Brilliant. :D :D :D

I do believe that Manchester attracts some stunningly smart@ss pax.

Down on B pier in T1 one hot and sticky afternoon and some guy comes up to me and at the top of his voice says to me "is there anything you want to tell me?"

Me: (very puzzled) No Sir. :confused:
Pax: Are you sure? (Very loud, at this point has the attention of a good majority of the pier.)
Me: I'm very sure. (More puzzled)
Pax: Only it seems to me that there is no aircraft for us to FLY ON! (V.V.loud and looking down his nose whilst checking that everyone is lookng at him.)
Me: So that big blue and white thing behind you is an apparition then?

Lots of sniggering and guffaws from assembled crowd, him bright red in face and slunk away.

The moral of the story? Nobody likes a smartalec, espcially one who can't get his facts straight.:ok:

some of the earlier posts have had me in stitches..... did anyone read the stuff in the tabloids about 'complaints' from passengers??
the best one was.... ( a flight to the carribean!)
" why has it took us 11 hours, when it only took the americans 3 hours ??":ugh: :ugh: :ugh:
(the hours may be slightly wrong but eh close enough!!)
the rest i can't remember but i bet someone can???

hehe,
This thread proves the following:

1) No matter where you work, if you work with the public you will ALWAYS get asked stupid questions, n generally get an arsey f:mad: r

2) No matter where you are, if you need help from someone who works with the public, you will eventually recieve some sarcastic comment

You know who you are :p

Passengers will never stop amazing me...

Today on boarding in TLS a man with 3 heavy bags (one for himself, one for his wife and one for his kid) made a bad comment to me when I pointed out to him that NO, he could not store them in an empty trolley stowage in the galley, just opposite my crew seat.....I understand the new baggage policy can confuse people a little, but... :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

FBW

Oooohhh yessss!!!

I have some of those as well!!!

This one happened about 3 years ago...

Paris Air Show. Fellow Crew member and I get access to the show during a non-public day thanks to the power of our airline passes. :E

ColleagueX, a N2 (senior in charge of Yclass) for a very well known charter UK airline, proposes to go and have a peek at the (at that time) brand new B777-300ER.
I have a special love for the 777 and, having worked on a previous model, I was explaining to him some of the features of the new aircraft, how great it is, differences with the 767 etc etc.

Now that was the day Emirates announced that they were going to buy many of those and other airlines were contemplating and about to make a declaration, so the area around it was full of professionals, airline bosses, airline photographers, journalists, anoraky know-it-all nerds and, of course, Boeing people.
All of a sudden he looks very serious and starts screaming...

<<You're righ! You're right! This plane is fabulous and will be so comfortable and safe...look!! It doesn't only have two wings, it has four!!!>> :ugh:
:{

That was such an embarassing moment, but boy it was funny!!:E :D

The funny/sad bit is that for the first time in 7 years of flying he had realised that aeroplanes have a horizontal stabilizer+elevators!!! He thought that the 777 was extra special because had "4 wings instead of the 2 like the 757/767" :ugh: :{
So after that I decided it was useless to explain that the two big wings of the 757 are in fact only one anyway....wingtip to wingtip....too complicated :rolleyes:

Anyway, the reaction of the people around us was what you'd expect, lots of giggling....:E
But now it is not funny anymore :zzz:

Quote:

---

But now it is not funny anymore

---

Don't get me started on the 777-300 :* I'd go off topic :(


great crew rests though... :\

Jet Airways

CC: Sorry the menu has changed - all the chicken has been taken off the menu

Me: Oh, why is that?

CC: Due to the Bird flu outbreak - Would you like some duck terrine instead?

Windows
 

Many many years ago in my mis-spent youth, I was CC for a charter co out of MAN. Late one night as we were taxiing out for dep (to somewhere in Spain) and I'm walking down the cabin checking seat belts, a womann tugged at my jacket and asked,

" 'Ere is there sommat wrong with this 'ere window'

Perplexed, I took a good long look at said window and replied that I couldn't see anything wrong with and asked why the passenger thought there was. She replied,

"Well, me daughter's been trying for ages, and she can't get it open"

I'll hold off on my reply ;)

-Hum, excuse me, is that right what the Capt just said, that it is -50 out there???


