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Jaguar handling

Old 21st Jun 2007, 07:49
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Newt!

Thanks a lot! Your last post has blown my cover; what is it about Lightning pilots and keeping good lookout or cover?! Even JP will work it out now; assuming, of course, that he has got his ISP sorted!! He is doubtless a QITI (Qualified IT Instructor) too! Watching all of his bits and not exceeding his megabit limits!

F.f.f.f.farnz:

Good to hear from you; it's been a lifetime! I am sure that PPruners will be delighted to hear some Wing Nut stories from your end of the telescope; as, indeed, they will about Lightning night-landing techniques!


It occurred to me that Wing Nut could well be observing all of this banter going to and fro; maybe he is already contributing! Perhaps a scan of the PPrune subscriber list might be in order to find his likely call sign/user name. I guess that we would be looking for cunningly disguised identities such as:
  • 'Hello Dear, I'm Richard' (used in excess by him on Med beaches!)
  • 'Rub on the sun tan oil' (also used frequently in the Med!)
  • 'Wots the time?'
  • 'Wot Day is it?'
  • Where are the flight commanders?'
  • 'Where is my squadron?'
  • 'Programme Change!'
  • 'I can't hold this flight level' (from his infamous transit to Deci; an event that changed French ATC philosophy forever: they gave up trying to control RAF fast-jet pilots!)
  • 'Jever Calling'
  • 'Point me at Gonzo'
  • 'Who's round is it?'
  • 'Taxy Ace'
  • 'Why do they call me Basil?'
But wait! What am I thinking about? Wing Nut surfing the www?! If he could, he would be trying to change all of the programmes!! No, he cannot be out there in the ether; he had enough trouble in the late '70s trying to get his '50s radiogram to work at his always memorable, and rather dry, dinner parties! Those events had something of the gourmet evening episode of Fawlty Towers about them; and Newt played a very good Major Gowan!

I warm to JP's idea that this thread opens up on Gonzo too; never was there a man so deserving of some crucial top level banter! Mind you, they are unlikley to be very funny stories; I recall that life was generally miserable in his orbit! Whatever else one says about Wing Nut, and there is much to say, he and his antics had us laughing heartily most of the time; and we still are! In that sense, No 31 Sqn was a very happy outfit in those days.

Despite Newt's reservations, I also like the idea, especially given the timing (farewell bash next week), of opening a 'Jaguar Banter' thread. I suspect that a lot of folks will be missing these recent exchanges because a subject entitled 'Jaguar Handling' is unlikely to attract many potential contributers! Can the 'banter' elements of this thread be transferred to a new one to get it going? But being a mere 'probationer', I shall leave the more experienced PPruners to provide guidance on this matter!
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 09:46
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Retired 2-Star (really? )

Given that your jolly banter seems largely to involve three of you having a giggly time at the expense of one individual, I'd be tempted to give it a rest. Amusing and anecdotal stories about the Force at large would be far more entertaining, and deserving of the jet, for us all - Vulcan and Buccaneer being good examples. Bore yourselves with WingNut stories at your re-union. Sorry Newt - give me a hard time at the Blitz if you wish.
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 11:19
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OK Phanjimbohar,

What I didn't tell you is that when I met VRB at Wentworth we exchanged 'phone numbers. Now I'm going to alert him to the existence of this site and even recommend a handle name to him. Anyone know where Gonzo is?

Now it should get interesting.....

By the way I'm not an IT consultant, simply a technical author and graphics illustrator. If you look at the CAA website for CAPs 696, 697, 698 and 758 for instance, you will now know who drew all the performance, flight planning and mass & balance charts.

On www.lighningpilots.com I did all the original squadron markings etc.
Seems to me that you have visited that site to find out who I am.

jindabyne,

watch pjth's face after a few beers and you will see why he's 2 star - there will be one in each eye!

Standby for new banter thread.

JP

Last edited by Jaguar Pilot; 21st Jun 2007 at 11:30.
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 14:07
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JP:

Gonzo died a few years ago; in a road accident, I recall. I wonder if he can log-in from the other side?!

The QITI line was meant to be a joke, honest! I know that you are not an IT consultant! But I did not know that you had so many caps!

If there is to be a new thread, is there any way of preventing pompous codgers like Jindabyne from viewing it?!


Jindabyne:

Yes, really! But what's that got to do with anything?!

Do allow me to offer you a really simple solution that will put you out of your obvious misery and, better still, keep you out of our giggly lives. If you don't like it, then don't read it; and go find someone else to chastise! What, I wonder, brings a former member, seemingly, of the Vulcan/Buccaneer fraternity to a thread entitled 'Jaguar Handling'? Must be that life in Lancashire these days is without entertainment or excitement! Or maybe you were simply looking to practice some on-line crucial top level hero worship!!

And I am thinking that, quite possibly, you are not usually the life and soul of the 'Blitz'!! Enjoy the next one Newt, you lucky chap!

