I operate into FNC quite often and have seen plenty of good days, bad days, and diversions.
The control tower knows exactly what the limits are. I beleive they use averaged wind over two minutes rather than instantaneous readings in the tower. If the tower says the wind is xxx/xx it means that as far as he is concerned you can try a landing. If he says 'xxx/xx what are your intentions', it means that if you land you will be reported to Portuguese CAA.
On days when the wind is obviously way outside limits, like most others , I go immediately to the diversion (PXO) and wait for an improvement, or possibly stay in the Instrument Hold Pattern at medium altitude. If there might be a chance of getting in, I fly around the visual circuit for as long as it takes to get in to land or to drop to diversion fuel. If the warning phrase ( while down wind) is given ,ie 'what are your intentions' I either say that I am staying in the pattern until conditions improve, or I put the gear down, continue the approach and ask for a wind check again on finals. If it is still outside the airport limit he will say 'clear to land wind xxx/xx what are your intentions.' It would be wise to go around.
I agree with the others who say that it is the wind and weather that dictates who gets in. It is pure chance. Obviuosly, if some pilots choose to give up before others that is their problem. TAP are definately not cowboys, but they do have the advantage of knowing the airfield better than anyone else. Like others, I have chickened out on approach and diverted when the wind is quoted as being well below the quoted limits. I have landed on days when the wind was on maximum limits, expecting a really rough ride and not heard the windshear for even a brief second.
Also, may I add that I have never been reported bt the tower, or asked to explain my actions to the Chief Pilot ..... yet!