Unusual Student Responses
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Unusual Student Responses
Colleague of mine once had a student from SE Asia. The first rule when dealing with foreign students is that what you say usually means something completely different to the student. One example is the word 'endurance'.
In SE Asian countries this word has nothing to do with flying.
Instructor: "What is your endurance, Bloggs?"
Student: "I like it very much, sir"
Student giving PFL briefing: "We have had a slight engine failure. Please remove all sharp objectives. Sir, please pull out your teeth and put them under your seat......."
Another student almost crashes during a dual session of crosswind circuits. Instructor decides on a full stop and taxies back to the runup bays. Following some sound re-briefing, he asks the student if he has any questions. The student replies: "May I use the crosswind landing technique, sir?"
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non donatus rodent anus
In SE Asian countries this word has nothing to do with flying.
Instructor: "What is your endurance, Bloggs?"
Student: "I like it very much, sir"
Student giving PFL briefing: "We have had a slight engine failure. Please remove all sharp objectives. Sir, please pull out your teeth and put them under your seat......."
Another student almost crashes during a dual session of crosswind circuits. Instructor decides on a full stop and taxies back to the runup bays. Following some sound re-briefing, he asks the student if he has any questions. The student replies: "May I use the crosswind landing technique, sir?"
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non donatus rodent anus
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A fellow instructor was returning to the airport and pointed out to his student that they were flying 200' too high. He asked the student how he would correct this error. The student promptly turned the QNH knob and lowered the altimeter to read the correct altitude.
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A famous incident when an Asian student had forgotten to set Txpr to mode C, after several requests from ATC to "squawk Altitude", set 3500 on the transponder.... or (from another country), asked to standby by flight service, replied: 'So sorry no room in aircraft, request sitby'....
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In the circuit:
ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, traffic for you is a Cap-10 on low downwind. Do you have the A/C sighted?"
VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"
ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, do you have the A/C sighted? He's now turning base, 10 o'clock low."
VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"
ATC
frustrated) "Alpha Bravo Charlie, is that a YES callsign or a NO callsign?!!!"
VH-ABC: "Yes callsign".
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non donatus rodent anus
ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, traffic for you is a Cap-10 on low downwind. Do you have the A/C sighted?"
VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"
ATC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie, do you have the A/C sighted? He's now turning base, 10 o'clock low."
VH-ABC: "Alpha Bravo Charlie"
ATC
frustrated) "Alpha Bravo Charlie, is that a YES callsign or a NO callsign?!!!"VH-ABC: "Yes callsign".
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non donatus rodent anus
Moderator
Practice forced landings on flight tests are a good source of unusual responses, especially on the passenger brief. When I learned to fly it was "Take your pens out of your pocket!!"
In Oz it's "Take your false teeth out!"
And I recently flew with a Seth Effrican, who told me to "Take all your stilletto shoes off". Forget the seatbelts and the brace possie!
Then there was the student who patiently told me there was nothing wrong with the engine, I'd simply closed the throttle by mistake. *Sigh*
There are some other good ones on the Jandakot Tower page.http://www.swannet.com.au/moby/jandakot in the "did ya hear?" section.
In Oz it's "Take your false teeth out!"
And I recently flew with a Seth Effrican, who told me to "Take all your stilletto shoes off". Forget the seatbelts and the brace possie!
Then there was the student who patiently told me there was nothing wrong with the engine, I'd simply closed the throttle by mistake. *Sigh*
There are some other good ones on the Jandakot Tower page.http://www.swannet.com.au/moby/jandakot in the "did ya hear?" section.
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As an ATCO for Betty Windsor's Broad Arrow company I worked at one of her fine flying training establishment's and many funnies were heard on the RT - one Middle Eastern Prince used to fly visual circuits yelling "get out of my way" at anyone in front of him. Another student called for radar pickup and vectors, stating he was at FL900. My sharp colleague replied "report re-entry" to the bemused young chap. Mind you, we didn't think "Mayday Mayday Practice Mayday" was very funny - till the student marched all the way to the Tower and back to apologise.
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I had a strange thing happen the other day. I was flying with some student. I had just demonstrated a technique. I passed control to the student and said 'You have control' to which the student replied 'I have control'. The funny thing was that the student didn't have control thus demonstrating a lack of situational awareness. We did have a good chuckle over that one at the bar later that evening, over a pint
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I was watching the circuit traffic from the club house when a C152 made what looked liked a normal round out, but a little high. At 20ft it rapidly rolled to near 90 degree angle of bank, back to level then limp back into the circuit for a normal landing.
The instructor onboard had told the student to look at the end of the runway, so the student did....
the one BEHIND him, not the one in front.
The instructor onboard had told the student to look at the end of the runway, so the student did....
the one BEHIND him, not the one in front.
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Conducting a session of circuits during an initial twin endorsement. Turning base, and the student has overlooked extending the undercarriage. Student reduces power to commence descent.
