No room for Characters nowadays?
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No room for Characters nowadays?
First toe in the water after years of silent observing and amusement......
What with all the kerfuffle about JPA, dets-rather-than-postings, and (heaven forfend) a thread about washing service vehicles, as well as lots of good serious stuff, it seems to me that there is precious little room for "Service Characters" anymore.
Is everyone (relatively) so cloned these days that we are becoming like the spams and having to do everything by the book? Where are the characters who, by standing out from the normal, made service life....er......well, better?
Like the Seletar mate referred to elsewhere who hitched an F4 ride over Laos, the Britannia mate filing multiple flight plans so the boss wouldn't task him?
What with all the kerfuffle about JPA, dets-rather-than-postings, and (heaven forfend) a thread about washing service vehicles, as well as lots of good serious stuff, it seems to me that there is precious little room for "Service Characters" anymore.
Is everyone (relatively) so cloned these days that we are becoming like the spams and having to do everything by the book? Where are the characters who, by standing out from the normal, made service life....er......well, better?
Like the Seletar mate referred to elsewhere who hitched an F4 ride over Laos, the Britannia mate filing multiple flight plans so the boss wouldn't task him?
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Or the Buccaneer mate (now sadly departed) who applied for the C Promotion exam each year but never sat it because it guaranteed him a day off without the Boss ever wondering where he was!
The youngsters coming through today are just different. Not better or worse, just different. The RAF is a stepping stone to another career, the messes are places to stay in the week. H&S permiates into everything and they come from a culture that discourages risk taking and looks to apportion blame when things go wrong. PCness means you have to watch what you say and where you say it. Everything is 'regulated' to the nth degree and people are overworked and stressed out.
Individualism is frowned upon, to some extent, because we all need to be 'Team Players'
Consequently, people keep their heads down, crack on with the job with one eye on the door marked 'Exit'.
There are still lots of good guys and gals around though but it certainly ain't what it used to be.
Individualism is frowned upon, to some extent, because we all need to be 'Team Players'
Consequently, people keep their heads down, crack on with the job with one eye on the door marked 'Exit'.
There are still lots of good guys and gals around though but it certainly ain't what it used to be.
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Couldn't agree more. There is seemingly, sadly, little room for characters and individualism in today's contracting and contractualised air force.
Quote :"little room for characters and individualism in today's contracting and contractualised air force."
So, what IS Lex Brown doing these days?
CG
So, what IS Lex Brown doing these days?
CG
CG - last I heard (from an article in the Telegraph) is he is a millionaire (made his dosh in the 'air transportation business'!) and was about to restore a Scottish castle. Looked great in a kilt and his nose is no smaller!
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Characters
I remember hearing a few tales, from my old mate "Ballex", about the famous Fg Off Walter Watts who served on an F4 unit, in Scotland in the 70's, commanded by the legendary Wg Cdr Harry Drew. Forgive my declining memory if I get some of the facts wrong. However, in essence, Walter and his Nav (might have been Ballex, I'm not sure) are sent down to Valley for MPC; Walter decides that it might be a good thing to show these Training Command mates what the front line can do and so "arrives" very low and pushing Mach 1 somewhat!. Breaks into the circuit, lands and whilst taxying into the MPC dispersal he spots a staff car (with a pennant) parked next to his parking slot. "I wonder if the Stn Cdr meets all visiting aircrew" says Walter to his backseater, warming to the thoughts of things to come in NW Wales. He receives a memorable roasting from OC Valley and is told that he is being sent home forthwith! Stn Cdr Valley phones Harry and tells him of the decision. "Don't you F**&^%g well send him back here, I've only just got rid of him for two weeks and we've got an AOCs next week." There are loads more stories about Walter perhaps someone out there, with a better memory, can write in.
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Originally Posted by oldbeefer
CG - last I heard (from an article in the Telegraph) is he is a millionaire (made his dosh in the 'air transportation business'!) and was about to restore a Scottish castle. Looked great in a kilt and his nose is no smaller!
Lovely lad, Lex.
NC43
Originally Posted by Wyler
The youngsters coming through today are just different. Not better or worse, just different. The RAF is a stepping stone to another career, the messes are places to stay in the week. H&S permiates into everything and they come from a culture that discourages risk taking and looks to apportion blame when things go wrong. PCness means you have to watch what you say and where you say it. Everything is 'regulated' to the nth degree and people are overworked and stressed out.
Individualism is frowned upon, to some extent, because we all need to be 'Team Players'
Consequently, people keep their heads down, crack on with the job with one eye on the door marked 'Exit'.
