Best new diet
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Best new diet
At last - diet & fitness advice I can live with!
>
> > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
> > true?
> > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
> > waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
> > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
> > extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer?
> > Take a nap.
> >
> > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
> > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and
> > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an
> > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain?
> > Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
> > vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily
> > allowance of vegetable products.
> >
> > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine,
> > that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
> > more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms
> > up!
> >
> > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> > A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one
to
> > one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
> >
> > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
> > exercise program?
> > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good
> >
> > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> > A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil.
> > In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be
> > bad for you?
> >
> > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the
> > middle?
> > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
> > should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> >
> > Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> > A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
> > It's the best feel-good food around!
> >
> > Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> > A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
> >
> > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
> >
> > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
> > about food and diets and remember,
> >
> > "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving
> > safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid
in
> > sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body
> > thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What
a
> > Ride!"
>
> > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
> > true?
> > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
> > waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
> > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
> > extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer?
> > Take a nap.
> >
> > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
> > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and
> > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an
> > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain?
> > Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
> > vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily
> > allowance of vegetable products.
> >
> > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine,
> > that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
> > more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms
> > up!
> >
> > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> > A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one
to
> > one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
> >
> > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
> > exercise program?
> > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good
> >
> > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> > A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil.
> > In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be
> > bad for you?
> >
> > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the
> > middle?
> > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
> > should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> >
> > Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> > A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
> > It's the best feel-good food around!
> >
> > Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> > A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
> >
> > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
> >
> > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
> > about food and diets and remember,
> >
> > "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving
> > safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid
in
> > sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body
> > thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What
a
> > Ride!"
