Adjusting to Civvy Street
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Adjusting to Civvy Street
Not my words unfortunately, stolen from another site.
Things to consider whilst adjusting to Civvy street:
1. Speech:
•Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred; it is not 0530 or 1400. It is 5:30am or 2 in the afternoon.
•Words like "pit", and "PT" will get you weird looks; use bed, workout, get used to it.
•"F**k" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now. Try "um" instead.
•It's a phone, not a radio: conversations on a phone do not end in "Roger that" or "Out"
•People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from NCHQ with the 2 and a half or that you spent a deployment with the RN.... no more acronyms
2. Style:
•Do not put creases in your jeans.
•Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
•Do not refer to your suits numerically; your best jacket and trousers are not your number 1s
•Wearing a hat indoors does not make you a Wren; it makes you like the rest of the world.
3. Women:
•Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal. Neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
•Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense". It makes you a retard.
4. Personal accomplishments:
•In the real world, being able to do lots of press-ups will not lead to automatic promotion or help your career in any way.
•Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
•How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
5. Drinking:
•NATO is an organisation, not the way you want your tea made
•In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you a written warning (or sacked), not a pat on the back from your boss.
•Shouting "Naked bar" at your work's Christmas party will have no effect.
•That time you drank a bottle of Absinth and shat in your pal's suitcase is not a conversation starter.
6. Bodily functions:
•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional".
•The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny regardless of how big it was, how much it burned, how much it smelled..... or how clear the photo is.
•You can't make fun of someone for their disability, no matter how funny the ailment is.
The human body:
•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
•If your arse is sore, don’t ask your colleague on the next desk if he can see what’s wrong with it.
7. Spending habits:
•One day, you will have to pay for the things that keep you alive: heat, light, shelter, food, doctor, etc, etc
•Buying a £30,000 car on a £16,000 a year salary is a really, really stupid idea.
•Spending money on video games instead of on nappies is wrong.
8. Interacting with civilians:
•Making fun of your neighbour to his face for being fat will not make you popular in the neighbourhood.
9. Real jobs:
•They really can fire you. On the flip side you really can quit.
•Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember they really can quit too. You can't tell your secretary to "follow it down" if she drops her pen. And taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
•Sport is no longer part of your working week. Wednesday afternoons are for work, just like every other afternoon.
10. The Law:
•Your civvy boss, unlike your CO, can't save you and probably won't. In fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after he finds out you've been arrested.
•Even McDonald's do background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job.
•Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested and/or fired, not yelled at on Monday morning before being asked if you won.
11. General knowledge:
•You can in fact really say what you think about the Queen in public.
•Pain is not weakness leaving the body. It's just pain.
•They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are. Be polite.
Finally
12. Read the contracts before you sign them - remember what happened the first time.....!!!!!!
Things to consider whilst adjusting to Civvy street:
1. Speech:
•Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred; it is not 0530 or 1400. It is 5:30am or 2 in the afternoon.
•Words like "pit", and "PT" will get you weird looks; use bed, workout, get used to it.
•"F**k" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now. Try "um" instead.
•It's a phone, not a radio: conversations on a phone do not end in "Roger that" or "Out"
•People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from NCHQ with the 2 and a half or that you spent a deployment with the RN.... no more acronyms
2. Style:
•Do not put creases in your jeans.
•Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
•Do not refer to your suits numerically; your best jacket and trousers are not your number 1s
•Wearing a hat indoors does not make you a Wren; it makes you like the rest of the world.
3. Women:
•Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal. Neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
•Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense". It makes you a retard.
4. Personal accomplishments:
•In the real world, being able to do lots of press-ups will not lead to automatic promotion or help your career in any way.
•Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
•How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
5. Drinking:
•NATO is an organisation, not the way you want your tea made
•In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you a written warning (or sacked), not a pat on the back from your boss.
•Shouting "Naked bar" at your work's Christmas party will have no effect.
•That time you drank a bottle of Absinth and shat in your pal's suitcase is not a conversation starter.
6. Bodily functions:
•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional".
•The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny regardless of how big it was, how much it burned, how much it smelled..... or how clear the photo is.
•You can't make fun of someone for their disability, no matter how funny the ailment is.
The human body:
•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
•If your arse is sore, don’t ask your colleague on the next desk if he can see what’s wrong with it.
7. Spending habits:
•One day, you will have to pay for the things that keep you alive: heat, light, shelter, food, doctor, etc, etc
•Buying a £30,000 car on a £16,000 a year salary is a really, really stupid idea.
•Spending money on video games instead of on nappies is wrong.
8. Interacting with civilians:
•Making fun of your neighbour to his face for being fat will not make you popular in the neighbourhood.
9. Real jobs:
•They really can fire you. On the flip side you really can quit.
•Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember they really can quit too. You can't tell your secretary to "follow it down" if she drops her pen. And taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
•Sport is no longer part of your working week. Wednesday afternoons are for work, just like every other afternoon.
10. The Law:
•Your civvy boss, unlike your CO, can't save you and probably won't. In fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after he finds out you've been arrested.
•Even McDonald's do background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job.
•Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested and/or fired, not yelled at on Monday morning before being asked if you won.
11. General knowledge:
•You can in fact really say what you think about the Queen in public.
•Pain is not weakness leaving the body. It's just pain.
•They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are. Be polite.
Finally
12. Read the contracts before you sign them - remember what happened the first time.....!!!!!!
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ROFL, thanks made my day.
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6. Bodily functions:
•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing
hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as "unprofessional".
"And what do we say?", asked Grandma.
Back came the loud reply: "Badger!".
Strangley enough it was me that got the blame from management that night.... even although Grandma had not got a clue of what it was all about.
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I must have led quite a sheltered life in the RAF 1959-73, on the other hand it brings back memories of my time attached to the Army 1968-70
"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
The bit about clocks is only half true. I've had several appointment cards arrive with 04:00pm and suchlike. When I query it, they can't see what is wrong. Doh!!"
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Well the above is true, and funny. But taking the general headings, you can certainly use most of them to your advantage.
1. Speech:
The ability to speak authoritatively sets you apart from those that can't.
2. Style:
The military way of polishing shoes and ironing clothes sets you apart. No need to look like a window model or a guardsman, but you know you will feel bad if you don't iron your shirt.
3. Women:
Got me there!
4. Personal accomplishments:
You'll have done more than most in civvy street. The boss is raining **** down on you, and deadlines are expiring. "Well, at least no c*** is shooting at me" puts it into perspective.
5. Drinking:
Use this skill sparingly. When the office gob****e starts at it at the Christmas party, quietly drink him under the table and put him in a taxi home. It will be remembered.
6. Bodily functions/human body:
The ability to go for hours without a pee comes to all who've been to mess dinners. You know you can sit through the boring presentation without being the slackbladder who needs to pay a visit just as the CEO gets up to do his bit.
7. Spending habits:
You'll likely earn a lot more. Every weekend a millionaire's weekend. Spend the lot. As long as you can afford it.
8. Interacting with civilians:
Don't make fun of them, let them do it themselves. Rise above. It will be noticed.
9. Real jobs:
Have the moral courage to speak up when the wrong decision is being made. Exercise the tact you learned in the mob when the OC f**ked up the orders. "Are you sure about that boss? What about XYZ?"
10. The Law:
Keep the right side of it. You managed X yrs service without getting caught.
11. General knowledge:
You've been to more places and done more things. Feel free to drop the occasional one in, but don't make a habit of "When I...". Try "Yes, I did something like that in the Army, what we found was best was XYZ..."
Finally
12.
Yep!!
1. Speech:
The ability to speak authoritatively sets you apart from those that can't.
2. Style:
The military way of polishing shoes and ironing clothes sets you apart. No need to look like a window model or a guardsman, but you know you will feel bad if you don't iron your shirt.
3. Women:
Got me there!
4. Personal accomplishments:
You'll have done more than most in civvy street. The boss is raining **** down on you, and deadlines are expiring. "Well, at least no c*** is shooting at me" puts it into perspective.
5. Drinking:
Use this skill sparingly. When the office gob****e starts at it at the Christmas party, quietly drink him under the table and put him in a taxi home. It will be remembered.
6. Bodily functions/human body:
The ability to go for hours without a pee comes to all who've been to mess dinners. You know you can sit through the boring presentation without being the slackbladder who needs to pay a visit just as the CEO gets up to do his bit.
7. Spending habits:
You'll likely earn a lot more. Every weekend a millionaire's weekend. Spend the lot. As long as you can afford it.
8. Interacting with civilians:
Don't make fun of them, let them do it themselves. Rise above. It will be noticed.
9. Real jobs:
Have the moral courage to speak up when the wrong decision is being made. Exercise the tact you learned in the mob when the OC f**ked up the orders. "Are you sure about that boss? What about XYZ?"
10. The Law:
Keep the right side of it. You managed X yrs service without getting caught.
11. General knowledge:
You've been to more places and done more things. Feel free to drop the occasional one in, but don't make a habit of "When I...". Try "Yes, I did something like that in the Army, what we found was best was XYZ..."
Finally
12.
Read the contracts before you sign them - remember what happened the first time.....!!!!!!
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All points, (some more than others), all too familiar. The "speaking in acronyms" is by far the most poignant (if that's perhaps not quite the right word).