Individualism is frowned upon, to some extent, because we all need to be 'Team Players'
Consequently, people keep their heads down, crack on with the job with one eye on the door marked 'Exit'.
Not allowed any fun doing any job these days.......
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Fun....
Despite the attentions of the Morale Suppression Officers,
has anyone beaten the record for the highest live jazz band riff, Ever.
Albert Flight deck,
F250+ over the Omani desert c1976?
er, was anyone ever supposed to know about this?
oops.
Despite the attentions of the Morale Suppression Officers,
has anyone beaten the record for the highest live jazz band riff, Ever.
Albert Flight deck,
F250+ over the Omani desert c1976?
er, was anyone ever supposed to know about this?
oops.
Tommy bar and the Socket Set - in a Vulcan at FL 450+ at around the same time!
Then there was the hyperventilating trombone player...mind you, that wasn't as bad as the highest bagpipe playing competition!
Then there was the hyperventilating trombone player...mind you, that wasn't as bad as the highest bagpipe playing competition!
characters
Lurkposition
How about high altitude record Irish jig fiddle playing by Mike O'Connor FL420 in a Mk1 Nimrod en route Jax to St Mawgan, mid Atlantic, 0100Z. Authenticated by Shanwick controller with a suitably broad Oirish accent asking very slowly "just exactly what are you guys doin' up dere at dis time o' night?"
BEagle
Possibly around your time on the V-force. Didn't a certain tall red haired AEO play the bagpipes at FL450? It actually made an inside page of the Telegraph I seem to remember, whereupon a po-faced spokesman sniffed that "Vulcans are not for fun". So you see there were Killjoys and Pecksniffs around then too.
The Ancient Mariner
How about high altitude record Irish jig fiddle playing by Mike O'Connor FL420 in a Mk1 Nimrod en route Jax to St Mawgan, mid Atlantic, 0100Z. Authenticated by Shanwick controller with a suitably broad Oirish accent asking very slowly "just exactly what are you guys doin' up dere at dis time o' night?"
BEagle
Possibly around your time on the V-force. Didn't a certain tall red haired AEO play the bagpipes at FL450? It actually made an inside page of the Telegraph I seem to remember, whereupon a po-faced spokesman sniffed that "Vulcans are not for fun". So you see there were Killjoys and Pecksniffs around then too.
The Ancient Mariner
Nutcracker43 - Indeed a 'character'. Remember vividly 230 in the '70s - giving Lex an authorisation and wondering how much of it he would stick too! Great character and earned the respect of the 'boys' he worked with later on - never let them down. (I seem to remember a foggy night at Odius - in the bar for a Friday happy hour. Heard a Puma overhead. 5 mins later, Lex and crew in through the window of bar. Left Puma on threshold as too foggy to find 33's dispersal). Oh how times have changed (sounding like a 'grumpy old git' which, I suppose, I am!) Still flying, though!
From varied accounts I have heard.....Nutcracker 43 was a bit of a sport himself in his day.
It has been said he gave more than a few "Severe Listening To's" to the Management after some of his escapades. Nowadays however, he would be hard pressed to escape any narrow squeaks.
It has been said he gave more than a few "Severe Listening To's" to the Management after some of his escapades. Nowadays however, he would be hard pressed to escape any narrow squeaks.
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Careful - the characters might still be there waiting to ruin another stn cdr's career.
I was privvy in the mid- 60's to a discussion in a group at the annual BoB cockers at Gutersloh when the C in C remarked to the Stn Cdr that there were no real characters left in the RAF any more. The Stn Cdr remained really cool and agreed, for what the C in C didn't know yet was that the officer to his left had just taken a train from the stn sidings and driven it along the bundesbahn to Hanover. And none of us knew that the officer opposite was later to fly his Hunter between the spans of Tower Bridge prior to beating up MoD and dropping leaflets across Heathrow.
No characters indeed!
I was privvy in the mid- 60's to a discussion in a group at the annual BoB cockers at Gutersloh when the C in C remarked to the Stn Cdr that there were no real characters left in the RAF any more. The Stn Cdr remained really cool and agreed, for what the C in C didn't know yet was that the officer to his left had just taken a train from the stn sidings and driven it along the bundesbahn to Hanover. And none of us knew that the officer opposite was later to fly his Hunter between the spans of Tower Bridge prior to beating up MoD and dropping leaflets across Heathrow.
No characters indeed!
Avoid imitations
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A certain Air Officer Commanding visited us at EMUAS one morning. He spoke to our students at some length and his best advice to them was "always take up the chance to fly - in anything you can, whenever you can!".
