A dilemma!

[againstgravity]

Is it selfish to pursue flight training if one has young children? I wanted to fly since I was very young but did not have an opportunity to do it in college. Now I can pursue flight training, but I have young children.

I have this nagging suspicion that I should probably not be doing this. Doing something that probably has more than average risk seems unfair to the children. On the other hand, not following my dream is also not an easy choice. Any advice?

[bubbers44]

Your choice, I just spent a 40 year career with no major incidents. Flying is not risky unless you chose to make it so.

[J.A.F.O.]

There might be all kinds of reasons why you shouldn't fly but what kind of parent would you rather have, one who was gloomy and, at some level, resented the limits imposed on his/her life or one who was passionate and fulfilled and could share their passion with you?

I know which I'd choose and I know that my children all remember who the pilot was the first time they flew.

No-one can make your choice for you but life is full of risk and the only way to live the kind of life where there is no danger is to live in a way in which you are not much of a role model anyway.

I think the only way in which it might be deemed selfish is if the money for flight training was depriving them. If you've got the cash then I can't see what's selfish.

It's estimated that 3000 people die in car accidents every day worldwide and about 88 in aviation accidents- perhaps you should stop driving.

[Pace]

I was given a lovely saying today ! Life is not about how many breaths you take it's about how many breaths it takes away!
It's your life are you going to avoid everything you consider holds any risk ? If so your kids will think what a dull boring dad they have.
Mountain walking carries a higher risk but I bet you would not think twice about that or mountain bike riding!
Your kids will look to you and learn from you. My ex was petrified of birds to the extent that we had to avoid city squares with pigeons there!
Why? Because her aunt was also petrified of birds and told her as a child to come away.
Stop being a wet ! Your not doing your kids any favours with that attitude but more than that your not doing yourself any favours at all .
Yes learn to be the best pilot you can and fly safe but please do not take that attitude or your letting your kids down and will turn them into adult nimbies!

Pace

[bubbers44]

ag, I don't know how serious you are about an aviation career but I have hundreds of airline pilot buddies and not one has been killed flying an airliner. You have to decide because losing your life is not really a probability, I think you are using this as a way out of trying. Your choice.

[againstgravity]

Thank you for the advice. I think ultimately I understand that not following my dream is not going to do anyone any favors. I already have a career that helps put food on the table and spouse probably sees this "following the dream" to be a bit of being selfish, but not completely against it.

I understand once I were to get to the airliners and I were to to be reasonably competent risk goes down a lot. But the 40+ year old training equipment that we have in this region is a bit of risk probably. On the other hand it is what everyone who lives in this region has to deal with.

Besides, probably I would resent it too much if I gave the training up, so probably not be doing any good regarding the children.

[Pace]

AG

Read your response and see how many times you have written the word probably :ugh:
Look I don't want to give you a hard time but you are coming over as very indecisive.
You wanted to be an airline pilot ? You now have a good job which allows you to make the choice to take up flying ( a decision ) You bring Up the excuse that flying maybe dangerous and you owe it to your kids not to do anything dangerous :yuk:
The aircraft are too old (does that make them unsafe? They are still in one piece after 40 years of heavy use)
Being are worrier and a guilt freak is a problem but you need to let go a little and have fun yourself! Your kids will pick up on the fun dad with some passion in his soul! do read your own messages

Pace

NB I am writing this from the USA having just completed my citation 550 recurrent god I could think of loads of reasons why not to bother!
The only regrets are not attempting to do things you want
It's your life and I am sure you will find a reason not to do it :(PROBABLY

[Piper.Classique]

That's interesting. Not knowing the OP's sex, I assumed from the context, female. Pace assumes male.
Also, are we looking at recreational flying or commercial? It will make a difference. Recreational flying shouldn't tear the arse out of the household budget if done in a reasonable manner (as in, don't buy a new jet right away :) )
Getting a commercial and starting a whole new career is another thing entirely.

Now the risk assessment: as safe as you care to make it. I started on gliders in 1980, CPL in 1990 which I only used for instructing, balloon pilot in 1999, and still fly , balloons, gliders, and power. The Cub has been flying longer than I have, properly maintained and cared for. The age of the aircraft is not relevant to safety.

Your attitude is, and you need to make your own informed choice what to do. Your children won't thank you for being a boring parent, and if it is your money, YOU choose what to do with it. Mary will be along in a moment to tell you to fly a glider. Good idea. Just off to do that myself.

[Heston]

Nobody regrets on their death-bed the things they did, only the things they didn't do.

[tmmorris]

If you're talking about recreational flying, take the kids! I did my PPL before I had children, but as soon as my son was about 2 he was begging to come flying and still does (aged 9 he is getting pretty competent at straight & level and level turns...).