Last edited by Phanjagthunhar; 21st Jun 2007 at 16:31.
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 14:36
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Cool

Jindabyne
I expect nothing less at the Bucc Blitz but as I am now retired and hard up living in Scotland I dont think I will be attending in the furture. Mind you , if you dont like the banter then do feel free to start your own thread! Maybe a few navigator jokes would give us all a laugh!
And JP do feel free to give the man a ring. It would be entertainig to see what he has to say! Maybe he still has a few anecdotes about the Squadron which we have all long forgotten!
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 15:55
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Phanjimbohur,

"I warm to JP's idea that this thread opens up on Gonzo too"

After the news which you have posted this would now be bad form in my humble opinion. Never liked the man, and I am not alone, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

....and I don't have any caps - I have only written some.....but your sense of humour and wit is truly asshonishing.

Newt,

Good shast lout!

JP
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 16:57
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JP:

Have you been drinking again (asshonishing and shast lout!)?! Yes, I remember demolishing the odd glass or 10 of good malt with you at Lossie!

So, are you saying that this hopelessly PC world of ours now precludes us talking about the deceased, in good or bad terms? Or are we only allowed to talk of the good things that they did or said?! If so, there will be very few stories in the case of that particular individual! Oops, have I transgressed the line already?! Well, don't confuse me with someome who gives a damn; we are all fair game, above or below the ground!

Newt:

I always thought you were misplaced at the 'Blitz'; glad we have finally got you back! Seems, therefore, that you will not have to endure a telling off from Uncle Jindabyne! You clearly think he is a navigator; can I resist the banter temptation?! Yes! Save to say that the phrase 'navigator jokes' is a reverse oxymoron!
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 17:16
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Phanjimbohur,

I'm not PC. I did say "in my humble opinion".

As for the malts, it's the only descent thing the Scots have ever given us, and I seem to remember that I drank the stuff and you merely managed to demolish the glasses. I don't drink so much these days - I spill 75% of it.

WTFO "Blitz" please?

JP
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 20:43
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This so-called 2-star ---

' Or maybe you were simply looking to practice some on-line crucial top
level hero worship!! '

Crikey - what a pri*ik

Newt - you know what the Blitz is - tell 'em. And don't be rude, or I we'll ban you! Sorry, not Nav -so what - better that than a mere Sim instructor. And as for that hair on your chin -----

Last edited by jindabyne; 21st Jun 2007 at 21:31.
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 23:02
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JP, My spelling was never that good either or do you like leaving out the odd letter.

Last edited by Farns744; 22nd Jun 2007 at 00:11.
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 07:18
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Oops.

Blimey mate, you're up late aren't you?

JP
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 07:21
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Farnz:

Given the timing, did you write this from a flight deck as you roared across the Himalayas? Or is it that you cannot sleep at night?!
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 07:54
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Jindabyne:

As I said previously, what has rank, or former rank, got to do with anything; or is that one of your personal hang-ups?!

I cannot find a word with the spelling 'pri*ik', whatever letter the asterisk might represent, in the diary. Perhaps it's a Serbo-Croat word! Or maybe it's simply that we should add orthographically challenged to the list of your obvious 'attributes'! And judging by 'or I we'll ban you', perhaps we should add grammatically challenged too! But, I know, you are going to plead finger trouble. OK! Digitally challenged as well!

You clearly have something of a hang-up about simulator instructors too. Indeed, one detects a hint of superiority in your comment, navigator or not! I have no doubt that Newt will have a suitable retort. All I shall say is that I prefer, by an infinite margin, the company of an ex-Lightning and ex-Jaguar pilot, who had the misfortune to spend a few months on the Buccaneer simulator, to a sad ex-Vulcan, ex-Buccaneer pilot, presumably, like you!
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 11:11
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Jindabyne

Woops!!!!

I guess I upset you with the mention of Naafi Getters!!! Did not mean to imply that you were and only thought you might like to start a new thread with a few stories about them as you obviously flew the Bucc! That would save you having to read about our jolly japes with Fivestar.

For JPs enlightenment, the Blitz is the annual Bucc Pilots get together in London.

There, is that rude enough to get me "BANNED" or should I say more!!
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 12:14
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newt

-look forward to having a few jars again in Dec mate!

Phanthing

Very sorry, too much loopy juice on my part I'm afraid. But you're quite right, I meant to say pri*k; an overly verbose and humourless one at that. And I presume you meant to say dictionary, not diary. Pri*k! Must identify you and see if you're in my logbook - just to validate my assessment. As for rank, I agree - that's why, unlike your pretentious self, I don't mention it in my own profile.

Out of PC contact for next few days. Bye.
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 12:35
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JP, I didn't think I was up late but that you up early. BTW the missing letter is "c".

PJTH, At that computer again before 8.30. Perhaps you can't sleep either. My excuse is I'm the other side of the pond. I suppose all those desk jobs could be yours!!
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Old 22nd Jun 2007, 13:39
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Jindabyne:

We can only hope that you remain out of PC contact for the next few years; a lifetime even!

There, is that succinct and humorous enough for you?!

Bon voyage!
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