Nicknames

[Yarpie]

Didn't know this Officer in the Service, but was told his nickname followed his studious avoidance of anything bu the plum trips.

Sqn Ldr ..... is know by his subordinates as "Seagull" as they have to throw rocks at him to get him in the air.

The name may also refer to loud squawking and cr*pping at the drop of a hat.

[7x7]

Sqn Ldr Fender (or Mudguard)- 'cos he was all bright and shiny on the outside, and you know what underneath.

typos!!!!!

[This message has been edited by 7x7 (edited 05 April 2001).]

[HeliAviator]

Chappy in the AAC known as Thrush; because he was an irritating c***. Another on 18 Sqn known as Earth; because he has no potential! :)

[Ham Phisted]

TCW - That Chap Wallace

Replace "chap" with four letter, offensive expletive and you'll get the idea - and he was.

[smooth approach]

"Vick" - he got right up your nose

"Spock" - he always f***ed Vulcans

"Fluffy" - Fat, loud ugly F***er from Yorkshire



[This message has been edited by smooth approach (edited 05 April 2001).]

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

Had a chap known as 'Kelvin'

because he was an absolute zero.

[Roland Pullfrew]

On the Ton a few years back there was a chap known as TLB (That Les Bast@ard), this was a bit of a p1ss take as he was actually the nicest bloke I have ever met! :)

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....and never fly in a straight line or your a dead duck.....

[Ramp Monkey]

There was a Loadmaster in NI called ALF- Annoying Little £ucker,
A year later changed to RALF... need I explain.
God bless OASC they commissioned him !!!!!!
By the way how are the stags!

[BEagle]

A singularly inept VC10 co-pilot known as TDLFCC 'That Deaf Little Fat C**t Ch*****m'

A certain now-senior officer who used to blunder about Base Area Gringo in the Islas Malvinas known as 'Thrombo' - the wandering clot - or 'AWF' - Avocado with Feet after his appearance in a flying suit

The absolute zero who everyone has had to carry at some time or other known as 'Kelvin Rucksack'; also thought he was a wheel, but easily pushed around, hence his other nickname 'Castor'.

......and so many more!!

[YellowBelly]

Knew a senior officer nicknamed "j" as he knew the square root of f**k all.
(ask a maths expert if confused)

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

I wonder if UJ is still in the RAF. Probably a senior officer by now.

Anyway, Urinal Jerkoff was caught...

[JimNich]

Had a Co-pilot on Nimrods once called Caracas (he was nine hours behind everybody else).

And a special thanks to all the "Gimlets" out there (dictionary description of which is "small boring tool").

[deltahotel]

LTW - lunch time w***. Was surprised by his mates in his room at Valley one lunchtime.....

[obnoxio f*ckwit]

Ramp Monkey

Does ALF = one of those big white birds?
Things you often heard: "S*****, f@@k off!"

Once knew a Wedge - simplest tool known to man (he thought it was after the X-Wing jock in Star Wars!)

[Double Asymmetric]

Guy I know flew Hercs - Diesel...no spark.
Then there was a guy known to all as COAB...C$%& Of a Bloke!!!

[This message has been edited by Double Asymmetric (edited 06 April 2001).]

[Andu]

Not exactly a nickname, but when the Ozmates arrived en masse in Malaysia Airlines post 1989, the the comely and sometimes very accommodating MAS FAs rather quickly became known among the younger Oz pilots as LBFMPBRs.

I think most will guess the want the first four letters stand for. The last three might not be quite so obvious. It was "...powered by rice".

[Wig Wag]

Wartime Naval Commander (WW2) known as 'Harpic' . . .

Clean round the Bend !

[kbf1]

There was one guy at RMAS we called Star Trek because if he thought you were posh enough he would "orbit Uranus looking for Clingons"

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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic HERD!

[1.3VStall]

Then there was the Tornado nav who thought his nickname BOF was short for Boffin, rather than Boring Old Fart!

[Genghis the Engineer]

Came across a Nav called "SPIN" - Shortest Person In Nato.

A test pilot, still a serving senior officer who got allocated the job of evaluating the Eurofighter small-size flying kit got the OFFICIAL title "UK Small Person", working for him was "UK Large Person", who was last seen flying for Virgin.

Phantom pilot of my acquaintance with the surname of "Dyde" just became "Upton".

G

[AffirmBrest]

'Sledge' - always got pulled by Dogs

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...proceeding below Decision Height with CAUTION...

[Preciousboy]

Can't claim to be the originator but:

Fiat

Fra*er is a tw*t.

[Audax]

And the nav known as Gobi, the space between his ears being the biggest desert in the world (not strictly true but the name was there)

[Max Mil]

Loud mouth on my first Sqn, Goas - Gob On A Stick

Affirmbrest - Also know a Sledge. Wouldn't be an F3 guy from CBY ????

[B9]

There was a senior officer at PTC towards the end of the last century known as 'Dagenham' because he was 2 stops beyond 'Barking'

[Nil nos tremefacit]

We had a small boring tool called Gimlet; when a second one arrived we had to call him Bradawl (also a small boring tool). :)

[Per Ordure Ad Asti]

Knew a guy at BFT called, very unfairly, FRISP - F***ing Repulsive Ignorant Scottish Pig.
Met a guy in Aldergrove called Angus, nicnamed "Zero g". Work it out.
Ex rotary mate called CIPS "It's Richard actually" W****n - C**t In Pilot Suit.
Had an old flight commander called Kipper, becaues he was wet, yellow, two faced and spineless.

[Wholigan]

Chivenor - long time ago, before closed first time.

Studes used to vote for staff member who was SOTD (Sh*t Of The Day).

So frequently earned by one particular mate - became SOTW (Sh*t Of The Week).

Eventually became SOTY (Year). Henceforth always known as Sooty.

[Jackonicko]

There are even some non-derogatory, but extraordinarily clever nicknames, thus one APO Lllewellyn (Senior stude and a very nice chap, wonder what happened to him?) was universally known as L4!

Heard a new one (to me) yesterday:

BOBFOC (Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch).

[FE Hoppy]

was a nav on nimrods called "BRIAN"
he thought it was a ref. to monty python.
B**** R*** is a nob.

[Preciousboy]

Jacko

Forgive my 0200 stupidity/drunkeness but would that not of been L5?

Please excuse me,it has taken me 20 minutes to type this !

[This message has been edited by Preciousboy (edited 08 April 2001).]

[pitot piper picked a peck]

Know a young un with the name of 'geyser.
He thinks it's because he has the temper of a hot spring in iceland,in actual fact it all comes down to the pronunciation :- geyser (guy's a) fuc***g k**b

[Jackonicko]

Only cos I mis-spelt it, Presh. Llewellyn. Even the Welsh.....

Speaking of Welsh, when I was training ViaVoice on my Mac, (speech recognition software) I sneezed, and it came out with 'are Llanelli'

[Andu]

Knew a guy once who shared three nicknames:
'Storm Boy' - after he stripped the leading edge anti ice boots off an F27 flying into a CB.
The 'Capt America', 'coz he thought himself to be a comic book hero
Then 'FIGJAM', for F*** I'm Good, Just Ask Me.

[Vortex_Generator]

Had a JEngO called "Leatherman" 'cos he was a useless tool that everyone carried.

[Four Seven Eleven]

"Turbine" - for the low continuous whine




------------------
Regards
4711

"The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking." — Jonathon Swift

[Davey Emcee]

We had a crewman called transponder,
cos' he was f--k all use at low level

[SH Monkey]

We had a very short SH Nav called GARMIN (small superfluous navigation device that you have to punch information into)

[R O Tiree]

Knew a bloke nicknamed "Exocet", once. Allegedly because by the time you saw him coming it was too bloody late to escape.

Also "Thrombosis" - a wandering clot.

[Sloppy Link]

There was a chap called 10-gauge who thought it was because he was like a shot gun. In fact, if you look up 10-gauge in the Army Metal Workers Handbook, it is is decribed as being very thick and difficult to work with.

