Unusual Student Responses

[Hugh Jarse]

Colleague of mine once had a student from SE Asia. The first rule when dealing with foreign students is that what you say usually means something completely different to the student. One example is the word 'endurance'.
In SE Asian countries this word has nothing to do with flying.

Instructor: "What is your endurance, Bloggs?"

Student: "I like it very much, sir"

Student giving PFL briefing: "We have had a slight engine failure. Please remove all sharp objectives. Sir, please pull out your teeth and put them under your seat......."

Another student almost crashes during a dual session of crosswind circuits. Instructor decides on a full stop and taxies back to the runup bays. Following some sound re-briefing, he asks the student if he has any questions. The student replies: "May I use the crosswind landing technique, sir?"

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non donatus rodent anus

[Redback]

A fellow instructor was returning to the airport and pointed out to his student that they were flying 200' too high. He asked the student how he would correct this error. The student promptly turned the QNH knob and lowered the altimeter to read the correct altitude.

[hiccup]

A famous incident when an Asian student had forgotten to set Txpr to mode C, after several requests from ATC to "squawk Altitude", set 3500 on the transponder.... or (from another country), asked to standby by flight service, replied: 'So sorry no room in aircraft, request sitby'....

[Hugh Jarse]

Same college, different student. In the mess hall there was a 'request' book. One student (obviously had too much flying on his mind):

"Request more beacon for breakfast"

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non donatus rodent anus

[Hugh Jarse]

In the circuit:

ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, traffic for you is a Cap-10 on low downwind. Do you have the A/C sighted?"

VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"

ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, do you have the A/C sighted? He's now turning base, 10 o'clock low."

VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"

ATC http://www.avnet.co.uk/pprune/Public_html/forum/frown.giffrustrated) "Alpha Bravo Charlie, is that a YES callsign or a NO callsign?!!!"

VH-ABC: "Yes callsign".

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non donatus rodent anus

[Charlie Foxtrot India]

Practice forced landings on flight tests are a good source of unusual responses, especially on the passenger brief. When I learned to fly it was "Take your pens out of your pocket!!"
In Oz it's "Take your false teeth out!"
And I recently flew with a Seth Effrican, who told me to "Take all your stilletto shoes off". Forget the seatbelts and the brace possie!
Then there was the student who patiently told me there was nothing wrong with the engine, I'd simply closed the throttle by mistake. *Sigh*
There are some other good ones on the Jandakot Tower page.http://www.swannet.com.au/moby/jandakot in the "did ya hear?" section.

[JMS]

As an ATCO for Betty Windsor's Broad Arrow company I worked at one of her fine flying training establishment's and many funnies were heard on the RT - one Middle Eastern Prince used to fly visual circuits yelling "get out of my way" at anyone in front of him. Another student called for radar pickup and vectors, stating he was at FL900. My sharp colleague replied "report re-entry" to the bemused young chap. Mind you, we didn't think "Mayday Mayday Practice Mayday" was very funny - till the student marched all the way to the Tower and back to apologise.

[buzad]

I had a strange thing happen the other day. I was flying with some student. I had just demonstrated a technique. I passed control to the student and said 'You have control' to which the student replied 'I have control'. The funny thing was that the student didn't have control thus demonstrating a lack of situational awareness. We did have a good chuckle over that one at the bar later that evening, over a pint

[NAVSTAR]

ATC: N4732B, are you a SKYHAWK?
N4732B: No Sir, I am a student Pilot!

[Deputy]

I was watching the circuit traffic from the club house when a C152 made what looked liked a normal round out, but a little high. At 20ft it rapidly rolled to near 90 degree angle of bank, back to level then limp back into the circuit for a normal landing.
The instructor onboard had told the student to look at the end of the runway, so the student did....
the one BEHIND him, not the one in front.

[Hugh Jarse]

Conducting a session of circuits during an initial twin endorsement. Turning base, and the student has overlooked extending the undercarriage. Student reduces power to commence descent.

