Oh Satsuma. If this is troubling you so very much and clearly causing you such incredible levels of stress and hysteria then why don't you simply travel to Humberside, introduce yourself (perhaps keep the Satsuma bit secret) and go see for yourself? You can ask questions and take photos to your hearts content.
I'm sure they'd be delighted to show you around and is anything really worth such high blood pressure. You might even get a nice cup of tea.