How to better deal with Upset and Disgruntled passengers?
 

I've been a flight attendant now for over 10 years and yet I still struggle to deal with disgruntled and upset passengers without taking it personally. One would think I would be use to it by now, however i still find these situations make me stressed and angry. I often question myself if I'm in the right industry but at this stage in my life working as cabin crew is all I've done and I'm not trained in anything else.

Any tips or suggestions on how to better deal with horrible and nasty passengers without falling in a heap.

be concerned, ask them to state the problem clearly, tell them what you can & can't do

NEVER lose your temper or take it personally

I'm not connected with the Airline Industry but do have to deal with the public on a daily basis and have done most of my working life. I too often found it quite difficult to deal with angry and upset customers and decided to try and find a better way of dealing with things as I felt that my ability to deal with the situation in a more professional manner would probably help end the situation more amicably.

I did some reading and found 'Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and Influence people' one of the best books i've ever read and it not only helped me in my professional life but also in my personal life to. My wife thinks it ridiculous that I have to read about what she calls 'common sense' but that's perhaps because she's never read the book or others like it. I'd highly recommend the book to anybody who has to deal with people on a professional basis and in fact i've even bought it for some of my customers who have in turn read it and started to deal with situations in a much more positive way

Spill hot coffee into their lap

In general when in passenger facing situations at, for example, a ticket desk, I found a good approach was to let them talk until they run out of things to say, whilst listening and making the odd note, which will often make them a little more circumspect about what they say. Then ask them what they would like us to do about the situation and see how far we can meet their demands. Very often their demand is less than the company might have offered, in which case it is easy to exceed their expectation.

On the other in situations when I am not representing, or accountable to, another entity I will give them the benefit of what I really think!

I also often remind myself when people are rude, bullying, aggressive and unreasonable that they are they to allow me to prove my superiority over them. Arrogant in the extreme, but it works.

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply appreciate all your help.

Disgruntled passengers? Bottle of Champers to take off would usually regruntle me :}

Years ago - US internal - Bas fam spread all over cabin - flt attendant says "Your children . . (Bas thinks 'Oh BH, what have they done') . . are so well mannered. Here's a bottle to take with you."
Didn't share it with the little monkeys, though! :E

Surely that would be ungruntle Bas?

I think some attitude adjustment on your part would work wonders. Just saying... ;)

I'm a pilot, not a FA.

But i've learned a thing or two about passengers.

One...first approach the situation as if you knew the passenger was scared beyond belief, of what it almost doesn't matter. Be very kind...take a few minutes to talk to them (yes I know you are busy). Listen to them. Are they going to a funeral? ARe they without money? Are they ill in some way. Treat them very well, take them politely to a quiet place and talk things over. Maybe they are worried about flying and would like to meet the pilot. Maybe their luggage is lost or something else you can really help with.

OR

On occasion you have to exercise authority. I've done it once and it worked great. A passenger was very upset about going to a thanksgiving family get together and didn't want to go, she was arguing with her husband and it was a terrible situation. not a heckuva lot of time to deal with it.

After making sure the woman was not being kidnapped or anything really nutty or bad, I made it clear to them both the very nature of the world on an airliner.

I said: I want you to understand that an airliner is not a Democracy. I am the boss, PERIOD. And the flight attendants are my deputies and if you don't do what they request, I will land the plane and have you arrested. I gave them a choice of getting off the plane or living by my rules for the length of the flight.

They stayed on and there were no further problems.

First love them and care for them.

Then order them and offer them arrest or removal.

I once took a scared passenger to the cockpit during boarding...had her shake hands with the copilot and myself. Explained to her the noises and gadgets and everything I could think of her. I personally took her to her seat, helped her with her seatbelt (a mature woman, not a young hot chick) and shook her hand and told her I would be extra careful.

The flight went fine and she enjoyed it. I still remember this from over a dozen years ago.

Get involved, most passengers are nice people in their world, but they are in your world, so take care of them...extra care if you have to.

;-)

Although usually levelheaded, there have been a few times when I have indeed lost my gruntles. I expect that others have, too, usually when arrangements one thought were clear, precise, and confirmed, turn out to not be so. (An incident at a Holiday Inn comes to mind.)
In such cases, thought I might have said unkind things to the company's representative, it's never been a personal thing. It's the company I'm angry at. And at that moment in time the company has hired YOU to be their interface, so it is your unfortunate lot to have to listen to me.
Is that fair? -- no, of course not.
Do I later regret what you had to endure? -- surely.
But that's not the point.

