Room 101
Look, I didn't mean to hammer away at PR00NE's credibility and give him a generally good slagging-off.... even though that's how I may have come across
I do have respect for his 2 CR FJ tours though!
What I took exception to was his assertion that the working majority of HM Forces could do no better than the shower of sh*t in power at the moment, because we are all incompetent serfs and couldn't organise a refit in an aircraft factory, etc, etc...
We all know that there is no chance of a military coup in the UK as we are all watched too closely by other government agencies - but that doesn't mean we can't explore the theory.
So to put the track back on thread, I suggest we search for other fitting candidates to meet O'Brien in the Ministry of Love.
I do have respect for his 2 CR FJ tours though!What I took exception to was his assertion that the working majority of HM Forces could do no better than the shower of sh*t in power at the moment, because we are all incompetent serfs and couldn't organise a refit in an aircraft factory, etc, etc...
We all know that there is no chance of a military coup in the UK as we are all watched too closely by other government agencies - but that doesn't mean we can't explore the theory.
So to put the track back on thread, I suggest we search for other fitting candidates to meet O'Brien in the Ministry of Love.
TAC Int Bloke
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I don't think Training Risky and I belong to the same armed forces.
I'd be deeply concerned if any 'regular' considered seriously a military coup this side of a beer call and I don't think that 'government agencies' are monitoring our every move in case we start one - hell, PSF never know where I am or what I’m doing, what chance to MI5 stand? (Waits for the Black helicopters to appear)
If a military dictatorship ran the country, as pr00ne says, it would all go for rat *hit within a week. I’d be off to join the resistance with most of the RAF
As the bald bloke with the big cigar once said
I'd be deeply concerned if any 'regular' considered seriously a military coup this side of a beer call and I don't think that 'government agencies' are monitoring our every move in case we start one - hell, PSF never know where I am or what I’m doing, what chance to MI5 stand? (Waits for the Black helicopters to appear)
If a military dictatorship ran the country, as pr00ne says, it would all go for rat *hit within a week. I’d be off to join the resistance with most of the RAF
Democracy is the worst form of government – apart from all the others
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Room 101, easy - imcompetence, waste, laziness and self-serving institutions:
DLO - why?
DPA - bollox, is there any major project they havent rolled over and played bi*ch on?
New Labour - For creating a country in which I am paying for a dole-ie who is better off on benefits than taking a minimum wage job.
Buff-Hoon - For mislaying his spine sometime in 1998.
The Chiefs - for 'playing the game' with the spine-less tw*t.
ANY 1* plus member who shows his duplicity by leaving uniform one day, they joining a blood-sucking manufacturer of bull*hit the next.
RAF stations that buy officers £800 pound pairs of skis 'to develop them'.
Civil Service organisations that organize 'team-building' events to The Eden Project or just to go overnight to a hotel.
Rant over, but it feels good!
DLO - why?
DPA - bollox, is there any major project they havent rolled over and played bi*ch on?
New Labour - For creating a country in which I am paying for a dole-ie who is better off on benefits than taking a minimum wage job.
Buff-Hoon - For mislaying his spine sometime in 1998.
The Chiefs - for 'playing the game' with the spine-less tw*t.
ANY 1* plus member who shows his duplicity by leaving uniform one day, they joining a blood-sucking manufacturer of bull*hit the next.
RAF stations that buy officers £800 pound pairs of skis 'to develop them'.
Civil Service organisations that organize 'team-building' events to The Eden Project or just to go overnight to a hotel.
Rant over, but it feels good!
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What! You seriously want the military to run the whole country?
I quote the following lines from her book:
'Unaccountable young officials would propose ideas to the Prime Minister and departments would be instructed to implement them' P. 71.
'The centralisation of power continues to grow remorselessly with No.10 trying to control the selection of candidates to the Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly as well as for the London Mayor and the European Parliament'. P.73.
'All promotion now depends on supporting the leader unquestionably' P. 74.
'Blair came to enjoy the drama and glory that goes with military action' P.91.
