in the bath (to avoid march out complications) only to have a new one fitted within days.
Had a replacement cooker installed when the old one started to die.
Had an issue with a slow to drain sink outflow, only to have someone come round and rod it within about 3 hours. The date was 31 Jan!!
Had any issue I have had dealt with quickly, efficiently and to my satisfaction. With most private landlords it would have taken weeks.
Delayed my march out at short notice, only to find the system totally accommodating to my situation.
So far all the staff I have encountered have been helpful, courteous, and efficient. But good news stories aren't as entertaining/dramatic......
Last edited by Biggus; 25th Jul 2013 at 17:10.
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Biggus, look forward to your update in a couple of weeks
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Last edited by NutLoose; 25th Jul 2013 at 20:07.
You're not wrong there Sisemen. I exited my last owned home having spent a couple of days cleaning it (old habits and all) Only to find the Copper who sold me his, had absolutely no compunction about walking out and not touching anything - maybe he was miffed that he'd come down 70k on the asking price... 
. At least the marchout guaranteed to a large degree that you walk into something akin to the one you left.
. At least the marchout guaranteed to a large degree that you walk into something akin to the one you left.
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One positive of the march out regime was that it took the fear out of deep cleaning. I got £12.5k off the price of my first house as it was in such a disgusting state that it put buyers off. (No smell of fresh baked bread but plenty of smells) It took my wife and I a week of concentrated elbow grease, including "flea bombs" and it came up like a new pin. Retrospective thanks to some of the total a#*#h*#*s I met on too many march outs to list.
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Well, MQs (whatever) are generally 5h1t.
Moved in to 3 over the course of my job in the raf, none of which were particularly clean - or indeed worth a fraction of the rent being charged. All were certainly in a better condition when we moved out compared to when we moved in - nothing to do with DHE's efforts I might add.
On last march out duly paid the cash for a recommended cleaning biddy - life's too short to arse about with that sort of thing; when underling staff inspected property they proceeded to tread several clods of mud from the recently rained upon drive and pathway into the carpets.
Nuke the lot of 'em, houses and retard staff. They will not be missed.
Moved in to 3 over the course of my job in the raf, none of which were particularly clean - or indeed worth a fraction of the rent being charged. All were certainly in a better condition when we moved out compared to when we moved in - nothing to do with DHE's efforts I might add.
On last march out duly paid the cash for a recommended cleaning biddy - life's too short to arse about with that sort of thing; when underling staff inspected property they proceeded to tread several clods of mud from the recently rained upon drive and pathway into the carpets.
Nuke the lot of 'em, houses and retard staff. They will not be missed.
Funny how everyone leaves their quarters in better condition than they found them
As for being a drudge and an odious part of military life (quoted elsewhere) get a freaking life. It's a normal and expected courtesy to clean up after yourself. Hell's teeth, if you found cleaning a house so difficult how did you cope with life and you would certainly have been misplaced in your military career. As for the need for the march out system well just look at the story of the arses that "knocked down walls to turn 3 bed into a 2 bed" or put holes in walls to "watch the telly from bed". Yes wouldn't it be fun to take over a quarter from them
Last edited by TomJoad; 26th Jul 2013 at 10:21.
In 1972 I took over an officer's quarter in Singapore and the MQ wallah removed twelve breakfast plates and issued twelve dinner plates bringing the total to 24 dinner plates. He removed twelve Aberdeen tumblers and issued twelve naval 'tot' glasses bringing that total to 24. I also moved from one officer's quarter in Dunoon (which hadn't been trifled with) into another four-bedroomed detached bungalow next door which had been refurbished for my takeover. Gone were the fitted carpets, replaced by VERY expensive cortisene and nearly fitted carpets. This exercise cost much, much more than mere fitted carpets but as I was not an officer fitted carpets were not for me! The local 'Man from the Ministry' had wanted the cheaper option but was overridden by his Naval overlords who obviously didn't want a mere rating having ideas above his station!
Tom Joad, spot on, Mate.
It was so much fun marching into a quarter that had been left in a complete sh*t heap. (I wonder what they did with the money the previous occupants were charged for cleaning?)
The whole idea that ORs are not entitled to fitted carpets brings to mind Bill Bailey's "Das ist Verboten".
Originally Posted by Tom Joad
It's a normal and expected courtesy to clean up after yourself. Hell's teeth, if you found cleaning a house so difficult how did you cope with life and you would certainly have been misplaced in your military career.
The whole idea that ORs are not entitled to fitted carpets brings to mind Bill Bailey's "Das ist Verboten".
Last edited by Courtney Mil; 27th Jul 2013 at 09:52.
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It was so much fun marching into a quarter that had been left in a complete sh*t heap. (I wonder what they did with the money the previous occupants were charged for cleaning?)
We run a couple of gites in the Vendee. people generally stay for a week or a fortnight. We don't take a "cleaning" deposit, nor do we ask people to leave the gite other than "tidy". however, the differences between families and how they leave the place can be large. witness today - 2 families left at 1000 - in one gite we found the place like a new pin, sheets stripped and folded, with the towels. The other - beds as they got out of them, gite had not been swept for a week (ie when they complained about the spiders' overnight labours), and fridge left grubby, with bits of food - takes all sorts.............
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
In the second house we bought there was a breakfast, minus plate, in one of the bedroom wardrobes.