That particular point was brought home to me years after I left and went to stay for a weekend with a close friend who'd stayed in - all the way to multi-star rank. I found myself struggling to follow his conversation, for, (it seemed to me), he couldn't string a sentence together without inserting multiple TLAs and MFLAs* between the odd definite or indefinite article - and it dawned on me that he was speaking exactly as I once had.
My first, earth-shattering "discovery moment" after getting out was when I realised that I could say "no" to a boss. I was offered an interstate transfer that I really didn't want so said "no". I agonised for weeks after knocking it back because it then occurred to me that, if it turned out to be the wrong decision, I couldn't fall back on the tried and true old Service tradition of blaming "those bastards at DPO". If it turned out to be the wrong decision, I would have no one to blame but myself.
(*MFLA = meaningless FOUR letter acronyms)
That particular point was brought home to me years after I left and went to stay for a weekend with a close friend who'd stayed in - all the way to multi-star rank. I found myself struggling to follow his conversation, for, (it seemed to me), he couldn't string a sentence together without inserting multiple TLAs and MFLAs* between the odd definite or indefinite article - and it dawned on me that he was speaking exactly as I once had.
My first, earth-shattering "discovery moment" after getting out was when I realised that I could say "no" to a boss. I was offered an interstate transfer that I really didn't want so said "no". I agonised for weeks after knocking it back because it then occurred to me that, if it turned out to be the wrong decision, I couldn't fall back on the tried and true old Service tradition of blaming "those bastards at DPO". If it turned out to be the wrong decision, I would have no one to blame but myself.
(*MFLA = meaningless FOUR letter acronyms)
Remember that you can no longer relieve stress by screaming around at supersonic speed and blowing sh!t up. Try yoga.
If they want a war story, they'll ask. They won't ask often. And half the time they don't mean it and are just being polite.
Yes, you did have more fun in a weekend than they'll have in a lifetime, but pretend to be interested in their stories anyway.
Try to avoid answering questions with a simple "Yes" or "No", especially when the question lasted 5 minutes. If you get asked 5 questions at once, don't answer "Yes, No, No, Yes, Yes" as they will have forgotten what questions 2-4 were (or even that they asked them). Just say "I'll have to consider that carefully". You can now loaf off for anywhere between 15 minutes and 3 weeks depending on employer, then come back and say "Yes/No".
Roadster - 5. Drinking - very true
.
If they want a war story, they'll ask. They won't ask often. And half the time they don't mean it and are just being polite.
Yes, you did have more fun in a weekend than they'll have in a lifetime, but pretend to be interested in their stories anyway.
Try to avoid answering questions with a simple "Yes" or "No", especially when the question lasted 5 minutes. If you get asked 5 questions at once, don't answer "Yes, No, No, Yes, Yes" as they will have forgotten what questions 2-4 were (or even that they asked them). Just say "I'll have to consider that carefully". You can now loaf off for anywhere between 15 minutes and 3 weeks depending on employer, then come back and say "Yes/No".
Roadster - 5. Drinking - very true
.
Last edited by Fox3WheresMyBanana; 15th Jan 2013 at 00:23.
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•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
"My left testicle" I replied
having shoved it down my trousers under the desk to test it.
Last edited by NutLoose; 15th Jan 2013 at 00:48.
BUT ... you can occasionally use your service experience to put one over on a bumptious character.
I worked for an international business consultancy and one of the 'partners' was an ex-US Marine aviator. He made regular and frequent use of the phrase; 'when I was in the 'Nam' - which I understood to mean: 'during my deployment to the Vietnam Theatre of Operations ...' - before imparting some pearl of wisdom.
Eventually, after one rather tedious encounter, I 'innocently' asked him when he had been in Vietnam. The response was something like: 'I was there in 1970-71'. 'Oh' says me 'I went there in early '67'. 'What u mean' he retorts 'there weren't no limies there'. 'There were in '67' says I with a wry smile and a tap on the side of my nose. I, of course, didn't expand on the fact that I was there for a very temporary purpose and was careful to keep my head down throughout.
Surprisingly, thereafter there were fewer references to south east Asia.
Old Duffer
I worked for an international business consultancy and one of the 'partners' was an ex-US Marine aviator. He made regular and frequent use of the phrase; 'when I was in the 'Nam' - which I understood to mean: 'during my deployment to the Vietnam Theatre of Operations ...' - before imparting some pearl of wisdom.
Eventually, after one rather tedious encounter, I 'innocently' asked him when he had been in Vietnam. The response was something like: 'I was there in 1970-71'. 'Oh' says me 'I went there in early '67'. 'What u mean' he retorts 'there weren't no limies there'. 'There were in '67' says I with a wry smile and a tap on the side of my nose. I, of course, didn't expand on the fact that I was there for a very temporary purpose and was careful to keep my head down throughout.
Surprisingly, thereafter there were fewer references to south east Asia.
Old Duffer