Annual Assessments - Character Assassination Gems
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Taking over.
If I may just hijack this thread and lob in a civilian one?
A few years ago when leaving a job to head overseas I was given a written 'to whom it may concern' type reference. Buried in the third para was the phrase "During his time with the company Flintstone carried out his duties entirely to his satisfaction....".
I was dead chuffed.
Handing over.....
If I may just hijack this thread and lob in a civilian one?
A few years ago when leaving a job to head overseas I was given a written 'to whom it may concern' type reference. Buried in the third para was the phrase "During his time with the company Flintstone carried out his duties entirely to his satisfaction....".
I was dead chuffed.
Handing over.....
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A selection of what, I am assured, are true quotes:
SAC ***** is a cheerful young man with a pleasant smile and a cooperative manner. At this point his good qualities cease.
Chf Tech ***** is a dedicated fisherman and has the temperament that goes with most of those characters who find a night on a windswept beach a stimulating experience.
His financial problems seem to stem from the fact that he was once a prolific sower of wild oats. He is now finding the harvesting fees rather expensive.
In spite of the fact that his records show to the contrary, he displays no signs of having ever attended an officers’ training school.
When this officer’s IQ reaches 59, he should sell!
The moment of truth for him, however, is in the air, where he becomes alive to his low standards and is rightly frightened by them… and he presumably depends on divine justice to make a pilot of him.
He is very much like a puppy which wants to be loved but only succeeds in upsetting dishes and ruining the furniture.
SAC ***** is a cheerful young man with a pleasant smile and a cooperative manner. At this point his good qualities cease.
Chf Tech ***** is a dedicated fisherman and has the temperament that goes with most of those characters who find a night on a windswept beach a stimulating experience.
His financial problems seem to stem from the fact that he was once a prolific sower of wild oats. He is now finding the harvesting fees rather expensive.
In spite of the fact that his records show to the contrary, he displays no signs of having ever attended an officers’ training school.
When this officer’s IQ reaches 59, he should sell!
The moment of truth for him, however, is in the air, where he becomes alive to his low standards and is rightly frightened by them… and he presumably depends on divine justice to make a pilot of him.
He is very much like a puppy which wants to be loved but only succeeds in upsetting dishes and ruining the furniture.
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Was once blessed with the immortal opening comment post a most "social" junior officer staff course:
"There are two ways to approach this course; ***** has found a third!"
Oh well, more time in the air and less sniffing stationery as a result!!
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Just Lookout and Fly Accurately Bloggs!
[This message has been edited by AllTrimDoubt (edited 25 March 2001).]
"There are two ways to approach this course; ***** has found a third!"
Oh well, more time in the air and less sniffing stationery as a result!!
------------------
Just Lookout and Fly Accurately Bloggs!
[This message has been edited by AllTrimDoubt (edited 25 March 2001).]
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"It would be fair to say that SS is a funny man. Indeed, he has the wit and comic timing that any stand-up comedian would be proud of. Unfortunately, being a comedian doesn't necessarily make one a good co-pilot..."
Thanks for that Boss.
And, once again, now you know who I am....
Thanks for that Boss.
And, once again, now you know who I am....
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At one time RN officers were permitted to petition the Board of Admiralty regarding promotion. It is reported that that one officer wrote:
"In every promotion list there is one officer of whom all know him remark " How on earth did he make it!" Your Lordships, I should like to be that officer"
"In every promotion list there is one officer of whom all know him remark " How on earth did he make it!" Your Lordships, I should like to be that officer"
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Readers of this thread are commended to "In Confidence", a tri-Service guide to staff reporting by Cdr Rick Jolly. Some 600 collected ACR comments, available from Maritime Books, Liskeard PL14 4EL, tel 01579 343663 for £9.95. All royalties to the South Atlantic Medal Association - I have no connection, other than admiration.
Random sample:
The Base Supply Officer is ably supported by his wife who is a great exponent of the appealing art of decolletage.
The Chief Clerk is the sort of man who, if he murdered his parents, would ask for mercy oin the grounds that he had recently become an orphan.
A suitable motto for this young lady officer's behaviour would be - "to err is human but it feels divine ..."
Random sample:
The Base Supply Officer is ably supported by his wife who is a great exponent of the appealing art of decolletage.
The Chief Clerk is the sort of man who, if he murdered his parents, would ask for mercy oin the grounds that he had recently become an orphan.
A suitable motto for this young lady officer's behaviour would be - "to err is human but it feels divine ..."
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A few years ago, my first reporting officer, who was new to the game, left a note in my mail slot asking me to write a pen picture of myself to save himself some time, and effort no doubt. I duly complied with: "Sgt ****** is a 6' stallion of a man whose physical prowess is only matched by his outstanding intellectual capabilities". To my surprise, everyone's amusement and my second reporting officer's fury, he put it in my annual report as it was but edited out the word stallion because it sounded "too horsey". I swear that this is true!
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"When this officer was born, they threw the best bit away"
"Bloggs is depriving a village of its idiot"
"To say that Bloggs' (a Flt Lt) would make a good Corporal, is insulting to the NCO cadre."
"--- has the enthusiasm and boundless energy of a puppy dog, which is unfortunate considering the serious nature of his post."
"Bloggs is depriving a village of its idiot"
"To say that Bloggs' (a Flt Lt) would make a good Corporal, is insulting to the NCO cadre."
"--- has the enthusiasm and boundless energy of a puppy dog, which is unfortunate considering the serious nature of his post."