RAF Pilot - Physical Requirements?
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So... The consensus seems to be that, apart from one aberration, the physical requirement for fast jet is a small penis. That truckies can't see their's no matter how big it might be and Loadmasters have extremely long and powerful appendages...
It seems that "fast jet" syndrome can be "fixed" by wearing a big watch. Can you imagine how freaking awesome you'd be if you were a Loadmaster wearing a big watch....
It'll never happen I'm afraid... Evolution stepped in and you young types just don't have, or need, the colossal appendages that Loadmasters required so the RAF, in it's wisdom, disbanded the trade. Now they have some amorphous blob trade with merely average penii...
[Awaiting the spelling police on that last word]
It seems that "fast jet" syndrome can be "fixed" by wearing a big watch. Can you imagine how freaking awesome you'd be if you were a Loadmaster wearing a big watch....
It'll never happen I'm afraid... Evolution stepped in and you young types just don't have, or need, the colossal appendages that Loadmasters required so the RAF, in it's wisdom, disbanded the trade. Now they have some amorphous blob trade with merely average penii...
[Awaiting the spelling police on that last word]
Disagree.
Small penis = won't stick out past the g-suit/bunny suit/immersion suit/etc for an in-flight pee.
Large penis = same problem, won't bend enough to get past 3 zips.
So, fast jets = stunningly average penis.
The really big dicks were only sent to aircraft that didn't require g-suits,which was choppers (ha!), but not SAR (frequent immersion suit wearers)
The really small dicks had to go to aircraft with toilets, which was shiny 10's.
Dr Austin Powers promoting his "Re-role to Fast Jet" device to VC10 co-pilots.
Small penis = won't stick out past the g-suit/bunny suit/immersion suit/etc for an in-flight pee.
Large penis = same problem, won't bend enough to get past 3 zips.
So, fast jets = stunningly average penis.
The really big dicks were only sent to aircraft that didn't require g-suits,which was choppers (ha!), but not SAR (frequent immersion suit wearers)
The really small dicks had to go to aircraft with toilets, which was shiny 10's.
Dr Austin Powers promoting his "Re-role to Fast Jet" device to VC10 co-pilots.
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Foxy.... Baby...
Real men pee in their immersion suit.... Us "chopper" chaps wore them more often than you think - lots of transits over to the (in)continent. A quick rinse with a couple of bottles of Grolsch and they smelled good again... 
Small penis = won't stick out past the g-suit/bunny suit/immersion suit/etc for an in-flight pee.
Large penis = same problem, won't bend enough to get past 3 zips.
Large penis = same problem, won't bend enough to get past 3 zips.
Real men have such a huge bladder that they never need to pee.
Longest trip 11:15
Mind you, when God was handing out body parts, I ended up in the bladder, liver and balls queues twice, and seemed to have missed the brains, nerves and neck retraction muscles departments entirely.
I sold my soul to win my first solo ACT 5-0, and it was worth it.
Longest trip 11:15
Mind you, when God was handing out body parts, I ended up in the bladder, liver and balls queues twice, and seemed to have missed the brains, nerves and neck retraction muscles departments entirely.
I sold my soul to win my first solo ACT 5-0, and it was worth it.
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"RAF Pilot - Physical Requirements?
This is my first post here, I appologise if it is in the wrong topic.
I have been reading up about RAF Pilotting jobs for some time now, I have read that the type of aircraft that successful applicants will be trained to fly is dependant on many factors including physical dimensions?
Does anyone know what physical dimensions would categorise a person for which type of aircraft?
I.E for multi engined how tall/wide or type of build?
Im hoping to apply as soon as my college course is complete, just waiting on lecturers to mark the bleading work!!"
With the greatest respect, I believe academic ability and performance has something to do with selection. Being able to correctly spell your desired career would be a strong start along with basic grammar and punctuation.
I may strike you as unnecessarily pedantic, but contrary to the general trend in public, how you present yourself is actually important.
This is my first post here, I appologise if it is in the wrong topic.