Forty five minutes later myself and his pilot of the day, an old colleague of mine, received a bollocking as we'd used up most of his going home fuel in the 32 Sqn Gazelle that he had left parked outside on the grass.
Having rotted up the airfield for half an hour, doing quickstops and PFLs etc, we landed, me having refreshed my rotary skills. AOC thought it very funny at first, but only then did they discover we only had AVGAS at Newton!
Forty five minutes later myself and his pilot of the day, an old colleague of mine, received a bollocking as we'd used up most of his going home fuel in the 32 Sqn Gazelle that he had left parked outside on the grass.
Having rotted up the airfield for half an hour, doing quickstops and PFLs etc, we landed, me having refreshed my rotary skills. AOC thought it very funny at first, but only then did they discover we only had AVGAS at Newton!
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Talking of characters, where the hell is Blackie and Chips Carpenter?? They were like Stadler and Waldorf in the crewroom. Once remember both of them discussing a visit to the sqn we had just had by that really really nice bloke Air Marshall Sandy Wilson Blackie (Flt Lt) proudly says in his broad jockanese accent 'do you know that he is in my first log book as a Flt Lt', Chips continues reading the newspaper and says ' mm ive got him as a Pilot Officer' in my third'
Blackie (Flt Lt) proudly says in his broad jockanese accent 'do you know that he is in my first log book as a Flt Lt', Chips continues reading the newspaper and says ' mm ive got him as a Pilot Officer' in my third'
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Characters are typically non-PC
Appologies to those who have already seen this on the official rumour network (DII), but I think that it is razzer gut! It sums up 'characters':
Biggles Defies the Beancounters
(with apologies to Captain WE Johns)
A Squadron Leader Bigglesworth Story
An aerodrome somewhere in England - Summer 1941
Biggles strode over to his personal Spitfire, sitting on the grass in front of the dispersal. His eyes narrowed. "What the blazes are you doing Smyth?" he admonished after he spotted the young rigger carefully painting out the red, white and blue roundels that signified the Royal Air Force. "S-s-sorry sir the CO told me to do this," he stammered. "He did, did he?" snarled Biggles.
Wing Commander Wilkinson hove into view from around the wing. "Sorry old chap, roundels are out. We trademarked them and then tried to sue other airforces for breach of copyright, but unfortunately the French counter-sued and we lost - apparently they had the bally roundel idea first."
"So where does that leave us?" asked Biggles incredulously.
"Well our marketing chaps have pulled the stops out and, as of today, 266 Sqn are now being sponsored by a German supermarket chain - Aldi - isn't that great? - Smyth is just putting their logo on and the latest sale prices now. Your kite is down for a two-for-one mobile phone ringtone promotion."
Biggles stared coldly at the designs in Smyth's hand.
"By the way," said Wilks "can you add RAF (TM) after all your correspondence and reports? Saves us trouble with the legal johnnies - we don't want to lose the name as well."
The Wing Commander continued: "On the plus side the marketing chaps have got us these new trainers to wear - look at these fellas!" pointing at a pair of banana shaped oddities on his feet with a roundel on them. "I believe these are 'respec and well crucial in one's hood' as the young people of today say. It should attract the RAF(TM) some high quality candidates in the future." Biggles winced at that thought.
"Right", said Biggles, looking at the sky, "I can't stand here chatting about your garish new pumps, I've got to get weaving and shoot down some Boche!"
His CO looked white: "Old boy, you can't say that! - we've got an embedded journalist with us in A-flight now - think what the papers and newsreels would say. From now on its 'let us get airborne and prosecute the mission and see if we encounter the client'. We certainly don't want any of this racism when Lord Haw-Haw from Berlin FM comes round next month on his media visit!"
Biggles pretended not to hear and examined the cockpit closely "Have you fitted that extra headrest armour like I asked?" he asked Smyth. "Err no sir. There's no money in the budget for that, you'll have to make do with this defensive suite". He passed Biggles a thick telephone directory. "It goes behind your head sir," added Smyth, helpfully.
Wilks toyed with his joint paperclip requisition form. "I meant to have a word with you anyway - we've been having complaints about your low flying from the local village," he said uneasily. "But I was pursuing a Dornier on a tip and run raid!" exclaimed Biggles. "Well yes, but the lawyers are all over us on this one - if you could just try to limit your dogfighting to unpopulated areas..."
