I was present - can't recall the capacity - at a Det CO's Orderly Room in Norn Iron once.
One of our crewmen had been observed by an aged - well, 40-something - RAFP Cpl servicing a "Carrickfergus Commando" on the billiard table of the Sgts' Mess. Cpl on his rounds had seen the alleged offence through the (insufficiently curtained!) window of the billiard room.
The Crewman was a good hand, and so the Boss was doing his best to "get him off" on a lesser charge or something.
Boss: So Cpl Snooks, what makes you so sure that Sgt Thruster was actually having intercourse when you saw him?
Cpl: Well, Sir, I've been married for 19 years, so I reckon I knows it when I sees it!
Much fists in mouths to prevent the laughter......
