have any other crew felt this way? time to leave?
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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have any other crew felt this way? time to leave?
Hi everyone x
Am a new poster to this website so please forgive me if i have posted in the wrong place!
I have been crew now since the age of 20, i have now ben flying for 11 years, since having my little one i am becoming more scared of flying ( i think i am going mad... ) I can rationalise it ( well try to ) in my own head of how safe flying is, safer than driving and crossin the road etc etc but i cannot help every time i go to work that it might be the last time i see my little one and i am starting to get mild panic attacks ( pain in my chest... sweaty palms... but i hide it really well, nobody would notice ) ....
I am already dreading my next flight.... i think the madrid incident has made me get worse this last week.... i feel ridiculous writing this, just wondering if anyone knows of anyone else who has felt like this?? Or what they did? Can i request to work on the ground immediatly?? I feel so silly about this but i really want to stop flying... it is a great job with lovely people, if i could just switch off these feelings, i would have the dream job.... i have been off work for months in the past ( depression ) and work have been really good.... i dont know what to do... any help would be great...
Am a new poster to this website so please forgive me if i have posted in the wrong place!
I have been crew now since the age of 20, i have now ben flying for 11 years, since having my little one i am becoming more scared of flying ( i think i am going mad... ) I can rationalise it ( well try to ) in my own head of how safe flying is, safer than driving and crossin the road etc etc but i cannot help every time i go to work that it might be the last time i see my little one and i am starting to get mild panic attacks ( pain in my chest... sweaty palms... but i hide it really well, nobody would notice ) ....
I am already dreading my next flight.... i think the madrid incident has made me get worse this last week.... i feel ridiculous writing this, just wondering if anyone knows of anyone else who has felt like this?? Or what they did? Can i request to work on the ground immediatly?? I feel so silly about this but i really want to stop flying... it is a great job with lovely people, if i could just switch off these feelings, i would have the dream job.... i have been off work for months in the past ( depression ) and work have been really good.... i dont know what to do... any help would be great...
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Take a deep breath and relax.....
I think everyone has these thoughts but puts them at the back of their mind.
Talk to the flight deck, maybe see if you can get a flight in the jump seat one day (maybe a day off?) to see how safe it really is. Hopefully your cabin manager will support you in this.
H
I think everyone has these thoughts but puts them at the back of their mind.
Talk to the flight deck, maybe see if you can get a flight in the jump seat one day (maybe a day off?) to see how safe it really is. Hopefully your cabin manager will support you in this.
H
Join Date: Sep 2002
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The human mind can be cruel sometimes......
I used to facilitate fear of flying groups while I was part of the industry. The people who attended were from such diverse backgrounds, male & female, young and old.
Please do not feel that what you are experiencing is unique to only you.
Many people who attended were also in a similar position as yourself, having flown for many years as either flight attendants or pilots. A certain trigger would lead them into an obsessive thought process that convinced them that danger existed everytime they boarded an aircraft.
Please seek the assistance of your employee assistance group or union for confidential referral. Your local Doctor can also refer you to a mental healthcare professional.
Best wishes.
Please do not feel that what you are experiencing is unique to only you.
Many people who attended were also in a similar position as yourself, having flown for many years as either flight attendants or pilots. A certain trigger would lead them into an obsessive thought process that convinced them that danger existed everytime they boarded an aircraft.
Please seek the assistance of your employee assistance group or union for confidential referral. Your local Doctor can also refer you to a mental healthcare professional.
Best wishes.
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Wow sweetheart,
11 years of flying. Congrats on being in the job so long. You obviously applied when it was extremely hard to get into the airlines so good on you for that!
I don't want to play psychologist here but it sounds to me like you're not actually scared of flying itself, but an obsessive compulsive feeling of losing something that you love greatly (ie your child)
If you're getting panic attacks that's not a good sign and you should definately not be flying. Takes a lot of guts to speak to someone about it but you should go see someone who can help you, even if it's just an ear to listen.
When you're ready speak with your manager about how you feel. Reiterate to her that its something you're going through and that you feel some time on the ground will do you good.
All us normal imperfect people will feel these sort of feelings at some time. If depression/anxiety runs in your family you need to pay even more attention to your suseptibility.
Please use drugs as a last resort. There are many other ways you can help to shake this off.
11 years of flying. Congrats on being in the job so long. You obviously applied when it was extremely hard to get into the airlines so good on you for that!