[opso]

Golden Boy got his name after the crew got him drunk, dumped him in a piaza and emptied their bladders on him. He later became better known as 'TCC'. Thankfully left.

One bloke (now left, but possibly back as a reserve/aux) didn't like the sncos using the normal abbreviation of his first name as it sounded 'too italian'. Spent the rest of his time called 'Luigi'.

Then their are the one's reserved (not necessarily fairly) for female aircrew:

Milkshake - nice, but thick.
Emu - a big, ugly bird that can't fly.

[BEagle]

Then there was James 'Bisto microlight' S****. Because he was thick and rich, but slow and difficult to see in flight!!

Nice chap thogh - or so the baby dentist girlies thought. Hence the alternative nickname of Delta Foxtrot - dentist f*cker!

[Mister B]

Former BuccanTornado nav rotund and full of it known as PODGe - Purveyor of Duff Gen - last seen teaching in Saudi.

Seagull was a nav flt cdr on 20 Sqn in RAFG mid to late 80's.

[RoyalRock]

Arrived on new Flight and was introduced to SAC Mogadon (the slow acting dope)-turned out to be an incredibly accurate assessment.

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Staaaaand Easy!!

[Swingwing]

And then there was one of the earlier RAAF pilot lasses who became known as "Bou" (after RAAF Caribou aircraft).
For those not familiar, the type is slow and loud.....

[animo et fide]

Two spring to mind
Squipper on 18 called 'Earth' cos he has no potential
AGI on 18 as well, strangely, known as 'TAPS', Thick as pig's s**t

[Dunhovrin]

LTW was first called L##c the **** (it rhymes) but was told LTW stood for Lightning Training Wing because that's where we all thought he was destined for (even though it didn't exist)..

[Didntdoit]

Is there not a Nav on Hercs known as 'Pang' -that's the sound the frying pan made as it hit her face.

Then there was 'Driftbitch', as during one sorty the frustated captain finally asked, 'Whats the drift, beeatch?!?"

"Milkshake" was thick and tasty.

"Zulu" is an hour behind everyone else.

OK, all right already - I'll get me coat!

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....wasn't there, you can't prove I did it!

[BEagle]

Yes - the 'pang' story is correct. Her surname also describes objects she tests to destruction by walking across them!

[TorkNcT4]

There is a sqn 2ic at egxd called BUFT, boring useless fat ****, and he is still there practising his two sheds routine.

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like!

[Capt H Peacock]

There was a chap at Doncaster Military some years ago called 'Bungalow' - not the tallest chap in the world and absolutely nothing upstairs.

[Spur Lash]

An unsociable Loadie who didn't like to go out; became known as Pilot Light.

[TOBWARi]

Flight term at Dartmouth, class of wannabe aviators waiting for teacher.
Conversation starts with

A: “I know, lets all give each other nicknames. I think I should be Vulcan after the Star Trek character”

B: “But mate, you look more like Ferengi”

A: “No, I don’t like that name”

B: “In fact mate, you look more like a Gay Ferengi”

Gay Ferengi it was then…evermore.

Which showed him.

[Big Green Arrow]

Once knew a rotary mate who wanted to be a 'ffffighter pilot' and effeminately spelled his name with a Y intead of an I...yes it's you Sylvia..who was described by the crewmen as being like a nav light.....steady dim!

[Helmut Visorcover]

Anyone know two ****s?

[Strobin' Purple]

Yeah, I've known him since he was only 1 **** .

[PlasticCabDriver]

BGA

The same Sylvia who became "The Dark Shadow"?
NOT!!!

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PCD

[Mister B]

Tornado pilot in RAFG surname Taylor - known as Jenny - and he was a prk.

[PFL]

Bloke on a pilot course, name of K*****y. Known as ALF and ILS,

Annoying Little Fu(|<er
Irritating Little $h|te

after he was suspended a spoof fortnightly was raised on him extolling his lack of virtues, completed by his instructor, flight comd and oc, just got stopped before the cfi threw his bit in!

[Mad Pax]

Know of one called 'Scud' - you can see him coming, but there's f*** all you can do about it. And 'Ankles' - two feet lower than a C***!
:)

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Oi got a bran' new comboine 'aarverster...

[Ed Winchester]

Then there's IBM - The Incredible Bullsh@tting Man.

[Art Field]

And then there was BEagle!

[BEagle]

....and 'Granny'!! Whose co-pilots were all known as 'Douglas Bader' - on account of having no operating legs!

On the same squadron at the same time, there was also an office shared by 2 Flt Cdrs. It was known as 'Room 38D' - because it contained the 2 biggest tits on the sqn!!

(Jim U. only found that out last week!!)

[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 15 April 2001).]

[Art Field]

BEagle, be ye not touchy, it was meant as a compliment, there was no sting.

[BEagle]

Likewise, old chum! 'twas only an affectionate nickname - but we really did call the co-pilots Duggie Bs!!

38D was real enough - coined by one F Mercury, I believe, or perhaps it was the 'Chocolate Bar', after the painters couldn't be bothered to paint over the old numbers on the doors when they came to put new ones up. "Put 38D on this one", he was alleged to have said! Jimmy U laughed like a drain when he heard!

[This message has been edited by BEagle (edited 15 April 2001).]

[Club Tropicana]

Surely "Updick" would be a more appropriate name here!

[Hugh Been'ad]

How about "Lighthouse" Generally pretty dull with occasional flashes of brilliance

[Hugh Jears]

Had a loadie called "cadbury" - his specs had a half broken lens, hence the glass and a half reference.

Female crew called "Fugly", you work it out!

Captain ILS, as previously mentioned

[Adastral]

Tornado Nav called 'Kruger Flaps' - 'cos although he was in the jet he was F*£k all use!

Another Nav who had numerous, unpleasant, nicknames (all of which he deserved!); however, the cleverest of these was:

'Lift Dump' - 'cos he used to pop up and spoil things!

[Big Green Arrow]

PCD,

Why The Dark Shadow?

Knew another bloke called Thrapper..on account that he got caught in the act of self lurve in someone elses room by the room's owner, who also recognised the individual wearing his dressing gown to strobe purple in....he then ran down to the bar and didn't tell a soul....NOT

[PlasticCabDriver]

BGA,

All the Sqn wives were chatting about the nicknames that their husbands were called. Mrs "Sylvia" comes out with "all the boys call **** The Dark Shadow!" As they know him, the wives think this a little unlikely, so they go home and ask if he is indeed called the Dark Shadow, and, unsurprisingly, it's the first the blokes have heard of it! Apparently he had a badge with The Dark Shadow on it, and he used to put it on on his way home, and take it off again as he came in to work again.

Nice guy, nice and ....

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PCD

[Vinny Gerstroak]

Returned to north yorkshire after 12 months in much sunnier climate, met new flight commander( RAF exchange pilot) who was lovingly refered to as 'lobster' by the senior hands in the flight. He was so pleased by his new Handle that he had it emblazoned on all his badges, believing it to be just another angle on 'CRAB'. However when his tour was eventually up and we all took him for the usual P!$$ up in 'Mucky Duck' the reality was pointed out to him. He was happy (or B) to find out that his likeness to the said custation was infact that it also has its A&$e in its head.
"Better than being called 'S4!t for brains' for 2 years me finks"
:)

[This message has been edited by Vinny Gerstroak (edited 16 April 2001).]

[Detrimento Sumus]

Vinny,

Following that all cRustacean exchange pilots adopted the tac callsign Lobster, cos we had one on 4. Although to be fair I think he had realised the link to defecating through ones head etc.

Detri

[Nil nos tremefacit]

Short, loud, V-force AEO known as 'Voice Rotating Beacon'.

Female VC10 nav known at nav school as 'Tits on a Stick'.

SH chap, surname Tickle, predictably called 'Tess'.

[Wiley]

Waaaay back in my youth we had a CO Base Sqn (who'd been removed from flying duties very early in his career) called Group Captain Pantyhose. = nearest thing to a c**t you could possibly imagine, but not actually a c**t, 'coz at least they're useful.

