Funny comments made by students
The Original Whirly
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Belper, Derbyshire, UK
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I just did a count. 26 funny comments from male students or not stated; 6 from female students. So, fredfred, perhaps your comment
was somewhat unnecessary. Are "us girls" perhaps a little over-sensitive in the admittedly male-oriented field of aviation?
However, Mad Girl's comment
is perhaps something that more notice should be taken of. I'm seriously wondering if men and women learn flying differently, as are several other instructors I know. The problem is, I've only had one female student too...there just aren't enough of us for anyone to be sure!
However, thinking about it, every student is individual anyway, and every one of them is different. So as long as you're aware of the other person and ready to vary your teaching methods when necessary (including only using appropriate mneumonics!!!) I'm not sure that it matters.
Enough serious stuff! Back to funny comments please - I like this thread
Well I can't help but notice that quite a few of the funny stories are about female students.
However, Mad Girl's comment
There's been a fair amount of learning how to communicate between us
However, thinking about it, every student is individual anyway, and every one of them is different. So as long as you're aware of the other person and ready to vary your teaching methods when necessary (including only using appropriate mneumonics!!!) I'm not sure that it matters.
Enough serious stuff! Back to funny comments please - I like this thread
For the girls. .
I have noticed female students are the best to teach. Male students (including me) seem to have a way of interpreting what you say into their own idea of how things should be done. Female students do (more or less) exactly what you say, which can lead to some confusion sometimes but once this is established things run more smoothly. .
What about FREDA and HASEL? Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
AWFUL MFI SHAM? (kitchens?)
Back to funny comments. . .
I have noticed female students are the best to teach. Male students (including me) seem to have a way of interpreting what you say into their own idea of how things should be done. Female students do (more or less) exactly what you say, which can lead to some confusion sometimes but once this is established things run more smoothly. .
mneumonics that have a female / male orientation rather than the other way round to help me remember stuff.
AWFUL MFI SHAM? (kitchens?)
Back to funny comments. . .
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Quote:-
What about FREDA and HASEL? Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
It may help if you had another S & L in HASEL
. (HASSELL)
(Sorry - uncalled for, but couldn't resist!!!....I do aeros and have had this one drummed into me - Height, airframe, security(everything locked down), straps, engine, location & lookout)
This is more the type of thing I had in mind (& I remember both...so it works!!)....
True +/- Variation = Magnetic +/- Deviation = Compass or as the boss says... "True Virgins Make Dull Company"
It can be done " Cadbury's Dairy Milk, Very Tasty" but a) doesn't have the right ring to it and b) It's the wrong way round for the plog.
Right....Back to the funny stuff please...
What about FREDA and HASEL? Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?
It may help if you had another S & L in HASEL
. (HASSELL)(Sorry - uncalled for, but couldn't resist!!!....I do aeros and have had this one drummed into me - Height, airframe, security(everything locked down), straps, engine, location & lookout)
This is more the type of thing I had in mind (& I remember both...so it works!!)....
True +/- Variation = Magnetic +/- Deviation = Compass or as the boss says... "True Virgins Make Dull Company"
It can be done " Cadbury's Dairy Milk, Very Tasty" but a) doesn't have the right ring to it and b) It's the wrong way round for the plog.
Right....Back to the funny stuff please...
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At times I've had more female students than male students - don't know why. I think the differences between individual students is much greater than any male / female differences. I just think of them all as students.
Anyway, since this thread is about funny comments I've had quite a few. One that sticks in my mind was the first sentence spoken by a (foreign) student (about 15 hours in his log book) on being introduced to me for the first time. He said "I need to do my first solo today". One glance out of the door at the windsock made this quite funny.
Anyway, since this thread is about funny comments I've had quite a few. One that sticks in my mind was the first sentence spoken by a (foreign) student (about 15 hours in his log book) on being introduced to me for the first time. He said "I need to do my first solo today". One glance out of the door at the windsock made this quite funny.
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students
Student on final approach,
Student, "I'm going to be sick"
Me, "not in my plane"
Student, "i am"
After thundering the aircraft to greaser of a landing, we hand brake the bird off the active and beyond the hold point,open the door, and,
"now you can"
No smelly aircraft
Student, "I'm going to be sick"
Me, "not in my plane"
Student, "i am"
After thundering the aircraft to greaser of a landing, we hand brake the bird off the active and beyond the hold point,open the door, and,
"now you can"
No smelly aircraft
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Just a last comment about working on the male-female instructor-student relationship... While doing my instructor rating, my instructor suggested I shouldn't refer to the fuel selector as a fuel cock to male students. I couldn't tell if this was because he thought this would make me uncomfortable or the student... I only got the ticket recently so done stuff all instructing yet, but so far I feel breaking the habit of all my training to pronounce se-lec-tor is just a hassle, so I decided to stick with the short version until I see otherwise for myself. 
Don't know, tell me boys, how would you take it?
...Besides, S messes up my nmemonics!
Don't know, tell me boys, how would you take it?
...Besides, S messes up my nmemonics!
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Okay, that's it, I can't resist.
