Thick passenger comments
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Apology TightSlot
Came out completely wrong, didn't mean to offend, it's not my place to judge people on nationality, never done it and never will do it. Just remembered someone's reply a while ago about people getting the british passport and forgetting where they came from. Bad choice of words, i apologize again.
Take care
Take care
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I was just thinking that.
Any BMI CC on the Weds 53 or Thurs 60 every week keep an ear out. Chances are I'll say something daft soon (I seem to do so in other areas of life with monotonous regularity). Be interesting to see how quickly it ends up on here
Any BMI CC on the Weds 53 or Thurs 60 every week keep an ear out. Chances are I'll say something daft soon (I seem to do so in other areas of life with monotonous regularity). Be interesting to see how quickly it ends up on here
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
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benzonar / GrahamB73,
Be sure to mention Thick Passenger Comments as your inspiration for making their day. That way they will report your words of wisdom (or otherwise) and the thread will become self-perpetuating.
Be sure to mention Thick Passenger Comments as your inspiration for making their day. That way they will report your words of wisdom (or otherwise) and the thread will become self-perpetuating.
Join Date: May 2004
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r.s,
Regarding your unfortunate experience with that particular breed of low life, I thought you may be interested to see how the UK military supports you and your colleagues and their particular methods of dealing with said troublemaker. Some are feasible, some not and some you would just only dream of doing. The thread is on the Army Rumour Service website (ARRSE) at:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/...c/start=0.html
Personally, I don't think you should tolerate any abuse from scum who don't know how to behave themselves and any excessive bad behaviour (your experience fits neatly into the category) should be greeted on the ground by gentlemen in black uniforms staring through the sights of a H&K MP5 (preferably with the safety off). Apologies? Ram them where the sun does not shine; they should have thought about that before they gob*ed off.
Regarding your unfortunate experience with that particular breed of low life, I thought you may be interested to see how the UK military supports you and your colleagues and their particular methods of dealing with said troublemaker. Some are feasible, some not and some you would just only dream of doing. The thread is on the Army Rumour Service website (ARRSE) at:
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/...c/start=0.html
Personally, I don't think you should tolerate any abuse from scum who don't know how to behave themselves and any excessive bad behaviour (your experience fits neatly into the category) should be greeted on the ground by gentlemen in black uniforms staring through the sights of a H&K MP5 (preferably with the safety off). Apologies? Ram them where the sun does not shine; they should have thought about that before they gob*ed off.
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you are a gem for finding this, i have never laughed so hard. I like the one about beating him up with a overpriced tub of pringles and sticking a a/c model up his arse. PRICELESS! Would like to see what the Royal Navy have got to say as they are a regular on my airline and have sticky fingers and steal emergency equipment. Cheers! and the pax blame the crew while they wait for replacements. the royal navy must have a large stock of loud speakers and life jackets
airline life jackets (smart arse)
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Passengers comments
I working for a UK charter airline and over the years have met some of the funniest passengers going.
PAX: Can you explain why this flight time is so long!
ME: Excuse me sir, how do you mean so long. The flight time today is 10hrs and 20 minutes. ( we were flying LGW to Cancun in Mexico. And this was the normal flight times)
PAX: Thats a very long flight time. Is it because you are a charter airline and buy the cheaper routes compared to scheduled!
On another longhaul flight from the Dominican Republic whilst doing the bar service.
PAX: what do you mean i have to pay for drinks. I dont pay for drinks if i fly scheduled.
Also i have been to an all inclusive resort so all drinks and meals are free.
On some flights we have fun with the pilots by giving them keywords that they must get over the P.A system.
On a flight from Sanford back to Manchester we gave the pilot some very tricky words to get in. Sadly we missed the pilots actually saying them but realised they had said them when a passenger asked my "where's Clitoris Bay located. she also asked " how fast are we travelling and are the lawn mower engines going to cope".
Again there are many tales to tell
PAX: Can you explain why this flight time is so long!