Gear warning horn: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

Instructor:"What could that be,Bloggs?"

Student:"We are stalling, sir. But don't worry, we have 100kts!" http://www.avnet.co.uk/pprune/Public_html/forum/frown.gif

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Perempuan gemuk tidak dibenarkan



[This message has been edited by Hugh Jarse (edited 23 November 1998).]

[CHICKENTRAINER]

A colleague many years ago had a student experiencing difficulty map reading. All was going well on a navex one day with bloggs studying map then locating features on ground.

Approaching a particular feature, bloggs says "railway turns right 90 degrees, town at bend, mountain in background". Bloggs looks ahead and identifies all features.

Colleague says to bloggs "what else about ralway"?

Bloggs looks at map, looks and looks at map, then in frustration looks at ground to see railway disappear into tunnel (said feature alluded to by colleague).

"AVALANCHE" shouts bloggs with much gusto.

Colleague and, bloggs-2 in back seat, roll around laughing. Bloggs-1 catches on!! http://www.avnet.co.uk/pprune/Public_html/forum/biggrin.gif

(inland light aircraft lane through Willy airspace [now part of Oz G Spot] for those familiar with location.)

[Luke SkyToddler]

I heard a good one the other week, asian student pilot vs. Auckland tower:
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead XXX request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee, Auckland tower, squawk ident"
(Long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead xxx request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee remain clear of controlled airspace, squawk ident"
(another long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, Cessna 172, overhead ... "
Variations of this went on for a good few minutes, the poor guy had obviously no idea what a transponder was, but the punchline came from a jet jock who'd been listening to the whole ordeal
"Auckland, NZ XXX 3000 feet on visual approach, and that's a most appropriate callsign that guy's got"
"NZ XXX join left base, descent unrestricted, and amen to that!"

[ghost who woks]

NAVEX, student doing map reading and instructor flying. Flying helo with compass with markings every 5 degrees. Student gets position fix, about 1/2 mile left of track. He wants to impress instructor with his accuracy, does quick mental calculation to reintercept course in 30 nm.
STUDENT: Sir, turn right 1 degree to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Don't be stupid bloggs, you can't read the compass to 1 degree, how can you expect me to make a 1 degree heading change. Give me decent heading corrections.
STUDENT: Right sir. Turn right 10 degrees to 252.
INSTRUCTOR: That's much better bloggs, well done.
STUDENT: Thank you sir, now turn left 9 degrees to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Humphh! http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

[Hugh Jarse]

Reminds me of when I was studying CPL Nav at SY Tech. Those of you who know Len Yates will appreciate the delivery. Remember most of us were stooging around in PA38's, C150's and the like.

Len says: "Hands up those who can steer +/- 1 degree?"

About 10 hands down the front of the class (obviously eager to impress their professional attitude to flying) shoot straight up.

Len replies: "That's good, gentlemen...I'm happy to be able to steer +/- 10 degrees".

The silence was deafening.

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Jangan kentut!

[Deputy]

The student in question was on their 4th lesson and being monitored during the initial climb, passing approx 150ft with rising terrain ahead

Instructor: Bloggs, your airspeed is a bit high.

reaction...

Bloggs REDUCES POWER!!

concentrates your attention that does.

[This message has been edited by Deputy (edited 01 December 1998).]

[CHICKENTRAINER]

A predecessor at a regional flying school was checking a bloke, in a C172, who was uncurrent and had only ever flown PA28s.

Shortish final, approaching overhead the main highway into town and getting somewhat low, instructor tells bloggs "more power".

Bloggs, somewhat maxed out, failes to respond.

Instructor, "MORE POWER".

Bloggs - NO response.

Instructor, by now with high stress level as he has visions of taking out the top of the next pantech which passes, shouts "MORE POWER"!!!!!!!

Bloggs responds this time, bending the throttle almost 90 degrees to inst panel trying to increase power in an arc a la Piper rather than pushing straight in a la Cessna.

Instructor: frantic re bending of throttle & "taking over!!"

