Best new diet
At last - diet & fitness advice I can live with!
> > > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this > > true? > > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't > > waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up > > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can > > extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? > > Take a nap. > > > > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? > > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and > > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an > > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? > > Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy > > vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily > > allowance of vegetable products. > > > > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? > > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, > > that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even > > more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms > > up! > > > > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? > > A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to > > one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. > > > > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular > > exercise program? > > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good > > > > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? > > A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. > > In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be > > bad for you? > > > > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the > > middle? > > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You > > should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. > > > > Q: Is chocolate bad for me? > > A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! > > It's the best feel-good food around! > > > > Q: Is swimming good for your figure? > > A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. > > > > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? > > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! > > > > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had > > about food and diets and remember, > > > > "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of >arriving > > safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in > > sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body > > thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a > > Ride!" |
This would probably do better in JetBlast. ;)
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