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Probably been done before but made me laugh a few minutes ago
"What are your intentions after landing"? "Have a cup of tea". |
ATC: "ABC123 descend to FL280"
ABC123: " unintelligible (extremely faint)" ATC: "ABC123 I couldn't hear the readback, you are not speaking into the microphone" ABC123:angry and loud "I was speaking into the microphone, it's just that it was too far from my mouth" :hmm: |
STI
Pilot 1: tower, Callsign74, do we have a new STD?
Pilot 2 (unknown aircraft): I hope not!! (with laugher) Pilot 1: disregard.... Tower: (slight chuckle) Roger.. |
Heard at Essex International:
ABC123: "ABC123, request clearance to Fantasy Island" Without a pause, ATC: "ABC123, cleared Ibiza, CPT4R, SQUAWK 1234". Made me smile :) A4 |
Tracking south on the Singapore Eastern Frequency near Tambelan Island in the middle of the night, we hear a recording of a cat meowing on 121.5, several times over a few minutes.
ATC: "ABC, you hear somethin' on guar'?" (in a heavy Singaporian accent) Us: "yes" ATC: "Is it someone callin' or a pran' call?" Us: "What?" ATC: "You thin is a pran' " Us: "Not sure what a pran sounds like, it sounded more like a cat" ATC: "A wha'?" Us: "A pussy!" ATC: "Conta' Jakarta control......" halas |
Two recent
On final approach, cleared to land: ***81 - TWR, Are you familiar with the horse at the end of the runway TWR - No! ...... but I do know he is there. And en- route last sunday, 2500ft East Midlands UK. With LARS service for some time, happily burning through the leg when LARS wanted an ETA at an intermediate point on the leg, some distance away. At that time using a 1:250,000. LARS - ***81, please advise your ETA at AAAA. (long Silence) LARS - ***81, please advise your ETA at AAAA! (long Silence) ***81 - [different voice] Apologies; pilot not flying is having trouble folding his maps! LARS - We have all been there! :):):) |
TurningFinals, that's not funny it's poor controlling and awful service. Next time expect the puddejumper do all he is legally obliged to do in your MATZ, nothing!!
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<<i have fare paying pax onboard and this is getting expensive for them">>
Doesn't sound like the average puddle-jumper but still a twit. |
Doesn't sound like the average puddle-jumper but still a twit. |
overheard today in HKG during #8 Typhoon:
approach: cathy xxx proceed to hold point YYYYY cathay: yeah, we're going to hold here for 10 minutes til this weather passes approach: wow, you're optimistic! a minute later... approach: sorry i didn't mean to be flippant, we've had this weather all morning cathay: proceeding to hold point.... |
Flew in a friends Sport Cruiser on Sunday Kemble to Wellsborne. Textbook landing and a coffee before the return leg, little bit lumpier than the outbound but still very pleasant however after a small altercation in the circuit with an R44 on a decidedly non standard arrival my friend decided to have a 'moment' in the touchdown phase, resulting in not one but THREE touchdowns! ATC generously offered to only charge us for one, much to the amusement of all on frequency I'm sure.
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Coasting in, VFR, to Aberdeen speaking to female offshore radar controller.
ATC: "X123 Traffic service as you skirt down the coast", Me: "Traffic service down the coast. And it's not a skirt, it's a kilt". (I'm a Scot, and she is English). Got a chuckle from her, and from the other side of the cockpit. :p |
haha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahaha i love it such great funny storys from you cool pilot buddys of mine
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One out of many conversations with useless ATC in Paris Orly
Me: ready for take off Twr: nr 2 for take off, after AF. ...... Another AF checks in on fq, in French, and gets cleared for take off Me: what's going on? I can actually count Twr: sorry I forgot about you Me: vive la France...... |
Ready for departure...
Me: ready for take off |
Its debatable, I hear that and ready for departure.
Honestly I think it is changed too, but since I hear ready for take off every day I don't care changing since no one else does it here. Anyway, this is supposed to be a fun topic, don't get me started over what's correct or not in Orly... |
BAxxx: Hello delivery, BAxxx at LAM FL100
ATC: I'm not delivery, I'm Director. BAxxx: Oh sorry. ATC: Nevermind. Cleared to start and continue in the LAM hold |
Many years ago in the middle of the Indian Ocean on a very hot and bumpy night we could hear a female Australian voice trying to pass a position report to Colombo on H.F. The call-sign sounded like "Qantas Tin". After about fifteen minutes of being repeatedly stepped on by Madras, Bombay and Singapore and having her signal fading out and coming back in again she eventually got her message through. Loud and clear a very superior British voice said "Good on you, Sheila!". "Up your arse, Pom" was her immediate response!
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Student Pilot: Ground, xx-xxx, confirm, was I cleared to cross runway 15 or runway 33?
Ground: xx-xxx, you can cross 15, or you can cross 33 but at the end of the day you're gonna be crossing the same god damn bit of concrete! |
VFR puddle jumper transitting our MATZ , fast jet inbound, VFR traffic not visual with the fast jet. ATC - "acft orbit in your current position unless visual with the fast jet inbound for the procedure" Acft "wilco, where is the fast jet traffic?" ATC "Inbound to the procedure which starts at 10 miles" a few minutes pass... Acft "we have been orbitted twice now, request update on fast jet?" ATC "he's at 8 miles" Acft "you told me about 5 minutes ago he was at 10 miles, now you're saying he's at 8 miles" ATC "negative i said he was inbound for the procedure which begins at 10 miles" Acft "i have fare paying pax onboard and this is getting expensive for them" ATC "it'd have cost you more if you hit him" Puddle jumper pilot gets back in his box. |
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