Hi Melbro,
It does seem to get easier as you get older not to take it personally when someone is shouting at you for something that isn't your fault. Each crewmember seems to have a different way of dealing with it. You could try imagining them naked while they are ranting, picture your empty uniform being shouted at, console yourself that at least you don't have to live with them, or any number of other things.
I tend now to try and see it as a challenge and the only way I can come out of it feeling good is to win them over. The best questions to ask them is "What can I do right now to make this better?" or "What would you like from me?" If there is nothing that can be done i.e. the weather is bad, the aircraft is broken, etc, then they will generally come to that conclusion themselves. If its beyond your control, then provide them with the means to contact someone who can help. And I remember one very effective remark from a crew member being "Don't shout at me sir, I am the only person here who can help you!"
Then go home and pour a glass of something appropriate and offer a prayer of thanks that nobody in your family would be so rude to someone who was just doing their job!:)

Quite simply, the more irate the passenger gets, the more polite you should become. I know this is a lot harder to do than say. But if you can manage it, then that is the best option. I commend Sevenstrokeroll for his wise advise and suggest that he/she has a genuine grip of most things that you are likely to encounter during a flight.

I had a mother and daughter combo on a flight-mother was terrified of flying and daughter was getting stroppy on behalf of her mother. I chose to ignore the daughter and concentrate on Mum. Once I got talking to her and got her seated she became a lot calmer and the daughter backed off. Then the trouble started. During the drinks round I ran over Mum's foot with the cart, during Duty Free, one of the perfumes fell off my tray onto her lap, and the coup de grace was during the meal. The tin foil from one of the meals caught on her hairnet and she had to be untangled from it. As she was getting off I told her that I hoped she felt better about flying, she replied "Oh yes dear, I didn't think about the flying at all-I was more afraid of you!" Well, I count it as a success :ok:

Dawdler
 

Dear Dawdler:

a sincere thank you. and my wishes for safe flying to you and yours.

---

Melbro...original poster. Maybe being a FA is not for you. At times I've questioned my choice...I wish I had taken that job offered to me by apple computer in 1982...I'd be richer now.

But then, for me, being a pilot was pretty darn cool...great view...and it made me who I am today...for better or for worse.

Try something new...if you have only done one thing in your life, you may have another six to go.

I've been a min wage worker in a hardware store
I've been a soldier in the US Army (honorably discharged)
I've been a drummer (US Army Band)and a darn good one.
I've worked in a crummy pizza joint to help my way through college
I've been a flight instructor, instrument instructor, multi engine instructor and every other crappy job (except for crop dusting) in flying.

And an airline pilot.

if you are doubting your choice, try something on your days off...you may end up appreciating those people who make your life so difficult.

airlines used to hire really good looking girls for a reason to be FA's. a smile, a kind word, even a pat on the shoulder goes much farther if given by a cute girl.

things are different now...anyone can be a FA...you are there to serve the passengers, not the other way round...and only in bonafide emergencies should you kick someone in the butt to get them doing what needs to be done.

;-)

Empathy is the word usually used...

Put yourself in their situation, see things from their point of view - it certainly helped me through a lot of situations...

I've never been c/c - I worked in the rail industry as a train conductor, which is a similar job in many respects, being responsible for the safety of passengers, as well as being THE only visible member of front line staff when it all goes wrong!

It doesn't always get easier, but 'putting yourself in their shoes' is certainly a very good starting point...

Irate passengers
 

Well done all of you. I've never seen a thread in which every comment (til this one) is so constructive and full of decent common sense. As a passenger with over a thousand flights between 2000 and 2010, I've seen it all. Apart from three occasions (all domestic, one out of Milwaukee, one out of Coffs Harbour and one out of Tucuman) I have never observed (and, on occasion, helped) in a confrontation situation and not been impressed by its handling by the staff.

..and if any of the CC of 208 ex Miami 22 January see this.

Thanks for the fantastic sevice ( mere WT) :ok:but I imagine there are people out there who ( for whatever reason) could find fault with you.