"I don't believe this..." said Biggles, reaching inside his flying jacket for a cigarette. "Oh my God, man! Put that down. Don't you know those things are lethal?" "And 100+ Me109s at Angels 20 aren't?" questioned Biggles. "Haven't you been to see the Smoking Cessation Officer?" "No", said Biggles, "I've been solid on 'Ops' for the past six months."
"So you've missed the 'Sex-Change Awareness - Your Options Explained' training too?" said Wilks looking worried, anger rising, "And I notice you didn't attend your Assertiveness Training course last Wednesday - why was that?" "I was fighting" replied Biggles evenly.
"Well, you will have missed the great news then," said Wilks, cheerfully. "What?" said Biggles, "we've passed 242 Sqn's kill record? - about time too - I knew those 2 Heinkels that Algy squirted went down eventually."
"Not exactly," said the CO. "We've just been awarded an Investors in People award - we're having it sewn in the squadron battle honours. Possibly we might put our ISO 6000 and our environmental certificates on it as well - I think we might remove the Arras, Somme and Ypres titles - bit of a horrid business and no point in frightening any corporate sponsors off."
Biggles started to don his helmet, muttering under his breath and looking towards the dispersal hut.
"Don't bother waiting", Wilks said, "You haven't got a wingman today - he's away on paternity leave for a year under new EU regulations." "But Brussels is in enemy hands!" exclaimed Biggles. "Yes, but rules are still rules", said Wilks.
"There's other news too," said the CO sheepishly. "This aerodrome is being sold off for housing redevelopment - the entire RAF is now relocating to a gigantic superbase in the middle of Scotland. It's a bit of a squeeze what with Fighter, Bomber, Transport, and Coastal Command all there, but we think it achieves significant operational savings - although it does mean anything south of Dumfries is on its own."
"Well, I must get cracking," said Biggles, patting the propeller blade on his faithful Spitfire VB. Wilks looked at the veteran pilot. "Don't get too attached - we're getting rid of your Spitfires - probably no need for them now we've won the Battle of Britain - so we're taking a capability holiday - you'll re-equip with the new Typhoons in 1944. However, for the first year, you'll be capability-restricted - the contractors are behind and having problems integrating the rockets and we left out the 20mm cannon as a cost-saving measure. I'm sure you will cope."
"Anyway we don't plan on fighting any wars without the Americans - that would just be plain stupid."
"Err, Sir I don't know if you've noticed..." interrupted Biggles.
"Oh finally," breezed Wilks. "Word from up high at the Ministry - apparently we've done a deal with Herr Hitler at the highest levels. We've negotiated with industry and outsourced the war entirely. It's a five-year rolling PFI contract which could run for 25 years, with options to renew and means high efficiency, lower costs, just in time delivery, leaned synergies and faster, more robust operations for each side - a perfect example of where the private sector can really support the front line - excellent what! We've got Von Stalhein coming over next week to discuss the merger between 266 and JG51. Do you fancy coming in as a consultant?"
Biggles grimly picked up his service revolver and chin jutting, headed towards the legal admin branch building.
To be continued...?
Look for other titles in the War Empire Library range:
Hornblower is Overstretched
Sharpe's Public Inquiry
Warlord Sexes Up the Intelligence
Biggles Defies the Beancounters
(with apologies to Captain WE Johns)
A Squadron Leader Bigglesworth Story
An aerodrome somewhere in England - Summer 1941
Biggles strode over to his personal Spitfire, sitting on the grass in front of the dispersal. His eyes narrowed. "What the blazes are you doing Smyth?" he admonished after he spotted the young rigger carefully painting out the red, white and blue roundels that signified the Royal Air Force. "S-s-sorry sir the CO told me to do this," he stammered. "He did, did he?" snarled Biggles.
Wing Commander Wilkinson hove into view from around the wing. "Sorry old chap, roundels are out. We trademarked them and then tried to sue other airforces for breach of copyright, but unfortunately the French counter-sued and we lost - apparently they had the bally roundel idea first."
"So where does that leave us?" asked Biggles incredulously.
"Well our marketing chaps have pulled the stops out and, as of today, 266 Sqn are now being sponsored by a German supermarket chain - Aldi - isn't that great? - Smyth is just putting their logo on and the latest sale prices now. Your kite is down for a two-for-one mobile phone ringtone promotion."
Biggles stared coldly at the designs in Smyth's hand.
"By the way," said Wilks "can you add RAF (TM) after all your correspondence and reports? Saves us trouble with the legal johnnies - we don't want to lose the name as well."