I have been reading up about RAF Pilotting jobs for some time now, I have read that the type of aircraft that successful applicants will be trained to fly is dependant on many factors including physical dimensions?
Does anyone know what physical dimensions would categorise a person for which type of aircraft?
I.E for multi engined how tall/wide or type of build?
Im hoping to apply as soon as my college course is complete, just waiting on lecturers to mark the bleading work!!"
With the greatest respect, I believe academic ability and performance has something to do with selection. Being able to correctly spell your desired career would be a strong start along with basic grammar and punctuation.
I may strike you as unnecessarily pedantic, but contrary to the general trend in public, how you present yourself is actually important.
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500:
You were correct but, like you, it seemed to take forever before there was a real condemnation of the poor lad... CM excepted... of course...
I'm sure the others will pile on soon and inform him that they are all perfect physical specimens and flew fat jets despite their inability to see their willys...
No... it isn't a typo ladies...
You were correct but, like you, it seemed to take forever before there was a real condemnation of the poor lad... CM excepted... of course...
I'm sure the others will pile on soon and inform him that they are all perfect physical specimens and flew fat jets despite their inability to see their willys...
No... it isn't a typo ladies...
AA, don`t the `fat` jet guys have `vanity` mirrors above the windscreen,so they can see their `appendages`...(C-17 and Voyager crews)?
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I always thought they just wanted people keen to be fast jet... The rest were just the dross that couldn't.
Standby for incoming from those that bite
Standby for incoming from those that bite
Last edited by NutLoose; 20th Jul 2012 at 02:47.
I always thought they wanted people keen to be fast jet... The rest were just the dross that couldn't.
The standard equation is Σ (CQ + WS + PS) = Constant
Where CQ = Quality of car, WS = Size of watch and PS = Size of one's gentleman's parts.
Thus if one drives a Porsche and wears a Rolex, one is likely to be poorly endowed.
Whereas if one drives a Peugeot diesel, wears a Swatch........
(Although clearly this only works for blokes, as some might confirm )Oh and before you ask, an AMG and a Breitling......
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"I always thought they just wanted people keen to be fast jet... The rest were just the dross that couldn't."
So the recommendation for the OP when he dresses and drives to the interview is
to drive some swanky, fast sports car, wear a big expensive watch so that at least they think he wants to fly fast jets ?
.
So the recommendation for the OP when he dresses and drives to the interview is
to drive some swanky, fast sports car, wear a big expensive watch so that at least they think he wants to fly fast jets ?
.
Last edited by 500N; 20th Jul 2012 at 05:14.
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We had a wee lass on our course who was too light for the hawk ejection seat limits. So after many many beers the night before we feed her up on a full lard breaky and made her drink pints and pints of water before her official weigh in and measurement... she ended up:
a) about half a kg over the limit and
b) flying multis
a) about half a kg over the limit and
b) flying multis
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RAF pilot requirements
Don't know the RAF's physical dimension criteria for pilots. Do know they at least like their pilots to be able to spell! Only one 'p' in apologise, only one 't' in piloting, and no 'a' in bleeding!
Does anyone know what physical dimensions would categorise a person for which type of aircraft?
Some years ago I was involved in an anthropometric study at Farnborough, the range of different bodily dimensions that they can fit in is quite considerable however; aircraft are designed around a normal curve. If you have any dimensions outside the normal you may be restricted, too many dimensions outside the box and you will be excluded altogether.
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Don't know the RAF's physical dimension criteria for pilots. Do know they at least like their pilots to be able to spell! Only one 'p' in apologise, only one 't' in piloting, and no 'a' in bleeding!
Red On, Green On
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The standard equation is Σ (CQ + WS + PS) = Constant
Where CQ = Quality of car, WS = Size of watch and PS = Size of one's gentleman's parts.
Thus if one drives a Porsche and wears a Rolex, one is likely to be poorly endowed.
Where CQ = Quality of car, WS = Size of watch and PS = Size of one's gentleman's parts.
Thus if one drives a Porsche and wears a Rolex, one is likely to be poorly endowed.
I prefer CQ+WS=1/Ps