I don't want to play psychologist here but it sounds to me like you're not actually scared of flying itself, but an obsessive compulsive feeling of losing something that you love greatly (ie your child)
If you're getting panic attacks that's not a good sign and you should definately not be flying. Takes a lot of guts to speak to someone about it but you should go see someone who can help you, even if it's just an ear to listen.
When you're ready speak with your manager about how you feel. Reiterate to her that its something you're going through and that you feel some time on the ground will do you good.
All us normal imperfect people will feel these sort of feelings at some time. If depression/anxiety runs in your family you need to pay even more attention to your suseptibility.
Please use drugs as a last resort. There are many other ways you can help to shake this off.
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I really feel for you, and agree that it is more the fear of not being there for your little one.
I doubt that a fear of flying course or a flight deck visit would help in anyway. If you have been flying for 11 years then you know what is going on.
Your company has a duty of care to you. It is not uncommon for people to go have psychiatric issues which completely resolve themselves through treatment, be it simply counselling or medication.
Speak to your line manager or Occ Health Dept, they will ground you immediately, which is fine and kind of what you need. Have a little time off, then come back and do some ground duties. The company should be able to help you seek medical advice during this time.
It is in the company's interests to help get you better. Have you been with the same company for the whole time?
At my previous airline, we had a girl who suffered from panic attacks and she had only been online for a few weeks,a nd still in probabtion. The company did everything they could to help her. She decided on her own that it was not something she could overcome, so left, but at least the compnay tried. Airlines are money making machines, but they are not all bad, and often go out of their way to help crew in genuine situations like yours.
I doubt that a fear of flying course or a flight deck visit would help in anyway. If you have been flying for 11 years then you know what is going on.
Your company has a duty of care to you. It is not uncommon for people to go have psychiatric issues which completely resolve themselves through treatment, be it simply counselling or medication.
Speak to your line manager or Occ Health Dept, they will ground you immediately, which is fine and kind of what you need. Have a little time off, then come back and do some ground duties. The company should be able to help you seek medical advice during this time.
It is in the company's interests to help get you better. Have you been with the same company for the whole time?
At my previous airline, we had a girl who suffered from panic attacks and she had only been online for a few weeks,a nd still in probabtion. The company did everything they could to help her. She decided on her own that it was not something she could overcome, so left, but at least the compnay tried. Airlines are money making machines, but they are not all bad, and often go out of their way to help crew in genuine situations like yours.
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id80 - welcome to PPRuNe, I'm just sorry that your first post should arise from such a distressing situation.
You are by no means the first, or only person to feel this way: As mentioned above, help will be available from your employer, who may well surprise you by the support that they will provide. Family and friends are also good sources of support - Use them all.
Children change everything, and their arrival often causes people to change and re-assess priorities: I speak from experience, and am sure that others will too.
It sounds to me like you may need some time off to think, and re-evaluate your priorities. When you are in an art gallery, sometimes the best place to be is up close to a picture, where you can study the detail at leisure: Sometimes the best place to be is several yards back, where you can study the whole picture, and also the context in which it is displayed. Both viewpoints are valid, and the picture is best appreciated by combining both. Take a step back and see what changes.
One fact is beyond dispute - Children matter, flying doesn't.
Take a break: Get some help - and don't use PPRuNe as a primary source for advice.
Good Luck
You are by no means the first, or only person to feel this way: As mentioned above, help will be available from your employer, who may well surprise you by the support that they will provide. Family and friends are also good sources of support - Use them all.
Children change everything, and their arrival often causes people to change and re-assess priorities: I speak from experience, and am sure that others will too.
It sounds to me like you may need some time off to think, and re-evaluate your priorities. When you are in an art gallery, sometimes the best place to be is up close to a picture, where you can study the detail at leisure: Sometimes the best place to be is several yards back, where you can study the whole picture, and also the context in which it is displayed. Both viewpoints are valid, and the picture is best appreciated by combining both. Take a step back and see what changes.
One fact is beyond dispute - Children matter, flying doesn't.
Take a break: Get some help - and don't use PPRuNe as a primary source for advice.
Good Luck
Join Date: Jun 2004
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My mum flew for 20+ years and started to have kids into her 10th year of flying. Even following an incidedent in 1986 with one of her flights she thought nothing of it and kept going. Her prime concern in the end before leaving was primarily one of missing out time with her family. Now im flying and she has no qualms about dragging herself along on trips with me. When the BA038 crashed I was on a trip from Shanghai that day. She thought I was on it briefly but continued on with her daily chores until she heard from me!