The Wing Commander continued: "On the plus side the marketing chaps have got us these new trainers to wear - look at these fellas!" pointing at a pair of banana shaped oddities on his feet with a roundel on them. "I believe these are 'respec and well crucial in one's hood' as the young people of today say. It should attract the RAF(TM) some high quality candidates in the future." Biggles winced at that thought.
"Right", said Biggles, looking at the sky, "I can't stand here chatting about your garish new pumps, I've got to get weaving and shoot down some Boche!"
His CO looked white: "Old boy, you can't say that! - we've got an embedded journalist with us in A-flight now - think what the papers and newsreels would say. From now on its 'let us get airborne and prosecute the mission and see if we encounter the client'. We certainly don't want any of this racism when Lord Haw-Haw from Berlin FM comes round next month on his media visit!"
Biggles pretended not to hear and examined the cockpit closely "Have you fitted that extra headrest armour like I asked?" he asked Smyth. "Err no sir. There's no money in the budget for that, you'll have to make do with this defensive suite". He passed Biggles a thick telephone directory. "It goes behind your head sir," added Smyth, helpfully.
Wilks toyed with his joint paperclip requisition form. "I meant to have a word with you anyway - we've been having complaints about your low flying from the local village," he said uneasily. "But I was pursuing a Dornier on a tip and run raid!" exclaimed Biggles. "Well yes, but the lawyers are all over us on this one - if you could just try to limit your dogfighting to unpopulated areas..."
"I don't believe this..." said Biggles, reaching inside his flying jacket for a cigarette. "Oh my God, man! Put that down. Don't you know those things are lethal?" "And 100+ Me109s at Angels 20 aren't?" questioned Biggles. "Haven't you been to see the Smoking Cessation Officer?" "No", said Biggles, "I've been solid on 'Ops' for the past six months."
"So you've missed the 'Sex-Change Awareness - Your Options Explained' training too?" said Wilks looking worried, anger rising, "And I notice you didn't attend your Assertiveness Training course last Wednesday - why was that?" "I was fighting" replied Biggles evenly.
"Well, you will have missed the great news then," said Wilks, cheerfully. "What?" said Biggles, "we've passed 242 Sqn's kill record? - about time too - I knew those 2 Heinkels that Algy squirted went down eventually."
"Not exactly," said the CO. "We've just been awarded an Investors in People award - we're having it sewn in the squadron battle honours. Possibly we might put our ISO 6000 and our environmental certificates on it as well - I think we might remove the Arras, Somme and Ypres titles - bit of a horrid business and no point in frightening any corporate sponsors off."
Biggles started to don his helmet, muttering under his breath and looking towards the dispersal hut.
"Don't bother waiting", Wilks said, "You haven't got a wingman today - he's away on paternity leave for a year under new EU regulations." "But Brussels is in enemy hands!" exclaimed Biggles. "Yes, but rules are still rules", said Wilks.
"There's other news too," said the CO sheepishly. "This aerodrome is being sold off for housing redevelopment - the entire RAF is now relocating to a gigantic superbase in the middle of Scotland. It's a bit of a squeeze what with Fighter, Bomber, Transport, and Coastal Command all there, but we think it achieves significant operational savings - although it does mean anything south of Dumfries is on its own."
"Well, I must get cracking," said Biggles, patting the propeller blade on his faithful Spitfire VB. Wilks looked at the veteran pilot. "Don't get too attached - we're getting rid of your Spitfires - probably no need for them now we've won the Battle of Britain - so we're taking a capability holiday - you'll re-equip with the new Typhoons in 1944. However, for the first year, you'll be capability-restricted - the contractors are behind and having problems integrating the rockets and we left out the 20mm cannon as a cost-saving measure. I'm sure you will cope."
"Anyway we don't plan on fighting any wars without the Americans - that would just be plain stupid."
"Err, Sir I don't know if you've noticed..." interrupted Biggles.
"Oh finally," breezed Wilks. "Word from up high at the Ministry - apparently we've done a deal with Herr Hitler at the highest levels. We've negotiated with industry and outsourced the war entirely. It's a five-year rolling PFI contract which could run for 25 years, with options to renew and means high efficiency, lower costs, just in time delivery, leaned synergies and faster, more robust operations for each side - a perfect example of where the private sector can really support the front line - excellent what! We've got Von Stalhein coming over next week to discuss the merger between 266 and JG51. Do you fancy coming in as a consultant?"
Biggles grimly picked up his service revolver and chin jutting, headed towards the legal admin branch building.
To be continued...?
Look for other titles in the War Empire Library range:
Hornblower is Overstretched
Sharpe's Public Inquiry
Warlord Sexes Up the Intelligence