I have flown at least 150 times and never had anything negative from a cc -thank you all. Any problems have been with other pasemgers viz pushing back seats into my meal tray, talking over the safety announcement and the Captain's welcome, hogging the overhead lockers, walking aound when the seat belt sign is on and unbuckling as soon as the wheels touch down ( sound familiar?) := Yes I know that the number of passengers is greater than the cabin crew so statistically but even so......
ps why is the club cabin always the most untidy after the flight? Are business people more likelyto be this way?

I agree....just stay calm and smile a lot. The OP probably works for one of
the bogan carriers - and bogans are certainly not worth losing your temper
(and possibly your job) over.

Besides - you don't know whether there's some bloody w@nker on board
surreptitiously recording the event to plaster all over the internet.

Gear & Flap will kill you, everything else will embarse you :ok:

Unhappy Pax Types
 

There are basically two types of unhappy passengers.
1.Those who are unhappy with their circumstances
2.Those who are unhappy in themselves
You can help the first...you cant help the second.
They are not unhappy with you...they dont know you.It is not personal
Listen..when they draw breath introduce yourself by name..you have now become a person.
Acknowledge their problem
Evaluate what is being said
Respond.
The LAER principal.
If you are being threatened and fear for your safety inform them of that
By this stage you will have helped 85% of passnegers.The other 15% you can never help.
Never tell lies or make information up.You will always be caught out
Always always remember...it is not personal...losing your temper will never achieve a successful outcome for them or you.
Reading attending courses and personal experience have led me to form this method of dealing with difficult situations/passengers
Good luck

Don't loose any sleep over it melbro, passengers really need their heads smashed against the ceiling during unanticipated turbulence. They forget even flying with a premium airline, that they are on an airplane and not at Rockpool in Sydney. Some of their requests are so selfish and unrealistic. The best advice is just to bite your tongue, I know its hard even for me but there is nothing worse than boarding a wide body aircraft then getting 500 passengers boarding with 3000 bags complaining about wanting a window seat, extra leg room, that their husband is on the other side of the aircraft, that they left something behind at security or that they have a not ordered a special meal or that the fat person next to them stinks of sweat and wants to change seats already on your oversold flight. Just nod and say i'll get the manager to come speak to you.

Thanks for your support everyone keep the suggestions coming. Loving this thread :)

What A Cop Out
 

Just nod and say i'll get the manager to come speak to you
You just there for the shopping...?

Tips?

First one would be to delete the word "...but..." from your dictionary. Pretend it never existed. Makes arguments over your comments less likely. "I know you want extra legroom but there aren't any spare seats" compared to "I know you want extra legroom and I'd let you have one had there been any spare seats". It probably doesn't work so well on a computer screen but in real life it seems to be helpful. (Wife is a Pshrink/union negaotiator and thus a highly experienced and very devious bitch when it comes to arguing)

Second would be to know the difference between open hand gestures and closed hand gestures. Seems to go back to caveman times when a closed fist represented a sharp rock or a pointed stick that the caveman was going to use on you. If he waved an open hand (standard worldwide "hello" gesture) it meant he wasn't threatening you. A balled angry fist or a pointing finger in the face is a visual representation of the sharp rock and pointed stick. If you can keep your palms facing the miserable b45tard then it seems to subconsciously say that you aren't threatening them and, lets face it, they are often angry because they are going to be propelled in a small alloy tube at high speed/altitude without any control over their own destiny and will react accordingly. As mentioned above somewhere, treat them a bit like frightened children who are lashing out in frustration. Failing that, a kick in the b0110cks works quite well.

beerdrinker That sort of behaviour is going to get you decked, at the very least, if not sued.

As an occasionally pissed off passenger, being listened to, and understanding that I am sometimes frustrated with the system, goes a LONG LONG way to cooling me down. :ok:

Largely you are inconsistent. You quote laws that do not exist, then get a ****ty on when people don't believe you. Cell phone use on the ground for example - I dare you to quote me the rules, 99% of you are ignorant of reality. There are more rules about the use of HF radio by the pilots…

The reason you can’t use PCs or other electronic equipment during take off and landing (like it would actually make a difference) is to do with the IF in the devices. Do explain what that means if you can and why it would be a problem, or not, if you know the difference.