ME: Excuse me sir, how do you mean so long. The flight time today is 10hrs and 20 minutes. ( we were flying LGW to Cancun in Mexico. And this was the normal flight times)
PAX: Thats a very long flight time. Is it because you are a charter airline and buy the cheaper routes compared to scheduled!
On another longhaul flight from the Dominican Republic whilst doing the bar service.
PAX: what do you mean i have to pay for drinks. I dont pay for drinks if i fly scheduled.
Also i have been to an all inclusive resort so all drinks and meals are free.
On some flights we have fun with the pilots by giving them keywords that they must get over the P.A system.
On a flight from Sanford back to Manchester we gave the pilot some very tricky words to get in. Sadly we missed the pilots actually saying them but realised they had said them when a passenger asked my "where's Clitoris Bay located. she also asked " how fast are we travelling and are the lawn mower engines going to cope".
Again there are many tales to tell
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Thank god im a pilot & dont put up with this 24/7
a few years back post 9/11 i was out of the f/d for reasons i cant remember- captain orders probably anyways the pax were boarding bearing in mind i was half talking to the captain at the time about how to turn off his mobile or something like that & in full pilot regalia minus the hat and woman aged about 40 and clearly a business woman with a brain asked me if i was a pilot and if i knew how to fly the plane, at this moment in time i was in a bad mood as the 3:00am starts were getting to me, and felt like saying no i have a pilot fetish & that this gives me thrills and this particular airline gives trained monkies control of A320's but as i had recently had but hand slapped for other comments to passengers i decided to smile sweetly an just say yes.- sorry if this sounds like a rant but how could you not miss the pilots uniform all the other pax noticed and commented on how they hoped i knew how to park the plane but anyway getting carried away- jennie xxx
The scene is North Queensland in Australia, which at the moment is about 33 degrees, and fairly humid. Upon having the front door closed by ground crew in Cessna Caravan, hand on starter and sweating like mad, German lady behind me pipes up ''it's so hot in here, excuse me where do I wind down the window?'' only to be responded with retraint by ''won't be a minute madam, once I start the engine, I'll have the air-con on''
The other favourite one liner here is ''Is the reef above or below the water?''
The other favourite one liner here is ''Is the reef above or below the water?''
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Smoking??!!! What the %^$£???
This happened to one of my colleagues. Pax boarding, heading to the extra leg room seats where my colleague was positioned. No "hello" back, no answer to "can i help you with your bag Sir?" BUT the pax DID ask: "where's the smoking room?"
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I managed to be an extreemly stupid passenger at LBIA last week. Not flown from there before, got myself confused and asked at information how to find my way through security. Information lady said "turn round", so I did and there is a sign, practically over my head sayig "all departures" and a big black arrow....
I felt like a total and utter muppet.
all I can say is that I must have left my brain at home...
I felt like a total and utter muppet.
all I can say is that I must have left my brain at home...
Upon disembarking at Dunk Island where admittedly there is porters to take care of normal luggage, pax spies another person getting off with carry on, looks at me and says ''Oh do we have to take our hand luggage with us?''
''Unless you'd like your hand luggage back in Cairns, I'd say that's a good idea''
''Unless you'd like your hand luggage back in Cairns, I'd say that's a good idea''
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Are you really the right people to call PAX Thick
Some of these are very amusing but having worked for an airline are you guys really in a position to make fun of your own bread and butter. I have worked with some super cabincrew, but I have also worked with some total arses who have struggled to string two comprehensible words together without saying like and so between those two words and not making much sense or the PA's which have 20 second gaps in them as they don't really know what they are saying without referring to the manual. So leave off you bread and butter and take a look at yourselves first.
Hover,
Relax a bit! People are funny. Some people don't get out much and get a little flustered in what, to them, is a unfamiliar environment. Everyone does silly things from time to time. I believe there was a thread about embarrassing things cabin crew has done to themselves recently.
I don't laugh at them, I just laugh near them!
Dea
Relax a bit! People are funny. Some people don't get out much and get a little flustered in what, to them, is a unfamiliar environment. Everyone does silly things from time to time. I believe there was a thread about embarrassing things cabin crew has done to themselves recently.
