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MANCHESTER MORNING HOOT **EXCLUSIVE**

Couple from Royston Veasy say dream trip to the Trafford Centre ruined by 'scary' halt at traffic lights set to red!


Special Correspondent CLOEY CLUELESS reports


Two grasping chavs say their dream shopping-trip was ruined by a 'scary' halt at red traffic lights yesterday.

Bessie Barmpot and her partner Ivan Eddake were returning from their dream trip to the Trafford Centre when they say their Cab2 taxi slowed to a halt at red traffic lights just before a busy junction.

Barmpot and Eddake waited for an explanation over the manoeuvre - called 'stopping at traffic lights' - which the driver blamed on a truck crossing the junction.

The City Council has told the 'Morning Hoot' that the truck was crossing the junction and that this is a 'common procedure' when traffic lights are set to green for crossing vehicles.

But the couple, who are regular taxi customers, say it left them terrified and mystified.

Barmpot, a freelance tatooist from Royston Veasy, said: "We were about 200ft from the red traffic lights when the engine idled and the taxi drew to a halt."

There were loud gasps from the rear seat as no information was given until the traffic lights turned green. "We didn't know what was going on - it felt urgent and terrifying!", wailed Barmpot.

Cabbie Henry Muggleton-Spoffin of Cab2 explained: "The taxi had stopped at red traffic lights whilst a truck crossed our path. It would have been unwise to speed through ahead of it on amber." Muggleton-Spoffin confirmed that his smart red-and-silver liveried 'Cab2Salford' taxi was undamaged following the "routine" traffic light stop.

Barmpot added: "I'm not a nervous passenger but this was frightening. I was in floods and floods of tears! I'm so angry and frustrated that we haven't had a proper explanation. When we rang Cab2 they said that stopping at red traffic lights is commonplace. If this is commonplace I'll never take a taxi again! BOOHOO!"

Eddake, 90, a beer taster, added: "All we wanted … HIC! … was a proper explanation like. An apology and acknowlegement of how terrified everyone in the back seat was. I had started to make my peace with God and there was a pair of ashen faces in that rear seat, I can tell you! It has blighted our perception of shopping trips - we came back and went straight to bed and just [content censored - EDITOR]."

The 'Manchester Morning Hoot' understands that the aggrieved couple have now consulted acclaimed personal injury lawyers 'Vultures'R'Us'. "We won't stop till we've made Cab2 pay for this horror," said lawyer Shaun Shameless. "We expect millions in compo for a traumatic incident like this."

Cab2 spokeswoman Philippa Meedaughter commented: "We apologise for any inconvenience caused by this regrettable incident. We will consider driving straight through red traffic lights in future to avoid distressing nervous passengers."


LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The above article is fictitious and any resemblance to real-life characters is purely coincidental. No animals were injured in the writing of this article. Except for the pig which ended up in that rather tasty bacon sandwich. Oh, and that bl**dy cat ...