[PaulDeGearup]

Had a stude on the UAS who was christened Sumo because he pulled an inordinately gigantic Doncaster Dragon at one party.

Base Pilot who was named ILS by the cabin crew coz he was ......common name it seems.

V Force co pilot who was given the epithet Doris by his plotter; think he still is known by the name 20+ yrs later.

[FJJP]

Nil nos,

Ref voice rotating beacon, care to e-mail me? NB, I'm not him!

[SWB's Mate]

There was a young-ish Fg Off who thought we called him 'Zanusi' because it had something to do with being smart - the appliance of science and all that. But it was really because he was always on another planet!

[PlasticCabDriver]

There was a chap on IOT who was called Galactic Commander *****, because he was way, way above a space cadet!

Plus the usual sprinkling of OTISs and OSLOs.

------------------
PCD

[In Tor Wot]

Used for a small(ish) female on sqn - GRUB. She though it was due to her diminutive stature.
Gormless Rancid Useless Bitch

[EmpireOne]

Antipodean CO who was a fat, pyscotic pr**k of man known by all of his subordinates as TOL - Tub of Lard. The 2 ice cream was equally overweight and obnoxious and was affectionately(sic) known as SOTOL - Son of....

[THINALBERT]

Slightly off topic but the Airbus A320 was given the nickname "John Wayne" after an asian airline crashed one on approach to Kathmandu a few years ago.
I couldn't work out why either until someone asked me "John Wayne, Didnt he climb hills, chop down trees and kill Indians?"

No Offence meant - honest!

[D-IFF_ident]

He may think he's shaken this one, but LSB used to think he was strangely nicknamed Low Speed Buffet.

Little Smug B*****d to everyone else!

[Send Clowns]

Well if GPS thought we were complementing his navigation then hope he reads this. The standard process while an Officer Cadet on sea training from Dartmouth has everyone doing his part of the taskbook work then copying the rest from a mate. GPS got the best marks by lending out his work with deliberate errors, then correcting his errors when other people had already copied it. Hence, GPS.

At JEFTS (Joint Elimentary Flying Training) even before he arrived his name became a tri-service watchword for doing things for yourself - if you made your own tea and didn't ask if anyone else wanted one you were a "tea B*******e". So much so that when he did arrive crabs who didn't know him said it when he was around :).

TOBWARi

Is Ferengi still inside? I'm not, and have been busy on an ATPL course so am a bit out of touch. I may be able to guess who you are, and if I say I failed AFT at the end of the course on Mk6, you may be able to guess me, and even recognise my contribution above (he would have been a term behind you at BRNC).

[slartybartfast]

In addition:
A folically challanged guy aboard a ship I was once on "fivehead" - it was like a forehead, only bigger!
And I once made the mistake of asking a guy in my new flight why he was called UMF - apparently it stood for Ugly Mother F*****
And at College a guy called Nick Alcock, soon got nicknamed "Noballs"
Oh and 2 fat guys on a lynx flight were known as LARD flight. "lynx aircrew requiring diet"

Thats all folks :-)

[stiknruda]

Guy I fly with now, is ex Tremblers (mid 90's)
I would love to know what his nickname was!

Any helpers?

Stik

[Larrikin]

A particularly obnoxious Kipper Fleet driver was debriefed on his nickname around the squadron - BLC. "Dunno what you're talking about boss, news to me!" It stands for Bumptious Little C***! Said BLC went to another Sqn where they didn't like BLC, so they renamed him TCL - That C*** L**. Anagram for BLC is Evil Dead. You know who you are!

Another was BRIAN. Stood for Bru*e Robb is a N*b. (well BRIAK was never going to work!)

FIAT.... Fr8$er is a Tw*t!
etc etc

[Steptoe]

And let's not forget about 10 yrs ago at Linton - UMITAF - Ugliest Man in the Air Force

[rotor tree]

Female pilot going through Shawbury about 6 yrs ago (now multis I believe) - LLAMFLAM

Looks like a moose flys like a moose

[TqNrT4NgGreenlightCWP]

...an Aircrewman observer known to all as 'Vasco' - after that other famous navigator...

...Lynx pilot known openly as 'Bullet' - later known as SABOT, 'cos they're even quicker...

...an exchange crab with an occasional unfortunate speech difficulty known widely as '44Foxtrot'...

...'OSLO' - Outer Space Liaison Officer...

...and the John Wayne post reminded me that we used to call the old shiny loo paper by the same handle, as it was rough, tough and it didn't take s%@t off anybody...

love this thread!

[HEIGHT SGOODBACK5]

NAVAL TYPE PROUD TO BE KNOWN AS TC (TOP CAT) NOT IT WAS REALLY TWO CELLS

[The Brown Bottle]

Catflap. Swings both ways, but ultimately, designed for pussy. (FC, obviously.)

[A. Leron]

you may know ah kid!
ROLF.
Right obnoxious little fuc*er!! :mad:

[ghost-rider]

A WRAF I knew on 8 Sqn was called 'Turtle', 'cos when she was on her back she was f**ked ... !!

... she had a little mate of hers, who was equally accommodating, known to all and sundry as 'Terrapin' !!

[Stoofe Din]

Knew a girl nick named 'SAM' (after a surface to air missile )

Coz once you were in her sights you were £ucked !

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[bushranger]

a couple of aussie WO gems...
FONC "Friend Of No C**t", and
FINKL "F*****g Idiot No C**t Likes"
standart Aussie understatement, wouldnt you say?

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clear in live

[The Cat (5) in the Hat]

Back in VGS days we had a Nimrod (cos he was always on the lookout for something wet), a Charisma (bypass)
and Wilt....1 look at her and you wilted!

Im sure there were others, but i cant remember.....most seem to be common though

[Back in the Barrel]

There was a delightful girl on my IOT course called "Clang", because that was the sound the shovel had made when it hit her face.

A chap at Waddo was called "Thrush" because he was an irritating C***.

Two girly nav studes at Finningley were asked to do recce briefs on consecutive mornings. Subjects: "Squat-eye" and "Flatface". Purely coincidental I'm sure.

[Ed Winchester]

Here you go, Back 5.

Is this what you are looking for!

[Larrikin]

Another from the Kipper Fleet :
AEO so loved by all, he is known as TFO (pronounced TEE-FOE):
Stands for "Table For One"
you know who you are!!

[Cooperman]

Now a Wg Cdr I believe,

T4 aka T***y Toilet The T**t.

Popular chap.......

[RoyalRock]

A Leeming Lovely from a few yrs ago was known as "Monkey Bum-Head". Sad thing was, that description was quite inspired.

[Ganf]

A bloke in my company spends all of his time in the hotel to save his allowances. Known as The Olympic Torch: travels all the way round the world and never goes out.

[Gary Astazu]

Used to have an Officer Commanding, went by the handle of "Claymore"

He was "anti-personnel" Bugger me he's a General now!

[teeteringhead]

I knew a Navy beefer a few years back who was known as "Splunk".
His real name was Sleman.

And then there's Crab beefer Steve "Wang" Carr.

------------------
tee-head

[Harry Peacock]

Old Squadron CO from the '80s known as PILL

.........Small, round and no conception!!

Very apt.

[Gash Handlin]

Chap I used to know was called Hymen, he thought it was because of his prowess at deflowering virgins, I don't think he ever twigged it was actually because he was a complete c**t.

[oldpinger]

If we've had them already I apologise;

MUPPET- Most useless pilot pusser ever trained

SPIN-Shortest Pilot in Nato

Two Dads- anyone with hyphenated name

[guyincognito]

SEAL - short for imbecile.

[Mr C Hinecap]

Knew another SPIN - he thought it was Shortest Person In NATO - Shortest Prick In NATO never worked it out.

Also a mate of mine went through a course with a guy they called 'Newark' - he worked out it was an anagram on the last day.

Slinky - everyone has an urge to throw them down the stairs.

