It always amazes me that there seems to be so many instructors that seem unsuited to the job. I was lucky and the instructors I had (up to CPL/IR level) were calm, understanding and helpful.
A good instructor, or any kind of teacher, has to see things at least in part from the students point of view. Sure, some people react well to the kind of instructing that you have endured but I reckon the majority do not. Humilation of students is nearly always counter productive and it's my suspicion that this style of instruction is intended to let the student know how clever the instructor is. Doesn't work though does it?
I agree with everyone else so far. You are the customer and your abilities are much higher that you think. YOU pay the money - YOU take your choice.
Good luck - and let us all know when you pass.