Best dining in night game
Red On, Green On
Join Date: May 2004
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To start you lie face down on the table and have it slowly raised to the vertical by some mates whilst hanging by your feet....... after a suitable time you release amid groans and curses of "he'll never do it". The victim, suitably wound up by his mates pushes to the front and accepts the challenge, lies face down and is upended. At this stage as he is straining away pour a pint of beer down each trouser leg and retire to a safe distance.
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Hampshire physically; Perthshire and Pembrokeshire mentally.
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Visit local pig farm. Buy live piglet. Shave it. Cover from snout to curly tail in butter. At appropriate moment release piglet then watch as assembled guests try to catch. Wot larks,pip!
And there is of course bungy running. Get a climbing harness, an appropriate length of bungy cord (1234 99 something). Attach to a firm point in the mess, radiator or doorway etc and see who can place a beermat the furthest into the room
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Wilts
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Jape rather than a game
Talc in the napkins of the intended victims always causes a stir as does tying the cutlery of the top table together with fine fishing lines - listen for the clatter as the hungry top table begin to scran
Hard core homo porn fabloned to the table underneath the top table place mats works well - I'm told! Especially that of the queen bee! Or the god-botherer...
Hate to think where he got the material though.
Hate to think where he got the material though.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: UK
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Unmissable
Strong rumours in Chom bar many moons ago of the Sword and the Sash from the previous course being caught in flagrante delicto on the snooker table. Photographic evidence was said to be available, but again, wishful thinking on someone's part?
Strong rumours in Chom bar many moons ago of the Sword and the Sash from the previous course being caught in flagrante delicto on the snooker table. Photographic evidence was said to be available, but again, wishful thinking on someone's part?
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: neither here nor there
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Best thing I saw at Marham (bout 88 ish) was a WRAF on her leaving service dining out. Blue tube off (mm I loved those things) and set light........boy did it burn into a shrivelled crimpolene mess..leaving said babe in sussies etc mmmmmmmmmmm 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The Smoke
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Seen Spoons done a couple of times. Two 'contestants' sit opposite each other, blindfolded and with dessert spoons in their mouths.
The idea being they take it in turns to smack each other on the head with their spoon with the first one to give in being the loser.
Trouble is......... the one who hasn't seen the game before is getting wellied by the chap standing to the side with the big soup ladle
He keeps playing, though, because he thinks he is hurting the other guy just as much.
The idea being they take it in turns to smack each other on the head with their spoon with the first one to give in being the loser.
Trouble is......... the one who hasn't seen the game before is getting wellied by the chap standing to the side with the big soup ladle
He keeps playing, though, because he thinks he is hurting the other guy just as much.
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Scotland
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Take 1 large sheet of marine ply, some contiboard, 4 lengths of 2x2, fixings and and a tin of ronseal mahogany varnish.
Construct cheapo but convincing Mess Dining Table and arrange substitution of the table in your sqn / team's place for upcoming dinner.
After the big cheeses have departed, produce stopwatch and saw, cut your 'mahogany' table in half and offer Ł50 to any sqn / team that can better your time.
Sit back and watch the opposition rack up their mess bills at @ Ł400 a pop. For added piquance, bring your real table back as they are admiring piles of expensive matchwood.
Construct cheapo but convincing Mess Dining Table and arrange substitution of the table in your sqn / team's place for upcoming dinner.
After the big cheeses have departed, produce stopwatch and saw, cut your 'mahogany' table in half and offer Ł50 to any sqn / team that can better your time.
Sit back and watch the opposition rack up their mess bills at @ Ł400 a pop. For added piquance, bring your real table back as they are admiring piles of expensive matchwood.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Fort Worth, USA
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I got done over royal recently in Aldergrove, foot powder in my napkin, my cutlery was glued to the table, andi had hard core porn stuck to the table beneath the place mat. To cap it all, i had a mobile phone strapped to the table, beneath my place, which kept ringing at max volume allthru the night, whilst i wore a smug "whos phone is that grimace" but all the while everyone knew exactly where it was coming from...needless to say, noone owned up, but still, i was royally pranked..... life as a holding officer
Join Date: Apr 2002
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Not my own game, and can't say I have tried it but it made me laugh. In a book by an ex Army Officer, the game is called "bicycle races".