-Yes, it is right, it's -50 degrees outside the A/C


-You mean -50, like in "-50 degrees cold" ????


-Errr, yes


-Then how come we are not all dead yet????


AND

-'Scuse me, is this a Boeing or a charter???

Based on the question, I am willing to hazard a guess it was a charter, probably out of Manchester bound for Ibiza or somewhere similar :E

ROFL - I don't know why, but that one really amused me :D

Quite true!!! I work for a charter airline also and I did a flight to PFO not long ago. Finished the meal service

PAX: Scuse me, I ordered a meal forme and my family we haven't got it yet..
CC: Have you got your tickets with you so I can just check please?
PAX. They're in my suitcase.
CC: So how did you check in then???
PAX: Well I was given mytickets at the airport and then I put them back in my suitcase
CC: I can't really give you a meal without seeing your tickets madam
PAX: Well can you go downstairs and get me suitcase and I'll show ya??

Did she order a meal????? OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!

:hmm:

Chomp a blood capsule, available from most joke shops, allow the goo to run down yout chin whilst feigning sleep just after dinner on a long haul. Allow harassed companion to field thought provoking questions from CC, who sometimes, at least, do not see the thought provoking humour in such an action:p

Careful about gullspitting to pax, eh - I complained to a stew recently about the extremely feeble flow from the overhead air vents and was told that they're always like that. I didn't mention that I've been an aircraft engineer for the last twenty-seven years and know otherwise.

On the other hand, I once had about half a cupful of water drip onto me from the vent during take-off on an African flight...

Anyway, you do a good job under sometimes trying circumstances, girls (and boys)!

:^)

PAX: what do you have to eat and drink?
CC: there is a menu just there in your seatpocket...
PAX: (pulling something out and reading it) "what? this? it dosent say food?"
CC: No, thats the sickbag...

Lucky you!!!;)

On the A320/321s of an airline I worked for previously we used to have a proper "hail" shower from the vents above the main doors and pax used to ask us if that was because it was snowing outside....:confused:
Yeah...snow that magically enters the cabin at FL360 above the Alps...and with a sunny sky....Very dangerous!!!
Heard that many, many times....:ugh:

Bless them all :E

Flight from Cancun to LGW

PAX: 'Scuse me!!
ME: Yes Madam how can I help?
PAX: There's PETROL leaking from the roof. Look!!!
ME: Oh dear...Looks like we're going nowhere then madam!!!

I once had the misfortune to fly on a Tower Air jumbo to BKK from LGW which had a vent that positively didn't like me. At least half a cup of water each time we rotated (the plane was so old it couldn't make to BKK in one go, we had to re-fuel in Bahrain).

The first time I got soaked I whinged to one of the CC who said, 'Don't worry, it isn't petrol (sic).'

Still, at 299 quid return I didn't moan that much! :}

In the back of a BA flight recently I was sitting opposite a smart, clever-looking young man like Bamber Gascoigne. As passengers were loading, he suddenly became very agitated and started rummaging furiously through his wallet and suit pockets. "Oh, that bl00dy woman, what's she done with it, where is it, OMG, it's not here!" he was saying, over and over. The CC standing by asked him what was the matter. "The return part of my ticket! How am I ever going to be able to fly back now? That stupid woman at the desk didn't give it me back!"

"But this is a ticketless airline, Sir," replied the CC. "You turn up at the desk on time and hand your passport up." Eventually she managed to convince him that he'd only lost the internet printout and he calmed down.

But then it started again, muttering "That stupid woman, what did she do with it ..." and I thought it was really getting out of order, but the CC just ignored it. I think the other pax that were closing in by then calmed him down, or at any rate I was no longer party to his imagined persecutions from the mischievous stilettoed damsels of the check-in counter.