'There is a feel of a group of boys who have taken over and find it exciting to exercise power over others through their own little gang' P.102.
'Tony Blair's unwillingness to stand up firmly to the US' P.118.
I looked 'coup d'état' up in the dictionary and came up with the following definition:
'coup d'état' 'A sudden appropriation of leadership or power; a take-over: a boardroom coup.'
Not far off what has already happened it would seem.
I recently met Clare Short at a book signing. Her mission seemed to be to explain what had actually happened to our Parliament. She took questions for 45 minutes. The mood amongst the (mostly) middle aged audience was frankly one of anger that deomcracy had been subverted.
Of course we don't want either revolution or military coup in Britain. We need a full turnout at the next election. The most useful result might be a hung parliament as this would force our directly elected representatives to use the established democratic processes that the British people own.
Room 101? We are already in it.
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Great quote from Diane Abbot on "This Week" last night:
"Geoff Hoon? What makes you think that he makes any of the decisions about the Military?". Or words to that effect.
"Geoff Hoon? What makes you think that he makes any of the decisions about the Military?". Or words to that effect.
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Hatred
DK338 - I assume from your rather vulgar hatred of the RAF Air Traffic Control specialisation that you failed the JATCC - or perhaps you didn't even get that far! So I suggest you go back to school, work a bit harder and then you might eventually achieve something in your life.
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Few things spring to mind on your post Matoman:
1. Air Traffikers are hated throughout the RAF so I wouldnt get het up by one comment.
2. Failing JATCC or not being selected does not constitute a reason to have tried harder at school. For one an education does not automatically give you an abundance of common sense, social skills or the ability to talk about anything other than your last "avoiding action turn"
3. Having completed JATCC, it did not make me feel like I had achieved something in life or for that matter have a life.
The day air traffikers stop talking shop and realise that they are nothing special is the day that hell freezes over.
Before you start a rant Matoman, I have completed JATCC and validated at unit, so I do believe I can comment about the amount of ignorant self-centered to$$ers in the branch / trade
Merry Xmas
1. Air Traffikers are hated throughout the RAF so I wouldnt get het up by one comment.
2. Failing JATCC or not being selected does not constitute a reason to have tried harder at school. For one an education does not automatically give you an abundance of common sense, social skills or the ability to talk about anything other than your last "avoiding action turn"
3. Having completed JATCC, it did not make me feel like I had achieved something in life or for that matter have a life.
The day air traffikers stop talking shop and realise that they are nothing special is the day that hell freezes over.
Before you start a rant Matoman, I have completed JATCC and validated at unit, so I do believe I can comment about the amount of ignorant self-centered to$$ers in the branch / trade
Merry Xmas
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Matomanoman or what ever you call yerself,
I rest my case!
You are indicative of the self opinionated smugness that prevails within the ATC world and it's precisely because of people like you that I have a thorough dislike of you. If you honestly believe that working harder at school might improve ones chances of passing an aptitude test then you really have no idea. Is that the argument you put forward to all your FOAs, "Sorry thicko, no controlling for you because you aren't bright enough!" I'd be the first to invite you round the back of the tower for some constructive advice. I suggest to you boyo that you crawl away back under the soggy little stone that you and the majority of you ilk congregate under and learn some humility. Tw@t!
My experiences of some members of the ATC branch over the last few months would make your eyes water. On a recent det for example some commissoned controllers rolled in so drunk they shouldn't have controlled, the DSATCO failed to pitch up twice, it appeared for the same reasons. The next DSATCO lacked the moral courage to put a stop to some serious breaches of airmanship, want me to go on? So no not exactly my favourite people.
OiOiOi Hoot Hoot.
Good post chap, at least there are some Air Traffickers out there with some cred who can see the wood from the trees.
I rest my case!
You are indicative of the self opinionated smugness that prevails within the ATC world and it's precisely because of people like you that I have a thorough dislike of you. If you honestly believe that working harder at school might improve ones chances of passing an aptitude test then you really have no idea. Is that the argument you put forward to all your FOAs, "Sorry thicko, no controlling for you because you aren't bright enough!" I'd be the first to invite you round the back of the tower for some constructive advice. I suggest to you boyo that you crawl away back under the soggy little stone that you and the majority of you ilk congregate under and learn some humility. Tw@t!
