On one of my flights, a pax comes up to me and asks "when is this dustbin of an aeroplane going to take off then ?" to which I very politely answered (with my most gorgeous sincere smile): "Well, when it's full sir..."
And to another pax who was complaining about the size of the aircraft (a BAe 146 by the way)... "It's like most small things, sir, if you treat it with care and don't rub it up the wrong way, it grows in size !"
