I've searched quite a while - skimming every airport-shop I came along, too.
Settled with this one:
Exhale Neck Pillow - View All Accessories | Official Eagle Creek Website
Deflatable to *small* package - and only 3-4 blows to inflate - and comfy - and a clip to hold the wings together in the front.
.. and frigging expensive in my eyes, but so far worth the money (brought me in good shape to Ottawa, Tokyo and back home).
Recline position not a problem.