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ChickenTrainer

[Deputy]

Well Bloggs gets around!
Another tale from the Book of Bloggs:

Bloggs on a 90 check in a C172RG.
RWY 30 Canberra (noted for its up wind rising terrain)

Instructor checks engine failure after takeoff (EFATO) procedures. At 400ft AGL reduces power to idle with the announcement 'engine failure'.

Bloggs, immediately goes into panic mode with partially remembered checks inappropriate control movement etc ' flaps down, fuel on, trim full back, no, yes switches, Mayday'.

Instructor: 'where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'Huh?'
aircraft climb attitude maintained, IAS reducing

Instructor: "where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'wha...?'

aircraft IAS low and reducing.
Instuctor: 'Taking over.'

At no time did Bloggs remember to lower the nose, or check the IAS.
Yes this exercise was prebriefed.

You can usually anticipate the student Bloggs, its the licenced Bloggs you have to watch out for.

[iron]

So a true story:
A cheeky cadet on a flight test during the forced approach excercise was reported to have this conversation with the examiner....
Examiner: (pulls throttle) "proceed with engine failure procedures"
Cadet: (sets a/c up for best glide, picks a landing site, plans approach, and proceeds with procedures) "we will land in that pasture just down on our left"
Examiner: "Do you think that large ditch running through the field will pose a hazard?"
Cadet: "For the purpose of the exercise we will pretend it is not there"
Examiner: "You can't just pretend it is not there!!"
Cadet: "Why not, we are pretending to do a forced landing"
He passed the exercise......

[CHICKENTRAINER]

Touche http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/smile.gif

[iron]

student to tower: "tower this is Cessna 152 Golf Hotel India Juliet, I am out of fuel"
tower (slight stress in controllers voice): "GHIJ state your position and altitude"
student: "Tower this is GHIJ I am over here in front of the flying club can you call a fuel truck over?"

[iron]

student to ground: "ground this is Cessna 152 Golf Hotel India Juliet, I am on the ramp and ready to taxi for the active runway"
ground controller: "GIMJ the active runway is 07, taxi via taxiways Whiskey and Echo, contact the tower controller on 119.6 holding short, the ATIS information is Mike, do you have Mike"
student: "ground this is IMJ, sorry.... but today I am flying with Grahame"

[This message has been edited by iron (edited 17 December 1998).]

[This message has been edited by iron (edited 19 December 1998).]

[Roundeye]

Instructor: "What effect does headwind have on range?"
Student: "It depends what direction it is coming from"

[Hugh Jarse]

Iron, I hope you changed Schools!!

Roundeye, I flew with the same student...He told me that the stalling speed of an A/C is REDUCED in a headwind http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif

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[iron]

Hugh, why should I change schools.....? Obviiously I am missing something......

[Dan Winterland]

An apocryphal but true (cos I know the stude involved) story from RAF flying training.

Said stude had some ability, but not much agression - a quality needed in a fighter pilot (aparrently!). Stude was given to a new creamy (a creamy is a pilot who is made an instructor straight from flying training) so that he could be made to fly his Jet provost more aggressivly.

Creamy gives stude control of the aircraft at 180 knots with the instruction that he is to attempt to overstress knowing however hard stude pulls he is not going to exceed the 6g limit.

No problem thinks stude and immediately lowers the gear 35 knots over the limiting speed!

Moral: Make your handover brief succint, but make sure the stude knows what you want him/her to do.

[MEL]

Retard throttle after T/O call practice :
Reponse NO promptly push throttle to climb power !!!

S/E approach with gear up - warning horn sounding, unsafe light flashing asked at 300' if landing is assured answer yes !
(no problems with S/E perfromance)

Practice (simulated) engine fire on start up - Dumb Look and answers What do you mean ?

