INCIDENT SIGNAL's
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: in my combat underpants
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FFS - please ask up the chain!
I am a stacker and I hate it when I appear to be foolish because of someone else's mess!
Please approach someone like the OIC or the OC Supply (properly/nicely) and get them to ask up. Please!
I am a stacker and I hate it when I appear to be foolish because of someone else's mess!
Please approach someone like the OIC or the OC Supply (properly/nicely) and get them to ask up. Please!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Harlow UK
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Invertron,
You seem to know a lot about military aviation.
Can you tell us what the SECURITY caveat 'Restricted' means at the top of Incident Signals ? I don't have the appropriate JSP to hand.
Does it now mean MOD and the whole damn Internet ?
Small beer I know, but 'nuff said. I'd watch your six for the White Caps; at the end of the day it's just as bad as buying a First Class government sponsored ticket for your girlfriend .....
hb
You seem to know a lot about military aviation.
Can you tell us what the SECURITY caveat 'Restricted' means at the top of Incident Signals ? I don't have the appropriate JSP to hand.
Does it now mean MOD and the whole damn Internet ?
Small beer I know, but 'nuff said. I'd watch your six for the White Caps; at the end of the day it's just as bad as buying a First Class government sponsored ticket for your girlfriend .....
hb
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Security
Whilst acknowledging that guys contribution on security classifications (although it seems strange that I work for a civilian company (in the United States) and we receive UK Incident signals). The distribution of UK military incident signals is immense. All (r) ALL civilian aircraft manufactureres receive them...anyone concerned with Flight safety receives them....I can't quite see where the security has been breached.
There is no mention of a DTG...no mention of an AIG....its just some words... they could have come from any where...
maybe the white caps are on there way to see you...!
There is no mention of a DTG...no mention of an AIG....its just some words... they could have come from any where...
maybe the white caps are on there way to see you...!
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: UK
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It doesn't stop at gloves -
Has anyone tried getting hold of desert flying suits in the last few weeks. According to my stores (at a long lost airbase about 120 miles north of london), they've all been impounded due to 'velcro' issues. Now apparently, all Mk16 flying suits are subject to the same problem!!
Best you don't scuff your knees in the bar boys!! Grow bags are now only available at the Army and Navy Stores.
Has anyone tried getting hold of desert flying suits in the last few weeks. According to my stores (at a long lost airbase about 120 miles north of london), they've all been impounded due to 'velcro' issues. Now apparently, all Mk16 flying suits are subject to the same problem!!
Best you don't scuff your knees in the bar boys!! Grow bags are now only available at the Army and Navy Stores.
On the mighty tucano we were meant to have strap on knee boards. Ended up doing the whole course without them due to the "backorder"- that's the efficiency of the supply system some times!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Nottingham...
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I was wondering how accounts would react when the payee section on the LPO was filled in with Paypal... Bet they went mad thinking you were buying them from a colleague from previously issued stock!
Have cracked what to do when I retire... Supply the Services with their personal kit requirements via the internet!! (and probably at a much lesser cost than the MOD can acquire the same eqpt.)
Have cracked what to do when I retire... Supply the Services with their personal kit requirements via the internet!! (and probably at a much lesser cost than the MOD can acquire the same eqpt.)
Funny you should say that. In the 35 years I was an RAF pilot, no-one was able to supply:
1. An aircrew pen torch as good as a Maglite which didn't upset the stupid sods of the spannering branch.
2. A half-decent kneeboard which could hold a standard RAF blunty-branch spiral bound notepad.
3. A chinagraph pencil which didn't rust/fall apart/upset the nuclear bomb.
So BEagle Enterprises was considering a simple, cheap kneeboard jobber which also contained said torch and chinagraph. Just haven't been arsed enough to get on with it!
1. An aircrew pen torch as good as a Maglite which didn't upset the stupid sods of the spannering branch.
2. A half-decent kneeboard which could hold a standard RAF blunty-branch spiral bound notepad.
3. A chinagraph pencil which didn't rust/fall apart/upset the nuclear bomb.
So BEagle Enterprises was considering a simple, cheap kneeboard jobber which also contained said torch and chinagraph. Just haven't been arsed enough to get on with it!
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Longton, Lancs, UK
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BEagy
Things that you refer to would, as always I think, be a matter of personal taste; and if they were freely supplied and available would still not suit all. For the sake of a few coppers, buy what you're happy with. Twas always thus.
Things that you refer to would, as always I think, be a matter of personal taste; and if they were freely supplied and available would still not suit all. For the sake of a few coppers, buy what you're happy with. Twas always thus.
Join Date: Oct 2004
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This is something from the D&G Forum concerning a real life incident which was not the subject of an incident signal but rather an incident e-mail to the authorising officer.
I can confirm that this occured and that the subject survived surgery although I doubt he has ever told the tale.
The Army - The Edge
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger movement in Army Aircraft.
Sir,
As the authorising officer for the redeployment of Kiowa 033 from
Madang to Darwin, I would like to advise you of a no-notice SAR I conducted which involved transporting an injured male civilian from a position 80 nm north of Weipa to Weipa airport on 05 May 02.
