Iraqi,

Priceless!! :D:D:D:D:D

Slight digression to thick passenger behaviour.

Why do the sheeple stand in line BEFORE boarding opens, when they have pre-assigned seats? Why, when as happened to me yesterday, a delay in boarding was announced, did 90% of them just stand there in line, baa-ing quietly to each other.

I can understand this on flights where there is no assigned seating, but on a longhaul with advance seating..... hello .....?


http://www.ashie.com/sheeple%20copy.gif

Sheeple. . .etc

Why stand in line to board first?

1. Early boarders have a better choice of overhead bins. A bad leftover can cause a missed connection. Only had one really near miss, but I had a "favorable" bin and made my connection, abeit a bit out of breath.

2. It is much more comforatable boarding the relatively non-crowded aisles at the beginning of the boarding process. Note that my frequent flyer status rewards me by allowing me to board early, right after premium class.

As a frequent flyer in all classes it's definitely the numpties who carry giant bags and cases then fill up the overhead bins that cause this need to board early. Sometimes it can get very difficult fighting over bin space and I really object to people rearranging my belongings, especially if they're not even from the same row or adjacent seats. I do wonder why airlines don't police the baggage more strictly as I often see people bring on more than is strictly allowed.

airsmiles

What has stale food got to do with flying?

Somehow I do not think you are going to impress many people here with that sort of bragging. The vast majority of contributors to PPRuNe would never even dream in their very worst nightmares about ever flying coach.

Once got on board after the majority. Looking for overhead bin space, found some over a couple who thought it was their bin. Tried to explain it wasn't their exclusively reserved space. That didn't work. I find that most people who start by entering a terminal loose most of their brain matter.

Manchikeri

". . .stale food. . . .bragging . . ." ? ? ? ?

Sorry you missed the point.

A colleague of mine was asked today for a "black coffee with milk". :D

Black tea with milk for me
 

As I hate green tea.

Glf

During disembarkation:

Me: "Bye Sir"

PAX: "Bye, erm, can you tell me where I pick up my phone?"

Me: "Pick up your phone?"

PAX: "Yeah, where do I get it?"

Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not following you?"

PAX: "Where do I go to pick up my phone?"

Me: "Did you lose it somewhere?"

PAX: No, I just need to know where to get it?"

Me: "I'm sorry I don't know what you mean."

PAX: "The man at Stansted told me to put my phone in the machine and to make sure I picked it up at the other end..."

Me: "Was this man at security?"

PAX: "Yeah!"

Me: "I think the man meant for you to pick up your phone from the other end of the machine..."

PAX: "So my phone's not here then?"

Me: "I wouldn't have thought so, sir!"

PAX: "So, I've lost it then?"

Me: "I think it'll still be in Stansted."

PAX: "You haven't got it?"

Me: "No, sir!"

PAX: "Oh, okay, bye!"

:ugh:

Fellow pax on TG MNL to BKK last week when asked whether he wanted fish, chicken or pork for his meal replied “which is the more Thai?” When told the pork, his response “but I’m vegetarian”

I frequently ask for just that, or more precisely: Americano with cold milk on the side.
I don't like hot milk and prefer to add cold milk myself.

I asked for black coffee in a canteen 'oop North'. I was told : "You mean coffee without milk....".

After a few seconds of reflection, thinking, 'is it them or me ...?' I said : "Yes, that means it's black."

"We are not allowed to call it black ..........."

Freaking PC lot again.

Good Afternoon All:

My favourite was this, back in the pre 9-11 days cockpit door was open as were going to KSFO x CYVR.

Father and son show up un-announced at the door and father in a "stage whisper" says to his son "see all they do is push buttons all day". Without missing a beat I turn around and said you are absolutely right sir as it is analogous to brain surgery you just have to know when and where to cut.

My poor F/O at the time was drinking some coffee and practically choked……………

Needless to say father turned beet red stammered and walked away.

To this day I still do not understand why I did it

When I worked in a cafe years ago, a lady would pop in every morning to get her skinny decaf latte! One day one of my colleauges could resist no longer and told the lady "Coming right up, but what's the point, Madam?"

a330pilotcanada,Nice one.
Reminded me of the guy in big cowboy boots at KFC.
Paid a small fortune, because when anything went wrong, he was the only one who knew which computer rack to kick, and where....

CJ

Early nineties, Amsterdam Schipol. I was one of those waiting in line to use the payphone. The large American lady seemed to be having trouble getting the phone to hang on to her money. "Don't these dam Dutch phones take Regular Quarters" !!.

Local Custom and Practice . . .
 

. . . or, when in Rome . . .

Here in Edinburgh we used to ask for white coffee or black coffee and drink what is served up.

The process has become complicated by the Starbucks, Costa and Caffe Nero empires which offer as many options as an a la carte restaurant menu.

A colleague from the Weeg ( that's Glasgow to the uninitiated) likes to control the amount of milk in his white coffee and I noticed that he always asks for a black coffee with milk.

Some months back, we found ourselves in the Weeg's bus station caff. I asked the server for a white coffee only to be rebuked by said server with an indignant " dae yae mean a black coffee wi' mulk?!!!!" .

I have since discovered that "can I have a black coffee with milk, please?" is a secret code understood by baristas as "just a white coffee, no b/s and, no , I am not here to be ripped off".

I now order my coffee in non-specialist cafes here in Edinburgh as "black coffee with milk". The strange looks are less withering than the contempt in the voice and body language of that Glasgow bus station serving lady.

In Spain, the beverage is known as café con leche so maybe my Weeg neighbours enjoy the costas as much as I do.

Only twelve sleeps . . .

Thanks for the many laughs in this thread!

I am just a humble SLF, and this is not so much a "stupid comment" as a classic "lost in translation", but still funny:

In a Tunisair from Tunis to Vienna, flying over a lighted city at night about 20 minutes before landing.
Me: "Is this Graz?" (Graz = Austria's 2nd largest city)
CC: "No, not grass, it's a city."

(I didn't try again, as she seemed rather busy.)

Yes that is amusing and 20 mins before landing she/he was probably rather busy as you say. The cabin crew are not really aware of routes and unlike the passengers they don't have hours to spare (getting bored) looking out of the window. Even in rest time they are stuck in the galley sitting on catering boxes or CC seats without windows. I'm not saying 'give them a break' just that invariably they will not know landmarks. I always encouraged them to sit on the flight deck if they had any spare time and then their knowledge increased about routes and general operations.