Most of you can’t which is why people think you haven’t a clue and don’t take you seriously. Don’t think your passengers are stupid, they are not!!:=

The reason that the present rules exist is that FA's cannot be expected to know the detailed technical specifications of each device, or understand the underlying technologies and therefore the precise threats (or lack of) to the aircraft. A blanket ban at least addresses some of the concerns that some people in the industry have.

I read the preceding post with a real sense of sadness: i had thought that I might have become immune after all this time and was slightly surpised to discover that I hadn't. I don't think you're stupid, Vortex... But I do think you're nasty. Your post drips with contempt for FA's in general and an extraordinary level of venom based upon perceived shortcomings of a group of people because you believe that they aren't as intelligent as you. The existence of this thread is a reassurance that some FA's and some customers are prepared to think about how best to handle difficult situations to the benefit of all involved. Vortex contributions also serve to remind us that in some instances the only effective solution is to walk away.

Strangely enough Vortex, we don't make the laws (as you call them), we don't care what IF is, and have zero interest in why you are so important that you need to use your phone on the ground. We simply apply the rules as dictated by the company that pays our wages and the Aviation Authority who writes our manuals. Simple! If you don't like those rules then you would be better employed taking it up with the company than trying to belittle the crew who are passing on the message. As for 'daring to quote you the rules' it's even easier; on the aircraft owned by my employers when the engine is on, your phone goes off!

Vortex mate, your post does you absolutely no favours, and rather shows you in a not very pretty light.

I agree with sevenstrokeroll here, his post was excellent, and really does demonstrate that being humane rally can make all the difference.

Folk are folk, most are not mean, horrible or bad. Sometimes they act out of character especially in places and situations they may not normally be in.

Listen first, try to understand, and then engage mouth :)

In that order well!

Worth bearing in mind that in the majority of cases the source(s) of the passenger's frustration had nothing to do with you but the passenger wants to get something out of their system and you present one of the few available options ! If you stay polite and seem sympathetic then not sure how you can blame yourself if it isnt enough.

Oh and IF probably means intermediate frequency, a radio term. Received signals are converted to an intermediate frequency in a superhet system. An oscillator in the receiver generates a mixing sign to enable the frequency conversion and this oscillator could act as a transmitter if the design is not good. Apropo of what I am not sure.....

Used to quite enjoy dealing with the completely unreasonable passenger you can find on any flight (after the cabin crew had tried their best).
I found that if the captain was seen to be dealing with the perceived grievance as politely and reasonably as possible the rest of the pax would gang up on the complainer.
Best example was the chap sitting three rows behind the offender who stood up and said, "Captain, why don't you just tell him to f**k off?"
Saved me the trouble.

Vortex, you really do seem to be more concerned with how you can outsmart a member of cabin crew with technical information, which you believe they are unlikely to understand, than to just comply, like a decent person. You also seem to think because cabin crew cannot recite particular laws, they are wrong in their requests to comply with company safety regulations? Well, let me break it down with the only law YOU need to be concerned with - The Air Navagation Order, part 19. Article 141 "every person in an aircraft registered in the UK shall obey all lawful commands which the commander of that aircraft may give for the purpose of securing the safety of the aircraft and of the persons or property carried therein, or the safety, efficiency or regulation of air navigation". Basically, what that means to you is, regardless of what one airline may allow to another, what a cabin crew requests you to do based on safety grounds (cabin crew are acting for the commander, therefor the request is BY the commander) you must comply. By law.

Should you argue, challenge or refuse to comply with these safety requests from the cabin crew, lets move onto Article 142...... "No person shall, while in an aircraft use any theatening, abusive or insulting words towards a member of the crew of the aircraft. Behave in a threatening, abusive insulting or disorderly manner towards crew of the aircraft. INTENTIALLY INTERFERE WITH THE PERFORMANCE BY A MEMBER OF CREW OF THE AIRCRAFT OF HIS DUTIES".

So, you may feel cabin crew don't know the particulars of what each peice of technical equipment may or may not do, however, that's not really important. If a crew member has asked you to stop using your laptop whilst the aircraft is taxiing, it would be in your best interest to do so. If not, we go back to gate and have you arrested. SIMPLES.

