Line check question on 777: how many ashtrays are there forward of L1 on this aircraft?
I remember as an SO doing a training flight with a Canadian STC of limited stature:
STC: if I went to the toilet now and an engine failed, what would you do?
Me: Well first I would check for severe damage and then.....
STC: NO! That's WRONG!!!!
Me: Well I would check the max altitude and if it was above the max altitude I would.....
STC: NO THAT'S %#* WRONG
Me: I would start the driftdown?
STC: WHAT THE @&$ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!!
Me: Well in my training they told us...
STC: HOW CAN I LEAVE YOU ALONE ON THE $&&@ FLIGHT DECK WHEN YOU DONT HAVE A @&$$? CLUE WHAT YOU ARE $&@? DOING. BY THIS STAGE YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO &@$? DO IF A $&&@ ENGINE FAILS IN THE CRUISE, blah, blah.......(ten minutes later).....AND THAT'S WHY YOU ARE $&@? USELESS.
Me: (Terrified and perplexed). I'm sorry I don't know the answer then..
STC: THE FIRST THING YOU DO IF AN ENGINE FAILS IS FLY THE $&&@? AIRCRAFT
Me (thinks): Really???? That's it?? Maybe I should mention I need to breathe as well...