I don't laugh at them, I just laugh near them!
Dea
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Hover Overviewer this thread has been on pprune a lot longer than you have... many times we have reiterated the fact that this is nothing more than a therapy thread for those of us who spend our days inside a highspeed metal tube - no malice intended by anyone - just sit back and enjoy it! 
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>I still love when the pax go to the bathroom, and they look at the door in a state of confusion and
>try opening the door with the ashtray, or lifting the door handle up. I roll my eyes every time. lol.
Yeah, but to be fair it's sometimes not obvious. I was on an XL B767 the other day and the toilet door latch was pretty knackered; when closed the middle (hinge) of the door protruded slightly, suggesting that it might open that way. Combined with the "PUSH" notice on the handle where the colour was worn away, and the fact that you had to give it a fairly hefty shove to get it to move this meant that most of us tried pulling at some point.
>Walking on the aircraft trying to figure out which seats are ABC DEF, the concentration required...
Particularly when, as was the case with a BA B747 I flew back from the US on a while back, the seat you're allocated doesn't exist. (I think the check-in computer had been told we were on a different model - my row was by an exit and there were two seats where there would otherwise have been three, with me allocated to the "missing" one).
>It's strange but I find that loads of people turn dumb when they go on holiday. Maybe it's because they are more relaxed than usual?
Or, if it's an early departure, half-asleep. I had an early start from LGW this Spring - leaving home at midnight for three hours' drive then another couple of hours waiting to board addled the brain rather.
>Perhaps there is scope for a 'Thick Media Comments' thread..
Definitely. On the BBC news yesterday there was a feature about a taxying prang at LHR between a BA747 and something smaller. Although all such accidents must obviously be taken serioualy, the BBC reporter actually managed to compare it in seriousness to the terrible accident at Tenerife some years back (which, of course, was a take-off accident caused by the departing aircraft doing so without clearance).
>In the most extreme case, I flew with debonair (remember them?!) operating on behalf of LH.
>As we deplaned, an extremely rude German guy ripped into the purser, telling her that the service was terrible.
I was flying BA Club World last April and Brian (our delightful CC) asked if I'd fill in a customer service questionnaire. "Of course", said I. A few minutes later, as I ticked my boxes, he came past to refill my wine glass. "Brian," said I with a smile, "is there one R or two in 'terrible'?". His initial shock subsided after a couple of seconds into a grin and a "you rotten sod" when he realised I was taking the p**s.
>The seat belt sign was on and a woman decided to go to the toilet.
Ten out of ten to the XL B767 staff I flew with the other day to Larnaca. It was pretty turbulent, and the seatbelt sign was on (as a long-term SLF I've seen two or three pax ignore the sign and get themselves dented over the years). The first couple of "please sit down" announcements were polite. The third was equally polite, but made in such a tone as to make it sound more like: "Sit down, you cretin, or I'll pour boiling oil down your trousers".
A bit like the United Airlines captain at Washington DC a few years ago. As we were taxying to the stand after landing, people started to get up and unload their stuff from the overhead bins, despite requests to the contrary from the CC. All of a sudden we stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. The cabin crew tell me you're up on your feet when you shouldn't be. The seatbelt light is on for your safety, not my entertainment. We're staying right here until you all sit down".
Like many others who read this forum, I appreciate the CC every time I fly. Keep smiling, y'all - at least some of the SLF know what you're faced with!
David C
>try opening the door with the ashtray, or lifting the door handle up. I roll my eyes every time. lol.
Yeah, but to be fair it's sometimes not obvious. I was on an XL B767 the other day and the toilet door latch was pretty knackered; when closed the middle (hinge) of the door protruded slightly, suggesting that it might open that way. Combined with the "PUSH" notice on the handle where the colour was worn away, and the fact that you had to give it a fairly hefty shove to get it to move this meant that most of us tried pulling at some point.
>Walking on the aircraft trying to figure out which seats are ABC DEF, the concentration required...
Particularly when, as was the case with a BA B747 I flew back from the US on a while back, the seat you're allocated doesn't exist. (I think the check-in computer had been told we were on a different model - my row was by an exit and there were two seats where there would otherwise have been three, with me allocated to the "missing" one).