Going back to the original topic of this discussion, there have been excellent suggestions on how to deal with upset customers. I personally feel, if the customer feels listened to, validated with genuine empathy, with an objective of resolve, in whatever way you have power to do so, 9/10 they are disarming and appreciative. I think we all can get disgruntled at times when our expectations have not been achieved, quite right, but it is how the person deals with the complaint we often remember.

Absolutely on the button. Carnegie wrote HTWF&IP more than six decades ago and when you read it you say .."Of course...that's obvious". But the point is it's only obvious when you read it - and then retrace how you (and I) mishandled people in the past. Highly recommended.

Some years ago I was a passenger on a flight from Florence to LHR. An elderly male passenger with two walking sticks was seated in the seats beside the wing emergency doors.
I politely pointed it out to the cabin attendant who said it was in order. I asked her to inform the captain. (All politely and in accordance with How To Win Friends and Influence People - I was at that time teaching Pax handling to BAA). She returned and said the captain said it was OK).

Aware of the very sensible flight safety regulations I told her that I would of course have to accept it. (I didn't fancy a night in a Florence pokey).
However - somewhere over France the old gentleman was re-seated at the front of the aircraft which turned out to be very convenient for the electric cart he needed when we he disembarked at Terminal 5. I noticed that he couldn't lift his case off the carousel let alone the 20kg disposable hatch he had been seated beside. Though I would add that happily that had not been necessary.

Upon submitting a report, I was a bit reassured by the CAA controller's assurance that the captain had in fact NOT been informed by the cabin attendant, and her report to me of his comment was false.

Perhaps that should be made a subject of air safety regs?

For those wondering why phones have to be turned off:

Ever put a phone next to a speaker whilst its sending/receiving cellular data and been annoyed by the noise?

The aircraft PA/flight/service intercom system is quite sensitive to that exact interference. Trust me, we had it all through the taxi the other day!

Not ideal when trying to give a safety briefing.

Please don't start the whole mobile thing all over again: God only knows it has been covered sufficiently elsewhere.

Try dealing with this?
 

Try to keep calm when Naomi Campbell totally loses it in 1st class, what would you try to say to her?

Win more with sugar!
 

Dealing with upset and rude passengers is a daily challenge for flight attendants, myself included. Kill them with kindness works almost 99% of the time for me. I start with "bless your heart, you must...." along with a big smile seems to take the wind out of their sails. Most of the time they just want to feel that your on their side. I had a woman on my flight who had her bag on her lap....I very kindly told her that the bag needed to go under her seat. Her response? "Oh shut up, shut up, shut up." I smiled and said "bless your heart you must be just miserable" then walked away. She was literally speechless. It also works well with grumpy coworkers.

There are some rules of engagement to be considered here. On safety stuff, you do as you are told and inform, ask, tell, order passegers as appropriate. These are non-negotiable items. The only justification required is "Because you are required to do so". Do not add legal reasons or 'for insurance" or other such guff.

If you are trapped in the middle of a service that is time critical you will not have time to speak with Mr/Mrs Angry. Tell them your name, ask them theirs and tell them that you will come back to them either shortly, when you have finished the service or whatever. And do so. Address them by name, tell them that you have some time for them, pin back your ears and listen. Use firecat's flow.

You may be able to help, you may not. But unless you know what their problem is you will never know. Someone above mentioned that you should remember the attack is not personal, unless of course you did do something. In which case you can tell them you are sorry and didn't mean to upset them. You will also not be able to solve every problem. That's life. My last run in with a passenger was when he told me he would never fly with us again. "I've been stuck at your bloody airport for 18 hours and you've done nothing to help me. I hated every minute of this flight, the service was vile... etc." This was all shouted at me in my face. He was a lost cause and was foul to every member of the crew he met. He wanted a fight. "Excellent!" was my reply. "There's some really good airlines who will love your business. Good bye". I then 'guided' him off the aircraft but he was so keen to have a go he wasn't looking where he was going and tripped A over T. Shame!

But this guy was an exception. Most people will calm down when you listen. More will calm down after an explanation. Others will be satisfied when you solve their problem by you or others taking the appropriate action. A remainder will not be satisfied because there is nothing that can be done, but at least they know and you listened.

I hope this helps.

PM