Well Sir, it was like this Sir. I was marching smartly past the NAAFI at 0100 hours when this man rushed out and collided with the end of my fist, Sir. He fell to the ground and before I could halt, his nose contacted the toecap of my boot Sir. As I tried to help him to his feet, he suddenly came alert and sprang up hitting his right eye against my forehead - and th'as the honest truth Sir, Gord 'elp me!
O-D