[skua]

The tv prog this week Heroes of the Skies featured a USAF F4 squadron commanded by Robin Olds ( who seems to be a bit of a legend). One of his pilots rejoiced in the name of Everett Raspberry. Which got me thinking...

What would have his nom de guerre have been?
What is the most OTT crewroom nickname you gave encountered?

[John Botwood]

A newly 'Posted In' walked into a Ballykelly crewroom and was asked where his last posting had been. He said "St Eval": and added, "and I hope my nickname doesn't follow me!"

Someone looked up from his cards and said "Why, what did they call you?"

He said "Noddy".

We all said - "Hello Noddy!!"

[Airborne Aircrew]

One of my best mates is known is known as Noddy... Known throughout the Regiment...

Why's he called Noddy? Because he's got Big Ears... :}

[SASless]

Newly arrived Chinook Pilot....on his second Combat Tour to Vietnam....when some one pointed him out and said...."That's the New Guy!".....the New Guy copped an attitude suggesting he was no f@cking New Guy....he was Second Tour.

To this day we still call him ...... "New Guy"!

[SpazSinbad]

Some old RN SHAR pilots would recall 'RamsDog'? Long story short this nickname remained with RamsDog throughout his long illustrious (first to deck land a SHAR on same 24 June 1982) RAN career with short sojourn in RN FAA in late 1970s-early 1980s. RamsDog gained this nickname, known to his peers before even joining the RANC (origin is completely innocuous) but it was such a nickname that it was lifelong. Vale RamsDog.

A PDF (or two) about RamsDog (Dave Ramsay) is here in 'Documents Various' folder on SpazSinbad SkyDrive page:

https://skydrive.live.com/?cid=cbcd63d6340707e6&sa=822839791#cid=CBCD63D6340707E6&id=CBCD63D6340707E6%21116

[Adam Nams]

We all said - "Hello Noddy!!"

"My name's Phil, but my mates call me W****"

"Hello Phil!!"

[Adam Nams]

Some nicknames from my maritime days:

"Two-dicks"
"Flash" - who later become "Zulu" (as he was one hour behind everyone else :E)
"Fingers"

Mr Muttitt used to delight in swapping the more obvious nicknames around...

e.g. 'Spud' White and 'Chalky' Murphy. 'Spud' stuck for many years!

[TBM-Legend]

Robin Olds 2IC was "Chappie" James..

The pair were known as "Blackman and Robin"..

[pohm1]

A crewroom conversation at Leeming, with a new arrival.

"So mate, what's your nickname?"

"Well, they used to call me 'Diesel Bob,' because I refuelled a petrol landy with diesel twice, but I don't like that nickname"

"Ok, nice to meet you 'Diesel Bob.":ugh:

P1

[BEagle]

At some flying training school. one of the QFIs was holding court about speaking foreign languages. After about 10 minutes of boring the rest of the crewroom fartless with this, his colleagues became rather fed up....

"Well, do you speak another language?", they asked him.
"Of course I do. I speak Swahili!", he bragged.
"OK - what's err, 'dangerous snake' in Swahili?"
"Hatari nyoka"
"Deep river?"
"Kina mto"
"Stupid baboon?"
"Kijinga nugu"
"Well then, nugu, it looks like you've earned yourself a new nickname!"

And 'Noogs' he duly became!

[diginagain]

On swapping our US Army exchange officer for a new one, we had to be a bit creative with a nickname for the new incumbent, as we'd called the outgoing one 'Tex', after his home state.

'Caroline' didn't last long.

[Siggie]

American exchange guy said his nickname was 'Brains', surname was Schiffer. :D:D

[MG]

Twenty years ago, the Blue Angels visited the Finningley Airshow. I seem to recall that the USMC pilot was Capt 'Fudge' Packer.

[Duncan D'Sorderlee]

I colleague with the nickname 'Basher' - he didn't like it - stated to the crew room, 'If anyone calls me 'Basher', I'll bash them!'. 'Basher' it was!

Duncs:ok:

[denachtenmai]

When the first of the Nimrods for 51 was delivered to Wyton, it, and the installation team, were put into No 4 hangar. Now this was placed under the nominal control of our line Chief, "Arfur Daley" :) who had charge of 3 hangar, forever after he was known as "Arfur Twosheds"
Regards, Den.

[xenolith]

Many years ago a Puma pilot on 33 didn't like being called Beeker. He was so upset that he complained to the Sqn boss. At the next morning prayers the boss admonished those present " Beeker doesn't like being called Beeker so don't call Beeker, Beeker. That ok Beeker?

[blaireau]

A Nav on 43 in the '70's rejoiced under 2 nicknames; "Thrombo"-a floatin clot, and "Wedge", the simplest tool known to mankind.

On 892, Tim Curley was "Shortand".

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

A USAF exchange pilot I knew, Capt Deaux, made no attempt to hide his Stateside nickname, which was 'Dil'

[dalek]

One of my friends in the 90's went under the nickname Sledge.

Why?

In his youth he was always being "pulled by Dogs."

If you are still out there "Hi AT."

[Just This Once...]

Feel for the guys who have to try and find a plausible explanation to their wife as to how they acquired the nicknames 'Vlad', 'Deviant' or 'Shagger' (that's 3/5ths of a 1990's wandering Herc crew right there!).

[Craven Moorhed]

My fave was 'Village'

(as in every village has one!!)

[Tea White Zero]

well there are the classics:

Cyclone - a slow moving depression
Harpic - as he drive your round the bend
Thrush - an irritating c***
Fugly - F'ing Ugly
Arnham - a bridge too far
Milkshake - tasty but think
Seagull - have to throw stones at them to fly
Exorcet - you could see them coming but could bugger all about it to get out the way
Gimlet - a small boring tool

[blind pew]

We had an obnoxious FM who was named Batman as he was always rushing about. A couple of years later we had a union turncoat who sold us out join batman as his deputy and was always seen following him like a pet poodle.
The inventor of the silent cockpit.
As we flew with two FOs we would wait until a calm part of the cruise and start with " ere john have you heard the new joke."
The punch line is "cockrobin - what's the question?"
Ans " what's that up my b*m batman?"
We would then p*ss ourselves laughing over the intercome much to the annoyance of his lordship - we doubted if he ever knew his nickname as we were surprised that he was coordinated enough to learn the handshake to get into management.

Military connection? Ex Nat service...

[WASALOADIE]

Re Beeker

Had the fortune to meet an airline crew down route somewhere who some worked with a captain (the guy named "Beeker"), they were surprised when we said "oh you mean Beeker", to which we had to explain. They of course promised it would be updated back at their base soonest. So he probably is still asking not to be called Beeker now.

We had a crewman who was called "Gimlet" a small boring tool.

[diginagain]

Having encountered the Doorslider known as 'Spanky' *ucker, I often wondered about the source of the nickname.

But then again...

[CoffmanStarter]

Xenolith, WASALODIE ...

I met said F/O Beeker as he was then ... just the once ... there was more than a passing resemblance as I recall ... and, then, he did "play" to his muppet inspired epithet :)

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/Beaker.jpg

[isaneng]

Female Co, known as Emu - big bird, can't fly..

[Dan Winterland]

Pratt Flight Commander who had the last office in the corridor known as Crate. (C**t Right At The End).

[Dan Winterland]

Wealthy but not very bright F/O was Bisto. Rich and thick.

[Four Types]

American Chap.....'Slow' Lerner

'Fatal'.....who was in fact 'Fat Al'

I was in a navy crewroom when the squawk box called out "Is Sticky there?" to be answered by 'Seaman Bunn'

I had a name badge with the name 'Ivan A Tincher' on it. This american pilot insisted on calling me Ivan all night. I eventually told him my real name and explained the definition of the badge name...he replied "Oh Yeah!...thats really funny Ivan!"

In civvy street I had an apprentice called 'Bungalow' as he had **** all upstairs.

My favourite is a chap who is still around the bazaars. His surname was 'Cockyn' (sp?).....his knickname was 'Isme' !!!

