I too loved Mess Life and the fellowship it provided. I basically handed over my entire wage at the end of the month. No regrets. You could not afford to live out, you were not expected to live out. The car would be some old banger to get you to the pub and possibly shared by several of you to cut the cost. It was not a job, it was not a career - it was a way of life.
We are now in a different world. The young Officers now own houses, fast cars and jet off to all points in their free time. The Mess is a place to stay in the week. Dining In Nights are sometimes seen as an encroachment of their free time. Why eat the Mess food when you can head into town? Many go home at the weekend and their wives have equally demanding careers so the 'parties on the patch' are fast becoming a thing of the past.
No point worrying about it. Time to adapt so I agree about having one combined dining facility with some separate areas for socialising. I would, however, not like to see the day arrive where uniforms are only worn at work with all travelling done in civvies. Hair nets for those who do not want to cut their hair. Messes only opened for specific functions. That would not be good but I have seen that in other European countries. That would be the start of a very slippery slope.
As for the contractors. A very good friend of mine has just handed in his notice after 4 years as an FTRS Families Officer. Sick of the dreadful service, lack of understanding and 'who gives a sh*t' attitude of the chosen contractor(s).
Sign of the times I'm afraid. 'Whole Force Concept' = 'Cheap as Chips'.