Funny comments made by students
Joined: Dec 2001
Aviation Qualifications: Military
Posts: 1,286
Likes: 20
From: I have no idea but the view's great.
R/T Yesterday:
'G-XX report your point of departure'
'Report point of departure G-XX'
Silence....
'G-XX report your point of departure'
'Report point of departure G-XX'
Silence....
"G-XX What is the point of your departure?"
"Nothing really, just a local bimble."
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,122
Likes: 0
From: Neither Here Nor There
I nearly choked on my lunch earlier today.
A fellow instructor, whilst still in the Ops Room, was explaining the art of taxi-ing to a new male student.
After explaining the bit about using rudder pedals and toe brakes together he moved on to moving your heels onto the floor of the aircraft whilst resting the balls of your feet on the rudder pedals. However, it came out as:
"You then move your feet down and rest your balls on the pedals"
I wasn't the only one chuckling merrily.
Absolute class!!
A fellow instructor, whilst still in the Ops Room, was explaining the art of taxi-ing to a new male student.
After explaining the bit about using rudder pedals and toe brakes together he moved on to moving your heels onto the floor of the aircraft whilst resting the balls of your feet on the rudder pedals. However, it came out as:
"You then move your feet down and rest your balls on the pedals"
I wasn't the only one chuckling merrily.
Absolute class!!
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 264
Likes: 0
From: Here and there
I asked my low time PPL student to perform a clearing turn in the run-up area prior to departure.
He asked, "Do you want me to do the clearing turn in a straight line?"
He wanted to study engineering at the university.
He asked, "Do you want me to do the clearing turn in a straight line?"
He wanted to study engineering at the university.
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Likes: 0
From: Ipswich
Problems identifying airfield
Me: "Can you see the airfield?"
Student: "No"
Me: "You can see the hangar, the door is open"
Student: "Oh, you mean that large thing like a garage"
Me (deadpan): "Yes... A garage... For aeroplanes... Its called a hangar"
Student: "No"
Me: "You can see the hangar, the door is open"
Student: "Oh, you mean that large thing like a garage"
Me (deadpan): "Yes... A garage... For aeroplanes... Its called a hangar"
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 698
Likes: 0
From: Australia
I had an enthusiastic "wannabe" come up to me in a pub one night after finding out I flew.
U know the type, done lots of hours on Microsoft Flight Sim, knows everything, would be able to fly better than me without a doubt
After asking what I'd done (instructing, then photography flying) he asked me rather condescendingly:
"and one day, do you hope to be allowed to take passengers up?".
U know the type, done lots of hours on Microsoft Flight Sim, knows everything, would be able to fly better than me without a doubt
After asking what I'd done (instructing, then photography flying) he asked me rather condescendingly:
"and one day, do you hope to be allowed to take passengers up?".
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,818
Likes: 64
From: these mist covered mountains are a home now for me.
"Mayday Mayday Mayday, Alpha Bravo Charlie, Engine Failure approx 20 miles north of Bumfuq, landing in field, 2 POB"
"ABC, confirm ACTUAL Mayday?" queries Air Traffic.
"Affirm, ABC Mayday" immediately followed by calmer female instructor's voice "That's a negative for ABC, PRACTICE mayday only - apologies...."
"ABC, confirm ACTUAL Mayday?" queries Air Traffic.
"Affirm, ABC Mayday" immediately followed by calmer female instructor's voice "That's a negative for ABC, PRACTICE mayday only - apologies...."
king muppet... I woulda got my arse kicked for that... 
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 208
Likes: 0
From: Sweden
Todays genius reported clearance to abc 1500 feet twice after being told 1000 feet. After I'd corrected him he said it again the third time, "clearance abc 1500 feet". It's difficult sometimes... Gotta love 'em!
Avoid imitations
Joined: Nov 2000
Aviation Qualifications: ATPL
Posts: 15,114
Likes: 1,088
From: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
In the Jet Provost, pressing either transmit switch made both pilots' microphones live on the radio, so in dual aircraft everyone had to be careful what was said.
One day, on Linton Radar, we heard: "Mayday, Mayday, practice Mayday". Immediately followed by: "YOU f***ing idiot!"
One day, on Linton Radar, we heard: "Mayday, Mayday, practice Mayday". Immediately followed by: "YOU f***ing idiot!"
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,581
Likes: 0
From: flyover country USA
When I told one very slightly pushy, wealthy and powerful student that I was instrument rated, he said, "So we can go up, whatever the weather then?"
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 104
Likes: 0
From: LGW
I have to confess to being (past tense) an MS flight sim pilot... Thought instrument flight was, well, just watching the instruments...
We went up into the base of cloud on probably my 7th or 8th lesson.
I took control. We began turning right. And kept turning right.... And in fact did a 90 degree turn at about 10 degrees of bank, and I was helpless!
Scary stuff.
Forever humbled, I have soloed and plan to keep up the flying as its been too long....
Oh my contribution:
Practice forced landings...
"Have you selected a field"
"Yep"
"Which one?" (About 300 feet)
"Er, that one"
"What this one here?" (Just disappearing under the nose)
"No, that one with the Land Rover"
"I have control" (Full power and nose up pretty sharpish)
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NBphvPd_4kA
We went up into the base of cloud on probably my 7th or 8th lesson.
I took control. We began turning right. And kept turning right.... And in fact did a 90 degree turn at about 10 degrees of bank, and I was helpless!
Scary stuff.
Forever humbled, I have soloed and plan to keep up the flying as its been too long....
Oh my contribution:
Practice forced landings...
"Have you selected a field"
"Yep"
"Which one?" (About 300 feet)
"Er, that one"
"What this one here?" (Just disappearing under the nose)
"No, that one with the Land Rover"
"I have control" (Full power and nose up pretty sharpish)
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NBphvPd_4kA
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 85
Likes: 0
From: USA
Matt Damon
St. Augustine Regional Tower: "Aircraft entering my airspace, what is your call-sign and why are you not announcing yourself ?"
Student: "Matt Demon"
Saint Augustine Regional Tower: "Aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately! You are in my airspace and you coming in too fast!"
Student: "Maaaaaaaat Daeeeemoooooon !..."
(true story)
Student: "Matt Demon"
Saint Augustine Regional Tower: "Aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately! You are in my airspace and you coming in too fast!"
Student: "Maaaaaaaat Daeeeemoooooon !..."
(true story)