Two contestants; CONTESTANT 'A' has to run to a bicycle on the mess lawn, don a large leather greatcoat and cycle helmet, hop on a bike and ride like hell to the finish line.
CONTESTANT 'B' has to run to a dis-assembled shotgun, re-assemble it, load it with some cartridges (loaded with rice instead of lead shot), and try and shoot the cyclist before he reaches the finish line.
Apparently the cyclist usually won, until someone discovered not all of the parts of the shotgun were needed to fire it, providing it was loaded before the barrel was put on (therefore cutting assembly time in half). Ended with contestant 'A' off to the med centre to get rice picked out of legs and back.
Good luck trying that in this day and age...
Two contestants; CONTESTANT 'A' has to run to a bicycle on the mess lawn, don a large leather greatcoat and cycle helmet, hop on a bike and ride like hell to the finish line.
CONTESTANT 'B' has to run to a dis-assembled shotgun, re-assemble it, load it with some cartridges (loaded with rice instead of lead shot), and try and shoot the cyclist before he reaches the finish line.
Apparently the cyclist usually won, until someone discovered not all of the parts of the shotgun were needed to fire it, providing it was loaded before the barrel was put on (therefore cutting assembly time in half). Ended with contestant 'A' off to the med centre to get rice picked out of legs and back.
Good luck trying that in this day and age...
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: Retirement home..
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My father in law told me that in his Army Mess was a big old fireplace. The game was to stand to attention on the mantlepiece, facing the room and then to fall forward. The officer reaching the most extreme angle whilst remaining at attention and without jumping off won.
The Mess record was finally claimed for all time when a certain officer continued beyond the vertical and smashed his face in on the fire back, toes still on the mantlepiece. The fire was lit at the time. He went to hospital loking like a survivor from a coal mining accident....
The Mess record was finally claimed for all time when a certain officer continued beyond the vertical and smashed his face in on the fire back, toes still on the mantlepiece. The fire was lit at the time. He went to hospital loking like a survivor from a coal mining accident....
Join Date: Apr 2002
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Good thread going here chaps - How about including a few lunches?
ISK a number of years ago, the departing OC CXX (AEO),was being "lunched out" and was requested to answer a "vital" phone call at reception - how naive is that ?
On his return to the Dining Room, which had now been transformed into a Court Martial, wigs, gowns and all - he was arrested at the door and frog-marched to the bench.
The charges and the verdict were delivered quite smartish.
Found guilty. he was arranged for punishment and blindfolded in front of the Mess facing a MK6 fire truck - which was capable of delivering high pressure water at 6000 gallons a minute - he was probably thinking, "Good jape what?"
WO i/c fire section went along with the scam thinking a wind-up.
Sadly, he didn't bank on the man on the nozzle (a certain Navigator), wearing a wig and gown who shouted "Hit It" to the fire crew!
Flattened the people, the front doors and most of the windows.
Post lunch, they recovered to the Sqn for more beer on a contractors road roller - but that's another story!!
Can't do that these days - the aircrew will be seen to be doing nothing or behaving like hooligans, when everyone else is working.
Love many, Trust a few, Always paddle your own canoe!
ISK a number of years ago, the departing OC CXX (AEO),was being "lunched out" and was requested to answer a "vital" phone call at reception - how naive is that ?
On his return to the Dining Room, which had now been transformed into a Court Martial, wigs, gowns and all - he was arrested at the door and frog-marched to the bench.
The charges and the verdict were delivered quite smartish.
Found guilty. he was arranged for punishment and blindfolded in front of the Mess facing a MK6 fire truck - which was capable of delivering high pressure water at 6000 gallons a minute - he was probably thinking, "Good jape what?"
WO i/c fire section went along with the scam thinking a wind-up.
Sadly, he didn't bank on the man on the nozzle (a certain Navigator), wearing a wig and gown who shouted "Hit It" to the fire crew!
Flattened the people, the front doors and most of the windows.
Post lunch, they recovered to the Sqn for more beer on a contractors road roller - but that's another story!!
Can't do that these days - the aircrew will be seen to be doing nothing or behaving like hooligans, when everyone else is working.
Love many, Trust a few, Always paddle your own canoe!
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: About to join the A1, UK
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Deck Landings - 3 polished tables end to end and lubricated with beer. Take shirt off and run at the tables. At a pre-determined range, launch body thru air and land chest first, arms out, legs splayed etc, skid along tables and stop before the end. Believe me, it aint easy.