The background to the SAR involved the aircraft transiting from Horn Island to Weipa enroute Darwin. Travelling via the authorised route, I overflew a fishing camp that had several people on the beach signalling by hand signals that there was a problem and they wished for me to land. I landed at their camp to confirm everything was ok. They advised me that one
of their members was injured and needed urgent medical attention. .
It turns out the gentleman in question had a large chicken bone stuck up his anus. Not only that but the bone was in the horizontal position. I spoke to the man and requested his personal feelings on the matter. He told me that he
was in a substantial amount of pain (as you would be) and that his fellow fisherman had attempted to remove the object with a set of needle nose pliers (for the love of god!). They believed they may have ruptured his bowel in the process (how far did they go??).
At this point I believed the man's condition could deteriorate and decided that he required immediate transportation to the nearest medical facility. My decision was based on several factors. Firstly, a Rescue Helo had already been requested by the group but had been denied as the chopper was on another job. Secondly, road
transport to Weipa was at least a days drive as there were no roads in the area and sitting down for that long was not advisable. To accommodate the gentleman all our equipment was left at the camp due to weight limitations and the man was flown to Weipa. Enroute to Weipa Flight Watch were advised
of the situation and an ambulance arranged to meet us at the Weipa airport. I then conducted a refuel and returned to the camp for our equipment.
The rest of the transit to Darwin was uneventful. I have included
the CO and my OC as information copies to stop the rumour mill on this one.
I believe that if the man has passed away due to this incident then he should be considered for this years Darwin Award.
For your consideration.
*. ******
CAPT
QFI
and the reply from his boss
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger
movement in Army Aircraft.
****,
Well done on using your initiative. This is the sort of decision
making I expect of aviators in the 1st Avn Regt.
Please ensure that the appropriate DACC paperwork is completed and forwarded through Regt Ops. I suggest that your narrative stands as it is, although you might like to expand on the comfort of the passenger (seated in the back on his hands to relieve pressure, I hear) and the 40 knot headwinds.
This has made my 22 years in the Army (and especially in Aviation)
worthwhile.
OCs might like to use this example as an example of good use of
initiative (on our part) and not so good on the the part of the fisherman with the needle nose pliers.
************************************************
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger
movement in Army Aircraft.
As the authorising officer I endorse all your thought processes and actions in relation to the incident. I recommend that the ASOR include a recommendation for the Corps to acquire the services of a proctologist so that you are not placed in the unenviable position of assessing rectal complications. Failing this the Avmed cse should include a component on the ever increasing problem of adventurous people investigating the pleasures of sticking things up their ass. On this occassion there 'was a line' and the pointy pliers were on the wrong side of it.
Some questions:
1. Did you inspect the injury to ensure it was serious enough to take him.
I can confirm that this occured and that the subject survived surgery although I doubt he has ever told the tale.
The Army - The Edge
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger movement in Army Aircraft.
Sir,
As the authorising officer for the redeployment of Kiowa 033 from
Madang to Darwin, I would like to advise you of a no-notice SAR I conducted which involved transporting an injured male civilian from a position 80 nm north of Weipa to Weipa airport on 05 May 02.
The background to the SAR involved the aircraft transiting from Horn Island to Weipa enroute Darwin. Travelling via the authorised route, I overflew a fishing camp that had several people on the beach signalling by hand signals that there was a problem and they wished for me to land. I landed at their camp to confirm everything was ok. They advised me that one
of their members was injured and needed urgent medical attention. .
It turns out the gentleman in question had a large chicken bone stuck up his anus. Not only that but the bone was in the horizontal position. I spoke to the man and requested his personal feelings on the matter. He told me that he
was in a substantial amount of pain (as you would be) and that his fellow fisherman had attempted to remove the object with a set of needle nose pliers (for the love of god!). They believed they may have ruptured his bowel in the process (how far did they go??).
At this point I believed the man's condition could deteriorate and decided that he required immediate transportation to the nearest medical facility. My decision was based on several factors. Firstly, a Rescue Helo had already been requested by the group but had been denied as the chopper was on another job. Secondly, road
transport to Weipa was at least a days drive as there were no roads in the area and sitting down for that long was not advisable. To accommodate the gentleman all our equipment was left at the camp due to weight limitations and the man was flown to Weipa. Enroute to Weipa Flight Watch were advised
of the situation and an ambulance arranged to meet us at the Weipa airport. I then conducted a refuel and returned to the camp for our equipment.
The rest of the transit to Darwin was uneventful. I have included
the CO and my OC as information copies to stop the rumour mill on this one.
I believe that if the man has passed away due to this incident then he should be considered for this years Darwin Award.
For your consideration.
*. ******
CAPT
QFI
and the reply from his boss
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger
movement in Army Aircraft.
****,
Well done on using your initiative. This is the sort of decision
making I expect of aviators in the 1st Avn Regt.