Its really more of a state of mind I suppose. You know how safe air travel is and although I would never say "it will never happen to me" you know what your chances are. When your time is up its up so its probably a case of just enjoying yourself and make the most of life!
Its really more of a state of mind I suppose. You know how safe air travel is and although I would never say "it will never happen to me" you know what your chances are. When your time is up its up so its probably a case of just enjoying yourself and make the most of life!
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Id80, some good advice from TightSlot and others here.
To add to that and maybe give you a slightly different perspective.......
Your story is identical to what my sister in law experienced.
She was Assitant Purser in the airline where I work. Knew her long before she became my SIL in fact, and she was one of the best and most intelligent APs in the company. Cheery, hard working, very funny, responsible and much liked by both cockpit and cabin colleagues. I only learnt later that like you, she had had brushes with depression.
Once their eldest child was born and she got back to flying, she found that she got very anxious about the whole thing. After 3 flights she decided she did not want to be away from her son to serve drinks to strangers and suffer terrible anxiety.
She gave up flying.
She sought treatment, got therapy and a low dose of anti depressants.
Their eldest son is 8 years now, she has been a very happy and effective housewife ever since, has never missed the cabin crew life.
She travels a lot with my brother and their 2 sons, flies alone to New York to visit her sister at least twice a year. Never an anxious moment during a flight, she loves paxing!
All this not to say that you should stop flying, but to illustrate that there is more to life than being cabin crew. Your job after all does not define you. Your relationships and your family does.
Perhaps at this stage in your life, crewing is not for you. Big deal.
Happiness, family and children are far more important than whatever job you have.
Best of luck and much wisdom to you.
To add to that and maybe give you a slightly different perspective.......
Your story is identical to what my sister in law experienced.
She was Assitant Purser in the airline where I work. Knew her long before she became my SIL in fact, and she was one of the best and most intelligent APs in the company. Cheery, hard working, very funny, responsible and much liked by both cockpit and cabin colleagues. I only learnt later that like you, she had had brushes with depression.
Once their eldest child was born and she got back to flying, she found that she got very anxious about the whole thing. After 3 flights she decided she did not want to be away from her son to serve drinks to strangers and suffer terrible anxiety.
She gave up flying.
She sought treatment, got therapy and a low dose of anti depressants.
Their eldest son is 8 years now, she has been a very happy and effective housewife ever since, has never missed the cabin crew life.
She travels a lot with my brother and their 2 sons, flies alone to New York to visit her sister at least twice a year. Never an anxious moment during a flight, she loves paxing!
All this not to say that you should stop flying, but to illustrate that there is more to life than being cabin crew. Your job after all does not define you. Your relationships and your family does.
Perhaps at this stage in your life, crewing is not for you. Big deal.
Happiness, family and children are far more important than whatever job you have.
Best of luck and much wisdom to you.
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Hello again everyone and THANK YOU so much for ALL your replys and time x x
I had begun to think I was the only one who felt like this.... your comments and advice are all so helpful...
I am a bit worried as I have been off work about a year ago with post natal depression ( in which i was on the ground for a bit when i returned and i also did see occupational health too ).... I suppose I am really worried about approaching my managers again about this as I am worried they may get rid of me! ( having already been off sick for 5 months in the past )..... I suppose it would be best to see my doctor first about the anxiety attacks ( I have been off the anti-d's for about 9 months now ) . . . sorry if i sound like a loony! I could not get to sleep for ages last nite due to racing thoughts and worry..... thank u for listening to my post!
You are all such a lovely bunch of people and i thak you dearly for your time x x x
I had begun to think I was the only one who felt like this.... your comments and advice are all so helpful...
I am a bit worried as I have been off work about a year ago with post natal depression ( in which i was on the ground for a bit when i returned and i also did see occupational health too ).... I suppose I am really worried about approaching my managers again about this as I am worried they may get rid of me! ( having already been off sick for 5 months in the past )..... I suppose it would be best to see my doctor first about the anxiety attacks ( I have been off the anti-d's for about 9 months now ) . . . sorry if i sound like a loony! I could not get to sleep for ages last nite due to racing thoughts and worry..... thank u for listening to my post!
You are all such a lovely bunch of people and i thak you dearly for your time x x x
