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Appointments in the Telegraph

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Old 25th Jan 2010, 16:28
  #41 (permalink)  
 
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A pink crab - amazing!

Now be a good chap or I'll take your ipod away and force you to eat pizza with a fat bird.

Come to think of it, being held by a bunch of iranian soldiers must be a dream fro a matelot - no wonder they were so quick to surrender and hand over their 'weapons'.

Still, when the carriers are binned you can always get a job in the city - outside Kings Cross?
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Old 25th Jan 2010, 18:36
  #42 (permalink)  

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ShyTorque
This is not meant to be a history lesson
But you started it.

I'm a bit worried that you know so much about crabs and gays..
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Old 25th Jan 2010, 21:28
  #43 (permalink)  
 
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ShyTorque

I'm a bit worried that you know so much about crabs and gays..
I have served with many crabs - most of them, after a little couthing up, have been great fun.

My knowledge of "gays" - such a lovely word taken over by the unlovely - has come mostly from your pink crab compatriot Tiny Todger Diplomat. I have bought a ticket to Kings Cross in the hope of a free drink as I have heard that they are very generous and perhaps TTD is lurking in a nearby fountain clutching a MacVities cash card?

I think also the TTD may actually be a hermit crab as he seems reluctant to "come out" when the finger of fate is tickling his fancy...........
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Old 25th Jan 2010, 22:40
  #44 (permalink)  
 
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Baston,

I must apologise for leading you on, but I'm not in the Navy at all! I am in the RAF and therefore I will not be meeting you at Kings Cross. I am merely passing on a few crewroom whispers from our navy exchange chums, who sometimes do a bit of flying when they tire of their Village people costumes.

Just to lay all my cards on the table, in this seasonal display of honesty, I must confess that my todger is far from tiny, and I am not actually a diplomat or diplomatic in any shape, manner or form. Please keep your peverse fantasies within RN circles, if you must practice your service 'traditions' of constant manlove, ipod weeping and generally 'dripping' about how much everyone else is 'dripping' .

Without the complications of such inhibitive tradition, the RAF can then go about it's primary role of providing aircraft, tapping wenches and getting on with life without the need for constant referrals to other branches of the military as 'crabs'. We dropped the pongo banter about 15 years ago, accepting the future lay in shared infrastructure.

As noone actually wants your infrastructure, including the government it would seem, I can understand how this problem may arise. If it makes you feel loved, wanted or even relevant then feel free to refer to us as crabs.

All better now?
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Old 26th Jan 2010, 07:38
  #45 (permalink)  
 
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TTD

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!

You did not like the pictures then?

I must apologise for leading you on, but I'm not in the Navy at all! I am in the RAF
I do like that!! To think that anyone would think from your writings that you were in the Royal Navy is marvellous. Delusions of grandeur creeping in here!Pink Crab perhaps - but it is legal you know.................so don't worry

Last edited by bast0n; 26th Jan 2010 at 07:53.
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Old 26th Jan 2010, 11:19
  #46 (permalink)  
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For the benefit of all our Pongo and Matelot wimpish mates, this is a real crab. Easily recognised by its light blue exo-skeleton and the ability to crack anything that comes its way.

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Old 26th Jan 2010, 12:19
  #47 (permalink)  

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Since that date, RAF wings have not been presented until after AFTS.
Cept for Billy the Fish, whose previous wings' "of course they count" status was studiously ignored last week when the lad got a second set... and a Chicken Suit from the RNZAF.
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Old 26th Jan 2010, 13:33
  #48 (permalink)  
 
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Blacksheep.

Easily recognised by its attempt to hump some hairy nuts...
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Old 26th Jan 2010, 15:40
  #49 (permalink)  
 
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40 all

New Balls Please
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Old 26th Jan 2010, 18:15
  #50 (permalink)  
 
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Blacksheep

Brilliant nut cracker - but I think it is a lobster.............!

or it could be a butterfly as it seems to have wings on it's back............Oh no, here we go again.......................
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Old 27th Jan 2010, 20:59
  #51 (permalink)  
 
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BastOn

I apologise if I'm spoiling your fun but, if you are wondering why MGD has gone silent and hasn't responded to your latest bait, it's probably because the light blue "powers-that-be" have tracked him down and - shock horror! -gently told him that, yes, what was once described as "the love that dare not speak its name" is alive and well in the light blue and, according to proud2serve :: Royal Air Force :: Home, has apparently been positively encouraged for quite some time .....

On that basis alone, it's high time that his puerile and repetitious snide remarks about another Service ceased and, with any luck, were replaced by perfectly acceptable inter-Service banter.

Jack
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Old 27th Jan 2010, 21:13
  #52 (permalink)  
 
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Baston seems to recognise banter UJ, he can also return some. You, however, seem to be one of those people who don't mind taking a swipe at other services, but don't like it back.

On that basis alone, it's high time that his puerile and repetitious snide remarks about another Service ceased and, with any luck, were replaced by perfectly acceptable inter-Service banter.
Please go and do something nautical, tie a knot or feed the parrot and let Baston do the banter. Theres a good chap!
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Old 27th Jan 2010, 23:56
  #53 (permalink)  
 
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Oh dear, Minigonads, you sadly seem to have missed the point, as you have so often done before. If you took the trouble to do your staffwork properly, you would have discovered that I do indulge in banter, but without the need to indulge, as you do, in what are, quite frankly, cheap and nasty remarks "taking a swipe" at another Service. However, I have to say that your response is a vast improvement on some of your other posts, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt this time in the belief that it means that you actually have got the message.

Knot tied, parrot fed, and I'll be delighted to let Bast0n carry on producing his splendid montages while I carry on defending the dark blue by other means.

Jack
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Old 28th Jan 2010, 10:38
  #54 (permalink)  
 
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UJ and Minigonads

A bit of thread creep here but with all the talk of not being able to afford the Red Arrows in the future I thought that in the interests of inter service co-operation and brotherly love,(pun intended), I show a possible solution below.

WELCOME TO THE BLUE CRABS FORMATION TEAM...................




PS am working on the smoke.....................

Last edited by bast0n; 28th Jan 2010 at 11:37. Reason: Sharpen up the formation!
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Old 28th Jan 2010, 19:41
  #55 (permalink)  
 
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Surely in todays PC climate there is some rule against making rare blue crabs smoke. I wouldnt leave yourself open to legal action.......
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Old 28th Jan 2010, 20:18
  #56 (permalink)  
 
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Surely in today's PC climate there is some rule against making rare blue crabs smoke ....?

.... but presumably OK if it's as in "Do you smoke after intercourse?" "I don't know - I've never looked!"

Jack
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