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so, do you want to be cabin crew?

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so, do you want to be cabin crew?

Old 12th Oct 2007, 04:40
  #1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 26
so, do you want to be cabin crew?


Want to be a Flight Attendant?
> >
> >
> > 1. Go to a resale store and find an old, navy blue suit that an army
> > sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear the
> > same outfit for four consecutive days, every week, all year long.
> >
> > 2. Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several
> > hours. Pretend you are standing by for them and they are all full. Go
> > home. Return to the airport the next day and do the same thing again.
> >
> > 3. Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head
> > and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Slam the door shut until
> > the boxes fit. Do this until you feel a disk slip in your back. Smile.
> >
> > 4. Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it betw een stations so there
> > is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage
> > disposal. Run them all night. Smile.
> >
> > 5. Remove the covers from several TV entrees. Place them in a
> > hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out.
> > Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your
> > family. Don't include anything for yourself. Eat peanuts. Smile.
> >
> > 6. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received
> > their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them
> > to scream at you and complain about the service. Eat peanuts. Smile.
> >
> > 7. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat two
> > hours later when you're really hungry Eat peanuts. Smile.
> >
> > 8. Pl ace a straight-backed chair in a closet next to a bathroom,
> > facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it.
> > Eat the stale rolls you saved from your family's meal, preferably while
> > someone is USING the bathroom. Smile.
> >
> > 9. Ask your family to use the bathroom as
> > frequently as possible. Tell them to make splashing water
> > a game and see who can leave the most disgusting mess. Clean the
> > bathroom every hour throughout the night. Drink stale coffee in the closet
> > next
> > to the bathroom. Eat peanuts. Smile.
> >
> > 10. Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and
> > randomly scatter your husband's wing-tips and loafers along the way.
> > Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down the aisle
> > while banging your shins against the chair legs and tripping over the
> > shoes. Drink several cups of cold, stale coffee to keep yourself
> > awake. Smile.
> >
> > 11. Stay up all night, then wake your family in the morning and
> > serve them a cold, hard sweet roll. Don't forget to smile and
> > wish them a nice day when they leave for work and school. Ask them to
> > berate you. Eat peanuts. (Smile.)
> >
> > 12. After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out (preferably in
> > winter) in the
> > yard. If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkling system and stand in the
> > cold and the wet for 30 minutes, pretending like you're waiting for the
crew
> > bus to pick you up. Then go inside and wait by
> > your bedroom door for ANOTHER 30 minut es while an imaginary maid cleans
and
> > makes up your room.
> > Smile.
> >
> > 13. Change into street clothes and shop for five hours. Pick up carry-out
> > food from a local deli. Go back
> > home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm for 3 a.m. so
you'll
> > be ready for your
> > wake-up call. (It's now 12:30 a.m.) Eat peanuts. Smile.
> >
> > 14. Repeat the above schedule for four days in a row and you'll
> > be ready to work your first trip as a Flight Attendant!
> >
> > 15. Repeat the above schedule after just three days off, every week
> > for twelve month's straight. NOW you are ready to BE a Flight
> > Attendant!!
> >
> > 16. Lose your pension AND take a 25 per-cent pay-cut.
> > NOW YOU'VE HAD A CAREER AS A FLIGHT ATTENDANT!!!
flyingazorian is offline  
Old 13th Oct 2007, 16:45
  #2 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 35000ft
Posts: 87
Haha very good flyingazorian......but you forgot to mention a couple...

Let your family hand you all their rubbish at the same time, and see how many different places you can balance it all!!

Ask your family to throw crumbs, newspapers and chewing gum on the floor then see how quickly you can clean it all, whilst still looking glamorous and smilling!!
Pandora's Box is offline  
Old 13th Oct 2007, 19:42
  #3 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Crawley
Posts: 10
Very very funny, really good!!!!!!! lol lol lol
briefing is offline  
Old 17th Oct 2007, 20:08
  #4 (permalink)  
900
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: West London
Posts: 46
So you want ....

Hate your job?
Leave it, find another one and stop moaning!!
Please.
900 is offline  
Old 17th Oct 2007, 22:13
  #5 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 26
what!?

what are you on about 900? I love my job, it was just for a laugh! I promise. If I didn't like my job I'd certainly not use a public forum to talk (write) about it,believe me. I do sincerely hope that people in this forum take the above text for what it is: just for a laugh. Where's your sense of humour? You really misunderstood the whole thing. If I have, in any way, shape or form, offended you, I do apologize. It was never my intention to offend anybody.

Last edited by flyingazorian; 17th Oct 2007 at 22:49.
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Old 18th Oct 2007, 03:53
  #6 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3
Love It

No way, that's one of the funniest things I've read in ages. You don't hate your job just 'cos you take the mick out of it.
dallastexjr is offline  
Old 18th Oct 2007, 04:38
  #7 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: all over the shop
Posts: 986
Hi 900,

I didn't know it was possible to have your sense of humour surgically removed! Was it painful?
sinala1 is offline  
Old 18th Oct 2007, 06:02
  #8 (permalink)  
Registered User **
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The Ultimate Crew Rest....
Age: 66
Posts: 2,346
sinala1....Who does 900 remind you of?

Think about it ..

Charisma by-pass..

"if you don't like your job you can always leave"

"why are you moaning"....

"There are a lot of people who want your job"

....And a supercillious "please" after they smile like a politician during an election....


..................That's right CC management

By the way flyingazorian..Very clever,anyone who has flown as cabin crew will understand everything in your post and will not be offended.

What is the one thing that we all have to have in our job....a sense of humour...
lowerlobe is offline  
Old 18th Oct 2007, 06:34
  #9 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: very close to STN!!
Posts: 523
what???

no mention of dealing with various types of flight crew---and the personal gymnastics that inevitably result

the temperature controllers---

the landings---

the storms---

but a good laugh
thank you---
stator vane is offline  
Old 18th Oct 2007, 07:31
  #10 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: 30,000 feet!
Age: 35
Posts: 139
so, you want to be cabin crew

It's a brilliant post, I have read it before as it has been forwarded by email quite a bit...so definitly not original on your part Flyingazorian. But definitly a good one. Thanks.
Ali_Xander is offline  
Old 18th Oct 2007, 12:24
  #11 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 26
not the author

right you are Ali Xander, I'm definitely not the author of the above text, just thought to share it with you ladies and gentlemen, as I laughed my head off when I first read it... Has anybody read/heard any funny stuff about our profession recently? Please post it here...as they say:laughter is the best medicine
safe flying x

Last edited by flyingazorian; 18th Oct 2007 at 12:35.
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Old 19th Oct 2007, 07:46
  #12 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Earth
Posts: 495
Very funny.
But 900. Your post makes makes your look rather sad!
Whiskey Zulu is offline  
Old 19th Oct 2007, 12:14
  #13 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sidenee
Posts: 25
Lime and limpid green the second scene the fight between the blue you once knew..............................................
A Yak From Yemen is offline  

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