I forgive you. Hot coke with ice, please.:}

can't live with pax, can't live without pax :)
 

Last day on early shift, and since it was my last day it had to be the longest, GRO-EMA-BGY-EMA. Let me tell you, that IS a long day and of course you'll pray you have nice pax.
Anyway, boarded, closed doors, safety demo, took off.. Like we all do. Started service once released from our J/S (me and my colleague started from the overwing to the back galley). So as it's part of our jobs, we asked everyone "any drinks or snaks".. you know, the usual. Nothing exciting so far.

Row 21. A-child, B-mother, C-child and D-father.
Mother (looking very nice, pretty face, well dressed...) : What have you got? (bare in mind she had the inflight magazine opened at the menu page!!!)
Me:Sandwiches, hot food, cold drinks,hot drinks, sweets... (smiling). Everything is on the menu.
Mother (with that "oh i'm so posh and i can talk down to the FA cause she's just a trolly dolly" tone in her voice) : I'm sure my children don't like most of all things you got here. What else have you got?
Me: i'm really sorry but we have in the bars just what's on the menu.
Mother: Yeah... i'll have the sour cream pringles for the boys and i'll have a tea.
I served her, gave the kids the pringles, made her the tea, asked her milk and sugar with the tea (still thinking maybe she's a nice person...)
Mother: Yes ( no "yes please") and honey and lemon, not to much honey
Me (still trying to realise when did i do the transition from working for a low fares cost airline to Virgin or BA business class or hey, maybe i was working now on a private Citation10!): I'm very sorry but we are not catered with honey or lemon, just the milk and the sugar.
Mother (getting visibly annoyed): I don't want the tea now. I want a coffee with cream
Me: I'm very sorry but we don't have cream either
Mother: Fine!Just leave it on my tray table
So i did. She gave me the money and we moved on. Finished the service, and then DING (call bell, Mother in 21B)
Me: Yes please
Mother: I want 2 more Pringles.
Me: I'll get that for you in a minute, i just need to finish something
Mother: But they want it now, i can't wait until you decide to serve me.
( At that point I was very close to lose it but hey, gotta keep my calm...)
Me: I'll be with you in a second (and walked away)
By that time my PU was half way down the cabin doing gifts, se must've been by the overwings. Ding! Call bell in row21, B... I look at my PU she makes sign she'll take it. The mother wants, yes, Pringles. My PU tells her she ran out of sour cream, but still has Plain and Salt and Vinegar. She literally shouts at my PU "But the children don't like anything but sour cream!" At that point my PU who is a lovely girl apologizes again and says that's all we have. So the mother had a propper tantrum and that was when my PU heard: coming from 21D : "Louise, will you JUST SHUT UP?" .
That was the Dad. Obviously he couldn't take it anymore and afterwards he came to the galley and apologized for his missus behaviour...
I know tis might be boring for some or for sure you experienced it as well, but what i'm trying to say is that maybe for every nasty pax there's a nice one, so somehow we still have a balance.
Next time i'm gonna tell you how a women accused me of wanting to keep her 80 pence change!!!!
Have fun out there, it's one of the best jobs in the world!:ok:

You were far too nice to that woman!

More stories please!

From a Nancy Reagan lookalike travelling in Aus. Brekky flight full of retired U.S holiday makers. " Do you have decaffinated coffee". On the negative reply she then said "oh dear - I'll have a coke then".

lol lol lol typical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaah you can't lick the golden pussy:}:}:}

the expensive gift that made my day :)
 

One of so many many many true inflight stories...
A while ago i received as a gift a very very expensive watch. Now i'm not one of those well too familiar girls to us that pretend to be something they're not. I really appreciated the watch and made me happy as i can't really afford such a luxury (at the moment:()
So finished the service and as we don't get float bags we rely on pax for change. What we do is write down the change if we don't have it so at the end of the service we'll give it back.
I can't remember where we were coming from but it was a long flight, think it was something like Murcia or some other holiday destination where the low fares cost pax will go to cause it's a cheap ticket...
Was walking towards the FWD galley, when a lady pulls my apron (note to self: this is happening way to often. Why are they doing this???:ugh:)
Lady: Excuse me, you owe me 80pence? (I'm thinking, "well at least she said excuse me")
Me (smiling) : Yes i know, it's all written down, i'll get that for you in a minute.
Now i would've kept my mouth shut if she wouldn't have said: "You people are all the same, you always do this. What, do you wanna keep that as your tip for the day?"
My face drops. I'm thinking at that point:
1. What did she just say?
2. It's a 2.30 hrs flight, where am i gonna go with your 80pence change?!?
3. Hmmmm.... I wonder if i have 80pence in my purse to give it to her, so i'll get one thing out of my way
4. Hey!!! She's been horrible since she got in the a/c, she moaned she didn't get the seat she wanted tho she had priority boarding (priority boarding doesn't reserve a certain seat, it's a free sitting airline, first come first served!!!) and she said the sandwiches are horrible as if i would personally bake sandwiches the night before for the flight!!!
So i just turned around, smiled and said: Excuse me , i wear a £700 Gucci watch, i don't think i need your 80 pence?!?
And moved on... to the FWD galley, from where i took a pound coin, went back to the lady who by that time had a vein coming out of her forehead looking like a scene from Piranha or Jaws ( i could actually hear that scary background music we all remember "tan am tan am tanam tanam tanamtanam) and said : "i'm sorry,we don't seem to have any small change but please take this pound coin, don't worry about the 20pence change". And winked at her. And walked away.
Now i know that i might seem a horrible person to some but tell you what: i never ever felt so good in my life. I'm actually avery nice kind girl but there's only so much cr@p i can take from pax... and when she disembarked, tho logically she would go out through the rear door as she was sat somewhere between row25 and row 30, she waited until everyone got off and walked all the way up to the L1 door, the vein still pounding like she found out Elvis and 2Pac are alive and well living next door to her doing kinky stuff to eachother while she was cutting grass with chinese chopsticks.
Please don't think i'm a nasty FA. I'm just human and i have my moments. I'm sorry in a way but boy did i feel good saying that to her!:cool:

