10 Seconds to Entertain

[muppetofthenorth]

Somewhat short notice, but I have a mess function this weekend and have been informed by the PMC that all guests are required to "say something about themselves for 10 seconds".

I'm drawing a complete blank, any ideas?

Is reciting a couple of one-liners mickey taking either me or someone else present enough?

[harrogate]

You should say EXACTLY what you just typed.

[Mr_Hippo]

"I have been asked to say a few short words -a, the, and, so, if, but, why, thanks"

[WASALOADIE]

Stand up - tell the audience that "you've got to talk for as long as the PMC makes love for" and then say "Thank You" and sit down again.

[6Z3]

Stand up and say: "PMC asked me to keep it short and clean, and certainly no longer than his. So I dangled it under the cold tap during ease springs" Then sit down.

[TheStrawMan]

If you were SAS you could say;
"My wife keeps complaining I am in and out without her noticing"

[Pontius Navigator]

Originally Posted by TheStrawMan

If you were SAS you could say;
"My wife keeps complaining I am in and out without her noticing"

A touch not lost.

A dear friend, ex-Jolly, 83, snuck up, blew down daughters neck (58), kissed mother (82) and departed before they realised what had happened.

[Chimp Boy]

You could recite the complete unabridged history of the RAF

[rodthesod]

I'm drawing a complete blank, any ideas?

Just tell them all you know.

[buoy15]

I suspect you may be Geordie or Liverpuddlian - which means, on average, it takes 10 secs to decypher every word - if you merely stand up, you should be ok!

[muppetofthenorth]

Yorkshire, actually.

So, close.



Thanks to those who've replied, some moreso than others...

[Strictly Jungly]

"You could recite the complete unabridged history of the RAF"

[TorqueOfTheDevil]

Is reciting a couple of one-liners mickey taking either me or someone else present enough?

Sorry, can't do that any more. Might be conceived as Harassment or Bullying or Ritual Humiliation. Against the RAF's Jobs for Wetpants policy, don't you know.

Then again, if you took the mickey out of yourself, then initiated a lawsuit for bullying (against yourself), and having been found guilty you could sue the MOD for creating a Corporate atmosphere (long ago, back when we joined) where humour and fun were once considered acceptable, which you were still scarred by when you made your crass and cruel remarks. You'd be set up for life