Gear warning horn: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Instructor:"What could that be,Bloggs?"
Student:"We are stalling, sir. But don't worry, we have 100kts!"
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Perempuan gemuk tidak dibenarkan
[This message has been edited by Hugh Jarse (edited 23 November 1998).]
Gear warning horn: "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Instructor:"What could that be,Bloggs?"
Student:"We are stalling, sir. But don't worry, we have 100kts!"
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Perempuan gemuk tidak dibenarkan
[This message has been edited by Hugh Jarse (edited 23 November 1998).]
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A colleague many years ago had a student experiencing difficulty map reading. All was going well on a navex one day with bloggs studying map then locating features on ground.
Approaching a particular feature, bloggs says "railway turns right 90 degrees, town at bend, mountain in background". Bloggs looks ahead and identifies all features.
Colleague says to bloggs "what else about ralway"?
Bloggs looks at map, looks and looks at map, then in frustration looks at ground to see railway disappear into tunnel (said feature alluded to by colleague).
"AVALANCHE" shouts bloggs with much gusto.
Colleague and, bloggs-2 in back seat, roll around laughing. Bloggs-1 catches on!!
(inland light aircraft lane through Willy airspace [now part of Oz G Spot] for those familiar with location.)
Approaching a particular feature, bloggs says "railway turns right 90 degrees, town at bend, mountain in background". Bloggs looks ahead and identifies all features.
Colleague says to bloggs "what else about ralway"?
Bloggs looks at map, looks and looks at map, then in frustration looks at ground to see railway disappear into tunnel (said feature alluded to by colleague).
"AVALANCHE" shouts bloggs with much gusto.
Colleague and, bloggs-2 in back seat, roll around laughing. Bloggs-1 catches on!!
(inland light aircraft lane through Willy airspace [now part of Oz G Spot] for those familiar with location.)
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I heard a good one the other week, asian student pilot vs. Auckland tower:
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead XXX request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee, Auckland tower, squawk ident"
(Long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead xxx request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee remain clear of controlled airspace, squawk ident"
(another long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, Cessna 172, overhead ... "
Variations of this went on for a good few minutes, the poor guy had obviously no idea what a transponder was, but the punchline came from a jet jock who'd been listening to the whole ordeal
"Auckland, NZ XXX 3000 feet on visual approach, and that's a most appropriate callsign that guy's got"
"NZ XXX join left base, descent unrestricted, and amen to that!"
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead XXX request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee, Auckland tower, squawk ident"
(Long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, cessna 172, overhead xxx request enter the control zone for touch and go"
"Whisky hotel yankee remain clear of controlled airspace, squawk ident"
(another long pause)
"Auckland tower whisky hotel yankee, Cessna 172, overhead ... "
Variations of this went on for a good few minutes, the poor guy had obviously no idea what a transponder was, but the punchline came from a jet jock who'd been listening to the whole ordeal
"Auckland, NZ XXX 3000 feet on visual approach, and that's a most appropriate callsign that guy's got"
"NZ XXX join left base, descent unrestricted, and amen to that!"
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NAVEX, student doing map reading and instructor flying. Flying helo with compass with markings every 5 degrees. Student gets position fix, about 1/2 mile left of track. He wants to impress instructor with his accuracy, does quick mental calculation to reintercept course in 30 nm.
STUDENT: Sir, turn right 1 degree to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Don't be stupid bloggs, you can't read the compass to 1 degree, how can you expect me to make a 1 degree heading change. Give me decent heading corrections.
STUDENT: Right sir. Turn right 10 degrees to 252.
INSTRUCTOR: That's much better bloggs, well done.
STUDENT: Thank you sir, now turn left 9 degrees to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Humphh!
STUDENT: Sir, turn right 1 degree to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Don't be stupid bloggs, you can't read the compass to 1 degree, how can you expect me to make a 1 degree heading change. Give me decent heading corrections.
STUDENT: Right sir. Turn right 10 degrees to 252.
INSTRUCTOR: That's much better bloggs, well done.
STUDENT: Thank you sir, now turn left 9 degrees to 243.
INSTRUCTOR: Humphh!
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Reminds me of when I was studying CPL Nav at SY Tech. Those of you who know Len Yates will appreciate the delivery. Remember most of us were stooging around in PA38's, C150's and the like.
Len says: "Hands up those who can steer +/- 1 degree?"
About 10 hands down the front of the class (obviously eager to impress their professional attitude to flying) shoot straight up.
Len replies: "That's good, gentlemen...I'm happy to be able to steer +/- 10 degrees".
The silence was deafening.
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Jangan kentut!
Len says: "Hands up those who can steer +/- 1 degree?"
About 10 hands down the front of the class (obviously eager to impress their professional attitude to flying) shoot straight up.