My experiences of some members of the ATC branch over the last few months would make your eyes water. On a recent det for example some commissoned controllers rolled in so drunk they shouldn't have controlled, the DSATCO failed to pitch up twice, it appeared for the same reasons. The next DSATCO lacked the moral courage to put a stop to some serious breaches of airmanship, want me to go on? So no not exactly my favourite people.
OiOiOi Hoot Hoot.
Good post chap, at least there are some Air Traffickers out there with some cred who can see the wood from the trees.
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Come on Matoman you can do better than that. I know approach room banter is to do with the qualities of people RIS, RAS and type of climb out restriction but come on, to actually pretend it was for a bite 
So Matoman, give it your best shot...
PS that post of yours in answer to DK was the best bit of avoiding action you have done in years
So Matoman, give it your best shot...
PS that post of yours in answer to DK was the best bit of avoiding action you have done in years
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An air trafficker responds
DK338
You really will have to do much better than that and anyway you can’t rest your case, because I‘ve decided to reply - hopefully to elicit the exchange of a bit more abuse! Besides, I am not in the habit of lying under soggy little stones, or bloody great paving slabs in my case, I much prefer throwing them back in the direction they came from!
Firstly, self-opinionated is really only one of the many characteristics I would freely acknowledge; a selection of others are: smug, rude, outspoken, insufferable, arrogant, thick-skinned, together with a general intolerance of the lower orders – the list is almost endless, but sadly for you, humility doesn’t seem to feature anywhere. As for you and some others in sections of the RAF having a thorough dislike of air traffickers .... please! ...... it goes with the territory and flows off my back without even touching the surface! In the immortal words of the supporters of one of my favourite teams “No-one likes us, we don’t care”.
Secondly, your early recourse to proposing physical violence and the use of the term boyo rather gives the game away and sadly betrays your disadvantaged upbringing, probably on some sink council estate in the depths of darkest South Wales. Perhaps you were the spawned by the frantic coupling of a 14 year-old single mother and a drug-addled feckless illiterate yob up against the back of the local chip van – the various possibilities are almost endless. Anyway, when I jumped on the scales down at the gym this week, I appear to have entered the heavyweight division, the result of far too much pie-eating over the years. Consequently, a bout of unseemly fisticuffs with a lightweight such as yourself would not be allowed under the Queensberry Rules. Remember, the pen is mightier than the sword.
DK338, my advice is for you to take a strong sedative and lie down for a while in a darkened room, preferably in a dank night flying shed alongside an ATC tower somewhere, which will hopefully contain some moldy old documents and maps to act as a bed. All that latent hostility towards one small part of the RAF indicates some fundamental, deep-seated neurosis, unhealthy in one so young and immature, that needs to be urgently treated. To quote the psychiatrist surveying a manic Basil Fawlty in an episode of Fawlty Towers ‘There’s enough material here for an entire conference”.
Your anonymity makes it a little difficult to determine your position within the RAF. Perhaps you’re a scribbler, or maybe a stacker or even possibly even one of those fine upstanding movers, who bring such joy to the lives of so many? My pet theory for your latent hostility is that you’ve recently suffered some unfortunate rejection at the hands of an air trafficker. Perhaps your obviously feeble sexual advances were quickly spurned by one of the many stunning young ladies who inhabit our control towers - or perhaps she was a he, after all, such predilection is legal these days, isn’t it? Don’t be shy, you can come out of the closet, nobody minds anymore!
I think probably that the most likely explanations for your anger are that you’re either a member of the much loved flt ops specialization, with an unhealthy chip on both shoulders having failing the aptitude test, or a cpl plod who’s developed an unnatural obsession with the theft of a packet of paperclips from the ATC admin office – who knows?
