IO540,
What a singularly dreadful experience!
You are obviously an individual possessed of considerable resource to have made your escape back to the 'SE' where such a unique series of calamities has never been recorded in the annals of that region.
Perhaps you might be good enough to alert all of us lazy Ahhhrish well in advance of your next voyage.
It will allow us to set our alarm clocks in preparation for your visit…after we struggle through our night courses on how to tell the time.
With sufficient prior notice we might even master the intricacies of fuel pump key operation, but I’m afraid we’ll have to charge you that extra 20% on general principals alone.
Slan Abhaile
Irelander