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Why Nobody Likes RAF Police

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Why Nobody Likes RAF Police

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Old 20th Jul 2006, 20:23
  #281 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by TwoBoats
Barrier up - barrier down

"Oh sorry sir, did the barrier hit the bonnet of your car whilst you demanded I salute you

Tops - you deserve it you pr**k.

Now f**k off and stop bothering my Cpls

Certainly Mr P******, says Plt Off Knob, I seem to remember them saying anything else.

No F**k little boy and come back when you have some time in, and then I will still chew your arse!!!!!! and did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ahhh the beauty of being a RAFP WO - wonderful and memorable - want some more stories? Got loads and loads !!! However, be careful, open Pandora's Bix and you may regret what you have done and what you get ......


Up to the normal standard then. Is the RN the only Service which requires Warrant Officers to have at least a tenuous grasp of the english language?

Then again, we employ our guys on slightly more demanding tasks than supervising knob-jockey barrier operators!
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Old 20th Jul 2006, 22:35
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Hmmmmmmmmm
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Old 21st Jul 2006, 01:09
  #283 (permalink)  
 
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RAFP - A Joke?

Young blonde lady driving around base is trapped by a scuffer doing 22 in a 20 limit (we've all been there?) Upon reaching the vehicle the young (almost certainly acting) corporal demands "Can I see your pass please madam?".

Being a visitor and rather unsure, not to mention blonde (incoming banter) she rumages around her purse. "come on miss" hustles the 'copper', "It'ss be about the size of a credit card and have your photo on it. Said blonde female remembers seeing something similar and fishes out her makeup mirror. Checking that it is indeed her "photo" on it, she hands it to the copper.

Scuffer sighs and says, "look I'm sorry Ma'am, if I'd have known you were RAF police I wouldn't have stopped you".

Well, it could be true!
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Old 21st Jul 2006, 08:47
  #284 (permalink)  
 
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Pompey
Up to the normal standard then. Is the RN the only Service which requires Warrant Officers to have at least a tenuous grasp of the english language?
Would that be the 'English language' perhaps? I guess you're not an RN WO.
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Old 21st Jul 2006, 09:47
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Originally Posted by It's Not Working
Pompey

Would that be the 'English language' perhaps? I guess you're not an RN WO.
Spot on. Which means that you can't possibly be an RAFP WO!
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Old 21st Jul 2006, 11:49
  #286 (permalink)  
 
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Go on TwoBoats Please please give us some more of your toptastic stories. I bet if you were a RAFP WO you must have loads.
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Old 21st Jul 2006, 21:08
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Ah two boats. It sounds very much like you're chucking your dolly out of the pram again!! Chill out; tell us all of your stories about us undesireables who only joined up to break the law!

Unlike you, most of us in here don't bite when a little bit of the brown and smelly is thrown their way. But the best thing is that every time you bite the thread bangs back to the front page.

Keep up the good work mate. Sorry, Mr Warrant Officer Plod Sir!!
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 03:19
  #288 (permalink)  
 
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Vegetables don't fight back,though Brussell Sprouts can be vicious little buggers, so it's quite alright to skin them and eat them alive. Some people have long conversations with vegetables, but that's not recommended if you want to get into the RAF.
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 08:37
  #289 (permalink)  
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samuraimatt,

"Also, in basic training, are RAF Recruites required to kill, skin and eat an animal? I am not a vegetarian but the killing and skinning of something that cannot fight back is against my ethics, again the RAF are reluctant to tell me anything so I hope someone here can help."

Are you serious ???

Man up wet pants!!!!! May be it should be the womens auxillary balloon corps for you

HA HA
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 09:52
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Originally Posted by R 21
samuraimatt,

"Also, in basic training, are RAF Recruites required to kill, skin and eat an animal? I am not a vegetarian but the killing and skinning of something that cannot fight back is against my ethics, again the RAF are reluctant to tell me anything so I hope someone here can help."

Are you serious ???