I really do doubt whether your experiences of the past few months would actually makes my eyes water. I learned long, long ago that thankfully all those in my specialisation also share many, if not all, of my defining characteristics. In addition, we are all tea-total, hard-working, utterly attractive individuals with film star good looks, MA’s from Oxbridge with engaging personalities to match, completely dedicated to Charity work in what little free time we’re allowed – well at least I am anyway.
You mentioned credibility, well sadly once again you display the immaturity, sublime ignorance and misplaced arrogance, typical of so many of the poorly educated youth of today – the sink comprehensive education system and Shirley Williams have much to answer for. Credibility isn’t something bestowed upon you or anyone after a little four month out of area detachment during your first tour! In reality, in takes many, many years to establish even a smattering of credibility and when you’re on your second or third tour, and maybe have reached the dizzy heights of JNCO, you might just have acquired a little yourself. As for me, well I’m old, really, really old, fat, grumpy and extremely ugly to boot, but with 30+ years and a dozen or more tours, home and abroad, I suspect I may have rather more credibility than most, so pull up a sandbag and listen in and who knows, if you can stay awake longer than me, you might actually learn something for once in your life. Finally, I actually can see the wood for the trees, because I suspect that, over the years, I probably actually planted a few of the woods myself.
Please, please keep the banter coming DK338, I’m starting to really warm to the task and my fingers are poised over the keyboard awaiting a witty response, so look sharp about it thicko!!!
You really will have to do much better than that and anyway you can’t rest your case, because I‘ve decided to reply - hopefully to elicit the exchange of a bit more abuse! Besides, I am not in the habit of lying under soggy little stones, or bloody great paving slabs in my case, I much prefer throwing them back in the direction they came from!
Firstly, self-opinionated is really only one of the many characteristics I would freely acknowledge; a selection of others are: smug, rude, outspoken, insufferable, arrogant, thick-skinned, together with a general intolerance of the lower orders – the list is almost endless, but sadly for you, humility doesn’t seem to feature anywhere. As for you and some others in sections of the RAF having a thorough dislike of air traffickers .... please! ...... it goes with the territory and flows off my back without even touching the surface! In the immortal words of the supporters of one of my favourite teams “No-one likes us, we don’t care”.
Secondly, your early recourse to proposing physical violence and the use of the term boyo rather gives the game away and sadly betrays your disadvantaged upbringing, probably on some sink council estate in the depths of darkest South Wales. Perhaps you were the spawned by the frantic coupling of a 14 year-old single mother and a drug-addled feckless illiterate yob up against the back of the local chip van – the various possibilities are almost endless. Anyway, when I jumped on the scales down at the gym this week, I appear to have entered the heavyweight division, the result of far too much pie-eating over the years. Consequently, a bout of unseemly fisticuffs with a lightweight such as yourself would not be allowed under the Queensberry Rules. Remember, the pen is mightier than the sword.
DK338, my advice is for you to take a strong sedative and lie down for a while in a darkened room, preferably in a dank night flying shed alongside an ATC tower somewhere, which will hopefully contain some moldy old documents and maps to act as a bed. All that latent hostility towards one small part of the RAF indicates some fundamental, deep-seated neurosis, unhealthy in one so young and immature, that needs to be urgently treated. To quote the psychiatrist surveying a manic Basil Fawlty in an episode of Fawlty Towers ‘There’s enough material here for an entire conference”.
Your anonymity makes it a little difficult to determine your position within the RAF. Perhaps you’re a scribbler, or maybe a stacker or even possibly even one of those fine upstanding movers, who bring such joy to the lives of so many? My pet theory for your latent hostility is that you’ve recently suffered some unfortunate rejection at the hands of an air trafficker. Perhaps your obviously feeble sexual advances were quickly spurned by one of the many stunning young ladies who inhabit our control towers - or perhaps she was a he, after all, such predilection is legal these days, isn’t it? Don’t be shy, you can come out of the closet, nobody minds anymore!
I think probably that the most likely explanations for your anger are that you’re either a member of the much loved flt ops specialization, with an unhealthy chip on both shoulders having failing the aptitude test, or a cpl plod who’s developed an unnatural obsession with the theft of a packet of paperclips from the ATC admin office – who knows?