[strake]

No one can remember his nickname while he was "In". However, after taking a cab just a little too close (OK, a lot too close actually) to some powerlines in Norway while chasing a dog, "Their Warships" decided that he would be best "Out".
He was for ever after known as Sparky.

[Geehovah]

Then there was "Wedge" - the simplest tool known to Man.

[Blacksheep]

AOC's parade practice. SWO reads out names from his list. "Louse!" No response. Again "Louse!!", still no answer. Eventually J/T Lowes is identified, but for ever afterwards he was known as The Louse. Quite an appropriate nickname for him, actually.

[Just This Once...]

Pratt Flight Commander who had the last office in the corridor known as Crate. (C**t Right At The End).

If it is the one I was thinking of (DH) he was then replaced by a man formed in his very own own image. Hence forth he was known as Socrates (Son Of Crate).

[airborne_artist]

My Dartmouth course-mate Chris McBean, forever known as Runner. Became a great QFI(H) before he succumbed to kidney cancer.

Malc Bunn (who might be the subject of Four Types' story) was on the same course. Was called Sticky too, or was it Currant? ;)

The course dunce (who joined us as a re-tread, and then got binned) was called The Hare, because he was anything but, mentally as well as physically. Ironically he was last seen in Met Police uniform outside MoD Main Building.

It was briefly the fashion in my days in green to give each other girl's names (long story), thus I became Plum (posh accent). One who swerved that was a big drinker, but picked up the name The Bowser.

[Saintsman]

We had a 'Butlins' who followed me onto the squadron from Swinderby, because he thought The RAF would be a holiday.

'Dino' the armourer who had a small brain. Used to love the name too...

A 'Shaggy' who was a dead ringer as the guy from Scooby Doo and another one known simply as 'T-Shirt.

It was quite common for people not to know the real names of those with nicknames.

[Two's in]

Called a guy "Growbag" in 1984 because he was full of shiat, proud to see it's still in use today - and he's still full of it.

[Ray Dahvectac]

A certain squadron had a 'Harpoon' ('cos he f*ck$ whales).

And a 'Fog' (thick and wet).

[BEagle]

Wealthy but not very bright F/O was Bisto. Rich and thick.

Ah yes, the ex-Harrovian who once announced "You can't have a minus minus a plus"...:rolleyes: Thoroughly bloody nice bloke though, but not quite the sharpest tool in the box.

We brought him back a bottle of butterscotch sauce from one USA trip - 'Rich and Thick' prominently displayed on the label.

He was also 'Delta Foxtrot' when writing the squadron's articles for the Gateway magazine - after his considerable success with the young dental officers. It stood for 'Dentist F****r'!

He fell for a well-choreographed 'food poisoning' spoof the night before he was due to go off for his society wedding - get hold of a copy of Jack Spence's 1990 book 'There I Was At 20,000 Feet - The Best of RAF Humour' ISBN 0-7137-2147-2 and you can read about it on p143.

The squadron office in which the 2 Flt Cdrs lived was known as '38D' - because it held the two biggest tits on the squadron. I told the ex-boss that when I saw him earlier in the year and he thought it was priceless!

[Rigga]

Earth....Low Potential

Notso...Smart

Boggy...always in the sh1t.

[Lima Juliet]

One of my favourites is OSLO - Outer Space Liaison Officer.

My favourite, is for a now sadly deceased Tornado Nav, who's nickname is Nerd. One day he decides he wants to be called 'Jet'...yes, never mind Nerd. He then asked the Boss to have a word in 1 liners - asking not to be called Nerd. The result? Now known as 'Not Nerd'! Next 1 liners the Boss says 'Nerd' and 'Not Nerd' unacceptable - the result? Now known as 'Still'...

... Still (Not Nerd)!

God bless you mate :ok:

LJ

[Spartacan]

Well known BA skipper known far and wide as 'Dange' . . . .

[Crashed&Burned]

I remember a fellow Cadet Pilot by the name of Mattick. His QFI promptly named him Otto...

[DGAC]

RCAF pilot called Dave Granger, otherwise known as "Grave Danger"!!

[Duncan D'Sorderlee]

A WSOp at ISK had for years been known as 'Otter'. Mrs decided that it was not on - he was to be known by his given name.

So, he became 'Snotter' - 's not otter
then, SNATCHO - Still Not Allowed To Call Him Otter
then SAM - Small Aquatic Mammal

Duncs:ok:

[Hueymeister]

Then there was Sylvia in NI. Why? Name contained a 'Y' instead of an 'I'. Mrs Sylvia, most unimpressed announces at Happy Hour he was no longer to be known as Sylvia...now to be known as something like the dark intruder...or some such guff..needless to say he stayed Sylvia...

Vera...(Duckworth)
Isacc (Hunt)
Spud...not sure about this one..

[salad-dodger]

all this frivolity needs stamping out:

Bad news Bear Grylls! Scout Association to clamp down on the use of nicknames 'because it encourages bullying' | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2220941/Bad-news-Bear-Grylls-Scout-Association-clamp-use-nicknames-encourages-bullying.html)

:ugh:

S-D

[oxenos]

" Super Vick" - gets right up your nose.

" Ten plank " - five times as thick as two short planks.

[Roger Greendeck]

Worked with an American a few years back who was getting very wound up in a meeting about some point he thought was very important. To emphasize his point he said 'Look, I just want to be frank...' followed by a quick reply from someone else in the room of 'Ok Frank'.

Needless to say he didn't see the funny side. Word was that he went in to see the senior instructor, who was unaware he did not like the name, to ask to have it stopped and was greeted with 'What can I do for you Frank?'

[John Botwood]

Circa 1958-59 a confidential memo was circulated in the RAF stating: "As from the 1st of next month, the practice of referring to Army Officers as "Pongoes" is to cease".

The Navy issued the same, but theirs stated: "As from the 1st of next month, Pongoes will be known as Army Officers".

[NutLoose]

We had a guy whos surname was Doe so was naturally called Dill
We also had another nicknamed Paxo as he was always stuffing birds.

[bosnich71]

We had an apprentice Framie called 'Aero' because his head was full of bubbles and an older bald headed tin basher we called 'Mudguard' because he was shiny on top and ****ty underneath.

[Robert G Mugabe]

First Gurka corporal pilot in AAC Who's real name was Tlm Bahada Gurung was known as Douglas.

[ExAdvert]

It turned out that one of the guys on our BFTS course was slightly dyslexic... his nickname immediately changed to "Bat Floke" :ok:

Hello mate if you're reading this!

[Old Fella]

RAF Rad Tech at RAAF Edinburgh was known as "Crayfish". All meat in the A*se and Sh*t in the head. and there was the EngO who wore white gloves and was known as "Beppo", not because of the gloves but because some thought him a clown. "Wingnut" was a favourite for those with big ears.

[HTB]

A selection from sqns various at LBH early 80s to 90s:

Gimlet - little boring tool
Jellyhead - Never knew what was wobbling about in there
The Vicar - very misleading moniker (allegedly)
The Major - could have played a leading part in a WWII movie, correct bearing, moustache and clicky-heel brogues
Biffo - the bumbling bear
Jenny - surname Taylor
Muttley - everyone knows who that is (aka "grande baleine écossais" in some parts)
Cannon - beacause he looked like a TV fictional detective of the same name
Podge - same bloke, "purveyor of duff gen"
Elvis - exceptional nav who turned up late for an early sqn mass brief (the late great, geddit?)
Sue Fartless/Useless Fart - anagrams of his real name

Mister B

[RedhillPhil]

Not military but I used to work with a bloke known as "Stocking Tops".

The nearest to a c*** in the depot.

[Rocket2]

One of my lads was called Gherkin, why I enquired "whats the most useless thing in a beefbuger?" came the response - fair cop!

[Hydromet]

Surname Kerr, nickname Wang.

Surname Dewhirst, nickname DeWorst, as in de worst f***ing soldier in de whole f***ing army.

Draino - clean round the bend.

Ted. Full name Shy Ted.

[30mRad]

A theme developing over these, but....

There was a young JN on the most junior GR1 sqn who had picked up the nickname "Lizard" whilst going through Nav trg. Not sure why....

