COMMENT OF THE WEEK

[monkeymanagement]

I LOVE the 4th of July! The day never fails to amuse me. Working in the colonies for the past 3 years - on said Independence Day, cue our cousins with the "Have a Happy 4th" salutation. The winner was the Class 6 checkout woman:

"Have a Happy 4th."
"I'm British."
"Don't you celebrate the 4th."
Cue the USAF colonel behind me to double up choking back tears of laughter.

Made worse on 2 fronts. 1. I have the Union Flag on my uniform and 2. For those that know me, my surname (on patch) gives the nationality away somewhat. MM

(It's not all ignorance across the pond though. One of my students, some time ago, mentioned that they'd been to Greenwich and visited the brass meridian line. It was great, "Jumped back and forth across it shouting 'north', 'south'. Fortunately this comment was in a full crew room.....)

[Pontius Navigator]

FZ, no a rather more ********** character and god fun to be with. I believe he was chucked out with diabetes and last I heard still living not too far from Cottesmore.

[ShyTorque]

Yep, we sure are an ignorant people. One has to wonder how we have survived all these years without the expert guidance from our UK brethren, especially in military matters. Thanks for letting me listen in to this enlightened discussion as I have learned much about folks from your part of the world.

Woohoo! An ironic yank.....it's another first on PPRuNe!

[DC10RealMan]

It was my Grandfathers proud boast that he had spent all his life in England and had never been abroad. In later life he admitted that he had been abroad once and that was to the Somme, France in the summer of 1916.

"I did not like it very much" was his observation.

[Barksdale Boy]

Beags, he of whom you have spoken many times in fact pitched his tent on base on the grass between the two wings of the Offut Inn (of blessed memory).

[taxydual]

Lossie, years ago.

F-111 crew (Lt Col and Major) up to recce Tain Range. Theirs was being be-bombed, or whatever.

I, being 'new boy', joed into hosting team.

After visits etc, we would meet up in the Mess for drinkies and dinner.

Brussel Sprouts on the menu.

Lt Col to me, after tasting one, "Say Taxydoooal, what are these?"

"Erm, rather like small cabbages, Colonel" says I

"Hmm, can we not bomb the Brussel Sprout fields instead" A cracking comment from the Colonel

[Four Types]

Iceland

WRT to Iceland. I was told just prior to my first ever trip to Iceland ( at the tender age of 22) that there was a naked woman behind every tree......As we approached Keflavik I gazed hopefully out of the window.....Not a bl***y tree in sight!!

[1.3VStall]

Some years ago I worked in sales & marketing for an overseas company. They hired in a spam as the new sales & marketing director. On his first visit to the UK we were driving up the M6 on the way to visit an airline at MAN.

Observing a road sign he says to me "What's with this Wales thing - it's part of England, right?". So I explained in simple terms a bit of British history. This prompted the question "So why isn't the Queen of England the Queen of Wales as well?".

So I explained a little more about composition of the United Kingdom and told him that the Queen was indeed monarch of all the consituent parts. This elicted "So why don't you rename it the United Queendom?".

Grrrr!

[diginagain]

Blame the Romans

US Army attached officer and I were wending our way up country after a flying visit to Yeovil. He decided he wanted to talk to the good people at Staverton for some reason. After frowning at the map for a moment, then checking the En-route, he pressed the tit;

"Glow-glou-glouu-gloocherstersheere, er, oh f**k it".

He didn't trouble the airwaves for the remainder of the trip.

[wub]

A loud American voice overheard on the deck of a cruise ship sailing out of Hong Kong:

"Well I have to say, their Chinatown isn't as good as the one in LA"

[Pontius Navigator]

BB, that clinches it so it must have been he.

Up until that time we had enjoyed the hospitality of the O-club and on one extended visit, over 3 weeks IIRC, I had to visit the BOQ to scrounge some shoe polish

After that we stayed in these flee-pit apartments across the expressway.

