Most idiotic things you've seen from a tower?

[Foxy Loxy]

Nope, this was in January. Quite worrying actually, because my leaving do was due to be held in it the following evening.

Foxy

[loubylou]

Well I hope you filed on that pesky marquee for taking off without clearance!!
louby

[coolbeans]

Easy

Some idiot spotted sauntering down one of our main taxiways, past the tower, across the active runway towards the perimeter fence, security apprehends, turns out hes some spod from the housing estate next to the airport whos got to get into town quick so he takes a short cut across the runway.

[Spamcan defender]

turns out hes some spod from the housing estate next to the airport whos got to get into town quick so he takes a short cut across the runway

10/10 for initiative.
0/10 for common sense

Spamcan

[dash6]

Coolbeans. So security apprehends someone who got onto your aerodrome?
Unless this is a small airfield,who is supposed to be the idiot in this scenario?
But then....Some years ago ground movement radar at LHR picked up a slow moving target on 28L (See I told you it was a few years.) Turned out to be a bloke on a push-bike thought he was on the A30.

[throw a dyce]

Many years ago we had 2 coppers who decided to take a walk down the main taxiway.Aircraft were having to dodge them,and we aren't talking about Cessnas either.Got on to Masu,who went out and ''Arrested'' them.
Their reason was it was a nice day and they went for a walk to get out of the nick. However they weren't proceeding in a westerly direction.

[Loki]

Once saw 2 fireman firing bird scaring flares, proceed to set fire to the grass area. Then they couldn`t beat the flames out with the floormats of their van. Next, they were unable to start the van to retreat from the fire.They then had to deploy a proper appliance to deal with the, by now, potentially serious fire.

I also saw a catering truck going way too fast on the apron take avoiding action against his colleague coming the other way....catering truck ended up shiny side down.

[coolbeans]

Coolbeans. So security apprehends someone who got onto your aerodrome?
Unless this is a small airfield,who is supposed to be the idiot in this scenario?

The chap who decided to jump the fence and take a short cut across an active runway?

[chevvron]

A Heathrow ATCO taxying a Tiger Moth for a solo flight. He was walking alongside the aircraft and giving it bursts of throttle, then running to either wingtip to 'steer' it across the grass and hard surfaces!

[Monkey Madness]

Overheard a conversation between a UT and his instructor on the correct procedure for firing Very's from ATC...

Insturctor: "the last thing you do after firing is to make sure that the Very has burnt out and has not set the ground on fire."

U.T. "ok - watch it and make sure nothing catches fire."

Next they go out on to the balcony for the practical.... All goes to plan, and a green Very streaks across the sky. Both the instructor and UT watch it, then deciding nothing more would happen come back into the VCR.

Less than 2 minutes later Fire Control calls up asking if we would like them to "go and put out the raging inferno we had just created on the grass by India Dispersal?"

Cue two very shocked faces .

Unsurprisingly a crate of beer appeared in the fire station later that afternoon, along with a very embarrassed instructor!

[Lock n' Load]

Apparently there was a very attractive couple in Aukland, NZ, who used to enjoy a little "afternoon delight" at the same time every Saturday. Being in the upper floor of a suburban house, with a bed below window level, they saw no need to close the curtains....

Until someone pointed out to them that the funny shaped building with the windows was the control tower for Aukland Airport (in a suburb off the airfield) and that they had a goodly supply of binoculars in there. The show stopped after that.

[Vlad the Impaler]

Saw a caravan being towed along the A3 last year at about 80mph shortly before getting all sideways and throwing the 4x4 tower onto its side.
Have I missed the point again?

[h73kr]

on the flipside, I recall a VERY pompous ATCO at a certain airfield with 'international' in the title (i.e. small regional airport with some non-regional flights and pretentions of grandeur). Even over the radio, it was obvious he considered his brain and his wage packet to be far bigger than anyone elses on the air-field. As a result of some wonderful ground clearances I had to avoid a helicopter landing directly in front of me, or drive off the taxiway (and get stuck) to avoid an oncoming aircraft, despite having clearance to use the taxi-way. Never even apologised (couldn't be wrong you see!).

.....Tower, Eng. - request permission to proceed down taxi-way X back to point Y?

.....Eng, Tower, clear to proceed down taxi-way X back to Y.

.......Tower, Eng., am partially blocking taxi-way with tug / GPU due stuck on verge after taking aircraft avoiding action!'



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..............'Eng , Tower ...roger'



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oh how I laughed!

[Goldfish Jack]

Can only agree with AlanM..

Have you notice how many controllers can talk themselves busy and create situations that need master's degrees to resolve.

KISS is what I say