Man up wet pants!!!!! May be it should be the womens auxillary balloon corps for you

HA HA
I think R 21 old boy, that you may have been had. Surely, nobody is that namby pamby - surely

Perfect for the RAFP though
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 10:19
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There's nothing cushy about life in the Womens Auxiliary Balloon Corps

ethics - now that's the problem, I'd suggest if you have any you're not suited for a life in the RAFP
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 10:20
  #292 (permalink)  
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Balloon goes up, balloon goes down, balloon goes .....
 
Old 22nd Jul 2006, 15:54
  #293 (permalink)  
 
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Sam - the only animals they'll teach you to deal with will be drunken Rockapes outside the electric wrestling in the NAAFI on a Friday night.

Seriously though - they don't go that far and I'm sure you'll make a good Snowdrop - just toughen up a bit and if perchance they ask you to do something you don't like, just do it and worry about it later.

Good luck.
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 19:18
  #294 (permalink)  
 
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I love the world we live in . We all have our priorities right eh! So the killing and skinning of a bunny to feed yourself on a survival training excercise is against your ethics, but hey as a race, there are no ethics when it comes to the slaughter of Lebanese, and Isreali civilian women and children, who can't fight back either. My Mrs always used to get upset when the horse got shot in a cowboy and indian movie?? The women and kids in the middle east are currently far more helpless and dare i say valuable than the rabbit. I still hate policemen!!
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 19:33
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Hi Sam,

Don't be put off by the idiotic replies!

Of course the RAFP will teach you to kill people, such as terrorists for example. One ex RAFP Mr *** ********* living in ********** did shoot a terrorist dead, absolutely stone dead! whilst serving in ******
His dog detected the terrorist's presence, who was about to kill a number of soldiers who were operating nearby. It was at night and very dark at the time. Damned fine piece of 'teamwork-man/dog'.

Obviously the very young and inexperienced acting corporal had been well trained and was able to conduct himself accordingly. He retired as a WO.
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 22:17
  #296 (permalink)  
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And i bet ex WO *************** of ************** had lots of daring stories whilst serving in ************ and ************* and of course dont forget when he was serving in ************* where he met his wife ********* who turned out to be the daughter of *********** MP and of course he had a huge sending off from his last posting RAF**************
Well done from us all here at RAF ******************
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 22:20
  #297 (permalink)  

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RAF ******************?
Isn't that where the RAFP ****** themselves because ****** and ****** of the ******* went ******* with a large mango and ***** the ******* on the barrier? ******** to them all I say, ****** the lot of them
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 22:46
  #298 (permalink)  
 
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You've missed the point. Stillagoodguy meant to elaborate. The DOG ended up as a WO, the A/CPL ended his days doing barrier up......

Not only will the RAFP "teach you to kill people", any branch of any Armed Service will teach you to handle a weapon so that you know which end goes "bang". Although some people will still get it wrong, just to be awkward.
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 23:21
  #299 (permalink)  
 
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This made me chuckle recently.
A mate of mine on the married patch had cause to pop over to his neighbour’s house. The neighbour’s dog had been barking for quite a while and my mate was trying to get his young daughter to sleep. So, in civvies, he goes up to said neighbours house and rings the bell. Neighbour answers the door.
Mate: Hi there, I’m from across the road.
Neighbour: Hello
Mate: Can you do me a favour please, I’m trying to get my young daughter to sleep and your dog is keeping her awake. Any chance you could keep it quiet please?
Neighbour: Do you know who I am??
Mate: No
Neighbour: I’m Cpl ******, RAF Police!
Mate: Err, and?
Neighbour: I’m Cpl ******, RAF Police! (getting quite irate by all accounts)
Mate: Really? Err do you know who I am?
Neighbour: No
Mate: SSgt *******, I’ll see your boss on Monday. Tit.
Classic. Now, if the copper had been a WO, he might have had a vague chance of outranking someone. Still wouldn’t excuse him being an utter throbber though.



As an aside but directly connected to the thread. Anyone know the story behind this picture?
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Old 22nd Jul 2006, 23:27
  #300 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wg13_dummy
h.
As an aside but directly connected to the thread. Anyone know the story behind this picture?
Yes. A silver Rover 200 was being driven along a road when its driver crashed it.
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