Top of loop in 8KCAB a 350 hours student told "relax back pressure" - responds with attempted 5 g pull out. Recovered asked afterwards - is that back pressure with respect to me of the level plan !!!! (Recommended to complete operations of controls again)

T Vasis is only with respect to an airline otherwise the PILOT will cross the threshold higher than 50' (This seems a favourite)

[Hugh Jarse]

MEL, with regards to T-Vasis, I was doing my CPL theory at SY Tafe back in the 80's. We had a fairly prominent, soon to be director of that ill-fated AAA Airlines teaching us NAV.

We moved onto the subject of T-Vasis, with our knowledgeable teacher explaining that this device was invented many years ago by a man named Trevor Vasis!(hence the name). I laughed so hard, my sides almost split! http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif

Funny, I now beleive he's a legal eagle....

[DeeTee]

Oops sorry I tread the hallowed turf of instructordom with trepidation....with a true story and a bit of a question. Whilst sitting in the back of a seneca watching my 'Gemini' buddy fly with our instructor. We had just finished a number of engine failure drills in all sorts of configurations and were now practising our S/E approaches and landings. Unfortunately having reached complete overload my mate forgot his landing checks and failed to lower the gear. As we turned final and got close to the runway, power was being reduced and of course the gear unsafe horn goes off. The horn continues for some time and at last the instructor says...we're a bit fast for a stall warner? Mate replies 'that is not the stall warner...that is the gear unsafe horn'. We continue...we are getting close to an expensive landing....'so what are you going to do about it' says instructor ....mate pauses and advances throttles above 15"MAP, sound goes away. As we get very close and very fast, he reduces power ...siren goes again...panic as realisation floods through and a late gear selection made. Mate insists it wasn't his fault as all through his training the gear unsafe horn is used as an indicator of a practice engine failure. He associated the horn with an engine failure....not with the gear not being down.....anyone else come across this?? Is it a problem??

[CHICKENTRAINER]

Sure is DeeTee, thats why so many wheels ups are done. Trng Capt pulls appropriate CB to prevent annoying noise and subsequently forgets to reset it till hearing a nasty matallic scraping noise, and a terrible sinking feeling.

The benefit of simulators is that you can practice to your hearts content without having to 'ignore' warnings, or 'simulate' failurs by simply retarding a power lever/throttle/mixture control.

"Touch wood", I've only had one 'failure'. Up to experiencing it, all my multi training had been in the aircraft.

The engine indications in the failure I experienced were nothing like those I had seen during training. The mental confusion this caused was shortlived but extreme.

On aircraft training, as all training, has its limitations, which is why in other threads, the point has been made that experience counts.



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ChickenTrainer

[Capt Claret]

New effo, on a wide right base RWY11. Cleared "visual approach, right base RWY 11". Bloggs immediately turns RIGHT, puting us on a very nice RIGHT base, RWY 36.

Different new effo, cleared via a STAR which commenced at a VOR then a turn. Pass over VOR, no sign of turn. Effo says "shall I turn now?"

Not that I've EVER done anything silly in an aircraft!! http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/wink.gif

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bottums up

[spamcan]

Cross-country Navex.Inside Lakenheath/Mildenhall USAF/RAF MATZ.
US Controller:G-EU say altitude.

Student: altitude!

US Controler:G-EU Turn heading 210 and clear my MATZ.

[Capt Homesick]

OK, I've already posted this one on the Bad Enlish (sic) thread, but here it is again:
A year or so ago, a student here at Vero Beach called for rejoin, without specifying whether for full stop or circuits (a local requirement).
Tower: "Seminole xx, what are your intentions?"
Seminole: "I stay FlightSafety one more year, then go fly China Airlines!"

[Hugh Jarse]

I was teaching students for a Korean airline a few years ago. Unfortunately, their command of the English language was a little less than what was really needed. Nevertheless, being conscientious, we would often take it upon ourselves to 'teach' these guys some of our colloquialisms.

I had to fly with another instructor's student on one occasion, and his name was 'Hong'.

I met him in my office for briefing one morning, and we exchanged pleasantries (as usual).

I asked "are you well, Hong?"
He replies, with a devious grin "Like a donkey, sir!" http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif http://pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/biggrin.gif