There are two areas you need to be comfortable with:

a. the cost - are you happy that you can provide everything your children need and still afford the flying? (A bit of a stretch for me but just about OK.)

b. the safety. This has been done to death on here before (sorry, unfortunate choice of phrase) but after a lot of discussion it came out as about the same as riding a motorbike - not a cautious option, but not completely unreasonable.

Tim

[xrayalpha]

Is it more selfish to have kids when you want to train to become a commercial pilot?

Life is full of compromises. Some aircraft take loads of passengers and loads of runway (A380), other can take off in almost no distance, but carry a lot less load (Cub).

Anyway, about a third of marriages end in divorce, so you'll hardly see the kids anyway!

(In other words, do what makes you and your spouse happy: that's what will keep the kids happy too)

[Johnm]

This isn't a dilemma per se, people with kids ride motorbikes, race cars, sail in the America's Cup, climb mountains, go caving, work on the railway or building tunnels or spend half the year on oil rigs, etc. etc.....

As long as your life insurance covers what you are doing, flying is no different and statistically less risky than quite a few of the above.

[Jetblu]

Oh it's you again! :eek::) after sorting out the landings and causing a near punch up, you are now wondering if it's all a good idea. Typical bl**dy Woman!
Joke! :)

My advice is this. Follow your dream and get your wings. Do not worry about the 40 year airframes, I am sure that they are well maintained. My children thoroughly enjoyed flying and have visited many countries. Your chances of having an accident in a automobile are far far greater than in an aircraft, but "if" you do, dust yourself back down and climb back in.

Your biggest dilemma will soon be what child you sit in the right hand seat for the outbound leg.

Good luck. Safe flying. :ok:

[Pilot.Lyons]

Rather regret something you have done, rather than something you haven't

That way you dont grow up to be one of those bitter old men/women who seemingly hate the youth for wasting their chance!

Im only 35 (only!!) and i have thought that way for years.... Oh and boy do i have some stories ;)

..... And scars :-/

[Pace]

Regret Gravity

Sorry if I misplaced your gender but my advice holds true for either!
You are not doing your kids any favours by loading your own fears or restrictions onto them !
I was lucky in having a mum who within reason let me do what I wanted to do including building a tree house 20feet above ground when I was seven / my ex was brought up by over cautious parents and was scared of everything from
Birds to putting in weight with resulting eating disorders and a bad case of panic attacks and not being able to leave the house!
So beware your fears are based on real danger and not perceived as the worst you can do is to load your own kids with your own fears

Pace

[Pilot.Lyons]

I agree with pace

[Pilot DAR]

But the 40+ year old training equipment that we have in this region is a bit of risk probably.

Probably no more than a one year old plane, which has yet to demonstrate it's vices, and is being maintained by well meaning people with no maintenance background on type.

Three days ago, I did a one hour prepurchse/preflight inspection of a very nice C182RG. I put my wife in, and flew it 2000 miles across the United States, and into Canada, to it's new home. As I flew along, I reminded myself that this was a 32 year old aircraft, and here I was thinking it was "new" from my perspective. It's 6 years newer than either of my planes, and was built 5 years after I got my PPL - who's old?

[bartonflyer]

One of my great joys was taking my kids flying once I got my license - then repeated by taking my grandkids some years later.

If you're concerned on learning in "40 yr old" aircraft then do something different - in the States as I understand it you can gain a Sports Pilot ticket flying a new CTLS or the equivalent. Then if flying is for you go on to the next stage.

JFDI !!

[againstgravity]

Thank you for all the good advice. Ultimately there is risk in everything we do, and it was nice to hear that I am not the most selfish person for wanting to pursue this dream. Maybe verdict would have been different on a different forum : ) but I like this one.

And, thank you for highlighting that giving up the dream is not risk free. The resentment and regret would undoubtedly be no picnic.

[A and C]

I would not worry about the physical dangers of flying, as long as you don't cut corners the risk is small.

The risk to the health of your bank account is an entirely another matter !

[nickbrettfly]

I'd agree the risk is very small. Find a good school, try it out, see how you go- why not go for a PPL for the time being and look to involve your kids?

[Purzel]

Hello AG!

I suppose you are talking about recreational flying. As said before, 2 things need considered:

1: Risk
2: Money

Point 1 has been discussed, flying is not suicidal or terribly dangeorus, and 40+ year old Planes are no problem. Learned to fly in something older than that myself.
For point 2 you already stated it would be OK for your situation and you would not impoverish your family (at least I understood it that way).

Besically, these questions arise a lot of times for things that are expensive (percieved as dangerous maybe) and are not objectively needed.

I once read a nice article by Bud Davisson, maybe this helps you along in making your decision:

Acrophobia - Grassroots (http://www.airbum.com/grassroots/GrassrootsProcrastination.html)

Best regards,

Purzel

[tmmorris]

Your biggest dilemma will soon be what child you sit in the right hand seat for the outbound leg.

Aye, there's the rub.

Tim