Working for JQ we get a range of pax... including those who have been rejected by Greyhound Buslines. Here's what happened during a 9pm flight to Melbourne after CSM made a PA regarding turning the lights down for pax comfort

Bulldog-resembling pax: What did she say?

Me: We are turning down the lights now

Pax: Why would you do that? To save electricity? I can't see my magazine :ugh:

Me: That's right. The electricity bill hasn't been paid and they'll probably cut it off soon, but we're hoping that we land before they do so.

Not to mention the number of times that I have had a lady thrust a baby bottle at me and tell me to 'heat it in the microwave for 1 minute on medium-high'. :8

Skybunny - you don't have a microwave on board??? := What sort of an airline is that? :confused: :cool: ;)
But at least you are lucky - I don't know how many flights I've been on when people wouldn't take anything for their kids along!

Usually shortly after take-off they needed: fresh diapers for their babies, food, bottles with milk (no - not warming up, they didn't take any along as they fully well knew we carry babybottles and babymilk!), the kids meals for the bigger ones, .... :ugh:
And all together and right now... because their kids are the most precious to them ... :hmm:
And then you find one of those little ones in the chiller right before you put the trolley back in - as they are playing hide and seek on the aircraft! := :oh:

Holding over our destination airport and unable to land due to fog. Holding out for that gap in the weather to avoid a divert.

"excuse me.... can i use my mobile to tell my friend i'm going to be late...?????? !!!!!!!!!

I was once handed a packet of super noddles and asked to make them as she didn't like airline food. I explained that i would need a pot, cooker etc to make them and we don't have that onboard, told her to bring a pot noddle next time. :rolleyes:

This happened on a flight the other day:

Female Pax: Have you any sanitary napkins or tampons.

Me: Umm, no, I'm a boy (a cheeky attempt to hide my embarrassment).

Female Pax: (Laughing) I can see that, but you don't have them onboard.

Me: Errm, no, sorry.

10 mins later as I walk past.

Female Pax: Hey, you do have them. They're in the toilets, my husband saw them when he went!

Male Pax (Husband): (Crossly) You should know that lad.

Me: Well, I've never been into the girls toilets on the aircraft before, but what were you doing in there anyway? (Being cheeky again).

Male Pax: Oh shi!t, was that the girls? I didn't see the sign!

Me: Well, how embarassing, you won't do that again will ya? (winking at wife).

Female pax wet herself laughing!

When working for easyJet many moons ago, boarding at AMS;

Pax: Do you have a first class cabin?

Me: Certainly sir, (I opened the fwd toilet door), you have a cabin to yourself!

Me and the first row of pax found it funny anyway!

Hello,

View from the other side (AF from CDG to Mauritius)

Me:(after the lunch)do you have a Cognac please?
Crew:do you know how much you paid your ticket?:uhoh:
Me: (realising at this time ..was surounded by pax with reduced price fare tickets)Certainly...and show my ticket (Full economy fare):)
Crew:I bring you a Cognac in a minute.:E
Comments:how feel satisfied with this kind of answer (the first of course...)

Regards.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :ok: :E

Thats priceless, I love it... :p

I hate the ones who like to make wise cracks.

CC Please make sure your window blind is up please

PA Why will it make it go faster?

CC No but if the engine falls off or blows up you will see it and you can tell the crew.

I have a very plain dulcit Irish Accent...Im from higher middle class part of dublin so for those of you who know will be able to tell for yourself.
But the other morning on approach to LHR some american passenger asked me for directions through the terminal for a connecting flight.

As soon as I finished explaining "Flight Connections" he siddenly stopped me, shouting at me saying that he could not understand me and demanded that I SPEAK AMERICAN!!! I just laughed at him and said he would have major problems in Scotland (thats where he was traveling to) if he didnt understand me!!!!