Take care and read ya soon.
XX

"Or how about Cider, alcoholic in the UK, non-alcoholic in the USA"

Or cider in Japan which is actually a lemonade type drink. Lots of things are different there. I gave up counting after a while.

"Toilet doors:
Well, maybe the airlines or manufacturers should make it more clear".

Exactly airplane toilet doors have millions of signs on them and they have even more notices and pointless stickers inside.

abusing the sky
 

how i howled at your 80p story!!! the amount of times pax think we're not gonna give them change!!!!

i always make a point of saying to them something like "i havent got any small change at the moment so i'll bring it down it a little while" so hopefully that puts them off thinking i'm gonna steal it..

dont yer just hate it when you lose your list with what you owe written on..:ugh:

walking down the cabin going "did i owe anyone any change":uhoh:

JUL13
 

I can tell you've been there... :) Sure there are the nice ones who say "don't worry about it" and when you DO give them the change they say "Oh, thank you very much" and they smile at you, not expecting giving them back their 15pence change...
I swear to God next time when some bang out of order pax who thinks i'm gonna run away with their 50pence at 35.000feet up in the air, i'll just start crying " Oh no, how am i gonna pay may mortgage now, what am gonna give the kids to eat for dinner for the next 5 centuries if you're taking the 50 pence away from me???"
No matter where you are, up in the sky or on the ground, the rude ones will always remain rude. Unfortunately.
Such is life eh?
Take care. XX:)

On a flight from London to Nice, a woman pax in row one blurted out while doing the safety demo! HA a life jacket, we aren't even going over water!!!


Errrrr. and there was me thinking the UK was an island!

My response, its just incase we drop in the Thames!

Muppet

The quiet American
 

Sir,

You are the kind of American that Europeans think of when tempted by the present administration to regard all Americans as ignorant bullies. God bless you, you are the saviours of the reputation of the USA.

Fortunately, many of us in Europe know that here there are an awful lot of you around and you neutralize those of your citizens who do the Republic no credit.

E pluribus unum.

:D

If juice was concentrate then it wouldnt be sold apart from in a supermarket as concentrates are very strong. Orange juice is orange juice I.E orange and water I buy pure Orange juice I.E Tropicana and wouldn't call that a concentrate as a concentrate is a syrup

I hate people like that. I am English but I would actually start speaking French or Polish just to annoy that woman because it is a free world to speak what language you like. Infact when I was in france I spoke french and wouldn't want to speak english because I like to show respect for others.

Oh Man One us air flight, the attendent said "drinks"

me "Oh can I see what you've got"

She "well tellme what you want and i'll see if ive got it"

But i wanted to see what they had so i could see if i wanted it, so i just took a good look and took it myself. They were free

Good thread this, as a pax I can say I get very frustrated with dim people on planes. On a Virgin flight out of LHR there was an Indian lady who didn't speak much English, she had her kid with her who spoke no English at all - I'd reckon he would be about 3-4 years old. During taxiing to departure the kid would not stay in his seatbelt, and despite several warnings from the CC that the plane wouldn't depart it took off with the kid standing on his seat screaming his head off. Credit to the CC for staying patient, luckily the kid fell asleep for the rest of the journey.

Oh and to the CC who forgot the key for the portable DVD player when the entertainment system in my wifes seat went SNAFU, it was a blessing in disguise as we got a very nice voucher. Although swapping seats meant I had to sit next to the drunk comatose old lady who farted all the way over the Atlantic :-(

Assuming the farty old lady is not your wife, your use of the word "blessing" is exceptionally creative. Well done!

I was always told that the best way to get your own back on an engineer was to subtly place an extra bolt in their parts tray when they were dismantling an engine. When they put it back together they would find an extra bolt and then spend hours trying to find where it was missing from :E

I'm a federal immigration officer here in Canada, so we see a fair number of these genetic marvels after you good folk offload them. Case in point:

Me: Have you ever been arrested anywhere in the world?
Pax: What? Oh yeah, it's a funny story - I got arrested twice on the
same day for possession of marijuana!
Me: (failing to see humour in story) Okay...how much marijuana did
you have in your possession?
Pax: You mean how much marijuana do I have on me right now?
Me: Let's go speak to my friends in Customs and their nice doggy....
(insert handcuff sound here)