As mentioned in the post above I've only done a minute amount of instructing, but as my two years of checkin/airport customer services comes to an end to finally JUST FLY, I'm going to share just a tiny scraping of the idiot passenger stories I have endured.
Moron on foggy morning, checking in right beside a window where you can't even see runway: It's not too foggy to fly, is it?
What I wanted to say: What a clever paradox. Either it's foggy, or you can fly, you numbnuts
What I said: Unfortunately it has reached that point, and this morning's flight will be delayed, very sorry about that sir.
Moron arriving to check in AT departure time: I paid for that seat and I am getting on that flight.
Me: I'm sorry but I am not able to check you in. [Layman's version of boarding and loadsheet preparation requirements]
Moron in condescending tone: Look, love, I fly all over the place for work, I know how it all works, so don't give me that rubbish!
What I wanted to say: Oh, YOU know how it all works eh?! [Summary of flight qualifications and experience]
And what remotely experienced passenger aims to turn up when the plane's off blocks anyway???
What I said: I'm very sorry sir but I cannot check you in at this point.
Moron passenger arriving at 1:30 for a 1:10 flight: Hi, I'd like to check in for the Nelson flight.
Me: I'm sorry mam, that flight departed on time at 1:10. It is now 1:30.
Moron passenger: No it isn't, it's 12:40.
Nothing to say!!!!!
A few days later the passenger laid a complaint against me for denying her travel when she tried to check in on time.
Moron passenger AT boarding time, as I walk up to the PA: All right, we're OBVIOUSLY not boarding on time, now this is hopeless, I have places to be you know and -
I said what I wanted to say: - Sir, one moment please.
And I pressed the PA button to make the boarding call.
Oh, and Americans who always seem to call in saying they're departing from "New Zealand Airport." Makes flying here sound pretty boring if there's only one!
...Not even scratching the surface!!
Sorry to go off-subject, it's part of my self-therapy and recovery programme from Airline Customer Service.
Please, continue the original discussion.
As mentioned in the post above I've only done a minute amount of instructing, but as my two years of checkin/airport customer services comes to an end to finally JUST FLY, I'm going to share just a tiny scraping of the idiot passenger stories I have endured.
Moron on foggy morning, checking in right beside a window where you can't even see runway: It's not too foggy to fly, is it?
What I wanted to say: What a clever paradox. Either it's foggy, or you can fly, you numbnuts
What I said: Unfortunately it has reached that point, and this morning's flight will be delayed, very sorry about that sir.
Moron arriving to check in AT departure time: I paid for that seat and I am getting on that flight.
Me: I'm sorry but I am not able to check you in. [Layman's version of boarding and loadsheet preparation requirements]
Moron in condescending tone: Look, love, I fly all over the place for work, I know how it all works, so don't give me that rubbish!
What I wanted to say: Oh, YOU know how it all works eh?! [Summary of flight qualifications and experience]
And what remotely experienced passenger aims to turn up when the plane's off blocks anyway???What I said: I'm very sorry sir but I cannot check you in at this point.
Moron passenger arriving at 1:30 for a 1:10 flight: Hi, I'd like to check in for the Nelson flight.
Me: I'm sorry mam, that flight departed on time at 1:10. It is now 1:30.
Moron passenger: No it isn't, it's 12:40.
Nothing to say!!!!!
A few days later the passenger laid a complaint against me for denying her travel when she tried to check in on time.
Moron passenger AT boarding time, as I walk up to the PA: All right, we're OBVIOUSLY not boarding on time, now this is hopeless, I have places to be you know and -
I said what I wanted to say: - Sir, one moment please.
And I pressed the PA button to make the boarding call.
Oh, and Americans who always seem to call in saying they're departing from "New Zealand Airport." Makes flying here sound pretty boring if there's only one!
...Not even scratching the surface!!
Sorry to go off-subject, it's part of my self-therapy and recovery programme from Airline Customer Service.
Please, continue the original discussion.
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i have also done my fair share of check in, best comment i ever got was a pap trying to upgraded to a extra leg room seat, we at the time called them exit seats, her responce was " I DONT WANT A SEAT NEAR THE DOOR, IT WILL BE WINDY!"
I asked her too report to the cabin crew the moment she could feel a draft from the door!
I asked her too report to the cabin crew the moment she could feel a draft from the door!
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In the days before I became an instructor I was an air trafficker.
Now cast your minds back to the days when we had an airforce and RAF Finningley daily dispatched flottilas of Varsity aircraft in the hope of circumnavigating the United Kingdom.
I was a radar controller at Moray Radar (RNAS Lossiemouth) when my eleventh Varsity student navigator checks in with...
"Moray Radar FYG (loud bang rather like nav rul e bouncing of a bone dome followed by anther voice "WRONG") FGY58(bang "WRONG")85 25 miles SE (bang "WRONG")SW Aberdeen .......
Seemed to work by the time he passed abeam the field he was word perfect. Always wondered if he got through the course..