I really do doubt whether your experiences of the past few months would actually makes my eyes water. I learned long, long ago that thankfully all those in my specialisation also share many, if not all, of my defining characteristics. In addition, we are all tea-total, hard-working, utterly attractive individuals with film star good looks, MA’s from Oxbridge with engaging personalities to match, completely dedicated to Charity work in what little free time we’re allowed – well at least I am anyway.
You mentioned credibility, well sadly once again you display the immaturity, sublime ignorance and misplaced arrogance, typical of so many of the poorly educated youth of today – the sink comprehensive education system and Shirley Williams have much to answer for. Credibility isn’t something bestowed upon you or anyone after a little four month out of area detachment during your first tour! In reality, in takes many, many years to establish even a smattering of credibility and when you’re on your second or third tour, and maybe have reached the dizzy heights of JNCO, you might just have acquired a little yourself. As for me, well I’m old, really, really old, fat, grumpy and extremely ugly to boot, but with 30+ years and a dozen or more tours, home and abroad, I suspect I may have rather more credibility than most, so pull up a sandbag and listen in and who knows, if you can stay awake longer than me, you might actually learn something for once in your life. Finally, I actually can see the wood for the trees, because I suspect that, over the years, I probably actually planted a few of the woods myself.
Please, please keep the banter coming DK338, I’m starting to really warm to the task and my fingers are poised over the keyboard awaiting a witty response, so look sharp about it thicko!!!
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Bravo, top post M - looking forward to DK's reply!
However, "stunning looking ATC controllers" - on which planet is that?
And as for Welsh valleys' chippe vans - obviously, you have never been there! If you had, you would know they are all 'lavabread and rarebit' vans. Having sex at the back of those was always exciting, if a little smelly!
At least, one knew they would never move as their wheels had been replaced with a pile of bricks!
However, "stunning looking ATC controllers" - on which planet is that?
And as for Welsh valleys' chippe vans - obviously, you have never been there! If you had, you would know they are all 'lavabread and rarebit' vans. Having sex at the back of those was always exciting, if a little smelly!
At least, one knew they would never move as their wheels had been replaced with a pile of bricks!
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My 0.02 for Room 101
1. Constantly repeating news channels - "We will continue to bring you the latest on the death of Mr Doobery Firkin - he is still dead"
2. Middle lane motorway drivers (in already but feel so strong about it so it can go in twice!)
3. Fair weather supporters of the armed forces
4. More commitments but no increase in support or funding
5. People who have "revolutionary ideas on how we can do our business in the future" when they don't have a clue on how we do it now
6. Any bloody reality tv show, especially where opposites are put together on holiday to "see what will happen"
7. People who, when confronted about their views, claim they were only fishing for a bite. And if they were fishing, they are twice the tw@!
There are more to follow I am sure
1. Constantly repeating news channels - "We will continue to bring you the latest on the death of Mr Doobery Firkin - he is still dead"
2. Middle lane motorway drivers (in already but feel so strong about it so it can go in twice!)
3. Fair weather supporters of the armed forces
4. More commitments but no increase in support or funding
5. People who have "revolutionary ideas on how we can do our business in the future" when they don't have a clue on how we do it now
6. Any bloody reality tv show, especially where opposites are put together on holiday to "see what will happen"
7. People who, when confronted about their views, claim they were only fishing for a bite. And if they were fishing, they are twice the tw@!
There are more to follow I am sure
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Matoman,
Your reply indicates to me a deep seated sense of inadequacy in yourself. Maybe you're the one from the working class sink estate desperate to shed his working class roots. To give you credit though, I actually suspect you're a product of the post war lower middle class who feels that he has risen above the little people but in actuality is a nobody. Come back to me once you get an entry in Debretts like me and then we'll continue the discussion on background - peasant!
Forget basing cred on number of tours, I am confident that my lengthy service in the RAF will overshadow anything you may feel you've achieved. I suggest to you that instead of hiding away on MOBs or racking up time in area radar in safe benign environments, get out and get some time under your belt in a military environment on real time ops, something air traffickers are not apart of and don't do much of to boot!