What a :mad: Passenger ...I said the same thing before , They should learn some manner's

hotels
 

sort of like the hotel i am in just now

its peak season and ppl come in asking for rooms

we say we´re full and they ask..

but not even half board or bed and breakfast!!

apaddy - American spoken in the days of yore was very much similar to Irish! Heard the accent on Newfoundland or some of the islands off the eastern seaboard?

More Olde Irish/English than 'American'!

Hope the obnoxious twerp tried his attitude on some characters in a dodgy pub in Glasgow. He won't be out of hospital yet!

Revenge of the SLF - on the SLF!
 

My wife and I were passengers on a Southwest Airlines flight from Houston to Phoenix AZ a few summers ago - lots of thunderstorms, delays, extra security checks, more delays, typical gawdawful airline experience.

We were determined not to let it get us down, partly because through a bit of sweet-talking the gate agent upgraded us to first class, seats 1A and 1B, YES!

Anyway, when we finally boarded, the cabin crew was obviously (as you say over there) knackered, so we told them that WE would do the passenger greetings for them, go sit down and relax. Surprisingly, they said go for it - so we did - and every person who got on the airplane after us was greeted with "Thank you for flying Southwest! We're glad to have you on board!"

Well it seems the person sitting in 1E was not very happy about all this - he KNEW the weather was crappy solely and specifically for HIS personal discomfiture, and this was all Southwest's fault - and the idea that anyone at all could have a good time - my wife and I, and the two exhausted stews, was just too much for him. He rolled his eyes in disgust each time we greeted anyone (about 90 people), and each time he did, the stews (and we) had to restrain ourselves from laughing - we all knew he couldn't stand it, and we were quite deliberately baiting him with each progressively cheerier greeting. (The passengers loved it, too, and the pilot and co-pilot were also in on it.)

Finally everyone was on board and we were ready to go. I turned to the cabin crew (whose dispositions had by now considerably brightened) and said, "OK, we're all set, and I'm ready to fly the airplane now - do you need to see my pilot's license?"

"Mr. Happiness" about died - turned white as a sheet, the two stews broke out laughing - and we were treated ROYALLY for the entire flight - and somehow they were always just too busy to get Mr. Happiness so much as a glass of water. He was first off the airplane, too.

This is a true story . . . and I do have a pilot's license, but not for the big iron.


Best Regards,

Echo Mike

EchoMike - best story I've read for ages. Sounds very Southwest too!

Once upon a flight-
Announcement "Ladies & gentlemen, just to make you aware that we have completely run out of sandwiches, sorry for the inconvenience"
10 seconds later- PAX next to me, when cc asked what he would like to eat: 'what sandwiches have you got?'
CC: Sorry sir, as we have just announced- we have completely run out'
PAX: what none atall?
CC: No, not one left.
PAX: Not even a plain one?
CC: No, no sandwiches whatsoever.
PAX: well im not happy about this atall.
CC: very sorry sir
PAX: can't you even make me one, or give me one from the crew's supply?
CC: er.. no because there isnt any bread or filling and we crew do not have any either...sorry!
PAX: (turns to me) We are paying their wages and they cant even find a spare sandwich...

LOL

I might sound like a dim pax now but:

Why do the window blinds have to go up on landing?!

Just curious...:)

It's to accustomise your eyes etc. to the conditions outside. In the event of an accident where the pax have to disembark quickly, they won't suffer from things such as night blindness.

Any help?

Aha thankyou so much:ok:

sarcasm
 

it's sarcasm, given the first post about "thick" passengers

This is a GREAT STORY
 

Good story here. I have one as well. I was cc with a young beautiful woman (of color) Omaha to Chicago. She was getting a lot of "looks" and a negative vibe from many of the passengers, so as the position one flight attendant, I made an announcement upon arrival at Chicago : "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to inform you that this is the last flight for one of our flight attendants today, D. Edwards. She is pursuing her doctorate at the University of Chicago in International Studies and Communications."
You should have seen how sugary sweet and congratulatory the passengers got towards my coworker as they deplaned. Ms. Edwards and I became great friends and we always had a laugh on how we pulled one over on those rascals...