Anyway, during his convex training, at the end of a debrief he said he didn't want to be known as Lizard anymore.....end result....you guessed it....

And a good friend of mine whose name was Cy, pronounced Si as in short for Simon. A dull air trafficker saw his name and insisted on calling him C Y as in each letter pronounced, even though he was told how it should be pronounced!

There are of course, the endless list of name badges mostly worn at airshows, some of which have already been mentioned.

[Duchess_Driver]

I can understand the reasoning bethind the likes of 'Chalky' White and 'Dickie' Bird etc....

But anyone any insight as to why Clarks are known as 'Nobby'?

MTIA

DD

[lj101]

But anyone any insight as to why Clarks are known as 'Nobby'?

Bay City Rollers?

[ricardian]

Why Nobby (http://nobby.askdefine.com) Clark?

[HTB]

Still at LBH - same time frame as before:

Two Sheds - same name as the character in the Monty Python sketch
Crusty - surname was a particular sort of bread loaf
Ferret - he looked like one
Stumpy - partly alliterative with his surname, and allegedly because of an anatomical attribute
Bilbo Baggins - take a bit of first name, bit of last, the rest follows

Mister B

[sisemen]

Then there was the WRAF at Finningley who we used to call 'Fanny' to her face but something far more crude behind her back.

Mr and Mrs Taylor really ought not to have called her Jenny.

[Dan Winterland]

Another Flt Cdr known as "Thrombo" which was short for thrombosis - a slow moving clot.

[BEagle]

lj101 - surely you're not a closet Bay City Rollers fan....:oh:

Dan, that nickname came with him from his stint in the South Atlantic. Where his appearance in a flying suit earned him the nickname 'AWF'. He thought it stood for 'All Weather Fighter'.......


.......whereas actually it stood for 'Avocado With Feet'.

The late Brian W******ley, who was of slightly dark, South European appearance, earned himself the nickname 'Shlib' from his BFTS colleagues - 'Snake Hipped Little Italian B@stard'. Which was a bit harsh. But he had a name badge with 'Wxley' on it.

Some visiting Air Wheel spotted this. "Ah, young man. Where are you from? Is that a Maltese name? How is it pronounced?".

"Err, no Sir. I'm British. It stands for Weatherley!".

Poor chap was later fatally injured after punching out of a bona jet which fell off its perch during an air display at Chievres in 1986.

[zetec2]

Likewise local purchase WAAF at Finningley early 80's named "Martini" anytime, anywhere, anyhow, am sure she will be remembered .

[ricardian]

In 1973 there was a WRAF with the nickname "Blue Band" - because it "spread more easily"...

[Yarpy]

Unfortunate young stude on BFTS was slight, pale with a healthy sprinkling of pustular acne.

Sported the name 'ZIT' on his growbag.

Pity all the other ranks who has to salute him with a straight face . . . :O

[ExHerkmate]

A USAF HC130 pilot was quite the prankster until they were performed against him.
From a Simpsons episode where Bart made up a name while playing Scrabble with Homer:
"A fat, balding, North American ape with no chin."

A group of JOs at Kadena had a photo of him in a rolled up stocking cap that made him look a right bell-end. The time came to go to Korea and have the photo made into a zap, but the nav with the photo was on det. So the enterprising JOs copied the photo from his official personnel file and made the zap. With the caption running around the edge "Qweejibo on the loose!" I've seen these zaps gracing many a crew bus around the world.
Unfortunately there was a massive sense of humor failure at the use of an official photo, and paperwork was handed out.
The name stuck for many years, in spite of a few squadron commanders standing in front of their commands and ordering that henceforth the name was not to be spoken. They were never my commander, so I thought it prudent to ignore silly orders like that.
R*** C**z just retired and it was difficult to not get on the training sqn tan and announce that Qweejibo was on the loose during his retirement ceremony in the auditorium.

[Wwyvern]

I once met a Tornado navigator of less-than-average-height called "SPIN". On enquiring if he enjoyed spinning, I was told, "No, it stands for Shortest Person in Nato".

[Justanopinion]

Why Nobby Clark?

Nobby Clark - shark

[HTB]

Nobby Clark

The best sensible (and most quoted on a popular search engine) explanation is:

"Nickname 'Nobby' for people called Clark/ Clarke originates from the fact that clerks used to wear top hats (known as Nobby hats) in The City Of London."

Mister B

Zetec

Was Finningley in some sort of time warp to still have WAAFs in the 80s?:confused:

[HTB]

And to cap it all, a whole (and senior) service has a nickname; that is really black catting:


Royal Navy's nickname

The origin of the Royal Navy’s nickname is obscure. Some sources, including the Admiralty Manual of Seamanship, say that it derives from one Andrew Miller, a zealous officer of the Impress Service during the French Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars, who ‘recruited’ so many men to His Majesty's ships that the navy was said to belong to him.
Earlier (19th century) sources variously suggest that Andrew was a slang name for a man o' war; that Andrew Miller was a supplier of provisions to the Royal Navy, with such an apparent monopoly that he was said to own the Navy; or that the Press Service officer was named Andrew Walker. The most reliable list of Royal Navy officers does not mention either an Andrew Miller or an Andrew Walker.
What is certain however, is that the Royal Navy continues to be known as the Andrew, and that there is no absolutely conclusive answer to the derivation of the nickname.

Mister B

[AR1]

One such Airwoman was known locally as 'Frogger' as she hopped into bed with anyone.
Back in the middle of the new-romantic phase, a new airman on camp had what appeared to be a regulation short back and sides until he took his beret off only for his tousled locks to spill down the front of his face. 'Haircut 100' became his burden.
'Dirty Harry' - on account of his romantic exploits..
Our chief was known as 'PACMAN' as wherever he walked, anyone who saw him walked away from him.

[Airborne Aircrew]

There was a young Loadie that would sneak his girlfriend at the time into the Odiham Sgt's Mess on Friday or Saturday nights in the mid 80's. People for rooms around would be kept awake by the sound of their enthusiastic lovemaking.

This earned her the nickname Electrolux because "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux"... It went completely over his head until it was explained to him.

[Lonewolf_50]

Met a Marine F-4 RIO some years ago whose call sign was 'Vahmit."

It was explained to me that for the first 50 missions over Viet Nam, he was airsick, hence the nickname. On on the 51st, that habit simply went away. The call sign didn't.

Ran into an F-4 pilot, similar vintage, USMC major, named George Stewart (or was it Stuart?) whose call sign was 'Smut.' If you ever asked him the name's origin, you'd only get a quiet smile and his standard response: "You're not cleared to know that."

Worked with a USAF A-10 pilot whose last name was Cates.
His call sign at the time I worked with him was "Defa"
He showed me a name tag from previous unit with "Forni" on it. That one's a bit too easy.

[NutLoose]

We did have a WRAF In RAFG they called the Three Minute Warning on account she was so ugly it was the only time she would ever get laid..

[Tinribs]

on an RAF PR squadron the boss was welsh and not well respected

An a detachment the following joke was told;
Irish accent

Michael were are going to the pictures tonight
Ok Sean what are we going to see
Moby Dick
Oh I don't like sex films
It,s not a sex film it's about wales
Oh I hate those hymn singing B,,,,,,,s as well

The boss became Moby, I don't think anyone told him why though he knew about the name

[Tinribs]

Was he the one who never made Op and was chucked off the squadron after setting off on an exercise without the auth cards

If so I flew with him on ther MU, the name was apt

[squadronblue]

A colleague of mine told me of a vertcally challenged chap called Holdover whose nickname was Foldover!
Of course the RN has nicknames for virtually everyone, there is even a special area of the RN website dedicated to them!

[The B Word]

Talking of WRAFs

Anyone remember the WRAF called "Scooper" - however the muck she used to scoop was a most unhealthy habit if she tried to kiss you afterwards :yuk:

Or the "Lester" and "Dessie" combo? What a racket that was...

...then there was the "Spanish Enfanta" (sadly now RIP)...