Anyway I have no intention of competing with your verbose xenophobic/rankist/pompous post as clearly you have enough chips to feed the nations entire complement of sink estates.
I'm rather enjoying this!
DK
Your reply indicates to me a deep seated sense of inadequacy in yourself. Maybe you're the one from the working class sink estate desperate to shed his working class roots. To give you credit though, I actually suspect you're a product of the post war lower middle class who feels that he has risen above the little people but in actuality is a nobody. Come back to me once you get an entry in Debretts like me and then we'll continue the discussion on background - peasant!
Forget basing cred on number of tours, I am confident that my lengthy service in the RAF will overshadow anything you may feel you've achieved. I suggest to you that instead of hiding away on MOBs or racking up time in area radar in safe benign environments, get out and get some time under your belt in a military environment on real time ops, something air traffickers are not apart of and don't do much of to boot!
Anyway I have no intention of competing with your verbose xenophobic/rankist/pompous post as clearly you have enough chips to feed the nations entire complement of sink estates.
I'm rather enjoying this!
DK
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DK338
DK338,
I must confess that, when I first saw that you had eventually summoned up the mental powers to respond to my last post, I think I felt the vague stirrings of sexual arousal. At least I suspect that’s what it was as, owing to my enormous girth, I haven’t seen Mr Floppy for some considerable time and these days he appears to affect no interest in actual physical activity, unless heavily fortified by one of those popular social stimulants that are advertised so freely on the Internet.
Unfortunately, it’s taken me a little while to respond as I have been travelling into the capital, in preparation for another strenuous week in the office, and whilst in town I reside in my club where 20th century technology is somewhat lacking. Nevertheless, your rather humourless response seemed a trifle angry, the arguments you propose rather poorly structured and one or two of the suggestions a bit physically taxing for a gentleman at my stage in life. Anyway, this evening I was dozing quietly in a comfy old Chesterfield, behind a copy of The Sunday Times considering how best to respond, when I noticed Fatty Soames waddling across the room in my general direction. This was somewhat surprising as, having been my Fag at Eton as well as my social inferior, Soames normally gives me a wide berth - I probably bring back too many memories of him being held upside down in the lavatory, whilst I eagerly flushed the chain. Nevertheless, I allowed him to join me because I felt that, as the Shadow Defence spokesman, he might have something worthwhile to contribute to my forthcoming speech on the poor educational standards and lack of humour prevalent in so many of today’s young servicemen and women.
I showed him your last post and he agreed with me that it was deeply regrettable that these days we are forced to employ ill-bred, semi-literate youths of vague Welsh descent in the armed forces. I made the point that, whilst in the past I have found jobs for one or two of these disadvantaged people as sheep worriers on my country estate, it was in retrospect a mistake to place temptation so easily in their path – although their low sperm count usually prevented any unforeseen accidents. After a number of stiff G&T’s, we did eventually agree that when the next Tory government finally takes office, you and a number of your inbred relations from the Valleys would probably benefit from being re-employed as Fags for the more senior and less physically active members of the RAF.
I know that at first this might seem a bit of a comedown, but I firmly believe that with sufficient training, together with a few generous applications of the birch, you might eventually be suitable material to Fag for me. This new arrangement will be a difficult adjustment for me as well, but in time I imagine that I will eventually become accustomed to your unusual speech patterns, strange odours and physical deformities and besides, it’s not your fault that you’re the unfortunate victim of a bungled forceps delivery. At the weekends I frequently hunt with the Cottesmore and generally decimate wildlife around my estate, but in the current anti-hunt climate, you’ll have to be put to work laying a trail for the hounds to follow. The hounds have, understandably, been trained to chase and attack the lower orders, so you’ll need to be a fairly swift runner, because you’re likely to be torn limb from limb if cornered.
Anyway, as my future Fag you can now cut along to the nearest lavatories and sit on one of the bog seats for a while to practice warming it up for me in future. Look sharp about it boyo or you’ll set a bad example to the other trainee Fags!!