Len replies: "That's good, gentlemen...I'm happy to be able to steer +/- 10 degrees".
The silence was deafening.
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Jangan kentut!
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The student in question was on their 4th lesson and being monitored during the initial climb, passing approx 150ft with rising terrain ahead
Instructor: Bloggs, your airspeed is a bit high.
reaction...
Bloggs REDUCES POWER!!
concentrates your attention that does.
[This message has been edited by Deputy (edited 01 December 1998).]
Instructor: Bloggs, your airspeed is a bit high.
reaction...
Bloggs REDUCES POWER!!
concentrates your attention that does.
[This message has been edited by Deputy (edited 01 December 1998).]
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A predecessor at a regional flying school was checking a bloke, in a C172, who was uncurrent and had only ever flown PA28s.
Shortish final, approaching overhead the main highway into town and getting somewhat low, instructor tells bloggs "more power".
Bloggs, somewhat maxed out, failes to respond.
Instructor, "MORE POWER".
Bloggs - NO response.
Instructor, by now with high stress level as he has visions of taking out the top of the next pantech which passes, shouts "MORE POWER"!!!!!!!
Bloggs responds this time, bending the throttle almost 90 degrees to inst panel trying to increase power in an arc a la Piper rather than pushing straight in a la Cessna.
Instructor: frantic re bending of throttle & "taking over!!"
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ChickenTrainer
Shortish final, approaching overhead the main highway into town and getting somewhat low, instructor tells bloggs "more power".
Bloggs, somewhat maxed out, failes to respond.
Instructor, "MORE POWER".
Bloggs - NO response.
Instructor, by now with high stress level as he has visions of taking out the top of the next pantech which passes, shouts "MORE POWER"!!!!!!!
Bloggs responds this time, bending the throttle almost 90 degrees to inst panel trying to increase power in an arc a la Piper rather than pushing straight in a la Cessna.
Instructor: frantic re bending of throttle & "taking over!!"
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ChickenTrainer
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Well Bloggs gets around!
Another tale from the Book of Bloggs:
Bloggs on a 90 check in a C172RG.
RWY 30 Canberra (noted for its up wind rising terrain)
Instructor checks engine failure after takeoff (EFATO) procedures. At 400ft AGL reduces power to idle with the announcement 'engine failure'.
Bloggs, immediately goes into panic mode with partially remembered checks inappropriate control movement etc ' flaps down, fuel on, trim full back, no, yes switches, Mayday'.
Instructor: 'where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'Huh?'
aircraft climb attitude maintained, IAS reducing
Instructor: "where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'wha...?'
aircraft IAS low and reducing.
Instuctor: 'Taking over.'
At no time did Bloggs remember to lower the nose, or check the IAS.
Yes this exercise was prebriefed.
You can usually anticipate the student Bloggs, its the licenced Bloggs you have to watch out for.
Another tale from the Book of Bloggs:
Bloggs on a 90 check in a C172RG.
RWY 30 Canberra (noted for its up wind rising terrain)
Instructor checks engine failure after takeoff (EFATO) procedures. At 400ft AGL reduces power to idle with the announcement 'engine failure'.
Bloggs, immediately goes into panic mode with partially remembered checks inappropriate control movement etc ' flaps down, fuel on, trim full back, no, yes switches, Mayday'.
Instructor: 'where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'Huh?'
aircraft climb attitude maintained, IAS reducing
Instructor: "where are we landing?'
Bloggs: 'wha...?'
aircraft IAS low and reducing.
Instuctor: 'Taking over.'
At no time did Bloggs remember to lower the nose, or check the IAS.
Yes this exercise was prebriefed.
You can usually anticipate the student Bloggs, its the licenced Bloggs you have to watch out for.
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So a true story:
A cheeky cadet on a flight test during the forced approach excercise was reported to have this conversation with the examiner....
Examiner: (pulls throttle) "proceed with engine failure procedures"
Cadet: (sets a/c up for best glide, picks a landing site, plans approach, and proceeds with procedures) "we will land in that pasture just down on our left"
Examiner: "Do you think that large ditch running through the field will pose a hazard?"
Cadet: "For the purpose of the exercise we will pretend it is not there"
Examiner: "You can't just pretend it is not there!!"
Cadet: "Why not, we are pretending to do a forced landing"
He passed the exercise......
A cheeky cadet on a flight test during the forced approach excercise was reported to have this conversation with the examiner....
Examiner: (pulls throttle) "proceed with engine failure procedures"
Cadet: (sets a/c up for best glide, picks a landing site, plans approach, and proceeds with procedures) "we will land in that pasture just down on our left"
Examiner: "Do you think that large ditch running through the field will pose a hazard?"
Cadet: "For the purpose of the exercise we will pretend it is not there"
Examiner: "You can't just pretend it is not there!!"
Cadet: "Why not, we are pretending to do a forced landing"
He passed the exercise......
