Words that make Engineers smile

[maxrevs]

I thought that I'd see if we are all on the same wavelength when it comes to the BS that we've all had to swallow. Here goes:
"If you can hang on a little longer, things will get better".
"I know he's the bosses son, but he can do the job, I'm sure".
"I know the budget's tight, but they realy needed that Coke machine upstairs".
"We're getting a jet!".
"You know how much you mean to the company".
"Just hang in there, there's a light at the end of the tunnel".
"No, that's NOT the train".
"I just want to borrow it for a short time, I'm a pilot, you can trust me".
Go for it, Max.

------------------
When I push the panic button, the breaker pops!

[only1leftmate!]

I thought that the light at the end of the tunnel had been switched off as an efficiency measure!

[red 5]

Nil Further.

[staff west]

For Information only
No: 2 engine fails to achieve t/o torque within 10 secs

Ha ha

Any more sardines for the can

[4Rvibes]

How about:
"We've got to be lean and mean", meaning "That's why you haven't had a payrise in four years".

"I know the Quality Derpartment stipulated this improvement on the last audit", meaning "We still have eight payments to go on the mahogany boardroom table and the deep pile carpet with the company logo on it".

"Hangar heating...but it all wafts out when you open the doors in the morning", meaning, "F*** you, you are obviously a lower class than our secretaries and QED don't deserve it".

4R

[jetfueldrinker]

"Leave it with us for a few days while we think on it".

Meaning "Yes it is a good idea, but it means spending a couple of quid to get the perfect solution, and if we don't mention it, maybe you will forget about it".

[Aerosexual]

The management favorite at the moment:

We will look into it, and take it on board!!

Your all over paided prima donna's.
( Ceo's message to it's LAME's)

Cheers

[airbornespanner2]

"The new equipment for the hangar has been aproved in principle"
Meaning "we know that you want it but your not going to get it"

[HeliEng]

The one that you always get, and it is always from Pilots, is:

"Yep, I'm ready to go, I'll be there in 2 seconds"

An hour and a half later, and you are sat in the crew room about to send out a search party!!


'Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue'

[NFF_PRF]

BA blokes will know this one,

"Trust me guys"......Alan Macdonald

[morroccomole]

"Hi, my friends and I are new Cabin Crew and wondered if you could show us the hotspots in town tonight?"

[wa731]

I'd like to be there that day,Morroccomole,


Pilot; There's a carton of beer in the
crew room fridge boy's,thanks for the
good work
Has been known to happen...occasionally!

[time-ex]

It's a FET - Fully Engineered Task - all the seals you require will be with the pump when you get it.

[The Weasel]

The common ones at our place are

'Team player': Someone who is not afraid to ignore manuals and procedures when his manager requires it to achieve targets. 'Airworthy': Although obviously U/S it is ulikely to prevent the aircraft reaching the arrival airfield without an incident. 'You are expected to take responsibility': ie Do not adhere to manuals & procedures ( if you do and something goes wrong then it can not be down to you)....a clever one this!

[KwikPhix]

[ 15 July 2001: Message edited by: KwikPhix ]

[shytalk]

Kenya's I just HATE Kenya's
Oooh, while you're there Kenya just...

[Mike E]

(pilot on phone from down-line) "A/C is serviceable, no defects" Translation "we'll be handing you an A4 sheet full of snag when we arrive"

[groncher]

Actually happened to me.... šIf YOU wonŽt sign it, IŽll find someone who WILL!" Now
thereŽs a threat.....


"My A**hole detectorŽs going haywire!"

[criticalmass]

A conversation overheard in a hangar on a naval air station that will remain anonymous:-

"Well, have you fixed it?"
"Yeah, it's near enough."
"Near enough's not good enough, it's gotta be exact!"
"All right, it's exact."
"Well that's near enough then!"