[Ogre]

I was recently asked by a very nice Australian government employee to explain a comment I had made on some official paperwork. I explained that I had served in the Royal Air Force, to which I got the reply "which Royal Air Force?" With more than a little pride in my voice I replied "There is only one RAF", thinking that was the end of it. "Ah yes," she replied, " but many countries have royal families, and each of them has a 'Royal' air force". "Correct", I countered, "but they also have the country name in the title, such as Royal Canadian, or Royal Norwegian, or in your case Royal Australian....".
The next response was "Well how are we supposed to know which it is", admittedly in a very pleasant but weary tone, so I took the piece of paper back and added "UK"

[D-IFF_ident]

Before leaving an exchange post in the USA some years ago, I dictated my forwarding address to the helpful lady at the local bank.

I suspect my statements are still being delivered to 'RAF Brize Norton in the Ukraine'.

[Capetonian]

Crossing the border from South Africa into the then 'independent' homeland of the Transkei, the Transkei border official carefully transcribed the details of my passport (I was travelling on a UK passport) into their book, which ironically was a 'Bantu Population Register'. After painstakingly slowly and neatly writing 'United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland' he asked me what country it was. I pointed to what he'd written and said that was the country. He looked it for 5 minutes and then said : "Your country is Ireland."

I just agreed. Later I found out that the Irish needed visas for the Transkei in those days!

[airborne_artist]

A young and keen Midshipman A_A had made his way to to top of the Rock on a day when there was also a cruise ship berthed in the harbour below.

An American couple in their sixties wheezed into view and took in the scene. Facing South, Ethel turned to Elmer and said:

"Gee Elmer, what's that big island over there?"

[Brain Potter]

Yep, we sure are an ignorant people. One has to wonder how we have survived all these years without the expert guidance from our UK brethren, especially in military matters. Thanks for letting me listen in to this enlightened discussion as I have learned much about folks from your part of the world.

Bevo,

You have to understand that, over the last 100 years, we British have seen our national wealth, military power and political influence eroded to nothing. All that we have left is our superiority complex.

In the words of Peter Cook, impersonating Prime Minister Harold Macmillan recounting a summit meeting with President Kennedy:

"We talked of many things, including Great Britain's position in the world as some kind of honest broker. I agreed with him when he said no nation could be more honest, and he agreed with me when I chaffed him and said no nation could be broker."

I urge you to embrace the British characteristic of laughing at ourselves. After all, you are missing-out on such terribly good material.

[Pitts2112]

Standing at the counter in an American shop, having just moved back to my native land after a brief stint living in Brazil. As I was paying for my items with cash, a Brazilian 20 Real note fell out of my wallet onto the counter.

Clerk: "Oh, what kind of money is that?"
Me: "That's 20 Reals, from Brazil."
Clerk: "Oh, they haven't joined the Euro, then?"

Actually, I was surprised she knew about the Euro.

Another one told to me by a British secretary at RAF Mildenhall when I was there, mid-90s. She and a few of the other ladies of the squadron took an NCO's wife out shopping in Bury St. Edmunds on the woman's last weekend of a four year tour. It was the farthest she had ever been away from the base and the only time she'd ever been shopping off base. In FOUR years!!! (For those without local knowledge, Bury is about 15 miles from the base. London is only an hour away)

[RedhillPhil]

Dunno if this is self-deprecating similar but..yesterday driving south from Liverpule as I approached one of those mobile matrix signs that sprout up next to motorways from time to time I remarked to my passenger that to put up a sign that states " M6 toll smiles" seemed a bit peculiar. It was, until he pointed out that it actually said M6 toll 5 miles.
Note to self, Specsavers on Monday!

[Bevo]

Brain Potter
I urge you to embrace the British characteristic of laughing at ourselves. After all, you are missing-out on such terribly good material.

Brian,

I’m sure you are correct although I haven’t seen much laughing at yourselves in these threads. Probably just a reaction to me having always been sensitive to not being perceived as an “ugly American”.

In May the wife and I toured Ireland for a couple of weeks. I can see from our visit to Northern Ireland how the English persona might be perceived differently there. We then spent a week visiting my wife’s family in East Anglia and stayed with friends (a retired dentist) living in Bury St Edmunds. Had lots of interesting discussions with the dentist friend on the state of the UK.

Of course I tend to wonder about the term “United” in United Kingdom as evidenced by my tour of Ireland and then I ponder the view of the Scottish when I read this thread.:

http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...and-match.html

[phil9560]

bevo rest assured I find much to laugh at in both my countrymen and myself !