Please ensure that the appropriate DACC paperwork is completed and forwarded through Regt Ops. I suggest that your narrative stands as it is, although you might like to expand on the comfort of the passenger (seated in the back on his hands to relieve pressure, I hear) and the 40 knot headwinds.
This has made my 22 years in the Army (and especially in Aviation)
worthwhile.
OCs might like to use this example as an example of good use of
initiative (on our part) and not so good on the the part of the fisherman with the needle nose pliers.
************************************************
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Advice of Civil passenger
movement in Army Aircraft.
As the authorising officer I endorse all your thought processes and actions in relation to the incident. I recommend that the ASOR include a recommendation for the Corps to acquire the services of a proctologist so that you are not placed in the unenviable position of assessing rectal complications. Failing this the Avmed cse should include a component on the ever increasing problem of adventurous people investigating the pleasures of sticking things up their ass. On this occassion there 'was a line' and the pointy pliers were on the wrong side of it.
Some questions:
1. Did you inspect the injury to ensure it was serious enough to take him.
Perhaps he was only trying to feed a carnivorous gerbil?
For those who may never have heard it before, here is the aprocryphal gerbil story:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil." Vito Bustone told bemused doctors in the severe burns unit of Salt Lake City hospital.
Bustone, and his homosexual partner Kikki Rodriguez, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a 'felching' session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed the cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Faggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kikki shouted "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Faggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what had happened next. "The flame ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot up the tube igniting Mr. Bustone's moustache and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which, in turn, ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Bustone suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Rodriguez suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sheriff Hugo Root later told reporters: "It's Faggot I feel sorry for. Being stuffed up some queer's tradesman's entrance."
The fate of the singed gerbil was not reported....
For those who may never have heard it before, here is the aprocryphal gerbil story:
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil." Vito Bustone told bemused doctors in the severe burns unit of Salt Lake City hospital.
Bustone, and his homosexual partner Kikki Rodriguez, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a 'felching' session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed the cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Faggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kikki shouted "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Faggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what had happened next. "The flame ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot up the tube igniting Mr. Bustone's moustache and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which, in turn, ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Bustone suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Rodriguez suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. Sheriff Hugo Root later told reporters: "It's Faggot I feel sorry for. Being stuffed up some queer's tradesman's entrance."
The fate of the singed gerbil was not reported....
Join Date: Oct 2004
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Bootflap,
I had the same reaction as did the officers at a dining-in night soon after the event.
Glad I could brighten up your day. I thought I might have been rehashing a well-known story. Soon after the e-mail hit the ether I heard through friends in both the US and UK military that it was doing the rounds in those countries.
The same pilot also had another incident earlier in his career (as a junior bloggs) when his flight commander led him on an interesting nav in rather poor weather. After the two aircraft struggled through most of the day in rain, poor vis and low cloud they decided to give it away about 30 miles from home, land and call the techs to pick them up. Flight commander called said pilot and asked him what those 'doggies' were in the field to which they were approaching. Turns out they had commenced an approach to a lion park! Needless to say, another area was quickly selected and that most hackneyed phrase comes to mind - 'landed without further incident'. This incident didn't quite make a the signal list either.
I had the same reaction as did the officers at a dining-in night soon after the event.
Glad I could brighten up your day. I thought I might have been rehashing a well-known story. Soon after the e-mail hit the ether I heard through friends in both the US and UK military that it was doing the rounds in those countries.
The same pilot also had another incident earlier in his career (as a junior bloggs) when his flight commander led him on an interesting nav in rather poor weather. After the two aircraft struggled through most of the day in rain, poor vis and low cloud they decided to give it away about 30 miles from home, land and call the techs to pick them up. Flight commander called said pilot and asked him what those 'doggies' were in the field to which they were approaching. Turns out they had commenced an approach to a lion park! Needless to say, another area was quickly selected and that most hackneyed phrase comes to mind - 'landed without further incident'. This incident didn't quite make a the signal list either.
Join Date: May 2000
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The solution!!!!
Look guys...
Less of the back-biting, the solution is quite simple....
Simply get the over large (monkey-fisted) size 9.5s get them nice and wet... then put then in the microwave and watch them shrink before your very eyes!!!!
The trick is stopping it at size 7.5 before they end up action-man sized!!!!!
A great trick if people leave gloves lying around... been through loads of them
- (note to self - might have just caused the shortage in gloves! Oh well, what else is there to do on a long night leg but cut fingers off unsuspecting gloves, fill gloves with mayo and shrink gloves in microwave!!! must fly more on gogs - microwave doesn't work then!)
T
Less of the back-biting, the solution is quite simple....
Simply get the over large (monkey-fisted) size 9.5s get them nice and wet... then put then in the microwave and watch them shrink before your very eyes!!!!
The trick is stopping it at size 7.5 before they end up action-man sized!!!!!
A great trick if people leave gloves lying around... been through loads of them
- (note to self - might have just caused the shortage in gloves! Oh well, what else is there to do on a long night leg but cut fingers off unsuspecting gloves, fill gloves with mayo and shrink gloves in microwave!!! must fly more on gogs - microwave doesn't work then!)
T