>It's strange but I find that loads of people turn dumb when they go on holiday. Maybe it's because they are more relaxed than usual?
Or, if it's an early departure, half-asleep. I had an early start from LGW this Spring - leaving home at midnight for three hours' drive then another couple of hours waiting to board addled the brain rather.
>Perhaps there is scope for a 'Thick Media Comments' thread..
Definitely. On the BBC news yesterday there was a feature about a taxying prang at LHR between a BA747 and something smaller. Although all such accidents must obviously be taken serioualy, the BBC reporter actually managed to compare it in seriousness to the terrible accident at Tenerife some years back (which, of course, was a take-off accident caused by the departing aircraft doing so without clearance).
>In the most extreme case, I flew with debonair (remember them?!) operating on behalf of LH.
>As we deplaned, an extremely rude German guy ripped into the purser, telling her that the service was terrible.
I was flying BA Club World last April and Brian (our delightful CC) asked if I'd fill in a customer service questionnaire. "Of course", said I. A few minutes later, as I ticked my boxes, he came past to refill my wine glass. "Brian," said I with a smile, "is there one R or two in 'terrible'?". His initial shock subsided after a couple of seconds into a grin and a "you rotten sod" when he realised I was taking the p**s.
>The seat belt sign was on and a woman decided to go to the toilet.
Ten out of ten to the XL B767 staff I flew with the other day to Larnaca. It was pretty turbulent, and the seatbelt sign was on (as a long-term SLF I've seen two or three pax ignore the sign and get themselves dented over the years). The first couple of "please sit down" announcements were polite. The third was equally polite, but made in such a tone as to make it sound more like: "Sit down, you cretin, or I'll pour boiling oil down your trousers".
A bit like the United Airlines captain at Washington DC a few years ago. As we were taxying to the stand after landing, people started to get up and unload their stuff from the overhead bins, despite requests to the contrary from the CC. All of a sudden we stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. The cabin crew tell me you're up on your feet when you shouldn't be. The seatbelt light is on for your safety, not my entertainment. We're staying right here until you all sit down".
Like many others who read this forum, I appreciate the CC every time I fly. Keep smiling, y'all - at least some of the SLF know what you're faced with!
David C
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Ok here's one from a couple of weeks back; Mrs R and I have been off on our hols and have a tight connection for onward trip over the pond. Our internal US flight gets a bit delayed so it's all a bit dicey on the making the connection front...(hey ho we miss it we miss it xrta days hol) any how maximum legging it and scamper aboard in the nick of time make our way to seats as assigned a pair window aisle down the back on arrival tfind that they are occupied by another couple.
Me: I'm sorry but you appear to be in our seats...
Woman: I have to sit by a window, I'm a diabetic
Silent Bob: ......
Me: Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, that's very interesting but you will find that these are our seats (show boarding card stub)
Woman: I'M A DIABETIC!
Silent Bob:....
Me (somewhat unsure of the connection between being diabetic and needing a window seat/aisle combination): well I'm scared of flying...
MrsR: ( Quick as a flash and this is just another reason why I know I married the right girl) "and he's a pilot so as you might imagine that's something of a disability..."
Epilogue: Diabetic woman and silent bob retain the Rimmerian seats meanwhile Rimmers relocated to...1A &B ah justice....after all
Me: I'm sorry but you appear to be in our seats...
Woman: I have to sit by a window, I'm a diabetic
Silent Bob: ......
Me: Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, that's very interesting but you will find that these are our seats (show boarding card stub)
Woman: I'M A DIABETIC!
Silent Bob:....
Me (somewhat unsure of the connection between being diabetic and needing a window seat/aisle combination): well I'm scared of flying...
MrsR: ( Quick as a flash and this is just another reason why I know I married the right girl) "and he's a pilot so as you might imagine that's something of a disability..."
Epilogue: Diabetic woman and silent bob retain the Rimmerian seats meanwhile Rimmers relocated to...1A &B ah justice....after all