Matoman
PS:
You've rather shot yourself in the foot in your last post, demonstrating yet again your pathetic lack of up-to-date knowledge, as you clearly have no idea of the number of operational theatres where RAF air traffic controllers are currently deployed - I suggest you might first want to make some discrete enquiries before replying.
PPS:
I'm just beginning to get in my stride - keep the posts coming!
I must confess that, when I first saw that you had eventually summoned up the mental powers to respond to my last post, I think I felt the vague stirrings of sexual arousal. At least I suspect that’s what it was as, owing to my enormous girth, I haven’t seen Mr Floppy for some considerable time and these days he appears to affect no interest in actual physical activity, unless heavily fortified by one of those popular social stimulants that are advertised so freely on the Internet.
Unfortunately, it’s taken me a little while to respond as I have been travelling into the capital, in preparation for another strenuous week in the office, and whilst in town I reside in my club where 20th century technology is somewhat lacking. Nevertheless, your rather humourless response seemed a trifle angry, the arguments you propose rather poorly structured and one or two of the suggestions a bit physically taxing for a gentleman at my stage in life. Anyway, this evening I was dozing quietly in a comfy old Chesterfield, behind a copy of The Sunday Times considering how best to respond, when I noticed Fatty Soames waddling across the room in my general direction. This was somewhat surprising as, having been my Fag at Eton as well as my social inferior, Soames normally gives me a wide berth - I probably bring back too many memories of him being held upside down in the lavatory, whilst I eagerly flushed the chain. Nevertheless, I allowed him to join me because I felt that, as the Shadow Defence spokesman, he might have something worthwhile to contribute to my forthcoming speech on the poor educational standards and lack of humour prevalent in so many of today’s young servicemen and women.
I showed him your last post and he agreed with me that it was deeply regrettable that these days we are forced to employ ill-bred, semi-literate youths of vague Welsh descent in the armed forces. I made the point that, whilst in the past I have found jobs for one or two of these disadvantaged people as sheep worriers on my country estate, it was in retrospect a mistake to place temptation so easily in their path – although their low sperm count usually prevented any unforeseen accidents. After a number of stiff G&T’s, we did eventually agree that when the next Tory government finally takes office, you and a number of your inbred relations from the Valleys would probably benefit from being re-employed as Fags for the more senior and less physically active members of the RAF.
I know that at first this might seem a bit of a comedown, but I firmly believe that with sufficient training, together with a few generous applications of the birch, you might eventually be suitable material to Fag for me. This new arrangement will be a difficult adjustment for me as well, but in time I imagine that I will eventually become accustomed to your unusual speech patterns, strange odours and physical deformities and besides, it’s not your fault that you’re the unfortunate victim of a bungled forceps delivery. At the weekends I frequently hunt with the Cottesmore and generally decimate wildlife around my estate, but in the current anti-hunt climate, you’ll have to be put to work laying a trail for the hounds to follow. The hounds have, understandably, been trained to chase and attack the lower orders, so you’ll need to be a fairly swift runner, because you’re likely to be torn limb from limb if cornered.
Anyway, as my future Fag you can now cut along to the nearest lavatories and sit on one of the bog seats for a while to practice warming it up for me in future. Look sharp about it boyo or you’ll set a bad example to the other trainee Fags!!
Matoman
PS:
You've rather shot yourself in the foot in your last post, demonstrating yet again your pathetic lack of up-to-date knowledge, as you clearly have no idea of the number of operational theatres where RAF air traffic controllers are currently deployed - I suggest you might first want to make some discrete enquiries before replying.
PPS:
I'm just beginning to get in my stride - keep the posts coming!
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Lancashire, United Kingdom
Age: 53
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Another potentially fine thread topic which has been taken over by a public slagging match.
Can't you chaps take your five-paced-handbag-scrap elsewhere?
Another potentially fine thread topic which has been taken over by a public slagging match.
Can't you chaps take your five-paced-handbag-scrap elsewhere?