Now cast your minds back to the days when we had an airforce and RAF Finningley daily dispatched flottilas of Varsity aircraft in the hope of circumnavigating the United Kingdom.
I was a radar controller at Moray Radar (RNAS Lossiemouth) when my eleventh Varsity student navigator checks in with...
"Moray Radar FYG (loud bang rather like nav rul e bouncing of a bone dome followed by anther voice "WRONG") FGY58(bang "WRONG")85 25 miles SE (bang "WRONG")SW Aberdeen .......
Seemed to work by the time he passed abeam the field he was word perfect. Always wondered if he got through the course..
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As told to me by a fellow instructor:
I was in the pattern making touch & go's with a student under night conditions. The active runway at the time, runway 11, has holding points on both sides; on one side was a B-757 waiting to line up and on the other side were two F-15's also holding for departure. So I told my student "you'd better do good kid, you've got some pretty experienced audience."
We were turning final for runway 11 when the tower cleared us for a touch & go and he made this unforgettable readback:
".....uuuh cleared touch one, gogo, FTE."
Not a word was spoken on the frequency for a good minute.
I was in the pattern making touch & go's with a student under night conditions. The active runway at the time, runway 11, has holding points on both sides; on one side was a B-757 waiting to line up and on the other side were two F-15's also holding for departure. So I told my student "you'd better do good kid, you've got some pretty experienced audience."
We were turning final for runway 11 when the tower cleared us for a touch & go and he made this unforgettable readback:
".....uuuh cleared touch one, gogo, FTE."
Not a word was spoken on the frequency for a good minute.
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I was sitting next to an american guy on pax plane landing at detroit before sunset. He was looking out of the window, he turned to me and asked me 'what's that big round orange thing in the sky?'
I politely said 'That is the SUN you MORON'
I have some good jokes too for my next post
I politely said 'That is the SUN you MORON'
I have some good jokes too for my next post
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Towards the end of a circuit bashing detail with a particularly poor student.
Full flap selected, throttle closed, speed way too high, aircraft seriously high on approach and no chance of a successful landing.
Instructor: Do you think we should go-around?
Student: We CAN'T go-around. We're running late and I've still got to pick the kids up from school.
Full flap selected, throttle closed, speed way too high, aircraft seriously high on approach and no chance of a successful landing.
Instructor: Do you think we should go-around?
Student: We CAN'T go-around. We're running late and I've still got to pick the kids up from school.
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Type conversion onto Auster
Student makes heavy landing punching the undercarriage strut through the flloor. Aircraft slides to a stop, student says
CALL YOURSELF A FxxxxxG INSTRUCTOR?
Opens the door gets out runs across the airfield and is never see again!
ASK CAPTAIN JON
Student makes heavy landing punching the undercarriage strut through the flloor. Aircraft slides to a stop, student says
CALL YOURSELF A FxxxxxG INSTRUCTOR?
Opens the door gets out runs across the airfield and is never see again!
ASK CAPTAIN JON
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I could write a book on these, oh hang on I am!
Student from Shobdon overhead Staverton back to Shobdon sets off at 4pm when it is due to get dark at 5pm. Lands at 7.20pm at Manchester International airport unannounced and non radio.(never flown at night before)
First words to instructor who collected him.
I THOUGHT I HAD LANDED AT BIRMINGHAM UNTIL THEY ARRESTED ME!
Second words
I FOUND I WAS AT 12,000 FEET AFTER I FINALLY FOUND THE COCKPIT LIGHTING.
ASK CAPTAIN JON
Student from Shobdon overhead Staverton back to Shobdon sets off at 4pm when it is due to get dark at 5pm. Lands at 7.20pm at Manchester International airport unannounced and non radio.(never flown at night before)
First words to instructor who collected him.
I THOUGHT I HAD LANDED AT BIRMINGHAM UNTIL THEY ARRESTED ME!
Second words
I FOUND I WAS AT 12,000 FEET AFTER I FINALLY FOUND THE COCKPIT LIGHTING.
ASK CAPTAIN JON
Last edited by rondon9897; 28th Mar 2007 at 14:01.
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Instructor in tandem seat jet trainer to student after really rough landing
FOR FXXKS SAKE MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO ROUND OUT OR YOU WILL HAVE THE NOSE WHEEL OFF THIS SUCKER.
STUDENT --- SORRY SIR, I THOUGHT YOU WERE FLYING IT!
ASK CAPTAIN JON
And all of the above are my copyright!
FOR FXXKS SAKE MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO ROUND OUT OR YOU WILL HAVE THE NOSE WHEEL OFF THIS SUCKER.
STUDENT --- SORRY SIR, I THOUGHT YOU WERE FLYING IT!
ASK CAPTAIN JON
And all of the above are my copyright!
Thread Starter
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x/c
Student pilot on his very first cross country flight doing a perfect job. He's right on track, right on time knowing where he's at all the time. On the way back he's getting of track, continues and about 5 minutes later he starts realizing that he doesn't have a clue where he's at. Starts looking around, swaying around his chart looks at me and says: "Now this is going to be very thrilling when I'm all by myself on my first solo x/c".