...or the uckers-named "double sucking bl0b f^ck" at Neatishead...

The B Word :E

[ACW599]

One of the great characters on UWAS in the early 1970s was Off Cdt Derek Thompson, who had already acquired the nickname 'Thumper'. I can't now remember the origin of this but it apparently followed him throughout his RAF career.

We also had the late great Wyn Evans (RIP) who went on to great things in the Jaguar force. Known to all and sundry as 'Druid'.

[airborne_artist]

Dave J*n*s, a full on Taffy, often referred to as Dai the Fly. Last seen as SPlot of North Wales ASU.

[26er]

Origin of "pongo" please.

Why "crab"? I was told that long ago sailors were issued with an RAF blue ungent to rub on their goolies to kill lice. Can this be true?

[zetec2]

Mister B
Zetec
Was Finningley in some sort of time warp to still have WAAFs in the 80s?

Apologies, age showing should have been local purchase WRAF, PH.

[Wrathmonk]

Origin of pongo? I was always led to believe it came from the phrase "wherever the army goes, the pong goes"!:E

[Innominate]

Not crewroom names, I'm afraid, but when I worked in MOD we had a scientist whose surname was Lemmer. It took me a long time to realise that he wasn't Welsh, and that his first name was Bill, rather than Dai.

In a later job we had a colleague who was wont to ensnare people in long rambling conversations. He was known as the Black Hole - incredibly dense, and impossible to get away from...

[Agaricus bisporus]

Have to say that "where the pong goes" sounds rather contrived.
I prefer the version that says in the 19th Cent. pongos - oops! sorry, lobsters wore scarlet tunics, just like the scarlet jackets traditionally worn by organ grinders' monkeys. And as pongo is an old name for an ape...

Betcha that's the real origin.

Interestingly that while the OED lists pongo as slang for a soldier it does not list crab or crabfat in this context which is surprising so crabfat must be another forces-specific word that has had virtually no exposure outside.

And as a nickname "Foo" Kinnell takes some beating. Or the infamous "Piggy-Eyes" Nicholson.

Edit to add this little gem lifted verbatim (that's all of it to pongos) from arsey pedia. (which, you pongos, does NOT mean bum boys...) ;)

Origins of 'Crab'

While some of the explanations below are derived from or purported to be the "official" version the RAF have been named "crabs" due to the fact that they have no limit to the number of sideways paces they can do as a drill movement. While army and navy have a fixed limit of sideways paces the RAF can actually march the entire width of a parade ground sideways.
Once upon a time, the RAF flew Spitfires with tail wheels near the tail and huge Merlin engines at the front. This meant that during taxiing, all they could see to the front was an enormous engine. In order to see what was in front of them, they had to look over the side and zigzag, thus they'd be moving sideways. On landing, they would sideslip to lose height.
Because of airfield security, the only time land-locked mortals got to see the RAF anywhere near close up was during landing, take-off and taxiing, when they were moving sideways. Since only crabs walk sideways, clearly the RAF was staffed by crabs.
Coupled with the fact that the Fleet Air Arm attracted all the best pilots and the Army always won inter-service regattas, a once popular forces T-shirt logo read: 'Fly Navy.Sail Army. Walk Sideways!'
Another more plausible explanation as to why the RN refer to the RAF as 'crabs' goes back to the days of rum, sodomy and the lash (about last week in fact). One of the more unsavoury aspects of the average matelot was his unfortunate habit of contracting pubic lice or "crabs" during his shore leave. The treatment for this condition was to get a chum or shipmate to apply a liberal application of a greasy blue/grey ointment (known affectionately as "crab fat") to the affected area. The proper name for the ointment was Blue Unction.
With the RN's usual powers of wit and sophistication the RAF were thereafter referred to as 'crab fats' (or crabs for short) as their blue/grey uniform was exactly the same colour as the stuff that the filthy little ratings rubbed on their swollen and lice-ravaged goolies. The RAF by contrast affectionately refer to the Royal Navy as Bum Boys or Fish Heads. The Army are Pongos, Brown Jobs or Grunts.

[NutLoose]

And of course the Uniform is Blue Grey because some bean counter realised there was a whole lot of material in storage that the Tzar had ordered for his Imperial Guard, but the deal fell through with the Russian Revolution see him off.

[Tashengurt]

Drifting a bit but I had a Police colleague who accidentally ran over a lad on shift. He became known as Virus. F*cks PC's.
Similarly anyone vertically challenged can expect to be known as Laptop, a small PC.

[Shytehawk]

I knew a guy in the RAF, surname Tupper who was known as Woppi.

[Lima Juliet]

Our blue uniforms from the Russian Revolution - a QI myth, I'm afraid. The original RAF uniforms were much lighter in colour, but these were replaced with what we have now around 1920.

Here's an extract from the RAF's own good book on culture and heritage:

In 1919 a new light blue uniform was introduced to replace the uniforms of the RFC and RNAS. The very light blue shade (originally woven for the Tsar’s cavalry and therefore on cheap offer after the Russian Revolution) was replaced by the current shade of Air Force Blue in 1920.

Here is a piccy of the original colour of uniform:

http://www.britairforce.com/images/raf_uni_1918_lb_a.jpg

[November4]

Is that BEagle's first uniform.... :E

[NutLoose]

But surely the original colour set a precedent of the blue grey that was just tweaked a bit from the original shade, based on experiance gained from the first version.

[Neptunus Rex]

Shortly after East Pakistan was given its present name in 1971, a Nav surnamed Daish commited some blunder or other. His boss, a Cornishman of celebrated wit, berated him in front of the other Navs, coining one of the best nicknames ever:

"You're a Bungler, Daish!"

[peppermint_jam]

Rather large female Ops SNCO that was nicknamed the Oppopotumus
Rather large rigger called the Jillderbeast (no prizes for her first name)
Mate with the surname Leah, he was called Princess

[Old Fella]

How about a C130 pilot I knew, "Trackless", because his legs were so short his backside obliterated his footprints.

[im from uranus]

A newly arrived mech on my Sqn in Germany who had no charisma whatsoever was given the name 'Kelvin'.

He was a tad miffed when he found out it wasn't anything to do with being cool! :E

[Fareastdriver]

I gather that in the mid seventies there was a WRAC warrant officer who lived in the RAF Aldergrove sergent's mess. She was apparantly quite big, fat and ugly and was known as the Kangorilla Kid.

One evening a (strangly) inebriated member grabbed a bottle of whisky from the bar and declared.
"This is for the one that has her!"
To this she grabbed another bottle and said.
"And this one's from me."

[Rocket2]

Then there was 10BA at the former Wiltshire air base, so call for being the smallest screw on the line :\

[teeteringhead]

"Crab" does indeed come from an associated antiseptic insecticide unguent, as I was told many years ago by an ancient two-and-a-half "looker" by the name of "Darkie" Holroyd, who must long since have gone to the big crewroom in the sky.

The full version - which was still current in my early service - was "crabfat" which was indeed the nickname of the specific issued against pubic lice, ie crabs.

Its colour was precisely that of the then (whenever that was) RAF uniform, be it the current blue/grey or the transient ex-Russian sky blue.

I think it was in the same conversation that one discovered the delightful French phrase for crabs (of the pubic variety): "Papillion d'amour" - butterflies of love!

[Jobza Guddun]

Peppermint Jam, well remembered, forgot about the Jillderbeeste!

10 Gauge (metal thickness) - thick as f**k and hard to work with.

NI late 90s - very nice lady aviator tagged "Pegasus"! Those who knew her will get it straight away, for those who didn't she was orthodontically challenged...

[ian16th]

How about a C130 pilot I knew, "Trackless", because his legs were so short his backside obliterated his footprints.

Once had an engineering officer of similar physical characteristics, know to one and all as 'Drag'.

[The Nip]

Sqn Cdr at Gutersloh in the 80s was called 'LOMBARD'
Lots of money but a right d*ckhead.

TAPS. Thick as pigsh*t.

