Low mood

[Muller]

Hard to know where to start with this one. I suffered a relationship breakup from a partner(Hate that word but trying to minimize any personal details here) quite some time ago. I went through what I thought was the usual range of emotions in the months afterwards, however I am a little concerned it may have descended into something a little more. I am unsure if I may have slipped into a depression/depressive state as a result.

I've had days were I just couldn't really find the energy to get out of bed, and have stayed in the house all day. A total loss of appetite and fairly dramatic weight loss has resulted. It seems that my self esteem took a harder knock then I originally thought, and I feel strong feelings of despair, hopelessness and worthlessness. I have an almost overwhelming constant and unending feeling of anxiety as I go about my daily life, sometimes this becomes even stronger while going to bed and I am having serious sleep difficulties, often waking in the small hours of the morning with a continuous loop of failures playing in my head, and when I wake up it is in a terrible state of anxiety. This also leaves me feeling exhausted and lethargic during the day. It's made me pretty unpleasant company I imagine and I've isolated myself from my usual social circle, partly as a result of not wanting to see my previous partner with his/hers new partner. My new partner is very understanding, but there is only so much I can expect. I feel angry with myself for being so pathetic, from the outside I have a life that's enviable in terms of age, career, financial and health reasons.

What I need some advice on is what to do next. I can't decide if I am just feeling very sorry for myself and being pathetic over something that's happened so long ago and which I should just "get over", and pull myself together or if I need to speak to someone. Further complications are that I am en ex-pat where this type of help is not available, but I would be willing to take some time off to travel to where it could be available.

[Lancastrian]

Muller, first let me say between 5 and 10 per cent of the population suffer from depression and it hits every strata of society! I would also underline to you that such conditions can stand on their own or be an aspect of some other malady. Therefore, people experiencing those aspects that you have described would be well advised to seek an appointment with the GP. Indeed, the very act of "telling it how it feels" is considered the first step to getting back on track. He or she would then be able to assess possible causation/treatment etc. The technical aspects of depression and terminology I shall leave to one side.If you want to know such things, they can be had with ease via the internet. For you......talk to people. Dont shut it away inside of you....and dont think you are any lesser person because of your condition! Start to plan your day and be quite firm about the goals and...realistic! Remember, when you are not busy the mind would quite naturally wander back to those low thoughts....so keep busy.DONT look to ameliorate your feelings via alcohol.....it does not work! Hopefully,on retiring to bed after your planned day, fatigue will take over and plunge you into sleep. Early waking is an aspect I am afraid. However, on a personal note...this is one method to lapse back into sleep. Think of an area you know,and enjoy and mentally walk the area without skipping any aspect! Look at the sights,smell the smells. If it does not work...no problems. Read a book, listen to a radio,write....any thing....but DONT LAY there thinking!

Be sure to eat...the body cannot work withou fuel!

I have not mentioned medication or other methods of treatment on purpose...others are better placed for such advice I feel. Good luck and feel free to have a natter with an ex professional and...sufferer!

[gingernut]

It's likely that a health care professional should be able to differentiate between what could be seen as a "normal" state, and some type of depressive disorder.

My gut feeling from your post, is that you yourself believe that your reaction to your loss is beyond what others would see as normal. The described symptoms point towards a depressive disorder.

I guess if you were my patient, the first thing I'd want to establish, is that your are not suicidal, or have any thoughts of harm to others.

Once satisfied, I guess that there are a few options, including doing nothing other than informal support, referring you to a "talking therapy," or even using medication if your symptoms are severe. Your partners support is paramount to your recovery.

Either way, it's likely that your symptoms will improve with time. (A broad statement based on a few assumptions).

Although the nurse in me wants me to tell you to go and talk about things with a professional, the ppruner in me realises that disclosure may affect your piloting career.

[BeefyBoy]

Muller, my advise to you is to go and see your doctor. I have been through the symptoms that you describe following a traumatic event 10 years ago when I had to give permission for the doctors to switch off my fathers life support machine following a blood clot in his brain.
I have suppresed the emotions regarding that event for years and over the last year it has all come out affecting my work and personal life. I went to my doctor a month ago and have started a course of treatment which involves a mild anti depressent and therapy.
I feel much better after having talked about it.

[Muller]

Thanks all for the replies, very much appreciated, as I am sure you can imagine being able to discuss this frankly while protecting my anonymity is so valuable.

Gingernut

I guess if you were my patient, the first thing I'd want to establish, is that your are not suicidal, or have any thoughts of harm to others.

Really not the case for me. I seem to think about death, dying and funerals for some reason, but absolutely no tendencies such as that. Yes, I am also very worried about the effect this could have on my career, because from what I have read, any medication dealing with this is not compatible with flying and/or holding a first class medical.

I have been through the symptoms that you describe following a traumatic event 10 years ago when I had to give permission for the doctors to switch off my fathers life support machine following a blood clot in his brain.

Thats when I start feeing like a full blown prima donna, who is just wallowing in my own pity. Yours is a genuine traumatic important event, mine was just a split from a not very long/serious relationship.

I can't decide if I am talking myself into this state, or if it is real.

I also just discovered today that one of my parents suffered a depressive event that lasted many months. As has been mentioned it could be hereditary.

[BYALPHAINDIA]

Sounds like a form of 'Bipolar'

It effects alot of people, Some days your body wants to get up, But your mind says no.

Then other days you feel on top of the world and has enough energy to run a marathon.

I know people who have suffered from 'Biploar'

All The Best.

[BYALPHAINDIA]

Depression can last for years or in some people a lifetime.

I don't think that your case is 'Heredatory' I think what has happened is that after your relationship breakdown, You may have never recovered and your depression has continued into other parts of your life?

There's more people suffering from depression than we think, Even if they don't take medication, They could still hold a class 1 medical.

Some people can work with the suffering, And others cannot, That's obviously when they go to their GP and put their hands up and be honest about themselves.

Some cases may not be reported to their GP and they carry on with their daily routine.