A few years ago, at an airfield not too far from Abu Dhabi, some RAF Typhoons are due to depart and head back to blighty.
One of the Typhoon mates is due to leave the service and decides that it's probably appropriate to depart with a performance take off.
Typh, "Tower, Typhoon 33 would like to depart with a performance take off to 10k before routing blah blah blah."
Female ATC (very soft and polite voice), "Erm... standby please Typhoon 33..."
A moment or two pass whereafter a rather harsh, and significantly less polite male voice takes over, "Typhoon 33, it's all very well requesting a 'performance take off' however, you're clearly not aware that we are operating very close to one of the busiest airports in the world and a random departure heading simply isnt good enough. State your requested departure heading..."
Typh, "vertical."
Queue much chuckling from the USAF chaps on freq.