[BEagle]

A newly arrived mech on my Sqn in Germany who had no charisma whatsoever was given the name 'Kelvin'....

The Stn Cdr of a certain station Somewhere in England was also known as 'Kelvin' - or more properly, 'Kelvin Rucksack'.

An absolute zero who everyone has had to carry at one time or another....:\

There was also a Flt Cdr navigator, affectionately known as 'Admiral Zig Zag' - Admiral because he once did an exchnage tour at BRNC as whatever the fish heads call a flight commander and Zig Zag for his navigational skill. As one pilot once put it, after yet another heading change to regain track (long before the days of FMS or AP NAV mode), "Doesn't he know a number smaller than twenty?".

[HTB]

Teeters

I recall Darkie Holroyd from Church Fenton, second half of 1969, when I passed through there on a HSP course (forget the number); he tried to teach us navigation, among other things, and I remember him as quite an intimidating character.

Another instructor, civilian met man, was known as "Brian the Snail" (Magic Roundabout reference), partly because of a passing resemblance to the gastropod and partly beacause he was a bit slow (in his subject delivery).

Mister B

[BEagle]

Another nickname for a certain Flt Cdr was 'Castor'....

It thinks it's a wheel, but is easily pushed about!

[Airborne Aircrew]

Just to add to the confusion regarding the origin of the name "Crab" I heard yet another one that is quite reasonable.

In both the Army and the Navy there is a limit to how many paces a formation can move sideways but the RAF has no such limit. Thus they became known as Crabs...

Just passing on what I heard... ;)

Editing for retarded spelling... :uhoh:

[camelspyyder]

The last CO of Finningley was BMW - Barking Mad W*lby.

And there's the stumpy F4/F3 jock who looks like a James Bond baddy - Nik-Nak

:)

[diginagain]

One of the students on my Pilot's course had joined us from the RCT Port & Maritime Regt where he'd bee navigating Landing Ships.

Having got lost on his first Chipmunk solo nav, he became 'Vasco'

[Union Jack]

The full version - which was still current in my early service - was "crabfat" which was indeed the nickname of the specific issued against pubic lice, ie crabs.

It's colour was precisely that of the then (whenever that was) RAF uniform, be it the current blue/grey or the transient ex-Russian sky blue.

All good stuff, apart from the fact that the Royal Navy is recorded as referring to the paint used for warships' hulls as "crab-fat" long before the Royal Air Force was formed, and that the name for the ointment subsequently derived from the colour of the paint ......:=

Jack

PS Re: ".... an RAF blue ungent ....." - Could have been one of many"!:E

[Hempy]

Pothole - always in the road
Tail-light - not bright enough to be a headlight
Slab - thick as a...

[Duplo]

We had a registry SNCO with an ample backside... the groundcrew called her 'two-canoes...'

[cuefaye]

camelcreepything



The last CO of Finningley was BMW - Barking Mad W*lby.



To you maybe. To many of us he's a good mate - so sod off.

Also close to breaking the rules chap.

[Wensleydale]

There was a senior officer who was known as Dagenham, because he was three stops past Barking.

[Saintsman]

We had a Welshman named Jones who's last three were 633.

He was known as Jones the Squadron.

We also had a Jones the Dick...

[peppermint_jam]

Marble (sharp as a...)

[Cornerstone958]

Just a couple
If Brains were made of rubber he would not have enough to make a pair of Flip Flops.
As much use as a back pocket in a sock or as much use as an ash tray on a motorbike.

[Phoney Tony]

We had a chap on my Linton on Ouse Crse called Andy Stalton. From day one he was known as Nobby Stall Turn!

[Rigga]

Brilliant stuff guys!

Just remembered three individuals that were renamed on ChinDet during GW1...

Jack, MAC and the JCB.

Jack - cos he got a free ride to civilisation but didnt let anyone else have a chance of going.

MAC - Man's a C**t (no futher details)

JCB - Job Creating Bast**d (no further details)

[Mend em]

Was introduced to a range of lads as a guest; all had a nickname, none of which I can remember. I was also introduced to a delightful young lady known as 'The Dentist'. After enquiring (a few Happy hour beers in) as to the reason for the nick-name - it transpired that the delightful young lady was the Station Dentist.

[dagenham]

LID

Light house in the desert, very bright **** all use

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Gobi - the man was a cultural desert.

Razor - and after two tours as a VC10 co- he still thought it was because he was sharp.

[ExAscoteer]

We had a (rather tense) Co (later Captain) on the Herc force known as 'Rolex'.



He was self-winding.

[Top West 50]

Kelvin Rucksack?

[DX Wombat]

Tonight I needed something to make me smile. Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen for a job well done. :ok:

[MG]

Leatherman - a small tool that everyone carries.

[BEagle]

One of my more able UAS students had the surname Towell.

After he'd been awarded his PFB 'budgie wings', I congratulated him in the crewroom and said "So that'll make you a 'Towell with Wings' then..... We'll have to think of a suitable nickname for you".

The girls just glared rather frostily.....:uhoh:

[Adam Nams]

We had a Welshman named Jones who's last three were 633.

Reminds me of a certain officer named Plank whose last 4 were 0000

There was a certain Nimrod Nav captain nicknamed 'Ricardo' (as in Ricardo Cranium)

(I know, it could be any of them ;) )

[Exmil]

I was on the same sqn as Fatal; I remember the first day he was on the flying programme crewed with "Crash".

There was a Flt Cdr who was a bit of a control freq. (sic) nicknamed TAD.

On a previous squadron there was a brilliant Flt Cdr who was getting a bit portly nicknamed F-squared (fat f****r); but you would never dare to say that in ear shot.

[Surplus]

STROBE- usually dim with flashes of brilliance.

Barry Potter - half Malaysian with round glasses and the haircut.

[JESSIE ELIZABETH]

I asked why was Bob Moles called 'sleeves.' Reply being because his name is Robert. So I asked please explain. i.e R. Moles ( armholes)-hence 'sleeves.'

[Exrigger]

Chief called Swan Vesta - Red head, white body (allways wound up)

NB - Nitrogen Bottle or nitrogen - dirty git with black neck and grey body

Wingnut - hopefully obvious

Rigga: I don't remember who those refer to from 91, if you get time PM me on and give us a clue (probably need to tell me what their postion was as I am terrible at putting names to faces)

[HTB]

Met a couple of crews from the 119th Wing, North Dakota Air National Guard (the "Happy Hooligans") some time ago at the London (Ontario) Air Show (late 80s); they were flying F4Ds at that time.

They wore name badges showing that they were all related (must be a ND thing); the Gozinya brothers - Rod, Woody, Hardy and I forget the fourth one's name (supppose it could have been "Dick").

Mister B

[sangiovese.]

Kelvin Rucksack to explain.....was the absolute zero who had to be carried everywhere.

He was the man of recycled paper to save money for the photocopiers....which jammed every machine on base which resulted in...you can guess the rest

[30mRad]

Allegedly there was a female nav at Lyneham who was known as Drift Bitch. The story I heard was that during a procedural instrument approach the young lady (new to the sqn and keen to show off her skills) started pattering the approach plate (joining for a sector blah, QDM is blah etc etc) and the handling pilot apparently said "shut up and tell me what the drift is". No idea how true it is, but heard from more than one person. Anyone care to confirm or deny?!

Before anyone criticises I'm not suggesting that what she was saying isn't good CRM/SOP etc, merely reporting what I was told.

[54Phan]

At the Trenton Air Show circa 1989, I met a 29 Sqdn Tornado crewman whose flight suit patch read "Mustafa Beer".

[ExAscoteer]

No idea how true it is, but heard from more than one person. Anyone care to confirm or deny?!Not exactly.

She got the nickname on the OCU.

The SOP for Herc Navs was to give the pilots the drift so that you could adjust the downwind leg in the visual circuit.

The story goes that our heroine was a little bit behind the aircraft and, having asked for the drift a couple of times, the student Captain came out with the immortal line:

"Oi, give me the f***ing drift, bitch!"





She was also known on the Sqn as 'Nav Bag'.