Baston,
I must apologise for leading you on, but I'm not in the Navy at all! I am in the RAF and therefore I will not be meeting you at Kings Cross. I am merely passing on a few crewroom whispers from our navy exchange chums, who sometimes do a bit of flying when they tire of their Village people costumes.
Just to lay all my cards on the table, in this seasonal display of honesty, I must confess that my todger is far from tiny, and I am not actually a diplomat or diplomatic in any shape, manner or form. Please keep your peverse fantasies within RN circles, if you must practice your service 'traditions' of constant manlove, ipod weeping and generally 'dripping' about how much everyone else is 'dripping' .
Without the complications of such inhibitive tradition, the RAF can then go about it's primary role of providing aircraft, tapping wenches and getting on with life without the need for constant referrals to other branches of the military as 'crabs'. We dropped the pongo banter about 15 years ago, accepting the future lay in shared infrastructure.
As noone actually wants your infrastructure, including the government it would seem, I can understand how this problem may arise. If it makes you feel loved, wanted or even relevant then feel free to refer to us as crabs.
All better now?