Best I ever saw (middle 80's) - junior mate on sqn got airborne too early and, landing short, smashed his top teeth on edge of table. He spat out 3 of them, returned to the run up area and executed a perfect deck landing. He was then driven to casualty with excessive blood loss - needed a transfusion. Got false plate for front teeth 3 months later. Awesome.
Best I ever saw (middle 80's) - junior mate on sqn got airborne too early and, landing short, smashed his top teeth on edge of table. He spat out 3 of them, returned to the run up area and executed a perfect deck landing. He was then driven to casualty with excessive blood loss - needed a transfusion. Got false plate for front teeth 3 months later. Awesome.
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Suicidal checkers, preferably started after the unsuspecting team is already baggage.
What's the name/rules of the game played on a full size snooker table using your hands, ISTR playing this after an airshow where the Mirage 2000 display pilot was sh1t-hot.
What's the name/rules of the game played on a full size snooker table using your hands, ISTR playing this after an airshow where the Mirage 2000 display pilot was sh1t-hot.
Join Date: Dec 1999
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zorrotfb
The game is Slosh. Unfortunately it destroys the cushions and usually results in the table being moved off its foundation, thus ruining any subsequent billiards/snooker games.
The rules I recall were basic:
The opener fires a ball by hand from the "D" to the target on the black spot. Thereafter, each player, using the same ball, must cannon off the target ball before it stops moving.
Failure to do so invoked a penalty, depending on the game - take a drink, buy a round, drop out of the game, lose one's ante - all were possibles.
I seem to recall a requirement for one foot on the floor when shooting, and shepherding an opponent was bad form.
WRT Mess games, I recall also that Moriarty - the art of belting the opponent with a rolled-up newspaper whilst blindfolded - was almost invariably played at the DI.
More rarely, because it depended on certain Mess architecture, was "Fighters and Bombers", which involved the fighter being on the perch (ie, wherever they could attach themselves to the wall) preparatory to doing a high quarter on the bomber pilot who was being pushed around the ante-room in a wheeled arm chair by his long suffering nav (or vice-versa when the nav was stuffed!).
Gru
The game is Slosh. Unfortunately it destroys the cushions and usually results in the table being moved off its foundation, thus ruining any subsequent billiards/snooker games.
The rules I recall were basic:
The opener fires a ball by hand from the "D" to the target on the black spot. Thereafter, each player, using the same ball, must cannon off the target ball before it stops moving.
Failure to do so invoked a penalty, depending on the game - take a drink, buy a round, drop out of the game, lose one's ante - all were possibles.
I seem to recall a requirement for one foot on the floor when shooting, and shepherding an opponent was bad form.
WRT Mess games, I recall also that Moriarty - the art of belting the opponent with a rolled-up newspaper whilst blindfolded - was almost invariably played at the DI.
More rarely, because it depended on certain Mess architecture, was "Fighters and Bombers", which involved the fighter being on the perch (ie, wherever they could attach themselves to the wall) preparatory to doing a high quarter on the bomber pilot who was being pushed around the ante-room in a wheeled arm chair by his long suffering nav (or vice-versa when the nav was stuffed!).
Gru
Not as good as an inflatable JFACTSU dummy tank was at Brawdy though! They thought it would look good in the entrance for the Summer Testicle - but hadn't realised how big the bŁoody thing was!
Join Date: Jan 2001
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Slosh used to be called Canadian Crud and, before that, Tanks.
Does the Towers still have that entertaining dining in night thingy whereby some sucker would be instructed to down a sherry per minute from 7.30 to 8pm? I saw a Rock cadet enjoy this and then sit down next to King Rock, who asked 'What have you been drinking?' 'Sherry, sir.' 'How many have you had?' 'Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurteeeeeeeeeeeeeee...' as he spewed it into KR's soup.
Does the Towers still have that entertaining dining in night thingy whereby some sucker would be instructed to down a sherry per minute from 7.30 to 8pm? I saw a Rock cadet enjoy this and then sit down next to King Rock, who asked 'What have you been drinking?' 'Sherry, sir.' 'How many have you had?' 'Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurteeeeeeeeeeeeeee...' as he spewed it into KR's soup.